Station manager Andy Travis is sitting in his office talking to Program Director Bailey Quarters.
"So we've got to get some new talent hired for the on-air talent soon", Andy said. "Johnny is old and, I believe getting senile. And Venus keeps getting offers from all around the country. I'm surprised that he's stayed here this long."
"Johnny isn't senile", Bailey laughed. "He isn't any worse than he was when he started here at the station."
"Oh yeah", Andy smiled.
"And Venus isn't going anywhere. He's stayed here this long, hasn't he? And he has that great syndication deal."
"That syndication deal is all that keeps WKRP afloat", Andy said. "Well, that and regular donations from Jennifer."
"How does that work exactly?", Bailey asked.
"Well, since Jennifer inherited that billion dollar fortune from that oil man down in Texas, she decided to allocate a certain amount each year to keep the station alive", Andy explained.
"And all we have to do is have one day a year in honor of Mr. Carlson", Bailey smiled. "We would do that anyhow."
"You know that and I know that", Andy said. "And Jennifer knows that too. But the money she provides, along with the deal syndicating Venus's show, keeps us able to stay on the air and compete."
"So we need to find some new on-air talent?", Bailey asked.
"We do", Andy said. "We need some new fresh talent to fill in and keep the ratings up when Johnny and Venus are not on the air."
"Well, Les still wants an hour of talk-news to do each day. Maybe that would help spike the ratings?", Bailey suggested.
"Yeah", Andy agreed. "Straight down. Les is the head of the news department. He runs the department and those new kids, Charlie and Shelley, handle the real work. Let's just keep him there."
"Well, he's getting a little antsy", Bailey remarked. "He wants to get back on the air."
"I'll speak to him", Andy said. "Now what are your ideas about new on-air personalities?"
"I've put ads in the local papers and on the internet", Bailey answered. "I'm holding open auditions."
"Are you sure that's smart?", Andy said. "Wouldn't you be better off to just request tapes and resumes? Open auditions bring out the crazies."
"It'll be fun", Bailey said. "And Johnny said he'll help me."
"Good luck", Andy said. "Do it and try to get us two or three good talents, okay?"
"We can do it!", Bailey smiled.
"Okay, I've got to get back to work", Andy laughed. "Sales meeting with Herb in fifteen minutes."
"I thought you hated those sales meetings with Herb?", Bailey asked.
"I do", Andy sighed. "But they make him happy and it gives me an idea of what he's up to."
"Plus Jennifer asked you to keep him around and be nice to him", Bailey smirked.
"That too", Andy sighed.
"Have fun then" Bailey laughed. "I'll go talk to Johnny so we're on the same page when we have the auditions."
Bailey walked out of the office as Andy sat back in his chair.
"Open auditions? That should be a hoot!", he laughed to himself. "Better Bailey and Johnny than me."
Andy leaned over and hit the speaker sitting on his desk, calling to the receptionist.
"When Herb gets here, send him in", Andy told his receptionist. And then leaning back in his chair, he laughed to himself once more.
"Open auditions? Geez!"
**
A few days later, at a local motel, Bailey is waiting in a rented meeting room going over notes. The applicants for the open on-air positions at WKRP had gathered outside in the waiting area. Dr. Johnny Fever came rushing into the room, slamming the door behind him.
"Hi Johnny", Bailey said as he entered.
"Have you seen the crowd out there", Johnny said. "I tried to walk through and they nearly tore me apart."
"Is it that crowded?", Bailey asked, worriedly.
"It's insane", Johnny said. "There is no way we're going to be able to interview everybody in that crowd!"
"But we have to", Bailey said. "We need to find at least two new on-air talents to help back up you and Venus."
"That crowd out there belongs in the circus. Not on the radio", Johnny remarked.
"I'll go out and talk to them and get everyone to behave in an orderly fashion", Bailey said.
"No", Johnny said. "They'll tear you apart! Send someone else."
"Who", Bailey asked.
"Hello Johnny. Hello Bailey", a voice came from the back of the room as a small man wearing a bowtie and glasses walked into the room through the back door.
"Hi Les", both Bailey and Johnny responded at the same time.
"What are you doing here, Les?", Johnny asked the WKRP News Director.
"Well, new personalities for the station is big news", Les said. "I wanted to cover it myself."
"Andy threw you out of the station?", Bailey asked.
"Well... yes", Les admitted. "That too!"
"Les", Johnny said, putting his arm around the newsman's shoulder. "Do you want to help us out?"
"Of course, Johnny", Les said with a big smile.
"Go out there in that room and have those people waiting to audition sit down and wait quietly until we can interview them one by one", Johnny asked.
"Is that all", Les asked. "I'll whip them into shape and get everyone ready. I'll tell them about my six consecutive Silver Sow awards."
"Go for it Les", Johnny said.
Les walked out of the room and into the lobby.
"That was just plain wrong", Bailey told Johnny.
"Better him than us", Johnny said.
Suddenly the door flew open and Les came running back into the room. The sleeves had been torn from his jacket and his glasses were twisted on his pain contorted face.
"Those people are animals", Les screamed.
"Les? What happened", Bailey asked.
"I went out there and told that crowd to listen up and that we were going to get organized so you could start the auditions. But they just started moving up on me closer and closer. They had blood in their eyes!"
"I'm sure it wasn't that bad Les", Johnny said.
"Blood in their eyes, Johnny!", Les said.
"Are you okay", Bailey asked.
"I think I'm going to go over there and sit down", Les said with a heavy sigh.
Bailey and Johnny watched as the battered newsman walked to the back of the room and sat down, collapsing into a chair.
"So now what do we do?", Bailey asked Johnny. "That crowd is going to eat us alive."
Johnny reached into his pocket and pulled out his cell phone.
"I think it's time we called in the big guns!", he said.
"Who?", Bailey asked. "The police? The National Guard?"
"Nope", Johnny said. "Someone with more power and influence than that."
Johnny put the phone to his ear.
"Hello! Jennifer?"
**
A short time later, Bailey, Johnny and Les were holding the door shut as screaming applicants pushed against the door trying to get inside.
"Andy was right", Bailey sighed. "This was a bad idea!"
"You think?", Johnny yelled.
"We won't be able to hold them much longer", Les said frightenedly. "They'll tear us apart!"
"Wait a minute", Bailey said. "Do you hear that?"
"What?", Johnny asked. "I don't hear anything!"
"It's gotten very quiet out there", Les agreed. "The calm before the storm. We're doomed!"
"You're right", Johnny said. "It has gotten quiet."
Suddenly, there was a knock on the door. Bailey, Les and Johnny all jumped in fear.
Another knock and the door opened. Les let out a high pitched scream as Bailey and Johnny grabbed each other and lept under the table, preparing for the onslaught of prospective applicants.
"Hello", a soft voice said.
"What?", Johnny asked. "We're not dead?"
"No Johnny, you're not dead", the soft voice spoke once more.
Johnny looked up and opened his eyes.
"Hi Jennifer", he smiled. "I wasn't frightened, by the way. I knew we weren't dead!"
"I know", Jennifer smiled. "Hello Les. Hello Bailey."
"Jennifer?", Les said. "I am so glad to see you!"
"What happened to the crazy crowd out there", Bailey asked. "How did you get through without getting ripped apart?"
Jennifer smiled.
"I just told them to be quiet and we'd get to them as soon as we could."
"I tried that and they nearly tore me apart", Les said.
"But you're not Jennifer", Johnny said with a knowing smile.
"No... you're not", Jennifer smiled.
"Well, I guess we'd better get to work and start the interviews", Bailey said. "Is everyone ready?"
"That depends", Johnny said. "Are you staying here, Jennifer... for the interviews?"
"Of course", Jennifer smiled.
"Thank God!", Les muttered.
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