Monday Night Raw - 12/15/03
What up Informants, and welcome to the Monday Night Raw recap.
Last night was the Armageddon PPV, so you know that things are going to happen tonite. It's live on Spike TV from Tampa, Florida. I'm Doug M., the resident degenerate and salt tosser, with the recap that tells all the details. Let's get this show rolling. Let's get RAW!
We open with Evolution standing on the ramp. They have all the gold. Randy Orton is the new IC champ. Flair and Batista are the tag champs. And HHH is the World champ. Last night was the night of Evolution. Now, according to HHH, everyone needs to learn the Golden Rule. Evolution has the gold, so they make the rules.
BATTLE OF THE SEXES II
Trish Stratus & Lita versus Christian and Chris Jericho
Chris Jericho doesn't look all that happy as he comes to the ring. Chris and Trish start off. Trish is talking junk and Y2J tags off to Christian. Lita slaps the CLB from the outside. Christian shoves Trish to the mat. Lita in, and Christian gets in a shot. Lita with the roll up and Y2J breaks it up. Chris slams Lita. Christian slams Lita into the turnbuckle. He sets Lita on top, but she fights him off.
A sloppy back elbow off the top. Trish flies with a crossbody for 2. They doubleteam Christian, but he comes back with a double clothesline on the ladies. He covers and pulls Trish up at the 2 count. Christian hits the unprettier on Trish and Y2J has had enough. He pulls Christian off Trish and tells the referee to stop it. Christian is upset, but Chris shoves him aside.
Winners by Referee Stopping the Match: Christian and Chris Jericho
Here comes Eric Bischoff and he's pissed. He ges in Chris's face, and Chris tells him to shut the hell up. Some words are exchanged. Jericho didn't want this match. He calls Eric a stupid S.O.B. Eric is really pissed now, and makes the match for later; Chris Jericho versus Kane. Now, he's got business to handle and calls coGM Mick Foley to the ring. Mick comes out and we get to see a great video spotlighting the "Hardcore Legend" at his finest.
Eric makes a challenge. Mick versus Randy Orton. If Orton wins, Mick is gone. If Mick wins, Eric is gone from RAW. Mick agrees, but the ref is Earl Hebner, plus Evolution and Eric are barred from ringside. And it's a title match as well. Eric agrees. It's the "Legend Killer" versus "The Hardocre Legend" - Winner Takes All.
Next Monday - It's the Best of 2003 on RAW!
CAN YOU DIG IT, SUCKA!
Booker T & Maven versus Mark Henry (with Theodore Long) & Matt Hardy
Matt Fact: Matt always utilizes toliet seat covers.
Maven and Matt to start. Maven starts with fists, kicks, and a dropkick for Matt. Matt fights back, but misses a dive in the corner. Henry hits a "wookieline" from the outside. Henry in, and he just clubs away, tossing Maven from piller to post.
Matt back in and they continue to work over Maven. He keeps trying to fight abck, but to no avail. Finally, hot tag to Booker, and the kicks start flying. Clothesline and forearm to Matt. Henry in the ring - Henry goes out of the ring. A spinebuster and it's Spineroonie time. Maven dives onto Mark Henry outside the ring. Matt goes for the Twist of Fate on Booker, but the Book-man reverses and hits a scissors-kick on Matt to get the pin.
Winners: Booker T & Maven
Coach is in the back. He's going to interview Bill Goldberg. He tries at first, but no luck. He feels disrespected, so he goes into the locker room to confront the former champ. The door closes and we hear the crash-bang-smash noises. Coach comes flying out through the doorway. Goldberg comes out next and steps over Coach, heading to the ring.
La Resistance is in the ring. They trash talk the Rock a little bit and say they are not "fifi". More trash talking about Americans and Mick Foley too. And here comes Bill Goldberg to the ring. Conway meets him on the floor and gets ran over.
In the ring, Goldberg spears Dupree. Here comes Rob and he gets the spear. A jackhammer on Rob. Goldberg gets the French flag and breaks it. It's "God Bless America" as Goldberg gets the American flag and parades around with it. Here comes Eric Bischoff. He calls Goldberg a "loose cannon" and tells him that for injuring the # 1 Announcer and disrupting things. he's "deactivated" for 30 days and off the RAW roster.
JR raises some hell about Eric's decision and then he and the King plug the Orton - Foley match for later tonite.
We see Mick in the back, asking for some advice from the Heartbreak Kid. He has doubts, but HBK offers encouragement and tells him that once you get back in the ring, it's addicting. Foley seems encouraged and Shawn hands him the red flannel shirt.
HANDICAP MATCH
RVD & Shawn Michaels versus Ric Flair, Batista, Triple H (Evolution)
Instead of taking notes, I just sat back and watched this match and enjoyed the action. But I did take notes for the finish. RVD dives on Flair and Batista on the outside of the ring. Triple H and HBK are both face down in the ring. Hunter goes for a pedigree, but Shawn responds with a backdrop. He goes for the kick, but HHH ducks the first time. But not the second, as "sweet chin music" connects and HBK gets the pin.
Winners: RVD and HBK Shawn Michaels.
BODYSLAM OF THE WEEK: From Heat last night, Rico defeated John Heidenreich with a neckbreaker (and a little distraction from Jackie)
Rico (with Miss Jackie) versus John Heidenreich
Rico with a go-behind. John reverses, but Rico bends into it. Clubbering by Heidenreich and a bearhug. Rico hugs back and John gets all upset again. Kicks and a stomp by Rico. Some elbows, a legdrop, and a big grind. He goes to work and gets 2. More fists and the "exotic wannabe" lands a neckbreaker for another 2. Back and forth elbows, and Rico locks in a sleeper. John backs Rico in the corner and slams his way out. A big slam and clothesline. Looks like Johnny is coming back. Miss Jackie grabs John by the head and snaps his neck on the ropes. Rico lands the neckbreaker again and gets the pin.
Winner: Rico w/ Miss Jackie.
Chris Jericho is outside the door of the ladies locker room. He knocks and calls for Trish. She comes out and he asks how she's doing. She calls him an asshole, and says for him not to speak to her again. We then cut to Kane, and he's headed towards the ring.
Chris Jericho versus Kane
Kane in the ring and Jericho runs to the outside. Kane follows, but Chris nails him with a dropkick. Chops by Y2J. Kane slams Jericho. Clotheslines and fists. Kane lands a backdrop and chokes Chris for a little while. Chris fights back with chops and a droptoehold on the Big Red Machine. Missle dropkick by Y2J and he gets a 1 count. Bulldog and lionsault by Jericho. Kane with a clothesline and a slam. He tosses Jericho to the floor and follows him out. Chris gets the chair and nails Kane in front of the referee. Ref calls for the bell. Winner by DQ: Kane
Kane isn't through. He lands a kick and ties Jericho to the "tree of woe". Using a cable, Kane chokes Jericho. A big chokeslam for good measure and Kane leaves the ring.
Here comes Christian to check on his friend. He helps Jericho up, and then shoves him to the mat - a replay for what Jericho did to him earlier tonite. Christian leaves and Jericho looks lost.
Earlier today, some WWE Superstars paid a visit to the US Central Command in Tampa, Florida. We get to see some soldiers gathered in the ringside area.
Eric is in his office. Here comes Randy Orton. Eric gives him some strategy advice, and then uses some psychology to fire the "Legend Killer" up. We see Mick headed for the ring. Everyone is wishing him luck. He tells HBK that in 2 weeks on RAW, he gets a title shot against HHH. The Dudleys want a rematch so they can get their titles back. Sure thing.
WINNER TAKE ALL - INTERCONTINENTIAL CHAMPIONSHIP MATCH
"Hardcore Legend" MIck Foley versus "Legend Killer" Randy Orton
Foley comes out and stays on the floor. Lot's of stalling . He seems to be psyching himself up. He goes around the ring and up the ramp to the back. Orton follows. Mick goes into his office and gets his bags. He's leaving. Here comes Eric Bischoff. He verbally attacks Mick and tells him he doesn't wrestle, he's gone forever. Foley keeps walking. Orton gets in his face. What about the match? Mick is ready to cry. Orton mocks him - "Legends don't cry. Legends don't walk away." - and he calls Mick a coward. Orton spits on Mick. Mick wipes off the spit and keeps on walking.
A good show. Nothing really special until the end. What is up with Mick Foley? I like that Rico is getting a push. He deserves it. Goldberg is "deactivated". Well he's going to Japan to take care of some committments for Zero One, so that's OK. Y2J is turning face, slowly but surely. And HBK is truly a legend, an icon, and the "main event".
Next week, instead of a live RAW, we get the "Best of 2003". It should be good. In two weeks, it's HBK versus HHH for the World Championship. I guess that does it for tonite. I'm Doug M. I'm going to bed, so have a good night, and take it light.
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