Triple Threat Movie Review - June 15, 2012

Tossing Salt Triple-Threat Movie Review June 15, 2012 Well, I was supposed to be at a session with my therapist right now, but she called me last night and left a message on the machine. After just one (1) previous session, she's leaving her position and going to another job. Translated: That dude is freakin' nuts and I can't deal with him - let me gets the hell out of here! No, not really (I don't think). She got a chance for another job with another company and it's a better position with more money so she's correct in going for it. It's merely a coincidence that her last day just happened to fall on the same day as my appointment and that this was the day we were supposed to do the "deep revelations" and really get into my background in an attempt to find out what my problems are. It's all just a coincidence. (Yeah, right!) Or is it? Regardless of why she's dumping me to the curb, I've ended up with a few free minutes of time before I have to head out and do the most dastardly and evil, nasty act in the history of man... I have to go to... Wal-Mart. I need drinks and an ink cartridge for my printer. And cat treats. Can't forget the cat treats or else my "damn cat" will most definitely make me forget it. But that's in a little while, after my hair dries and I decide what pair of flip flops and socks to wear. (I've always heard that a person should dress appropiately for his enviroment and for Wally-World, flip flops and socks, torn jean shorts and an "I'm With Stupid" t-shirt seems most appropiate. Unfortunately, I don't have the latter two items so I'll have to improvise. Maybe I can find my pajama pants and a sweat shirt to wear? Hmmmm! I think I've gotten off track. Yeah, that happens sometimes. I got distracted by the young man who lives across the street. He doesn't like me (I don't think) and is even more anti-social than I am (imagine that), but damn it, he's a sexy dude. Would love to be able to strike up a friendship (with benefits) with that guy. I love his hair and the whole attitude thing. It's HOT! Did I mention that I won ten dollars ($10) on a $1 scratch-off ticket yesterday morning. I had an urge / compulsion to waste a buck and bought one "Amazing 8's" ticket and do my part to support the (crooked) NC Lottery system. And I scratched and I won ten bucks. Yay me! Okay, so about last night. I left work at 11:15pm and was stressed out / tired. I decided to stop by the Red Box machine and get a couple of movies to watch and wind down with. And since I'm not working today and have a few minutes of free time, I've decided to do some quick, Cliffnote style reviews of those same three movies. I picked some doozies to be sure, but they seemed good at the time. So now I'm finally back on track and ready to do some movie reviews. Let's do this. Movie # 1 was "Abe Lincoln versus Zombies". I knew from the title and cover that it would either be really good or really bad. And though it started off well enough, it quickly proved that it wasn't really all that. I liked the civil war outfits and the dude playing Abe Lincoln was pretty cool even though he had a whiney, nasal-filled voice that made him sound and look like a dweeb. The zombies were a great example of what can be done with little make-up and (I guess) next to no budget as they were kind of cool too. But the story-line was non-existent and if it did exist, I lost track almost immediately. Maybe this movie would be better if I was drunk or on drugs... lots and lots of drugs, but it just didn't do anything for me and was a waste of time. Love the title and the concept on the movie, but it just didn't work. Maybe the sequal (Barack Obama versus Dracula) will be better? Movie # 2 was "The Smurfs". And guess what. Despite bringing back all sorts of childhood trauma from watching that dastardly cartoon all those years ago, and despite the fact that the "Smurf song" (La La La La La La - La La La La La) is stuck in my head, I actually liked it. It's Neil Patrick Harris and a bunch of computer generated blue thingys running around and being cute. It's a cute little harmless movie and was even entertaining at points. You haven't lived until you see N.P.H. and the Smurfs playing Guitar Hero and singing the Run DMC version of "Walk This Way". Would I recommend this movie to anyone? Not really because it's not really the type of movie that a person should admit to liking or enjoying or else you'll be advised to go see a therapist. But hell, I'm already seeing a therapist (or was until she abandoned me) so I can sit back and enjoy it with no reprocussions or major brain damage. Anything with Neil Patrick Harris is generally going to be good and this is no exception. It's not for everyone, but I liked it. Lord shoot me now! And finally, the # 3 movie I watched was "Cowboys versus Aliens". And even though I don't particularly care for cowboy movies or sci-fi movies (I like super heroes - not space ships), I liked it. It was well written, well acted and the movie actually made sense (about as much sense as cowboys fighting martians possibly can anyhow). Again, this movie isn't for everyone, but it moved along fairly quickly and I didn't get bored (which is pretty amazing in itself). So if you want to spend a few mindless hours just watchig a movie and escaping from the real world for a little while, this Sci-Fi Western might just be the way to go. By the way, the reference to the movie "Barack Obama versus Dracula" earlier is just something I made up. It doens't exist, but if I get really bored one afternoon, who knows? It eventually might... lol. And I guess that's all for now. My hair is nearly dry and I need to go ahead and get that pleasant shopping experience that is Wally-World over with. And when I'm finished there, I'll come home and give myself an enema with Drano and a plunger... which would probably be just about as much fun. OUCH!! I just pictured that mage in my head. Hmmmmm! Maybe not! So there you go. My movie reviews for three movies I watched last night / today after work. Hope you liked it. And now, I'm headed out. Wish me luck at the Hell-Mouth. I'm gonna need it. Ubuntu!