Hobbes sat staring at his computer screen.
"Damn it! I have the desire to write, but I'm just not coming up with anything."
"It sucks, doesn't it?", a voice came from behind him.
Hobbes turned around and standing there is WWE Superstar, The Miz.
"Hey Miz, what are you doing here?", Hobbes asked.
"Well, I'm not here actually", Miz replied. "I'm just a figment of your slightly deranged imagination."
"Lucky me", Hobbes replied. "So why you?"
"Because you only write about three things", Miz replied. "Wrestling, comic book heroes and vampires!"
"That's not true", Hobbes shot back. "I write fairy tales too."
"Let's leave your sex life out of it", Miz smirked. "You're a semi-talented writer who relies far too often on certain crutches. You're having a block right now so you fall back on the same old things."
"That doesn't explain why you're here, Miz?", Hobbes said.
"Well, I heard that you fixed Tater Tot Casserole", Miz replied. "And being the most must-see performer in WWE history makes a guy hungry."
"So you're hungry? That's why you're here?", Hobbes asked.
"And also, because I'm the Miz... and I'm AWESOME!", Miz smirked.
"Get the heck over it", Hobbes shot back. "But you're right. I do need to get my groove back and expand a bit. After all, not everyone likes wrestling or super heroes."
"And don't forget those creepy vampires!", Miz remarked. "I still remember the last time I appeared in one of your fics. You had that vampire try to attack me."
"Because you were being annoying", Hobbes shot back. "Like now!"
"He kept trying to give me a hickey", Miz rambled on. "And that just wasn't cool!"
"So what's your point, Miz? Why are you here?", Hobbes asked.
"Well, it was either me or Hogan", Miz answered. "And I know you've been stressing a lot as of late. Hogan is only good at creating stress. Not helping to relieve it."
"I heard that, brutha", Hulk Hogan shouted in from off-story.
"Oh geez", Hobbes sighed. "Why did you have to bring his name up? He's like Beetlejuice. Say his name and he never goes away!"
"Whatcha gonna do when the power of Hulkamania runs wild on you!", Hogan shouted from off-story.
"See what I mean?", Hobbes told The Miz.
"I'll go get rid of Hogan", Miz said. "I need to go get ready for RAW tonight anyhow. But you need to lighten up, my friend or you're going to crack up and explode."
"I'm fine", Hobbes sighed.
"No, you're not", Miz said. "Your last two posts have been a survey and a recap of TNA. Nobody in their right mind watches TNA Impact."
"It's called Impact Wrestling now", Hobbes reminded the Miz.
"It's called sucks ass", Miz rebutted. "All those great wrestlers and great talent at TNA, but they still put Hogan and Bischoff and Kennedy in the spotlight."
"Kind of like WWE does with Orton and Cena, right?", Hobbes added.
"Well, I've got to go", Miz said. "And I'll take Hogan with me. Maybe he'll give me Brooke's phone number."
"Give him a dollar and he'll do it", Hobbes smiled.
"She's not worth that much", Miz shrugged. "I'm out of here for now so let me do my catch-phrase!"
"Go ahead", Hobbes said.
"I'm the Miz.. and I'm AWESOME!", Miz shouted. "I'll be back later after RAW for a bowl of that Tater Tot Casserole."
"I'll save you a bowl", Hobbes replied.
And with that, The Miz and Hulk Hogan were gone.
"So I'm still here writing a story and I'm kind of rambling" Hobbes thought to himself. "Too bad I can't finish those fics I've started?"
"You'll finish them in your own time", a voice rang out.
"Here we go again", Hobbes sighed as he turned around. "Look everyone. It's Mr. Rogers!"
"Hi neighbor. How are you", Mr. Rogers smiled.
"Please don't smile. You creep me out", Hobbes replied. "So why are you here?"
"It's a beautiful day in the neighborhood and I wanted to spend it with my good friend... with you!"
"You're dead!", Hobbes said.'
"But this is your story and your imagination. It's just like the Land of Make-Believe.", Mr. Rogers replied.
"You're dead!", Hobbes repeated.
"As long as my memory is in your heart, I can never truly die", Mr. Rogers answered.
"I need to start drinking again", Hobbes replied. "Kill those brain cells and destroy those memories."
"Now why would you want to do that, neighbor?", Mr. Rogers asked as he smiled at Hobbes.
"I warned you about the smiling", Hobbes shuddered. "Creepy!"
"Do you want to talk about it?", Mr. Rogers asked.
"Talk about what?", Hobbes said.
"You're under a lot of stress lately. You're not working. You can't find a job. You're having medical problems. And your Mom drives you crazy!"
"Yeah, things suck a bit right now. I turn in hundreds of applications and never hear anything back except for false promises and excuses. Money is tight and I'm ready to snap sometimes."
"And don't forget that you can't be with the person you love", Mr. Rogers added.
"You're not helping, old man", Hobbes said.
"Listen to me. It's going to be okay", Mr. Rogers said. "You'll find a job eventually. And it might take some time, but one day, you and your friend will be back together."
"What about Mom driving me crazy?", Hobbes asked.
"You're on your own there", Mr. Rogers said quickly.
"So let's wrap this up, okay?", Hobbes said.
"If you insist", Mr. Rogers said. "I have to get to a block party over at Sesame Street anyways."
"Now that is creepy", Hobbes said.
"It's your fic so blame only yourself", Mr. Rogers replied. "If you weren't too cheap to spring for a real shrink instead of self-analyzing yourself with these dumb stories."
"Hey!", Hobbes shouted.
"Just stating the obvious", Mr. Rogers replied.
"Who asked you?", Hobbes said.
Mr. Rogers just glared at Hobbes.
"Okay, let's end this", Hobbes said wearily. "What do you have to say?"
"Just that you're special. Don't ever forget it!", Mr. Rogers said.
"Is that it?", Hobbes asked.
"Well, that and do you have any of that Tater Tot Casserole left?"
"I'll get you a bowl", Hobbes sighed.
"Get me two bowls", Mr. Rogers said. "I want to take some to Mr. Hooper."
"But he's dead too", Hobbes said.
"And?", Mr. Rogers replied.
"Never mind", Hobbes said. "I'll go fix your bowls right now."
THE END!!
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