Shadow Man (Poem)

I feel lonely
I feel empty
I feel like a stranger
to my own life and soul

it's like I died
but no one bothered to let me know
and I'm just a drifting soul
trapped and twisted
by a force that can't be seen

I shouldn't feel this way
I have friends
I have family
I have a lover
who I love more than I ever thought possible

but I still just exist
my body and heart have gone numb
and even pain would be a relief right now
I just feel...

that's just the problem
I don't feel anything
just alone
so very much alone

I don't know why
I don't care why
I just want it to end

I want to be happy
I want to be sad
I want to be angry
I want to be relieved
I just want to be real
I want to be me

I feel lonely
and I feel empty
I'm just a stranger
all alone with no place to go
I'm just a shadow of a man
pretending to be me

5-31-09