Sunday, January 20, 2013
Thirty Days Of Dougie - Day 2 January 4, 2013 Well, I'm tired, I'm frustrated, I'm annoyed and I'm hurt. I really do not want to do this thing (and it's only day 2 of 30 - gads!). But I made a committment to myself and my millions (and millions) of Peeps that I would write each and every day. Bleh! So here I am, ready to reach into the box and draw out a random subject and just cut loose for about twenty-five / thirty minutes and see what comes up. Before I find out what my topic for today is, do you want me to do a short rant about what's on my mind? It's about feeling as if I'm being taken for granted far too often. It's about frustration in a strange situation. It's about wanting what once was instead of what now is and not being able to do a damn thing about it. Yeah, I'm intentionally being vague because even though I want to rant and talk about this, this isn't the time nor the place. I just need to suck it up and deal with it. Let's go reach into the magic box and find out what "Day 2" will be all about. So here we go... And the topic for today is... "James Dean". So what can I say about this legendary actor who only made three movies, but left a legend and legacy that will never be matched? He was, from all accounts, moody and manipulative, highly intelligent, but always searching for that missing piece of the puzzle. And based on the three movies he did make before dying in a car accident, he was one helluva great actor who could capture a character and role and become that person. He was real. Let's just take a quick look at the three movies that James Dean did star in. I have all three in my video library and would recommend them to anyone who wants to kill an hour or two and just be thoroughly taken in and exposed to the magic. Movie 1 - East of Eden: Based on the classic novel by John Steinbeck, this movie was about Cal (played by Dean) and his efforts to connect with the cold and distant father. Dean really made an impact, playing the "bad son" who just can't seem to get it right but finds redemption in the end as he becomes his father's keeper and confident. There's far more to the movie than that, but I'm not going into all of that here. Just watch the movie and you'll understand why America instantly was awed by and fell in love with James Dean from the very beginning. Movie 2 - Rebel Without A Cause: This is the movie that everyone thinks about when they think of James Dean. The picture of Dean, playing the character of Jim Stark, wearing that red jacket, smoking a cigarette, is legendary and engrained in the minds of all of us. It's just a great movie that's a bit simplistic in it's handling of several issues (abandonment, anti-social behavior, estrangment from parents, etc), but in the end, it works and Dean, Natalie Wood and Sal Mineo (who is in my opinion, the strongest and best character in this movie) end up creating their own little dysfuntional family. And then Plato is killed. I hate cops! But it's a great movie and one that I would strongly recommend for everyone. Movie 3 - Giant: This is a long-ass movie. I think it runs like almost three hours, maybe longer. It's got an interesting story and watching James Dean, Rock Hudson and Elizabeth Taylor age throughout the movie, going from twenty-somethings to old people is pretty cool. The movie is good at the beginning and James Dean really steals the show towards the end as "Jett", the ranch-hand turned oil billionaire, in the end. He's a great actor and plays the role to the max. The middle part of the movie is kind of bleh though and when I do watch it (rarely because it is so damn long), I just fast forward through that part. If you've got some spare time and are a fan of Dean's, Taylor's, or Hudson's (and look for a brief spot by Sal Mineo - if you blink, you'll miss it)... watch this movie. It's a great example of bigger is not always better. They made it too long, but the antics of Dean's character more than make up for the slow parts. And I guess that's it for me. That's not really all that much about James Dean, but more just some talk about the movies, but it's all I really have time for right now. I have Facebook pages to skim, phone calls to return, laundry to do and a nap to take, so let's close this up. James Dean is one of the most iconic and recognizable actors in American history. He only made three movies, but they were all stand-outs and fun to watch. James Dean lived the motto "Live fast and die young" and that's exactly what he did. He died far too soon before the potential and magic could really tapped to the max. But his legacy lives on and he will forever be the symbol of that rebellious spirit in all of us. He's truly then, now and forever the ultimate rebel without a cause. And so ends Day 2? Will I make it through the next 28 days? Will these get better? Just stick around and we'll all find out together, right? While you're waiting for the next installment of the "30 Days of Dougie" series, go check out this video that my main nigga, K-Mak made last night. You can see it right here: http://youtu.be/OcECxuYhQA4. The boy just ain't right, but that's why he's the InFamous K-Mak. (I hope that link works... lol) Ok, just cut and paste it in the browser or go to my Facebook page and find the link. It's there and you will definitely LMFAO! Just saying. And with that, I am down and out. See you tomorrow. Ubuntu!
And it's time for the madness to begin. It's "Thirty Days of Dougie: Day 1" and I'm ready to get this bad mama-jama started. What? You didn't get the memo? Well, let me explain exactly what this is all about. I used to write quite frequently. It was wrestling columns, short stories, surveys, rants and raves, recipes, etc... etc. It didn't matter what the topic was - I would write about it. And all was good with the world. And then I got lazy. My mojo got mojo'ed out and the magick went away. And now, it's time to get that mojo and magick back. So what I'm doing is essentially jumping back into the game head first and am going to attempt to once more be the most eclectic (and InFamous - ain't that right K-Mak?) writer / blogger / commentator on the block. I'm back!! And what's the "Thirty Days of Dougie?", you ask. Well, I've got a small box full of several hundred pieces of paper. And on each paper is a word or words with a topic. And completely at random, I will reach into the box each day and pull out one of these small pieces of paper. And whatever that topic is, that's what I'm going to write about. And I'm going to do this every day for the next thirty days and see what we end up with. Hopefully, it won't be too awful... lol. And now that I've explained exactly what I'm doing, it's time to quit with the procrastination and get to stepping. So let's reach into the box and see what topic I'm going to be talking about today. And here we go. The topic is... "The Job". Okay, I can easily do this one. So let's begin... Thirty Days of Dougie: Day 1 - "The Job" January 3, 2013 First questin has to be, "what job are they talking about?". Is it my "pay the bills" job, my "volunteer" job, my "I do it because it keeps me sane" job, my "dream / fantasy" job, or maybe it's talking about something dirty like a... Ok, I'm not even going to go there. It just says "my job" so I guess that means I can take it anywhere I choose to. What fun. So let's just tackle all of the possibilities. My "Pay The Bills" job: This is the one that takes up most of the time and makes the rest of them possible. And for me, it's playing cash-register monkey / peon at your friendly neighborhood convenient store. Yeppers, I'm the one who takes your money when you buy those cigarettes and taters and tries to be friendly (most of the time) when you're too busy talking to your friends and on that damn cell phone to even acknowledge my presence (unless I screw something up. That, you notice). It's a pie-job that requires few skills pays badly and has no future. And I've been doing it for over twenty-five years now. OUCH! "Why?", you ask, if its so bad, do I keep doing it? Well, it pays the bills, it's steady work and despite the B.S. and crap we constantly have to endure, I kind of like it. I like interacting with people and I like being in the middle of things. It's never boring and each and every customer is an experience in itself. Plus it's one of those things that you know will never get better, but it's not so bad it can't be tolerated. It's a rut and I'm in it and for the time being, content about it. I've been joking, ever since day 1 of working in these stores (Day 1 was with Jimmy Lee at the old Convenient Food Mart - loved that place!) that one day I was going to grow up and get a real job. Well, that was in 1987 and twenty-six years later, I still haven't gotten that "real job". Watch the movie "Clerks". I am Dante. I am Randall. I am Jay and Silent Bob. (Well, maybe not Jay... lol). I'm a convenient store clerk. That's what I do. And the beat goes on. So that brings up to my "volunteer job", which is to say that I help out at a local Food Bank. I used to mainly work on the inside of the operation during distribution day, but as of late, my "PTB Job" work schedule, plus my dislike of mornings, has hampered that part of my role with the company. Now I'm primarily the "Food Lion" guy which is to say that I'm the liason with the local grocery store and handle the pick-up and transportation for the food items that Food Lion donates to us each week. Plus I still make the occasional appearance at the Food Bank on distribution days and handle the client listings / paperwork. I need to get busy and make a new master-list too. And I serve on the Board of Directors for the company too. Who would have ever thought that I, the same crazy-ass, homo-emo redneck clerk from the c-store would ever be involved in something of this nature, much less with such a major role in all of it. But I am. I was "volunteered" back over five years ago for one day after I just happened to decide to go the Food Bank with a friend. They were short of help and the director needed a volunteer and picked my friend and me. And I've been there ever since. I get tired and frustrated with this job sometimes, but I still enjoy it and that's what matters. And it's giving back a little bit to the community at large and to people that need help and I can't complain about that. They (Hope In Christ Ministeries) do some great work and I'm just honored that they allow me to be a part of their group and help out as I can. My "Do It Because It Keeps Me Sane" job? Well, that's the whole writing thing. I write short stories. I write wrestling columns, or at least I did until Wrestle-Zone UK folded after almost 12 glorious years of being the UK's #1 pro-wrestling and MMA site. I need to find a new home for the columns and start writing again. I just like to write and talk and ramble and go on and on and on and on. It's kind of odd because back in school, I hated english and I flunked the hell out of "creative writing". And look at me now. But the writing thing is what keeps me sane. It provides an outlet for my anger, my fears, my anxieties and all of that fun stuff. If I didn't write, I would surely end up being one of those crazy-ass serial killers we keep hearing about on the TV news. Or else a weatherman. That's almost as bad. I've never made any money off the writing thing (although I have gotten some free books, CD's, t-shirts and tickets to local wrestling events... not too shabby) and I can't really see doing this to pay the bills. But it's just as much a job as anything I do. And I love doing it. And finally, there's my "dream / fantasy" jobs. What do I want to do? Well, it all comes down to two main areas. Pro wrestling and writing (big surprise, right?). I want to find a way to make a living doing exactly what I'm doing now. Just sitting in front of this computer and letting the words flow from my head. And I would also love to be involved somehow in the creative side of a small wrestling company. I know I've got the knowledge, the mind, the talent for it. I just have to have the chance to do it. And eventually, I will either get that chance or else I'll just go back to booking fantasy wrestling as I did a few years ago with my own (awesome) version of WCW. I did it before and I can do it again... because I'm I'm the Maynard and I'm.... AWESOME! (Miz is calling his lawyer right now! Oops!) I'm going to end this now because I just looked at the clock and it's time to head out and get funky like a junkie monkey riding a donkey. Hey K-Mak, I'm coming home brutha! So that's the end of this particular blog. Comments welcome and appreciated. It's the end of "Day 1" - only 29 more to go... How am I doing thus far? Back tomorrow with "Day 2" of the "Thirty Days of Dougie". Thank you for reading and I'll catch you on the flip side. Ubuntu!
Are you ready? I said "ARE YOU READY?"... because the new revolution is about to begin. Okay, maybe it's not all that, but starting tomorrow (Thursday), we begin a thirty day journey into the realms of insanity, dreams, hopes, wishes and whatever the heck else comes up. I'm talking about a project designed to get my lazy butt back into the writing game, as well as entertain, inform, annoy and just generally make you go "Hmmmmmm!". What am I talking about, you ask. Well, I decided to take a small box. And in that box are hundreds of small pieces of paper. And on each piece of paper is a word or two. And for the next thirty days, I will reach into that small box each day and withdraw one of these small scraps of paper. And whatever word is on that piece of scrap, that will the topic of the day and I'll write about it. It's "Thirty Days of Dougie!". All together now. "Yay!": I love to write, but as of the past few months, I've gotten extremely slacko. No short stories or fics. No wrestling columns. No political rants. Nothing! And that's just not right. Part of the reasons for my slackness was lack of internet. I had a computer, but no way to post anything. If I can't post and get some kind of feedback, then what's the whole point of writing, right? Plus my work schedule and social schedule. (I have a life... yay!) I work five days a week, do the Food Bank / volunteer thing 3-4 days a week and socialize with La Krew Familia at least two nights a week (because they're awesome and I love 'em!). So where is the time for writing? I used to do a whole lot more with a whole lot less free time, but I got older, got slacker and lazy. That just ain't cutting it anymore. So it's time to tighten up and get back in the game. Consider this an experiment to get rid of the ring rust and see if I'm still "the man!". I think I am, but I've got to quit the talking and do the walking and now, I am. So for the next month, get ready to laugh, cry, scratch your head a little bit, get angry or just go "eh!"... I'm back! It starts tomorrow so you have been warned. I want comments and feedback and if you have any ideas for topics to add to the box, let me know about those too. Nothing is off limits and I'm not planning on holding anything back. Dougie - real, raw and uncensored. Just consider the next 30 days my version of the CM Punk "Pipe Bomb"... Now it's time for a nap. Check back tomorrow for "Day 1". And let's get this party started. Whoo-hoo! Ubuntu!
Saturday, December 22, 2012
All righty then. I told myself that just as soon as I got the internet back up and running here at the house, I would immediately reassume my spot as professional wrestling's most eclectic columnist and the crazy-ass wannabe writer that you all have grown to know and love over the past ten or so years. So I get the internet back and am on the computer. And guess what? My mind has gone totally blank. I feel like James Stockdale at the 1988 Vice Presidential Debate. "Who am I? Why am I here?" I can't think of anything to write about. Oh vey! But then again, when have I ever let anything like that stop me before? Those of you who have read some of my columns / blogs of the past ("Tossing Salt - Worldwide News", "Tiger Tales", "Six Minutes", etc) all know well that just because I don't have anything going on in my head, I won't let that stop me. Damn, that doesn't sound very good, does it? So where shall I begin on my random rant of anything, everything and nothing at all? How about just some observations and commentary of the past few months and all that has happened since I've been "away". Does that sound like a plan? Okey-doke. Let's do this. We had a political election and President Obama got re-elected. Am I happy about that? Not at all. In my opinion, the current President is arguably the worst President in our country's history and is only going to make things even more bad that they are right now. Look at the unemployment numbers. Look at the gas prices and the costs of everything in general. Look at the national debt which he has almost tripled since taking office. If Obama was the CEO of any major corporation and had a job perfomance like he's had as the President of the United States, he would have been out on his butt and terminated long ago. But this is a country where the Presidency is a popularity contest and whoever can play to the cameras and media generally wins out over who can actually do the better job. Mitt Romney was a bad candidiate for the Republicans. And he lost. It's that simple. I don't like it, but I'm living with it and life goes on. Maybe the President will surprise me and things will get better. I don't have much faith or confidence in the man or his policies, but we have to live with the choices that this country made and we'll survive. The world was supposed to end yesterday according to the Mayan calendar. It didn't. We're still here. I guess that means I need to get started on my Christmas shopping, right? Only two more shopping days. Yay! And yes, I do say "Merry Christmas!"... because that's what it is. To heck with political correctness and if anyone doesn't like it, kiss my mistletoe. I could comment on wrestling and the current state of the WWE, but surprisingly, I haven't watched an entire episode of RAW or Smackdown in almost three months and am way, way behind on the happenings and activities of the WWE Universe. I hate that nickname by the way. I know that CM Punk is still the WWE Champion (and the best in the world) and that Miz is "awesome" and that Paul Heyman's bald spot is getting bigger. I also heard that (Woooooooooo!) Ric Flair was back on RAW this past week at the Slammys show. And all of that is well and good, but I need to catch up on things before I start doing too much about the world's greatest sport. We had a DVR installed yesterday when I got my internet restored so I'll be able to watch RAW, Smackdown and Impact Wrestling again (despite my store manager's best efforts to make me work like a toddler from Tibet in a sweatshop) and the commentaries and wrestling style rants will resume soon. Count on that. Big shout out to La Krew Familia... Ya'll are my family as much as the blood-related folks are (more so in many ways) and I love ya'll big tyme... even if ya'll are a bunch of Infamous scoundrals sometimes... lol And to "T" and "Brother Greg" and the past and present "Stoneys" - you know who you are... lol. My "real family"... <3 We're just a few days away from Christmas. Only two more shopping days to go. I already mentioned that, didn't I? It really hasn't felt that much like Christmas this year or even like any kind of holiday. Usually, I'm really good about sending out Christmas cards, but to be honest, I haven't even sent out a single card yet this year or even decorated anything. I'm just not feeling it this year. I bought a card to send to the man I love and want to spend my life with, but can't be with (yes, that drama continues and I still love him with all my heart and soul) and I've got to buy a present (a gift card) for someone at work who's name I drew, but aside from that... BLAH! I'm trying to get into the spirit and I'll be going to Wal-Mart in tomorrow probably in the AM to find something for Ma and Kayden (love that lil' boy!), but it's just not happening this year. I'm trying, but... I do have a quick little memory to share though. This was 1988 I believe and I was living on my own at Briarwood Apartments. Apt. 50. And my roomie at the time was a very awesome young man named Jack Carter. I haven't talked to Jack in a while even though we're friends on Facebook. I think about him often though and miss those days. He was (and is) one of the most unique and incredible person's that I've ever known. Anyhow, that year, I was working at Convenient Food Mart (Jimmy Lee's) and we had this big old live tree in our apartment that we had picked up somewhere (don't ask). And money was tight. We had to pay rent, buy beer, eat, buy beer, etc. So we decorated up the tree with the available resources. Fake snow and Natural Light cans. And guess what? It looked incredible. I wish we had taken pictures of that tree. I wish we had taken more pictures back in those days anyhow. Those were good times. We didn't take pictures of that tree, but it's forever there in my mind and memories. That was the best Christmas tree (and in hindsight, one of the best Christmas's in general) that I ever had. To be young and without a care in the world except for just having fun (and drinking lots of beer!) I guess I'm going to close this ramble-fest. It's short, but it's just the start of the rebirth and new beginning of the "Tossing Salt Media, Inc" empire. Actually, I have a plan for world conquest. But that's not important right now. I also have a plan to throw myself back into the picture as a writer/blogger and to get my skills back up to par after the long layoff. And after Christmas, I'll tell you what it is... lol. I'm being a tease. Yes, I know this, but that just makes it more exciting and fun for me. Let me just suffice it to say that I'm back and once I start cutting loose (cause that's how I roll), it will be as Chris Jericho used to frequently say. "The world will never be the same... again!" Okay, I guess I really have rambled enough. And I didn't even get a chance to touch on the tragedy at Sandy Hook (way too sad - I cried), work (chicken and taterville USA), Johnny Bootlegger, gun control (how about idiot control?), bears, two-faced friends and users (that's a full multi-part blog in itself), or that damn cat of mine. Yeah, there is definitely more to come. Thanks for reading my "warm-up" blog. I've got to go get ready for work now so I really will close this up. Have a great day, my Peeps. Merry Christmas and Happy Holidays to everyone. And keep passing those open windows. Ubuntu!
Sunday, September 9, 2012
Tossing Salt - Worldwide News TNA No Surrender Predictions September 9, 2012 Doug Maynard Testing... testing! 1... 2... 3. Is anyone there? Well, wake the hell up and get ready because I'm back Peeps and I've got something to say. My work schedule for the next week... SUCKS!! Okay, that is all. So now that that's out of the way, let's get on with the real reason I'm here tonight sitting in front of this computer and missing out on some much needed sleep. And that reason is "TNA No Surrender", which airs on pay-per-view tonight. I wasn't going to do a prediction column at first, but then I thought about it and changed my mind and decided, "What the hell!". So here I am. I'm Doug and and I AM professional wrestling's most eclectic "internet wrestling journalist" and "salt-tosser". I know that you peeps thought I was through and you were finished with me? Well, think again cause I'm back! Let's get right to the matches and my predictions because I have something else I want to do tonight before I head to bed and I need to get to hopping if I'm going to manage to get it all completed and posted. So here goes. I've got my "Sister Cleo" crystal ball all polished up and primed. Let's do this... Impact Wrestling World Champion Austin Aries versus A Member of Aces & Eights I'm not sure if this is supposed to be a title match or not, but I guess it really doesn't matter anyhow because it won't be much of a match. It'll be a chaotic, pier-six brawl with lots of other people, for both sides, getting involved. I expect we'll see a big gang beatdown of the TNA Champion, Aries and then a big mob scene at the end with the Aces & Eights team fleeing after picking their shots and leaving Aries laid out and beaten. Winner: No Contest - Match Ends in Double DQ or Double Count-out! Bound For Glory Semi-Final Match: James Storm versus Bully Ray Well, the news broke just a few days ago that Bully Ray has signed a new two-year deal with TNA. Do you know what that means? It's means that the "Bully" is going over and taking no prisoners. Look for some interference by Bobby Roode and Bully taking advantage to steal a win, thus taking himself to the BFG finals and also freeing up Storm for a match at Bound For Glory against Bobby Roode so they can settle their feud. Works for me. Winner: Bully Ray Bound For Glory Semi-Final Match: Samoa Joe versus Jeff Hardy Jeff Hardy doesn't need to win and to be honest, even though he's come back a long ways, he still doesn't (in my eyes) deserve to be in the main event / World Championship picture. Joe has looked really great as of late and even when TNA was shitting all over him, he stayed loyal and proved that he is a team player to the max. It's time for that loyalty to be rewarded. Samoa Joe kills bitches (and Jeff Hardy) dead and moves on to face Bully Ray in the BFG Finals. Winner: Samoa Joe Bound For Glory Finals Match: TBD versus TBD Well, I think it will end up being Samoa Joe versus Bully Ray for this match and the future shot at Austin Aries at the BFG ppv. And actually, either match would be really good to see. My first thoughts are that it's finally Joe's time to get that elusive TNA Championship, but Bully just signed a new deal and you know that he's getting something major out of the deal... could it be a shot at Austin Aries at BFG? I think so. Winner Who Gets Title Shot at BFG: Bully Ray Impact Wrestling Tag Team Championship Match: Christopher Daniels & Kazarian versus AJ Styles and Kurt Angle Four of the best wrestlers in the world today and they're stuck in a meaningless tag team match? I know it's for the tag titles, but for Angle and Styles, that would be kind of a fall from grace. Oh wait, that's only in the WWE. In TNA, tag teams actually mean something. My bad! I just can't see Angle and Styles lasting very long as a team. So naturally, that means that they'll win and we'll get the often-done "feuding partners" storyline going on. I hope not, but that's usually the way these things go and I don't think TNA will be any different. Winners and NEW TNA Impact Wrestling Tag Team Champions: AJ Styles & Kurt Angle Impact Wrestling X-Divsion Championship Match: Zema Ion versus Sonjay Dutt I didn't even know that Sonjay was back with TNA. That's good for him and them though because he's an excellent wrestler and is capable of having a good match with almost anyone. I'm kind of surprised that they didn't hotshot Chavo Guerrero into this match, but I guess it's better that Sonjay is the opponent because I just don't see Ion losing the X-Division title anytime soon or at least not until Jesse Sorenson makes his return. Besides, Ion is doing a great job thus far (and he's an incredibly sexy beast) so he deserves to keep the title. And on Sunday night, he will. Winner and STILL X-Division Champion: Zema Ion Rob Van Dam versus Magnus Magnus is another one of TNA's wrestlers who has just gotten better and better as of late and is really starting to come into his own. This should be one helluva good, high impact match. As for who wins, RVD doesn't need the win and Magnus does. So I'm going with Magnus to take that trip to the pay window. Winner: Magnus Impact Wrestling Knockouts Championship Match: Brooke Tessmacher versus Tara And finally, we get the classic "Teacher versus Student" match as Brooke (Not Hulk's daughter - the one with actual talent) takes on Victoria (I know she's called Tara now, but she'll always be Victoria to me). This could actually be a good match as neither of these ladies are slouches in the ring and Victoria is talented enough to cover up any mistakes that Brooke might make. Victoria won the match on TV so logic says that Brooke wins the match at the PPV. But to hell with logic - I want the psycho Victoria back in action and I want her to be the Knockouts Champion. And come Sunday night, I'm thinking I'll get both my wishes. Winner and NEW TNA Knockouts Champion: Victoria (Tara). And there you go. My predictions for TNA No Surrender, taking place tonight (September 9. 2012) at the Impact Zone Arena in Orlando, FL. I won't be able to watch the show due to having to work (six freakin nights closing this week - whazzup wit dat?), but I think it should be a pretty good show. TNA has really come a long ways in just a short time over the past few months and I hope that the hard work, good wrestling and excitement and energy continue tonight at the pay per view. And I guess that's all for me for now. I'll probably be back later with some more wrestling goodness so don't go away (or at least don't go too far away!) InFamous Ent. is the way to go and we're taking over. Don't know what that means? Don't worry - you will. I'm Doug and I'm out of here for now. See you on the flip side and never, ever forget. Wrestling is real! It's life that's fake! Ubuntu!
Friday, June 15, 2012
Tossing Salt Triple-Threat Movie Review June 15, 2012 Well, I was supposed to be at a session with my therapist right now, but she called me last night and left a message on the machine. After just one (1) previous session, she's leaving her position and going to another job. Translated: That dude is freakin' nuts and I can't deal with him - let me gets the hell out of here! No, not really (I don't think). She got a chance for another job with another company and it's a better position with more money so she's correct in going for it. It's merely a coincidence that her last day just happened to fall on the same day as my appointment and that this was the day we were supposed to do the "deep revelations" and really get into my background in an attempt to find out what my problems are. It's all just a coincidence. (Yeah, right!) Or is it? Regardless of why she's dumping me to the curb, I've ended up with a few free minutes of time before I have to head out and do the most dastardly and evil, nasty act in the history of man... I have to go to... Wal-Mart. I need drinks and an ink cartridge for my printer. And cat treats. Can't forget the cat treats or else my "damn cat" will most definitely make me forget it. But that's in a little while, after my hair dries and I decide what pair of flip flops and socks to wear. (I've always heard that a person should dress appropiately for his enviroment and for Wally-World, flip flops and socks, torn jean shorts and an "I'm With Stupid" t-shirt seems most appropiate. Unfortunately, I don't have the latter two items so I'll have to improvise. Maybe I can find my pajama pants and a sweat shirt to wear? Hmmmm! I think I've gotten off track. Yeah, that happens sometimes. I got distracted by the young man who lives across the street. He doesn't like me (I don't think) and is even more anti-social than I am (imagine that), but damn it, he's a sexy dude. Would love to be able to strike up a friendship (with benefits) with that guy. I love his hair and the whole attitude thing. It's HOT! Did I mention that I won ten dollars ($10) on a $1 scratch-off ticket yesterday morning. I had an urge / compulsion to waste a buck and bought one "Amazing 8's" ticket and do my part to support the (crooked) NC Lottery system. And I scratched and I won ten bucks. Yay me! Okay, so about last night. I left work at 11:15pm and was stressed out / tired. I decided to stop by the Red Box machine and get a couple of movies to watch and wind down with. And since I'm not working today and have a few minutes of free time, I've decided to do some quick, Cliffnote style reviews of those same three movies. I picked some doozies to be sure, but they seemed good at the time. So now I'm finally back on track and ready to do some movie reviews. Let's do this. Movie # 1 was "Abe Lincoln versus Zombies". I knew from the title and cover that it would either be really good or really bad. And though it started off well enough, it quickly proved that it wasn't really all that. I liked the civil war outfits and the dude playing Abe Lincoln was pretty cool even though he had a whiney, nasal-filled voice that made him sound and look like a dweeb. The zombies were a great example of what can be done with little make-up and (I guess) next to no budget as they were kind of cool too. But the story-line was non-existent and if it did exist, I lost track almost immediately. Maybe this movie would be better if I was drunk or on drugs... lots and lots of drugs, but it just didn't do anything for me and was a waste of time. Love the title and the concept on the movie, but it just didn't work. Maybe the sequal (Barack Obama versus Dracula) will be better? Movie # 2 was "The Smurfs". And guess what. Despite bringing back all sorts of childhood trauma from watching that dastardly cartoon all those years ago, and despite the fact that the "Smurf song" (La La La La La La - La La La La La) is stuck in my head, I actually liked it. It's Neil Patrick Harris and a bunch of computer generated blue thingys running around and being cute. It's a cute little harmless movie and was even entertaining at points. You haven't lived until you see N.P.H. and the Smurfs playing Guitar Hero and singing the Run DMC version of "Walk This Way". Would I recommend this movie to anyone? Not really because it's not really the type of movie that a person should admit to liking or enjoying or else you'll be advised to go see a therapist. But hell, I'm already seeing a therapist (or was until she abandoned me) so I can sit back and enjoy it with no reprocussions or major brain damage. Anything with Neil Patrick Harris is generally going to be good and this is no exception. It's not for everyone, but I liked it. Lord shoot me now! And finally, the # 3 movie I watched was "Cowboys versus Aliens". And even though I don't particularly care for cowboy movies or sci-fi movies (I like super heroes - not space ships), I liked it. It was well written, well acted and the movie actually made sense (about as much sense as cowboys fighting martians possibly can anyhow). Again, this movie isn't for everyone, but it moved along fairly quickly and I didn't get bored (which is pretty amazing in itself). So if you want to spend a few mindless hours just watchig a movie and escaping from the real world for a little while, this Sci-Fi Western might just be the way to go. By the way, the reference to the movie "Barack Obama versus Dracula" earlier is just something I made up. It doens't exist, but if I get really bored one afternoon, who knows? It eventually might... lol. And I guess that's all for now. My hair is nearly dry and I need to go ahead and get that pleasant shopping experience that is Wally-World over with. And when I'm finished there, I'll come home and give myself an enema with Drano and a plunger... which would probably be just about as much fun. OUCH!! I just pictured that mage in my head. Hmmmmm! Maybe not! So there you go. My movie reviews for three movies I watched last night / today after work. Hope you liked it. And now, I'm headed out. Wish me luck at the Hell-Mouth. I'm gonna need it. Ubuntu!
Monday, May 28, 2012
Wrestling Fact Or Fiction May 26, 2012 Doug Maynard Russell Jackson It's back and with a vengence (kind of like Chyna on the set of a porn movie). It's "Tossing Salt Presents: Wrestling Fact or Fiction". I'm Doug and along with the real baddest man on the planet, he makes Mike Tyson cry, Russell Jackson, we're here to kick butt and take names rasslin' style. Actually, we're just taking a look at ten different situations in the world of sports-entertainment and determining among ourselves if it's Fact or Fiction, good or bad, sweet or sour, high or low, sell or no sale, etc... We're telling it like it is because that's just how we roll. Sorry for the absence of the past two weeks. Both Russell and I have had issues and obligations that have caused havoc in our lives, but things are back on track and on schedule and we're ready now to rock and roll. And I've rambled long enough so let's do this. Questions were sent out early in the week. WWE expanding RAW to three hours every Monday night is a good move? Russell - FICTION: 2 hours of Raw every Monday night is more talk than action...A move to 3 hours will be even more talk & even less action...It's a bad move... Doug - FICTION: Doesn't anyone in the WWE remember WCW and Nitro and how many problems that they had filling three hours of Nitro each Monday night. I understand why the WWE is doing this - the USA Network wants them to and it will mean a substantial increase in revenue for the company, but when you factor in the added expenses for more talent, more writers and the toll this will take on the so-called "creative teams" for the extra hour of television, when they're already doing Raw, Smackdown, Superstars, NXT, AM Raw and FCW, it's just not worth it. When you read Eric Bischoff's book, "Controversy Creates Cash", which is a very good read, Bischoff goes into great detail about how much harder it made things for WCW to survive when they added the third hour to Nitro and then added Thunder as well. You would think that the USA Network and the WWE would look at that example and learn from it rather than make the same mistakes. Three hours will burn out the Monday night audience, allow much more crap than usual to make it on the air and put more pressure on everyone and will end up hurting the company far more than it can possibly help. It's not a good mood at all. Sometimes, too much really is too much. (1-0) TNA Impact! going live every Thursday night for the summer is a good move? Russell - FICTION: How bout TNA Impact going live every Thursday night from now on?...At least people will have to tune in to TNA Impact shows if they wanna know what's gonna be on the show... Doug - FACT: It's throwing stuff up against the wall to see what sticks and while trying to compete against RAW on Monday nights a couple of years ago wasn't the brightest of moves, I can't see this doing anything but helping the company at this point. It adds a sense of anticipation and excitement to the show that pre-taped shows can't possibly have. When it comes to sports-entertainment, live is almost always better. It'll add more pressure to the wrestlers and production teams to do their very best and should help to draw some new fans to the TNA product, checking it out to see if things are any better than the last time they took a look. This could be a big opportunity for TNA to reach out and find a new audience if they do it right. It surely can't hurt. It should attract some a few new viewers. (1-1) Bring Paul Heyman in to act as Brock Lesnar's representative was a smart play by the WWE? Russell - FACT: Paul Heyman was the guy that helped guide Brock Lesnar to his first of three WWE Championships in Lesnar's first stint with WWE...It only make sense to have Paul Heyman be brought in to serve as Brock Lesnar's representative, as Paul Heyman is a close friend & business partner of Brock Lesnar...Smart move by WWE... Doug - FACT: Having Paul Heyman come in, especially when you consider his history not only with Brock, but with the WWE in general, was a major gain for the WWE. Paul's character will attract older fans, from the ECW glory days, plus it adds some legitimacy to the Brock - HHH storyline because nobody is better at blurring the line between reality and storyline than Heyman. It's a win - win for all parties involved. Heyman is de' man! Heyman is a wrestling genius. (2-1) Brooke Hogan will make a good addition to the TNA Knockouts Roster? Russell - FICTION: Brooke Hogan - Another idiot "Hogan" name bein brought to the TNA Organization & bein hand picked by her idiotic father to run the TNA Knockout Division...Another huge crack in the sinking "Titanic" that is TNA... Doug - FACT: And no, I'm not joking. I'd definitely much rather see Brooke in a TNA ring, getting her ass kicked by the other TNA Knockouts than have to ever listen to her attempt to sing again. She has name recognition and some noteriety that comes along with her and hell, she can't be any worse than Garett Bischoff, right? Let her be a Knockout. She might actually be able to have some skill and ability at this job. Just don't make us listen to her sing. (2-2) WWE was smart to sign Ashley Flair (Ric's daughter) to a developmental contract? Russell - FACT: Ashley Flair getting a developmental contract with WWE was a smart move on WWE's part...Before too much longer, I see Ashley's father, Ric Flair, to makin his return to WWE in some way, shape or form... Doug - FACT: If Ashley wants to try wrestling and has even half the ability that her younger brother Reid was showing (before he screwed up and got a drug arrest, thus costing him his WWE Developmental deal), then it's a great move by the WWE. The name "Flair" still sells wrestling tickets and besides, nothing ventured and nothing gained, right? I strongly suspect that Ric Flair will be back in the WWE in some capacity before the year is out (TNA is getting tired of his shenanigans) and once the heat dies down on Reid and his screw-up is pretty much forgotten, he'll probably be back in the WWE as well at some point. So why not hire Ashley and make it a "Flair Family Reunion". It can't hurt and at least it's not the Hogan's, right? Wonder if she can go "all night long"... Wooooo! (3-2) <<<--- SWITCHEROO --->>> Turning the Big Show heel at "Over The Limit" was a good idea? Doug - FICTION: I'm kind of torn on this one because it's probably good for the Big Show's character, which has become extremely stale and boring over the past few years. It'll give him a chance to tweak the character and be a total ass-clown for a change rather than the big goof he's played so often as of late. But the reason I'm saying fiction is just that it was so damn predictable and boring. As soon as the stipulation was named for the match, we all knew that there would be outside interference to help save "Big Johnny" from getting his butt kicked. The only question was would it be Brock Lesnar, who has "quit" or Big Show, who Laurinaitis had just "fired". Well, know we know. Yawn! This would have been a great time to maybe debut some of the newer talent from WWE Developmental instead of being so damn predictable. Almost anything or anyone else would have been better. Russell - FICTION: Turning the Big Show heel at "Over the Limit" PPV was a friggin stupid move on WWE's part & now we're stuck with a Big Show vs John Cena feud...*looks down, shakes head*... Big Show does not a good heel make. (4-2) Having John Laurinaitis "defeat" John Cena at Over The Limit was a good call by the WWE? Doug - FACT: Another call where I wanted to say "fiction", but if Cena had won, then what would happen next? It'd be over and he'd be back in the WWE title picture, hogging the spotlight from folks like CM Punk, Daniel Bryan and Sheamus. With "Big Johnny" getting the win, we're pretty much assured that Cena will be busy for the next few months playing "Stone Cold" to Laurinaitis's "Mr. McMahon" and thus, kept away from the major titles and leaving the belts to people who deserve that spot of glory for a change. True, this means that we have to listen to "Big Johnny" for a while longer and endure this "PeoplePower" crapola or whatever it is that he calls it, but anything that keeps Cena away from the major titles is, in my mind, a good thing. Russell - FICTION: Seriously?...John Laurinaitis gettin the win over John Cena at Over the Limit PPV?...What will happen next? John Laurinaitis challenging for a WWE Championship title?...Plain pathetic... Johnny Ace knows how to generate heat - that's for sure. (4-3) WWE made the right call in having Christian defeat Cody Rhodes for the Intercontinental Championship? Doug - FICTION: Don't get me wrong. I'm glad to see Christian (finally) back in action, but coming in and defeating Cody for the IC title as quickly as he did just totally crapped all over Cody and his efforts as the IC Champion over the past year. The money, for a guy like Christian, isn't in being a champ, but in the pursuit of the title. What draws the fans is wondering "can he do it" and just "one more match"... lol. And what's up with this sudden face turn for no reason? When last we saw Christian, he was kissing up to John Laurinaitis, annoying everyone in sight and whining constantly about "one more match". And now, for no reason at all, he's back from his injury and he's all sweet and lovable and Mr. Nice Guy on the side of the angels. I don't mind heel turns or face turns if there's a reason behind them, but this just happened and it doesn't make any sense. But then again, this is the WWE and making sense isn't necessarily required for their storylines, is it? Oh vey! Russell - FACT: Not only having Christian defeat Cody Rhodes for the I.C. Championship, but Christian turning back to a "face" as a result of winning the I.C. Championship was a good call over all...At least, maybe, we won't get to hear Christian asking "For one more shot at the World Heavyweight Championship"...One can only hope... And on Sunday night, Peeps all across the world joined together and rejoiced. (4-4) CM Punk was the right choice to win his match and retain the WWE Championship against Daniel Bryan? Doug - FACT: CM Punk is on a roll and doing a fantastic job as the WWE Champion. And Daniel Bryan is so hot right now with the fans (YES! YES! YES!) that he doesn't need a title to get himself over. With Punk as the champion and Bryan as the challenger, we're having some fantastic matches that will probably carry us all through the summer months (if we're lucky). And you know what? That suits me just fine. Russell - FACT: All hail CM Punk as the WWE Champion & all hail CM Punk retaining his WWE Championship against Daniel Bryan at Over the Limit...Thank you... Punk is de' man now in the WWE! (5-4) Ric Flair will soon be terminated by TNA and will eventually return to the WWE? Doug - FACT: Ric has been making noise about coming back to the WWE for a while and even said so when he was inducted into the WWE Hall of Fame as a part of the Horsemen a few months ago. And from all reports, TNA is getting tired and fed up with his shenanigans and antics and beginning to realize that while Flair is arguably the greatest all-around wrestling superstar of all times, his behavior isn't really the type you'd want associated with your company. Vince and HHH know and love Flair and will tolerate his stunts. TNA doesn't need to and shouldn't have to. Ric will be gone from that company before long (probably within the year) and welcomed back to the WWE with open arms (and bar tabs). And with daughter Ashley now signed to a developmental deal, we'll have all Flair all the time in the WWE once more. Woooooo! Russell - FACT: Ric Flair has no business bein in TNA period...He needs to leave TNA & return to the WWE in a non-wrestling gig of some kind... Diamonds are forever and so is Ric Flair. Wooooooooo!! (6-4) And there you go. Questions and comments can be sent to Doug28352@yahoo.com. Thanks for reading. We do appreciate it! I'm Doug and speaking on behalf of both myself and Russell, have a great week and don't forget, wrestling is real! Life is what's fake! Take it light. Ubuntu!