Tossing Salt - Worldwide News (Is RAW)
September 25, 2007
Doug Maynard
I watched WWE Monday Night Raw last night for the first time in a month. I was thinking of doing a full recap, but that is far more detailed and complicated than I want to take it right now. So I decided to just write down my random thoughts of the show as the evening progressed. Sounds like fun, right?
They're coming live from Milwaukee, WI. I should have gotten drunk first. Or bought some beer so I could get drunk while watching the show. It might make things better. At least I'd feel better.
King Booker is still in the opening video montage. That's cool! So there is still hope that the exiled ruler from the Kingdom of Smackdown will one day return and vanquish the pretenders to his throne and re-establish his royal legacy. All Hail King Booker!
No sign of Snitsky in the opening montage though. Or anywhere else for that matter? Have he been sucked into another dimension? Is he watching the baby for Steph and Hunter while they're busy destroying, I mean "creating" superstars on RAW? Where is Snitsky? One thing is for sure though. Wherever he is, it isn't his fault!
The show opens with Coach and then video racapping the entire Cena - Orton - Cena Sr. situation. Wow, so this is all I've missed over the past month? Nice of the WWE Production guys to being me up to speed. I'm already bored.
Mr. Cena sells moves better than his son does. I'd love to see Mr. Cena become the "manager" of Randy Orton. That would be awesome. Coach says that Orton is "suspended indefinitely" for using handcuffs. I know a lot of people who might get in trouble if that's the case.
Vince comes down and he goes on a HHH rant. He mentions the main event of HHH versus Carlito and makes it into a handicap match with himself as Carlito's partner. Can you smell the ratings jump? No, I can't either.
I'll give Vince credit - he can talk and sells the match as a big time event. Vince guarentees a win for himself and the walking Ch-Ch-Ch-Chia Pet.
Vince calls out Hornswaggle and they have a "Hallmark moment". Crowd pops big for the mini-me McMahon. Vince and Horny love each other. That's so sweet!
Vince gives Horny his very own whore. Nope, that's just Melina dressed like a whore. But she's color coordinated with Horny. Just a few months ago, she was the Women's Champ and a major player. Look at her now. Sad!
Horny gets all horny and jumps all over Melina... literally. Funny!
Melina and Horny leave for their "date" - Vince reminds them to use protection. Please do - can you imagine what that love child would look like?
Coach wants to be the permanent General Manager of RAW. Regal returns next week. I sense a Regal - Coach match coming up. General Manager on a Pole match. Yay!
More talking by Vince and Coach and here comes John Cena. Coach warns Cena if he touches Vince or Coach, he'll be stripped of the WWE Title. Cena naturally attacks and sends the two "authority figures" bailing to the floor.
Why do the fake security guys all look like Smackdown referees?
Vince says it's up to Coach to strip Cena of the title. Then he gets confused and announces a ceremony of sorts for title stripping.
It's simple to me - Cena was told if he attacked, he'd be stripped of the title - but then he attacks and it's up to Coach. They said they'd strip him - so strip him already. Geez! Show some consistency.
We're 20 minutes into the show already and it's nothing but talk and blah segments. Where is the wrestling? I hope it gets better.
First match - Cody Rhodes versus Hardcore Holly. The crowd was not into this match and restless.
Cody worked on Holly's arm, but not the one that was wrapped and had been injured. That's not smart wrestling.
Holly won clean with an Alabama Slam in what was a lame match. These two have no chemistry together at all.
I guess Cody's push is over. I wonder who Dusty pissed off?
The fact that I'm still awake is amazing to me.
It's the Diva Search on WWE.com. Check it out. Better on the net than on the TV.
Fathead.com. They're cool. I wonder if I can get a life-sized Juvi?
Since Orton is suspended (actually to get married, from what I've read), let's give him a 4-minute video spot to cut a promo. Sounds right to me.
Orton blabs on and on and on. Cena is a sham. Orton will get revenge. Blah! Blah! Blah! But he's intense and comes across as sincere in his evil intents.
The second match of the night after 48 minutes is Ron Simmons taking on Santino Marella (with Maria).
Maria looks like a slut tonight.
The match is awful.
Santino flees to the back and takes Maria with him.
Ron gets the mic and echoes my feelings for the entire show thus far with the always awesome "Damn!"
Ron did his best move of the night with a flip over the top rope when leaving the ring. Why couldn't he be that graceful and coordinated DURING the match?
It's almost time for "The Family Guy" to come on over at TBS.
Diva Limbo! Yay!
Jillian Hall is huge. At least she's not singing tonight. She talks trash about Hornswaggle and smells Melina's breasts. Seriously, she really did. Melina says that she's only with Horny because Coach promised her a shot at the Women's Championship.
We see the Highlanders hanging out with Cade / Murdoch. Highlanders want a title shot and flash / moon the Brokeback Cowboy Connection in their efforts to get a match. This is so lame. Trevor looks interested though.
The cage is down - it's time for the main event of an awful show. I guess they need to wake the crowd up. HHH comes down and the crowd comes alive. Carlito and Vince are out next. Look at Vince... I think we know who doesn't get tested by WWE Wellness...
Match is OK for what it was. I think Vince legit hurt himself when he did the crotch-drop on the top rope. He slid right off and landed awkwardly. This is a man who suffered two torn quads by walking to the ring a few years ago - he's just asking for serious injury by taking those bumps.
Two on one worked. Carlito kept HHH busy long enough to allow Vince to escape the cage and win the match.
HHH keeps his heat by totally destroying Carlito and any potential rub he may have gotten from this match and being on the winning team.
It's 10:17 and only three matches so far. What does that middle "W" in WWE stand for anyhow?
Finally some good action as The B.C.C. (Cade & Murdoch) take on The Hooligans.
Kendricks has come a long way since his "Spanky" days. He still looks like a 14 year old kid though.
The Highlanders attack the Hooligans and the match is over before it really gets started. Lame!
Horny creeps around in the Diva showers and gets an eyeful of Melina. He chases her around and steals her towel. That crazy kid!
Vince brags to Coach. Coach tells Vince that HHH is looking for him and then leaves. Vince is ready to leave now and starts throwing his clothes into a bag.
"The Condemned" is now out on DVD. Austin and his co-stars plug the movie. Santino Marella talks junk. I sense a stunner in the future of Mr. Marella.
HHH confronts Vince and we have a match next week. That's when Umaga returns from his "injuries" that were "caused by HHH". Coincidence? Probably not!
It's Jeff Hardy and Candice Michelle taking on Jillian Hall & Shelton Benjamin next.
Candice is the hometown hero. She's going to lose.
The crowd really pops for Jeff Hardy. They love those Hardy Boys.
Jeff and Candice have glow sticks. That's pretty cool!
Not a bad match.
Jillian is just plain huge. I'd love to see her take on Victoria in a one-on-one match.
Over on Family Guy, Peter is smoking crack so he can quit drinking. And Stewie has gone into the "Mine" phase of baby-hood. I love that show.
I was right - Candice does the J.O.B.
Coach talks to the fake press. Where are the questions that matter? What about OJ? The world wants to know!
Coach and the security guys are in the ring and call out John Cena. He has to beg to keep his title. I don't think so.
A ref comes out and tells Lillian Garcia that "by order of Mr. MacMahon", Cena will not be stripped of his title and there will be one more match for the night with Cena versus Coach in a "Tables Match".
I'll admit, I was baffled. What is Vince doing?
Cena beats up Coach with an S.T.F.U. and then an F.U. through the conveniently placed table in the ring to win the "match".
Hornswaggle McMahon comes out on the ramp and Cena says, "Thank you, Mr. McMahon!"
Oh, that makes sense.
And it's funny!
So that was RAW. Boy, I'm, so sorry I haven't been watching lately. The show is just awesome!
Yeah, that was sarcasm.
The first hour totally sucked. The second hour was OK, but it had a lot to accomplish to make up for the crappy first hour. Did it do it? I don't think so.
The stuff with Horny was good... and the cage match was solid. Nothing great, but OK.
And the rest of the show?
I'm just glad that Family Guy was on the other channel for occasional glimpses of good TV. If it wasn't for wanting to do this recap, I would have turned the channel entirely and just passed on the wrestling.
Yeah, it's gotten that bad.
At least next week, the suspensions will be over and we'll get to see stars like Mr. Kennedy, William Regal, Umaga, etc. all make their return. It'll have to get better. It can't get much worse.
Well, that's RAW and that's enough from me for now anyhow, but I'll be back.
I'm Doug and I'm gone!
Questions and comments - send to Doug28352@yahoo.com. Visit me at MySpace at www.myspace.com/salt_palace.
Until the next time - Ubuntu
Friday, September 30, 2011
(Retro) Tossing Salt - Worldwide News (Is RAW) - September 25, 2007
Tossing Salt - Worldwide News (Is RAW)
September 25, 2007
Doug Maynard
I watched WWE Monday Night Raw last night for the first time in a month. I was thinking of doing a full recap, but that is far more detailed and complicated than I want to take it right now. So I decided to just write down my random thoughts of the show as the evening progressed. Sounds like fun, right?
They're coming live from Milwaukee, WI. I should have gotten drunk first. Or bought some beer so I could get drunk while watching the show. It might make things better. At least I'd feel better.
King Booker is still in the opening video montage. That's cool! So there is still hope that the exiled ruler from the Kingdom of Smackdown will one day return and vanquish the pretenders to his throne and re-establish his royal legacy. All Hail King Booker!
No sign of Snitsky in the opening montage though. Or anywhere else for that matter? Have he been sucked into another dimension? Is he watching the baby for Steph and Hunter while they're busy destroying, I mean "creating" superstars on RAW? Where is Snitsky? One thing is for sure though. Wherever he is, it isn't his fault!
The show opens with Coach and then video racapping the entire Cena - Orton - Cena Sr. situation. Wow, so this is all I've missed over the past month? Nice of the WWE Production guys to being me up to speed. I'm already bored.
Mr. Cena sells moves better than his son does. I'd love to see Mr. Cena become the "manager" of Randy Orton. That would be awesome. Coach says that Orton is "suspended indefinitely" for using handcuffs. I know a lot of people who might get in trouble if that's the case.
Vince comes down and he goes on a HHH rant. He mentions the main event of HHH versus Carlito and makes it into a handicap match with himself as Carlito's partner. Can you smell the ratings jump? No, I can't either.
I'll give Vince credit - he can talk and sells the match as a big time event. Vince guarentees a win for himself and the walking Ch-Ch-Ch-Chia Pet.
Vince calls out Hornswaggle and they have a "Hallmark moment". Crowd pops big for the mini-me McMahon. Vince and Horny love each other. That's so sweet!
Vince gives Horny his very own whore. Nope, that's just Melina dressed like a whore. But she's color coordinated with Horny. Just a few months ago, she was the Women's Champ and a major player. Look at her now. Sad!
Horny gets all horny and jumps all over Melina... literally. Funny!
Melina and Horny leave for their "date" - Vince reminds them to use protection. Please do - can you imagine what that love child would look like?
Coach wants to be the permanent General Manager of RAW. Regal returns next week. I sense a Regal - Coach match coming up. General Manager on a Pole match. Yay!
More talking by Vince and Coach and here comes John Cena. Coach warns Cena if he touches Vince or Coach, he'll be stripped of the WWE Title. Cena naturally attacks and sends the two "authority figures" bailing to the floor.
Why do the fake security guys all look like Smackdown referees?
Vince says it's up to Coach to strip Cena of the title. Then he gets confused and announces a ceremony of sorts for title stripping.
It's simple to me - Cena was told if he attacked, he'd be stripped of the title - but then he attacks and it's up to Coach. They said they'd strip him - so strip him already. Geez! Show some consistency.
We're 20 minutes into the show already and it's nothing but talk and blah segments. Where is the wrestling? I hope it gets better.
First match - Cody Rhodes versus Hardcore Holly. The crowd was not into this match and restless.
Cody worked on Holly's arm, but not the one that was wrapped and had been injured. That's not smart wrestling.
Holly won clean with an Alabama Slam in what was a lame match. These two have no chemistry together at all.
I guess Cody's push is over. I wonder who Dusty pissed off?
The fact that I'm still awake is amazing to me.
It's the Diva Search on WWE.com. Check it out. Better on the net than on the TV.
Fathead.com. They're cool. I wonder if I can get a life-sized Juvi?
Since Orton is suspended (actually to get married, from what I've read), let's give him a 4-minute video spot to cut a promo. Sounds right to me.
Orton blabs on and on and on. Cena is a sham. Orton will get revenge. Blah! Blah! Blah! But he's intense and comes across as sincere in his evil intents.
The second match of the night after 48 minutes is Ron Simmons taking on Santino Marella (with Maria).
Maria looks like a slut tonight.
The match is awful.
Santino flees to the back and takes Maria with him.
Ron gets the mic and echoes my feelings for the entire show thus far with the always awesome "Damn!"
Ron did his best move of the night with a flip over the top rope when leaving the ring. Why couldn't he be that graceful and coordinated DURING the match?
It's almost time for "The Family Guy" to come on over at TBS.
Diva Limbo! Yay!
Jillian Hall is huge. At least she's not singing tonight. She talks trash about Hornswaggle and smells Melina's breasts. Seriously, she really did. Melina says that she's only with Horny because Coach promised her a shot at the Women's Championship.
We see the Highlanders hanging out with Cade / Murdoch. Highlanders want a title shot and flash / moon the Brokeback Cowboy Connection in their efforts to get a match. This is so lame. Trevor looks interested though.
The cage is down - it's time for the main event of an awful show. I guess they need to wake the crowd up. HHH comes down and the crowd comes alive. Carlito and Vince are out next. Look at Vince... I think we know who doesn't get tested by WWE Wellness...
Match is OK for what it was. I think Vince legit hurt himself when he did the crotch-drop on the top rope. He slid right off and landed awkwardly. This is a man who suffered two torn quads by walking to the ring a few years ago - he's just asking for serious injury by taking those bumps.
Two on one worked. Carlito kept HHH busy long enough to allow Vince to escape the cage and win the match.
HHH keeps his heat by totally destroying Carlito and any potential rub he may have gotten from this match and being on the winning team.
It's 10:17 and only three matches so far. What does that middle "W" in WWE stand for anyhow?
Finally some good action as The B.C.C. (Cade & Murdoch) take on The Hooligans.
Kendricks has come a long way since his "Spanky" days. He still looks like a 14 year old kid though.
The Highlanders attack the Hooligans and the match is over before it really gets started. Lame!
Horny creeps around in the Diva showers and gets an eyeful of Melina. He chases her around and steals her towel. That crazy kid!
Vince brags to Coach. Coach tells Vince that HHH is looking for him and then leaves. Vince is ready to leave now and starts throwing his clothes into a bag.
"The Condemned" is now out on DVD. Austin and his co-stars plug the movie. Santino Marella talks junk. I sense a stunner in the future of Mr. Marella.
HHH confronts Vince and we have a match next week. That's when Umaga returns from his "injuries" that were "caused by HHH". Coincidence? Probably not!
It's Jeff Hardy and Candice Michelle taking on Jillian Hall & Shelton Benjamin next.
Candice is the hometown hero. She's going to lose.
The crowd really pops for Jeff Hardy. They love those Hardy Boys.
Jeff and Candice have glow sticks. That's pretty cool!
Not a bad match.
Jillian is just plain huge. I'd love to see her take on Victoria in a one-on-one match.
Over on Family Guy, Peter is smoking crack so he can quit drinking. And Stewie has gone into the "Mine" phase of baby-hood. I love that show.
I was right - Candice does the J.O.B.
Coach talks to the fake press. Where are the questions that matter? What about OJ? The world wants to know!
Coach and the security guys are in the ring and call out John Cena. He has to beg to keep his title. I don't think so.
A ref comes out and tells Lillian Garcia that "by order of Mr. MacMahon", Cena will not be stripped of his title and there will be one more match for the night with Cena versus Coach in a "Tables Match".
I'll admit, I was baffled. What is Vince doing?
Cena beats up Coach with an S.T.F.U. and then an F.U. through the conveniently placed table in the ring to win the "match".
Hornswaggle McMahon comes out on the ramp and Cena says, "Thank you, Mr. McMahon!"
Oh, that makes sense.
And it's funny!
So that was RAW. Boy, I'm, so sorry I haven't been watching lately. The show is just awesome!
Yeah, that was sarcasm.
The first hour totally sucked. The second hour was OK, but it had a lot to accomplish to make up for the crappy first hour. Did it do it? I don't think so.
The stuff with Horny was good... and the cage match was solid. Nothing great, but OK.
And the rest of the show?
I'm just glad that Family Guy was on the other channel for occasional glimpses of good TV. If it wasn't for wanting to do this recap, I would have turned the channel entirely and just passed on the wrestling.
Yeah, it's gotten that bad.
At least next week, the suspensions will be over and we'll get to see stars like Mr. Kennedy, William Regal, Umaga, etc. all make their return. It'll have to get better. It can't get much worse.
Well, that's RAW and that's enough from me for now anyhow, but I'll be back.
I'm Doug and I'm gone!
Questions and comments - send to Doug28352@yahoo.com. Visit me at MySpace at www.myspace.com/salt_palace.
Until the next time - Ubuntu
September 25, 2007
Doug Maynard
I watched WWE Monday Night Raw last night for the first time in a month. I was thinking of doing a full recap, but that is far more detailed and complicated than I want to take it right now. So I decided to just write down my random thoughts of the show as the evening progressed. Sounds like fun, right?
They're coming live from Milwaukee, WI. I should have gotten drunk first. Or bought some beer so I could get drunk while watching the show. It might make things better. At least I'd feel better.
King Booker is still in the opening video montage. That's cool! So there is still hope that the exiled ruler from the Kingdom of Smackdown will one day return and vanquish the pretenders to his throne and re-establish his royal legacy. All Hail King Booker!
No sign of Snitsky in the opening montage though. Or anywhere else for that matter? Have he been sucked into another dimension? Is he watching the baby for Steph and Hunter while they're busy destroying, I mean "creating" superstars on RAW? Where is Snitsky? One thing is for sure though. Wherever he is, it isn't his fault!
The show opens with Coach and then video racapping the entire Cena - Orton - Cena Sr. situation. Wow, so this is all I've missed over the past month? Nice of the WWE Production guys to being me up to speed. I'm already bored.
Mr. Cena sells moves better than his son does. I'd love to see Mr. Cena become the "manager" of Randy Orton. That would be awesome. Coach says that Orton is "suspended indefinitely" for using handcuffs. I know a lot of people who might get in trouble if that's the case.
Vince comes down and he goes on a HHH rant. He mentions the main event of HHH versus Carlito and makes it into a handicap match with himself as Carlito's partner. Can you smell the ratings jump? No, I can't either.
I'll give Vince credit - he can talk and sells the match as a big time event. Vince guarentees a win for himself and the walking Ch-Ch-Ch-Chia Pet.
Vince calls out Hornswaggle and they have a "Hallmark moment". Crowd pops big for the mini-me McMahon. Vince and Horny love each other. That's so sweet!
Vince gives Horny his very own whore. Nope, that's just Melina dressed like a whore. But she's color coordinated with Horny. Just a few months ago, she was the Women's Champ and a major player. Look at her now. Sad!
Horny gets all horny and jumps all over Melina... literally. Funny!
Melina and Horny leave for their "date" - Vince reminds them to use protection. Please do - can you imagine what that love child would look like?
Coach wants to be the permanent General Manager of RAW. Regal returns next week. I sense a Regal - Coach match coming up. General Manager on a Pole match. Yay!
More talking by Vince and Coach and here comes John Cena. Coach warns Cena if he touches Vince or Coach, he'll be stripped of the WWE Title. Cena naturally attacks and sends the two "authority figures" bailing to the floor.
Why do the fake security guys all look like Smackdown referees?
Vince says it's up to Coach to strip Cena of the title. Then he gets confused and announces a ceremony of sorts for title stripping.
It's simple to me - Cena was told if he attacked, he'd be stripped of the title - but then he attacks and it's up to Coach. They said they'd strip him - so strip him already. Geez! Show some consistency.
We're 20 minutes into the show already and it's nothing but talk and blah segments. Where is the wrestling? I hope it gets better.
First match - Cody Rhodes versus Hardcore Holly. The crowd was not into this match and restless.
Cody worked on Holly's arm, but not the one that was wrapped and had been injured. That's not smart wrestling.
Holly won clean with an Alabama Slam in what was a lame match. These two have no chemistry together at all.
I guess Cody's push is over. I wonder who Dusty pissed off?
The fact that I'm still awake is amazing to me.
It's the Diva Search on WWE.com. Check it out. Better on the net than on the TV.
Fathead.com. They're cool. I wonder if I can get a life-sized Juvi?
Since Orton is suspended (actually to get married, from what I've read), let's give him a 4-minute video spot to cut a promo. Sounds right to me.
Orton blabs on and on and on. Cena is a sham. Orton will get revenge. Blah! Blah! Blah! But he's intense and comes across as sincere in his evil intents.
The second match of the night after 48 minutes is Ron Simmons taking on Santino Marella (with Maria).
Maria looks like a slut tonight.
The match is awful.
Santino flees to the back and takes Maria with him.
Ron gets the mic and echoes my feelings for the entire show thus far with the always awesome "Damn!"
Ron did his best move of the night with a flip over the top rope when leaving the ring. Why couldn't he be that graceful and coordinated DURING the match?
It's almost time for "The Family Guy" to come on over at TBS.
Diva Limbo! Yay!
Jillian Hall is huge. At least she's not singing tonight. She talks trash about Hornswaggle and smells Melina's breasts. Seriously, she really did. Melina says that she's only with Horny because Coach promised her a shot at the Women's Championship.
We see the Highlanders hanging out with Cade / Murdoch. Highlanders want a title shot and flash / moon the Brokeback Cowboy Connection in their efforts to get a match. This is so lame. Trevor looks interested though.
The cage is down - it's time for the main event of an awful show. I guess they need to wake the crowd up. HHH comes down and the crowd comes alive. Carlito and Vince are out next. Look at Vince... I think we know who doesn't get tested by WWE Wellness...
Match is OK for what it was. I think Vince legit hurt himself when he did the crotch-drop on the top rope. He slid right off and landed awkwardly. This is a man who suffered two torn quads by walking to the ring a few years ago - he's just asking for serious injury by taking those bumps.
Two on one worked. Carlito kept HHH busy long enough to allow Vince to escape the cage and win the match.
HHH keeps his heat by totally destroying Carlito and any potential rub he may have gotten from this match and being on the winning team.
It's 10:17 and only three matches so far. What does that middle "W" in WWE stand for anyhow?
Finally some good action as The B.C.C. (Cade & Murdoch) take on The Hooligans.
Kendricks has come a long way since his "Spanky" days. He still looks like a 14 year old kid though.
The Highlanders attack the Hooligans and the match is over before it really gets started. Lame!
Horny creeps around in the Diva showers and gets an eyeful of Melina. He chases her around and steals her towel. That crazy kid!
Vince brags to Coach. Coach tells Vince that HHH is looking for him and then leaves. Vince is ready to leave now and starts throwing his clothes into a bag.
"The Condemned" is now out on DVD. Austin and his co-stars plug the movie. Santino Marella talks junk. I sense a stunner in the future of Mr. Marella.
HHH confronts Vince and we have a match next week. That's when Umaga returns from his "injuries" that were "caused by HHH". Coincidence? Probably not!
It's Jeff Hardy and Candice Michelle taking on Jillian Hall & Shelton Benjamin next.
Candice is the hometown hero. She's going to lose.
The crowd really pops for Jeff Hardy. They love those Hardy Boys.
Jeff and Candice have glow sticks. That's pretty cool!
Not a bad match.
Jillian is just plain huge. I'd love to see her take on Victoria in a one-on-one match.
Over on Family Guy, Peter is smoking crack so he can quit drinking. And Stewie has gone into the "Mine" phase of baby-hood. I love that show.
I was right - Candice does the J.O.B.
Coach talks to the fake press. Where are the questions that matter? What about OJ? The world wants to know!
Coach and the security guys are in the ring and call out John Cena. He has to beg to keep his title. I don't think so.
A ref comes out and tells Lillian Garcia that "by order of Mr. MacMahon", Cena will not be stripped of his title and there will be one more match for the night with Cena versus Coach in a "Tables Match".
I'll admit, I was baffled. What is Vince doing?
Cena beats up Coach with an S.T.F.U. and then an F.U. through the conveniently placed table in the ring to win the "match".
Hornswaggle McMahon comes out on the ramp and Cena says, "Thank you, Mr. McMahon!"
Oh, that makes sense.
And it's funny!
So that was RAW. Boy, I'm, so sorry I haven't been watching lately. The show is just awesome!
Yeah, that was sarcasm.
The first hour totally sucked. The second hour was OK, but it had a lot to accomplish to make up for the crappy first hour. Did it do it? I don't think so.
The stuff with Horny was good... and the cage match was solid. Nothing great, but OK.
And the rest of the show?
I'm just glad that Family Guy was on the other channel for occasional glimpses of good TV. If it wasn't for wanting to do this recap, I would have turned the channel entirely and just passed on the wrestling.
Yeah, it's gotten that bad.
At least next week, the suspensions will be over and we'll get to see stars like Mr. Kennedy, William Regal, Umaga, etc. all make their return. It'll have to get better. It can't get much worse.
Well, that's RAW and that's enough from me for now anyhow, but I'll be back.
I'm Doug and I'm gone!
Questions and comments - send to Doug28352@yahoo.com. Visit me at MySpace at www.myspace.com/salt_palace.
Until the next time - Ubuntu
(Retro) Tossing Salt - Worldwide News: September 12, 2007
Tossing Salt - Worldwide News
Wednesday, September 12, 2007
Doug Maynard
I'm Doug and I'm back. And this is "Tossing Salt - Worldwide News" - professional wrestling's most eclectic column. Let's get random with a few thoughts on a few things, OK? All righty then!
And remember, this is all just my thoughts and opinions unless otherwise noted. You've been warned.
Did I Call It Or What?
For the last several "TS" columns - my main two picks for the McMahon bastard child was either Stevie Richards (still my favorite choice - until Vince publicly trashed him on Monday night) or else "The Little Bastard", Hornswaggle. Well, it was the little guy - he's a McMahon. I called it! I told you!
Remember that!
King Booker & Sharmell will eventually be back with the WWE - after the sixty day suspension and a "cooling off" period. Booker is PO'ed and I can't blame him - but a cool million bucks a year (both their salaries, PPV & house show bonuses, merchandising) is too hard to turn down while it's still available. Booker & Sharmell don't need the money (two wrestling schools and a hip hop shop that's doing very well) but they'd be crazy to walk away from the WWE at this time and point of their careers. The gimmick is hot - they're hot - embrace it and enjoy it for a couple of more years.
Now Jamie Noble has gone from battling with a midget over the Cruiserweight Championship to fighting one of the McMahon's over that same title. Some careers might end up getting elevated from this whole "bastard son" storyline after all - and Noble is a good place to start. I swear, looking at him and his style of performing, he reminds me so much of a younger Chris Benoit with a little Eddie Guerrero thrown in for good measure.
Ric Flair just wants respect and one final strong push by the WWE before he calls it a career. I agree - anyone who has done as much for this business as "Naitch" has deserves at least that much. I'd turn Ric heel and let him establish a group of wrestlers to act as his "protection" while he reestablishes his rep as the "dirtiest player in the game" and lies, cheats and steals his way to the World Championship. With a "protected" Flair, he's much more credible as the champ and can help give the rub to and build stars on Smackdown - leading to a good reign (four - five months) and a chance to go out on top and then make that transition to a managerial role.
And for those that say Ric is too old to be champ, he's younger than a recent ECW Champ - Vince and he's sure as hell a better champ than Great Khali (or Batista for that matter). At least Ric knows how to safely apply and hit his finisher move.
As for Ric's "group of thugs", looking at the current Smackdown roster, just at random, I'd move Stevie over from ECW (I'm going to get him in the spotlight somehow), bring back Arn Anderson for a short run as Ric's "manager", and have Batista join Ric (based on loyalty & friendship - setting up a feud later on.) And maybe Chavito once he gets back from his "vacation" - he deserves a role in a major storyline and I think a chance to work with Ric & Batista would be a group way to elevate him up the ladder a bit.
TNA - well, it now stands for "Total NonStop Angle" and that's not a good thing. Kurt is a remarkable athlete, but he's not a "star" player - he works better as part of a group with other stars that can complement his abilities and work with him to hide his flaws. Kurt reminds me of Matt LeBlanc (Joey from Friends) - as part of the big group enviroment, he was a success - "Friends" was one of the best shows on TV for many, many years. Kurt, as part of the WWE, was a big success - the WWE was going through a hot streak and much of it was revolving around Kurt Angle. Then LeBlanc went to do the series "Joey" - and even though it had some charm and appeal, it tanked and quickly faded away to TV limbo. Kurt left WWE and went to TNA, and much like LeBlanc without his "Friends", Kurt is now without Austin, McMahon, HHH, Cena, etc to work off of - and he's in freefall and going down fast. Kurt is a great wrestler,but he's not a Ric Flair or HBK or even Steve Austin - he's not someone to base the entire show around - he's best in small doses and the over-exposure recently in TNA has exposed the flaws, the weak points, etc. TNA is killing their golden goose way too quickly and the entire product is suffering as a result.
Wrestling three matches on one PPV? That's a little too much of anyone. Seriously!
Sandman got canned by the WWE yesterday. It figures - the one guy that everyone has been expecting to see fired for the past year - with the strong reputation as a hell-raiser and he's been on extra-good behavior for his entire WWE stint. He DIDN'T get busted in any kind of Wellness scandal - and he gets the pink slip anyhow. That sucks!
But Miz still has a job! And three ladies! And people ask what's wrong with WWE these days...lol.
I've heard repeatedly that Sid Vicious wants one last WWE run. And he's supposedly in great physical condition and looks like a monster. I've never been a big fan of Sid's, but I'd like to see Sid - Taker one more time. Or maybe Sid - Batista... just to see who flubs more moves in the first 30 seconds of the match. Me thinks Sid is best off where he's at, and that's not on WWE TV.
One guy I'd like to see on WWE TV again, even if just for a short time, is Scott Hall. He's wrestling again regularly down in Puerto Rico (WWC) and from all reports, doing quite well. I've heard that Kevin Nash is pushing to have Hall & X-Pac both come back to TNA and wrestle there - but TNA wouldn't know what to do with two talented guys with charisma who can actually wrestle. They'd probably have Scott jobbing to Pacman Jones - one of their "Champions" who can't even legally wrestle. I'd rather see Scott (and Kev & even Waltman) do one last run in WWE - mostly with Nash in a commentary / managerial role and let Hall / Pac do the wrestling. It'd be a nice little moment of nostalgia to get us past all the recent B.S. happenings.
And Vince needs to hire Jerry Lynn for the ECW Brand - let him teach and work the younger guys - and have a good six-month feud with CM Punk. They can trade the gold back and forth, add some prestige to the title that it currently lacks and the ratings would go up. I know I'd start watching more often.
Enough ramblings. Let's move on.
T.S.W.W.N. Poll Question:
Since I've been talking a lot about Ric Flair and his "last run", who would you like to see Ric wrestle in his final match as a full-time active wrestler, preferably at Wrestlemania 24. I have my thoughts and ideas on the matter, but I'll save that for later. I want to know who YOU would book at Ric's final wrestling opponent and why. Talk at me, people. Send your responses to Doug28352@yahoo.com.
Cheap Plug:
He's the grand-wizard of hip hop - he's the magical master of tight beats and catchy lyrics - and he's just that damn good - it's Soce the Elemental Wizard - go check him out at www.myspace.com/soce or www.greathiphop.com. You'll be glad you did!
WWE Unforgiven PPV Predictions:
Despite the big lack of hype, WWE has a PPV coming up on Sunday. So that means prediction time. So here you go, from the top...
CM Punk defeats Elijah Burke to retain the ECW Championship, HHH "hammers" Carlito, Duece & Domino manage to cash in on the conflicting signals between Matt Hardy & MVP and regain the WWE Tag Team Titles. Teddy Long will come out and order an inpromptu U.S. title match between MVP and Matt - and Matt will walk out as the U.S. Champ. Cade & Murdoch retain the World Tag Team Titles by getting themselves disqualified in their defense against The Hooligans. Spanky & London win the match, but not the gold. Beth Phoenix kills Candice Michelle to capture the Women's Championship. Pure chaos in the Triple Threat Match as the two goofs stink up the ring and even the rusty Rey can't save the match - Khali retains. "The Legend Killer" kills another legend in John Cena as he captures the WWE Championship and walks out with the gold. Mark Henry will have his ass handed to him by the returning Undertaker, but will walk away with the win (via DQ) after 'Taker goes too far - and the feud gets to continue for three more months. And the match hasn't been added yet (as of the time I'm writing this) but Jamie Noble will manage to get the Cruiserweight Championship away from the grubby little hands of Hornswaggle McMahon and become the new CW Champ. Hornswaggle won't care because he's a "Genetic Jackhammer" Mini-Me McMahon now and will end up moving to RAW to be near "dear old Dad!"
And now, for the big question... Thanks to Harold Schwan for putting this out in the groups. I'm slow in responding, but I am responding. And here you go...
Am I Wrestling Fan?
You know, just a year ago, this was a no-brainer of a question. As most people who know me even slightly well can tell you, professional wrestling has long been one of the major obsessions in my life. The other obsession, for those keeping track at home, is hot guys, but that's not important right now.
Right now, it's about wrestling - the "King of Sports" - the greatest form of family entertainment available to man. No doubt, at one time, the answer would have been "Yes, yes, a thousand times yes!" with no hesitation or doubt.
And then, something changed.
Was it me? Was it a particular storyline or character? Was it an over-dose of Vince McMahon? Was it just being tired of seeing no-talent boobs and non-deserving stiffs get the big pushes in TNA while the wrestlers who entertain me, who have the talent to perform in the ring and tell a story, plus talk as well, get regulated to the role of curtain-jerkers and jobbers, if even used at all. And yes, I will be naming names in just a bit. But what was it? Maybe it was the Benoit tragedy? Maybe it was the death of a man I respected and cared for and considered a friend. Maybe it's the ever-increasing scandals and bad press that wrestling keeps getting, time and time again. Maybe it's all of this. All I know is that things have changed. I've changed. And my views and thoughts on what once was the biggest thing in my life.... that changed too.
Think about it. For over five years, I've written a wrestling column for some of the best websites on the internet, starting off at WrestlingInformer.net and then moving to the WrestlingHeadquarters.com before settlng in at Wrestle-Zone.Co.UK - which incidentially has a new name - it's bigger and better than ever - it's www.TotalWrestlingNews.com. Yeah, we're going big time now. I also did a stint as the WWE Raw Recapper at www.LordsofPain.net.
Wrestling has been very good to me and it's given me the chance, time and time again, to be creative and grow, both as a writer and a person.
And even before the various stints on the websites, I was a prominent member of that elite little world of Yahoo groups - the wrestling division. Up to sixteen different wrestling groups at one time, and I was a prominent poster, always on top of things with the latest news items or a comment on this or that. It was a fun life, often time consuming, but great exposure to information and some fantastic people, who I am glad to count now as some of my closest and dearest friends.
But now, the columns are forced and seem to be more incoherent rambings than having any kind of focus. I rarely even go to the Yahoo groups anymore and when I do check in, I just glance through or skim the posts - and rarely care to comment. The long love affair seems to be over. I hardly even watch WWE anymore. Watching TNA has never been much of an option since the TV time for Impact doesn't work well with my ever-changing work schedule. But truthfully, based on the recaps and other reviews of TNA and their product, plus given the way they've treated several of their performers (Jerry Lynn for example), I'm not too keen on watching Total Nonstop Angle anyhow.
I still look forward to reading the RAW recaps on Tuesday morning. I still check out all the wrestling websites for news and information on my favorite performers. If I know that Stevie Richards (for example) is going to be on ECW or that Ric Flair (wooooooooo!) is going to be on Smackdown, I'll try to check in or at least keep an eye to as what is going on.
But the over-all negative press, the nasty little secrets that have spilled out over the past three months about the spectacle that is wrestling, they've taken their toll as well. I look at Chris Benoit, long one of my favorite performers, both in and out of the ring, and hear that he was additcted to steroids. He was delusional and had brain damage consistent with that of an 85 year old man. And I get sad and wonder why?
I see twelve wrestlers suspended by the WWE for purchasing Wellness banned items from the internet and I get sad and wonder why.
I realize that Ric Flair and Booker T, two of the best performers of all time (IMO), might be gone forever from my TV set - Booker due to retirement after being busted in the Wellness scandal and Ric due to frustration with the WWE and their lack of any kind of support or push for arguably the greatest all-around wrestler of the past thirty years.
And I get sad and wonder why.
Nothing makes sense anymore. Wrestling is supposed to be an escape from reality - a chance to get away from the problems of life for a little while. It's a soap opera for guys.
But lately, it's all far too real - you have good guys murdering their wife and kid - you have drug addicts and abusers making headlines - you have Congress investigating the WWE and summoning Vince & Co. to the Hill for hearings which are all for show and won't change anything in the long run. It's too much to deal with.
And so I've backed away and taken a reprieve, as have, I noticed many others. But the question was, "Am I a wrestling fan?".
I think back and remember my first encounter with a wrestler, up close and personal, the legendary Brute Bernard - and how he scared the mess out of me as a smal child and made me cry. Then broke character and apologized later in the parking lot.
I think about the years of watching Bob Caudle and David Crockett every Saturday night at 11:30pm on Mid-Atlantic Championship Wrestling - and being amazed at teh talents of such people as Blackjack Mulligan, Masked Superstar, Rick Steamboat, Jay Youngblood, Roddy Piper, a very young Ric Flair, Wahoo McDaniel, Jimmy Valiant, Ivan Koloff, Johnny Weaver, etc.
And then I discovered cable TV and found Georgia Championship Wrestling with Gordon Solie, Ole Anderson, Mr. Wrestling II, Tommy Rich, The Road Warriors, Don Muraco and so many others.
And from there, it was glimpses of World Class and the AWA - it was buying the so-called "Apter Mags" every month, it was pictures and posters of wrestlers of all shapes or sizes all over my walls. It didn't matter who it was - they were wrestlers - and that was what mattered. My sisters had their rock stars & my brothers had their posters of motorcyles and sleazy hot babes - I was all about the wrestling.
Over the years, I met several of my TV heroes, even established some good friendships and saw a young local lad, someone who is like a brother to me, move on and become one of the top names in the NC Indy Scene and Puerto Rico - that's Mike Youngblood, by the way. He's a rotten roommate, but a fantastic athlete and wrestling superstar. I was, to put it bluntly, hooked - other people had drugs or alcohol - wrestling was my fix - my addiction.
Then came the internet and a new world opened up for me. If I was hooked before, I was a full fledged junkie now and it was all about the Monday Night Wars, WCW versus WWE, the backstage stuff, the "insider dirt".... and I'd never been happier.
And that brings me to now?
Do I still have a strong passion for professional wrestling? Yes.
Do I still care about my friends and associates in the business? Yes.
Do I still appreciate a good match with two (or four if it's a tag match) telling a story and making sense? Yes.
Do I appreciate the wear and tear these men and women put on themselves for the sake of our amusement? Again, it's yes.
So it comes down to this for me. The fire has dimmed - the passion is not what it once was for the "King of Sports" in my eyes. But I'm only one good storyline or one new superstar to raise the standards a bit and I know I'll be right back into the fire. Give Flair one last run with the gold - I'll watch.
Quit pushing the muscle-bound goofs like Snitsky, Chris Masters, Batista, etc and give TV time to the guys who can actually wrestle and perform (Jamie Noble, Matt Hardy, Stevie Richards, Shannon Moore) and I'll be right there. Let the guys be themselves in characters and promos - it worked for a hundred years and is more natural and real - quit the over-scripting of everything and I'll watch. Bring back Ivory or Juvi and I'll definitely watch. Less of the non wrestlers (McMahons), washed-up wrestlers (Kurt Angle), or huge wastes of time and money (Diva Search) and I'll watch again. Take a back to the basics approach where it's more about the wrestling and not about the stupidity, the politics, the realities of real life and becomes fun again - and I'll definitely watch.
Am I a wrestling fan? Guess what? There is something about wrestling that is more addictive than crack, sex or jelly beans. It's the reason Ric Flair won't retire - and Terry Funk retired at least 40 times, only to keep coming back. Heck, even Bret Hart & Bruno came back. It's a thrill - a rush that can't be duplicated anywhere else.
So even with the scandals, the hirings and firings, the bad storylines, the Congressional Hearings, the drug abuse, the tragic unnecessary deaths, I'm still going to keep watching. Maybe not with the same enthusiasm and fire that I once had, but hell, even the best of marriages loses some passion after a few years and I've been attached in some manner to the world's oldest profession for close to forty years now - as a fan, a critic, an "internet wrestling journalist" (odes to Bobby Heenan for that label.), and now with WrestleKings 3 Productions, a agent of sorts helping with the creative aspects of their upcoming show in Mooresville, NC on November 10, 2007. Be there!!.
Through better and through worse - in sickness and in health - through good times and through bad - till death us do part. Yeah, it's a marriage of sorts (probably the closest I'll ever come to being married in this lifetime - support gay marriage - you can't legislate love - call your Congressman) - and it's always been there for me. And I'll always be there for wrestling.
Am I a wrestling fan? It's obvious. The question is, are you?
Think about it.
Visit me at MySpace - it's www.myspace.com/salt_palace. Add me as a friend and your life will be complete. Join the ranks of the "Tossing Salt Fan Nation!" You know you want to.
And dat' is all de' people need to know.
I'm Doug. See ya!
Wednesday, September 12, 2007
Doug Maynard
I'm Doug and I'm back. And this is "Tossing Salt - Worldwide News" - professional wrestling's most eclectic column. Let's get random with a few thoughts on a few things, OK? All righty then!
And remember, this is all just my thoughts and opinions unless otherwise noted. You've been warned.
Did I Call It Or What?
For the last several "TS" columns - my main two picks for the McMahon bastard child was either Stevie Richards (still my favorite choice - until Vince publicly trashed him on Monday night) or else "The Little Bastard", Hornswaggle. Well, it was the little guy - he's a McMahon. I called it! I told you!
Remember that!
King Booker & Sharmell will eventually be back with the WWE - after the sixty day suspension and a "cooling off" period. Booker is PO'ed and I can't blame him - but a cool million bucks a year (both their salaries, PPV & house show bonuses, merchandising) is too hard to turn down while it's still available. Booker & Sharmell don't need the money (two wrestling schools and a hip hop shop that's doing very well) but they'd be crazy to walk away from the WWE at this time and point of their careers. The gimmick is hot - they're hot - embrace it and enjoy it for a couple of more years.
Now Jamie Noble has gone from battling with a midget over the Cruiserweight Championship to fighting one of the McMahon's over that same title. Some careers might end up getting elevated from this whole "bastard son" storyline after all - and Noble is a good place to start. I swear, looking at him and his style of performing, he reminds me so much of a younger Chris Benoit with a little Eddie Guerrero thrown in for good measure.
Ric Flair just wants respect and one final strong push by the WWE before he calls it a career. I agree - anyone who has done as much for this business as "Naitch" has deserves at least that much. I'd turn Ric heel and let him establish a group of wrestlers to act as his "protection" while he reestablishes his rep as the "dirtiest player in the game" and lies, cheats and steals his way to the World Championship. With a "protected" Flair, he's much more credible as the champ and can help give the rub to and build stars on Smackdown - leading to a good reign (four - five months) and a chance to go out on top and then make that transition to a managerial role.
And for those that say Ric is too old to be champ, he's younger than a recent ECW Champ - Vince and he's sure as hell a better champ than Great Khali (or Batista for that matter). At least Ric knows how to safely apply and hit his finisher move.
As for Ric's "group of thugs", looking at the current Smackdown roster, just at random, I'd move Stevie over from ECW (I'm going to get him in the spotlight somehow), bring back Arn Anderson for a short run as Ric's "manager", and have Batista join Ric (based on loyalty & friendship - setting up a feud later on.) And maybe Chavito once he gets back from his "vacation" - he deserves a role in a major storyline and I think a chance to work with Ric & Batista would be a group way to elevate him up the ladder a bit.
TNA - well, it now stands for "Total NonStop Angle" and that's not a good thing. Kurt is a remarkable athlete, but he's not a "star" player - he works better as part of a group with other stars that can complement his abilities and work with him to hide his flaws. Kurt reminds me of Matt LeBlanc (Joey from Friends) - as part of the big group enviroment, he was a success - "Friends" was one of the best shows on TV for many, many years. Kurt, as part of the WWE, was a big success - the WWE was going through a hot streak and much of it was revolving around Kurt Angle. Then LeBlanc went to do the series "Joey" - and even though it had some charm and appeal, it tanked and quickly faded away to TV limbo. Kurt left WWE and went to TNA, and much like LeBlanc without his "Friends", Kurt is now without Austin, McMahon, HHH, Cena, etc to work off of - and he's in freefall and going down fast. Kurt is a great wrestler,but he's not a Ric Flair or HBK or even Steve Austin - he's not someone to base the entire show around - he's best in small doses and the over-exposure recently in TNA has exposed the flaws, the weak points, etc. TNA is killing their golden goose way too quickly and the entire product is suffering as a result.
Wrestling three matches on one PPV? That's a little too much of anyone. Seriously!
Sandman got canned by the WWE yesterday. It figures - the one guy that everyone has been expecting to see fired for the past year - with the strong reputation as a hell-raiser and he's been on extra-good behavior for his entire WWE stint. He DIDN'T get busted in any kind of Wellness scandal - and he gets the pink slip anyhow. That sucks!
But Miz still has a job! And three ladies! And people ask what's wrong with WWE these days...lol.
I've heard repeatedly that Sid Vicious wants one last WWE run. And he's supposedly in great physical condition and looks like a monster. I've never been a big fan of Sid's, but I'd like to see Sid - Taker one more time. Or maybe Sid - Batista... just to see who flubs more moves in the first 30 seconds of the match. Me thinks Sid is best off where he's at, and that's not on WWE TV.
One guy I'd like to see on WWE TV again, even if just for a short time, is Scott Hall. He's wrestling again regularly down in Puerto Rico (WWC) and from all reports, doing quite well. I've heard that Kevin Nash is pushing to have Hall & X-Pac both come back to TNA and wrestle there - but TNA wouldn't know what to do with two talented guys with charisma who can actually wrestle. They'd probably have Scott jobbing to Pacman Jones - one of their "Champions" who can't even legally wrestle. I'd rather see Scott (and Kev & even Waltman) do one last run in WWE - mostly with Nash in a commentary / managerial role and let Hall / Pac do the wrestling. It'd be a nice little moment of nostalgia to get us past all the recent B.S. happenings.
And Vince needs to hire Jerry Lynn for the ECW Brand - let him teach and work the younger guys - and have a good six-month feud with CM Punk. They can trade the gold back and forth, add some prestige to the title that it currently lacks and the ratings would go up. I know I'd start watching more often.
Enough ramblings. Let's move on.
T.S.W.W.N. Poll Question:
Since I've been talking a lot about Ric Flair and his "last run", who would you like to see Ric wrestle in his final match as a full-time active wrestler, preferably at Wrestlemania 24. I have my thoughts and ideas on the matter, but I'll save that for later. I want to know who YOU would book at Ric's final wrestling opponent and why. Talk at me, people. Send your responses to Doug28352@yahoo.com.
Cheap Plug:
He's the grand-wizard of hip hop - he's the magical master of tight beats and catchy lyrics - and he's just that damn good - it's Soce the Elemental Wizard - go check him out at www.myspace.com/soce or www.greathiphop.com. You'll be glad you did!
WWE Unforgiven PPV Predictions:
Despite the big lack of hype, WWE has a PPV coming up on Sunday. So that means prediction time. So here you go, from the top...
CM Punk defeats Elijah Burke to retain the ECW Championship, HHH "hammers" Carlito, Duece & Domino manage to cash in on the conflicting signals between Matt Hardy & MVP and regain the WWE Tag Team Titles. Teddy Long will come out and order an inpromptu U.S. title match between MVP and Matt - and Matt will walk out as the U.S. Champ. Cade & Murdoch retain the World Tag Team Titles by getting themselves disqualified in their defense against The Hooligans. Spanky & London win the match, but not the gold. Beth Phoenix kills Candice Michelle to capture the Women's Championship. Pure chaos in the Triple Threat Match as the two goofs stink up the ring and even the rusty Rey can't save the match - Khali retains. "The Legend Killer" kills another legend in John Cena as he captures the WWE Championship and walks out with the gold. Mark Henry will have his ass handed to him by the returning Undertaker, but will walk away with the win (via DQ) after 'Taker goes too far - and the feud gets to continue for three more months. And the match hasn't been added yet (as of the time I'm writing this) but Jamie Noble will manage to get the Cruiserweight Championship away from the grubby little hands of Hornswaggle McMahon and become the new CW Champ. Hornswaggle won't care because he's a "Genetic Jackhammer" Mini-Me McMahon now and will end up moving to RAW to be near "dear old Dad!"
And now, for the big question... Thanks to Harold Schwan for putting this out in the groups. I'm slow in responding, but I am responding. And here you go...
Am I Wrestling Fan?
You know, just a year ago, this was a no-brainer of a question. As most people who know me even slightly well can tell you, professional wrestling has long been one of the major obsessions in my life. The other obsession, for those keeping track at home, is hot guys, but that's not important right now.
Right now, it's about wrestling - the "King of Sports" - the greatest form of family entertainment available to man. No doubt, at one time, the answer would have been "Yes, yes, a thousand times yes!" with no hesitation or doubt.
And then, something changed.
Was it me? Was it a particular storyline or character? Was it an over-dose of Vince McMahon? Was it just being tired of seeing no-talent boobs and non-deserving stiffs get the big pushes in TNA while the wrestlers who entertain me, who have the talent to perform in the ring and tell a story, plus talk as well, get regulated to the role of curtain-jerkers and jobbers, if even used at all. And yes, I will be naming names in just a bit. But what was it? Maybe it was the Benoit tragedy? Maybe it was the death of a man I respected and cared for and considered a friend. Maybe it's the ever-increasing scandals and bad press that wrestling keeps getting, time and time again. Maybe it's all of this. All I know is that things have changed. I've changed. And my views and thoughts on what once was the biggest thing in my life.... that changed too.
Think about it. For over five years, I've written a wrestling column for some of the best websites on the internet, starting off at WrestlingInformer.net and then moving to the WrestlingHeadquarters.com before settlng in at Wrestle-Zone.Co.UK - which incidentially has a new name - it's bigger and better than ever - it's www.TotalWrestlingNews.com. Yeah, we're going big time now. I also did a stint as the WWE Raw Recapper at www.LordsofPain.net.
Wrestling has been very good to me and it's given me the chance, time and time again, to be creative and grow, both as a writer and a person.
And even before the various stints on the websites, I was a prominent member of that elite little world of Yahoo groups - the wrestling division. Up to sixteen different wrestling groups at one time, and I was a prominent poster, always on top of things with the latest news items or a comment on this or that. It was a fun life, often time consuming, but great exposure to information and some fantastic people, who I am glad to count now as some of my closest and dearest friends.
But now, the columns are forced and seem to be more incoherent rambings than having any kind of focus. I rarely even go to the Yahoo groups anymore and when I do check in, I just glance through or skim the posts - and rarely care to comment. The long love affair seems to be over. I hardly even watch WWE anymore. Watching TNA has never been much of an option since the TV time for Impact doesn't work well with my ever-changing work schedule. But truthfully, based on the recaps and other reviews of TNA and their product, plus given the way they've treated several of their performers (Jerry Lynn for example), I'm not too keen on watching Total Nonstop Angle anyhow.
I still look forward to reading the RAW recaps on Tuesday morning. I still check out all the wrestling websites for news and information on my favorite performers. If I know that Stevie Richards (for example) is going to be on ECW or that Ric Flair (wooooooooo!) is going to be on Smackdown, I'll try to check in or at least keep an eye to as what is going on.
But the over-all negative press, the nasty little secrets that have spilled out over the past three months about the spectacle that is wrestling, they've taken their toll as well. I look at Chris Benoit, long one of my favorite performers, both in and out of the ring, and hear that he was additcted to steroids. He was delusional and had brain damage consistent with that of an 85 year old man. And I get sad and wonder why?
I see twelve wrestlers suspended by the WWE for purchasing Wellness banned items from the internet and I get sad and wonder why.
I realize that Ric Flair and Booker T, two of the best performers of all time (IMO), might be gone forever from my TV set - Booker due to retirement after being busted in the Wellness scandal and Ric due to frustration with the WWE and their lack of any kind of support or push for arguably the greatest all-around wrestler of the past thirty years.
And I get sad and wonder why.
Nothing makes sense anymore. Wrestling is supposed to be an escape from reality - a chance to get away from the problems of life for a little while. It's a soap opera for guys.
But lately, it's all far too real - you have good guys murdering their wife and kid - you have drug addicts and abusers making headlines - you have Congress investigating the WWE and summoning Vince & Co. to the Hill for hearings which are all for show and won't change anything in the long run. It's too much to deal with.
And so I've backed away and taken a reprieve, as have, I noticed many others. But the question was, "Am I a wrestling fan?".
I think back and remember my first encounter with a wrestler, up close and personal, the legendary Brute Bernard - and how he scared the mess out of me as a smal child and made me cry. Then broke character and apologized later in the parking lot.
I think about the years of watching Bob Caudle and David Crockett every Saturday night at 11:30pm on Mid-Atlantic Championship Wrestling - and being amazed at teh talents of such people as Blackjack Mulligan, Masked Superstar, Rick Steamboat, Jay Youngblood, Roddy Piper, a very young Ric Flair, Wahoo McDaniel, Jimmy Valiant, Ivan Koloff, Johnny Weaver, etc.
And then I discovered cable TV and found Georgia Championship Wrestling with Gordon Solie, Ole Anderson, Mr. Wrestling II, Tommy Rich, The Road Warriors, Don Muraco and so many others.
And from there, it was glimpses of World Class and the AWA - it was buying the so-called "Apter Mags" every month, it was pictures and posters of wrestlers of all shapes or sizes all over my walls. It didn't matter who it was - they were wrestlers - and that was what mattered. My sisters had their rock stars & my brothers had their posters of motorcyles and sleazy hot babes - I was all about the wrestling.
Over the years, I met several of my TV heroes, even established some good friendships and saw a young local lad, someone who is like a brother to me, move on and become one of the top names in the NC Indy Scene and Puerto Rico - that's Mike Youngblood, by the way. He's a rotten roommate, but a fantastic athlete and wrestling superstar. I was, to put it bluntly, hooked - other people had drugs or alcohol - wrestling was my fix - my addiction.
Then came the internet and a new world opened up for me. If I was hooked before, I was a full fledged junkie now and it was all about the Monday Night Wars, WCW versus WWE, the backstage stuff, the "insider dirt".... and I'd never been happier.
And that brings me to now?
Do I still have a strong passion for professional wrestling? Yes.
Do I still care about my friends and associates in the business? Yes.
Do I still appreciate a good match with two (or four if it's a tag match) telling a story and making sense? Yes.
Do I appreciate the wear and tear these men and women put on themselves for the sake of our amusement? Again, it's yes.
So it comes down to this for me. The fire has dimmed - the passion is not what it once was for the "King of Sports" in my eyes. But I'm only one good storyline or one new superstar to raise the standards a bit and I know I'll be right back into the fire. Give Flair one last run with the gold - I'll watch.
Quit pushing the muscle-bound goofs like Snitsky, Chris Masters, Batista, etc and give TV time to the guys who can actually wrestle and perform (Jamie Noble, Matt Hardy, Stevie Richards, Shannon Moore) and I'll be right there. Let the guys be themselves in characters and promos - it worked for a hundred years and is more natural and real - quit the over-scripting of everything and I'll watch. Bring back Ivory or Juvi and I'll definitely watch. Less of the non wrestlers (McMahons), washed-up wrestlers (Kurt Angle), or huge wastes of time and money (Diva Search) and I'll watch again. Take a back to the basics approach where it's more about the wrestling and not about the stupidity, the politics, the realities of real life and becomes fun again - and I'll definitely watch.
Am I a wrestling fan? Guess what? There is something about wrestling that is more addictive than crack, sex or jelly beans. It's the reason Ric Flair won't retire - and Terry Funk retired at least 40 times, only to keep coming back. Heck, even Bret Hart & Bruno came back. It's a thrill - a rush that can't be duplicated anywhere else.
So even with the scandals, the hirings and firings, the bad storylines, the Congressional Hearings, the drug abuse, the tragic unnecessary deaths, I'm still going to keep watching. Maybe not with the same enthusiasm and fire that I once had, but hell, even the best of marriages loses some passion after a few years and I've been attached in some manner to the world's oldest profession for close to forty years now - as a fan, a critic, an "internet wrestling journalist" (odes to Bobby Heenan for that label.), and now with WrestleKings 3 Productions, a agent of sorts helping with the creative aspects of their upcoming show in Mooresville, NC on November 10, 2007. Be there!!.
Through better and through worse - in sickness and in health - through good times and through bad - till death us do part. Yeah, it's a marriage of sorts (probably the closest I'll ever come to being married in this lifetime - support gay marriage - you can't legislate love - call your Congressman) - and it's always been there for me. And I'll always be there for wrestling.
Am I a wrestling fan? It's obvious. The question is, are you?
Think about it.
Visit me at MySpace - it's www.myspace.com/salt_palace. Add me as a friend and your life will be complete. Join the ranks of the "Tossing Salt Fan Nation!" You know you want to.
And dat' is all de' people need to know.
I'm Doug. See ya!
(Retro) Tossing Salt - Worldwide News: August 12, 2007
Tossing Salt - Worldwide News
August 12, 2007
Doug Maynard
"Cool Beans!" It's the new catch-phrase that's going to change the face of the world. It's so simple, even a caveman can use it!
Yeah, Geico is going to sue me for that!
What up all? I'm Doug and this is a rip roaring Sunday edition of pro-wrestling's most eclectic column, the often imitated, but never duplicated, "Tossing Salt- Worldwide News!"
Yeah, I'm back again! Just like that little pink bunny rabbit that plays the drums, this is the column that keeps going and going and going!
At least until nap time.
And then just leave a message. I'll have my girl call your girl - we'll do lunch! Don't ever change! Who loves ya, baby!
OK, let's get right to the nitty-gritty. This is (allegedly) a wrestling column, so let's talk wrestling.
Joey Mercury is back in the WWE (kind of). He was announced yesterday as the new "Head Trainer" of the OVW Beginners Class Program.
As you recall, Mercury was released by the WWE back in March after coming back way too soon from a sickening in-ring accident and having a steel ladder slammed into his face. Then (allegedly) a problem surfaced with Mercury's addiction to pain medication and he was given the pink slip by WWE officals.
And now, since Congress is breathing down the necks of WWE, Mercury is suddenly hired back out of the blue and positioned in OVW where he can collect an easy paycheck and at the same time, not be available as a hostile witness for Congressional hearings against the WWE.
Let's be serious here. Mercury had a problem. With the WWE's help, he got cleaned up and back on the straight and narrow. That's good. Then he was hurt and convinced by WWE management to "suck it up" and come back to the ring to work a program against the Hardys with then-partner Johnny Nitro. Mercury relapsed, due in part to the need of pain killers to deal with his injuries and in-ring return. The WWE kicked him to the curb without so much as a "thank you!".
And now, with the threat of government intervention in the WWE and a Congressional look at "Wellness" possibly coming up, WWE has decided that they'd rather have Mercury back all of a sudden? They don't want him testifying against them. That's all it is.
Maybe I'm wrong, but I think it's just a case of WWE covering their ass and making the potential red-flags less likely to act against them. If called now, expect Mercury to sing the company lines about "Wellness" and problems in professional wrestling. After all, you don't cross the man who's giving you a paycheck. Especially if it's a man known for his "ruthless agression" - both in kayfabe and real world terms.
But whatever the reason, I'm glad Mercury is back with the WWE. He's a good worker and MNM was always one of my favorite tag teams to watch. Melina, Nitro and Mercury bring out the best in each other and with Mercury only a phone call away from the WWE main-roster again, truthfully, can a MNM reunion be far away?
Another recent victim of the "Wellness" program is none other than "Rainbow Brite" Jeff Hardy. But unlike Mercury, Hardy got the 30-day unpaid vacation and his program with Umaga (and possibly another run as the IC champ) scrapped.
With all apologies to Afroman, Hardy is probably at home, strumming on his guitar, singing, "I was gonna be a champ, but I got high! I was gonna wear some gold, but I got high! Now I'm watching Matt on TV and letting out a big sigh, cause I'm high, cause I'm high, cause I'm high!" And then he turns to his girlfriend and asks "Where's the hair dye? I feel as fruity as a bag of skittles tonight!"
OK, that was wrong. I just implied that Hardy was both a pot-head and over-does it a bit with the hair color. My apologies! I like the multi-colored hair.
I shouldn't talk about Jeff and his fascination with all the pretty colors. True story here. Way back, when I was the store-manager for a small c-store down in Wilmington, NC, I was a bit on the wild-haired side myself. I had a rat-tail that went half-way down my back. And I got bored and dyed it blonde. But that wasn't enough so I dyed it lime green. And eventually settled on a very bright "hot pink". Yeah, I know - very professional. My District Manager was not very happy with me when he came to visit the store. There I was, his manager with a long, hot pink strand of hair going down past my shoulders. And Marshall & Steve, my two main employees and best friends at the time, had lime green hair & purple hair respectively. We were a colorful bunch, to say the least.
I don't know how we managed to avoid being fired. He (our supervisor) was so PO'ed when he saw us. But the store looked good - sales were up - inventory was good - money was good - etc. We just looked like clowns. I think that was all that saved us. But he didn't come back to visit my store (or talk to me) for almost three weeks after that. But he did send out a nasty e-mail to all of the stores under his watch about "professional behavior" and "being a representative of the company". Man, I miss those days.
I spent over six hours yesterday with a buddy of mine, Puerto Rico wrestling sensation Mike Youngblood and we taped close to four hours of video for a "Mike Youngblood" shoot tape. A lot of people are going to be very, very upset. But it's good - damn good. I'll have more on that later.
I want to send best wishes out to Dewey "The Missing Link" Robertson, who is currently a patient at a hospital in Hamilton, Ontario, Canada. Robertson, age 68, is in a battle with cancer and from all reports, is not doing well at all. The thought and prayers of everyone here at "Tossing Salt Media, Inc" goes out to this legendary Canadian superstar for a speedy and full recovery.
I like cheezy scalloped potatoes. Yes indeed, I do.
Got a bulletin from the man, the myth, the legend, the hip-hop spellcaster, Soce the Elemental Wizard yesterday over at the MySpace. Here's the latest from the man himself:
"I just filmed me a new video today.. now I just gotta piece it all together. fyi it's mad dorky. you're gonna think I have a lot of free time. but I don't.
only about 2 hours per week, alas.
cheers,
soce
So we have something new and exciting to look forward to. And if it's Soce, you know it's going to be good. Learn more at www.greathiphop.com or www.myspace.com/soce. This guy gives new meaning to the word "character". And that's a good thing.
TNA has a PPV event later tonight? Are you watching it? I might - I haven't decided yet. Here's my predictions for the show:
Kazarian over Raven, Eric Young conquers Robert Roode, Dustin Rhodes defeats James Storm, LAX stops the James Gang, Sonjay Dutt & Jay Lethal get some help from big Kev to squeak a win over XXX & The Motor City Machine Guns, Rhino over James Storm in the Bar Room Brawl, The Steiner Brothers over Team 3D, Samoa Joe kills Kurt Angle dead and takes all the titles, The Christian Coalition (Cage, Styles, Tomko) over Sting, Abyss & Andrew "Punisher" Martin in the "Doomsday Chamber of Blood" main event. Christian takes the pin after a turn by Test.
An interesting card. Not a must-see, but somewhat intriquing anyhow. But no Jerry Lynn? No Christy Hemme? No Lance Hoyt? No Mr. Backlund? The main reasons I'd want to watch have the night off. Whassup with dat?
But we still have Jeremy Borasch & Don West, thank God!
No "Who Am I?" today - I'm just not in the mood.
You know what I am in the mood for?
Feeding ducks!
So I'm going to bail for now. I'm heading down to St. Andrews College and the lake.
I'm going to go feed the ducks.
So it's short and sweet (just like Lindsay Lohen's days of good behavior in between rehab stints) - that's the column.
Come visit me on MySpace at www.myspace.com/salt_palace.
Questions and comments can be sent to Doug28352@yahoo.com.
Until the next time, when I might actually have something of substance to say (but don't count on it), that's all folks!
I'm Doug and you're not!
And that's a shoot, brother!
Later!
August 12, 2007
Doug Maynard
"Cool Beans!" It's the new catch-phrase that's going to change the face of the world. It's so simple, even a caveman can use it!
Yeah, Geico is going to sue me for that!
What up all? I'm Doug and this is a rip roaring Sunday edition of pro-wrestling's most eclectic column, the often imitated, but never duplicated, "Tossing Salt- Worldwide News!"
Yeah, I'm back again! Just like that little pink bunny rabbit that plays the drums, this is the column that keeps going and going and going!
At least until nap time.
And then just leave a message. I'll have my girl call your girl - we'll do lunch! Don't ever change! Who loves ya, baby!
OK, let's get right to the nitty-gritty. This is (allegedly) a wrestling column, so let's talk wrestling.
Joey Mercury is back in the WWE (kind of). He was announced yesterday as the new "Head Trainer" of the OVW Beginners Class Program.
As you recall, Mercury was released by the WWE back in March after coming back way too soon from a sickening in-ring accident and having a steel ladder slammed into his face. Then (allegedly) a problem surfaced with Mercury's addiction to pain medication and he was given the pink slip by WWE officals.
And now, since Congress is breathing down the necks of WWE, Mercury is suddenly hired back out of the blue and positioned in OVW where he can collect an easy paycheck and at the same time, not be available as a hostile witness for Congressional hearings against the WWE.
Let's be serious here. Mercury had a problem. With the WWE's help, he got cleaned up and back on the straight and narrow. That's good. Then he was hurt and convinced by WWE management to "suck it up" and come back to the ring to work a program against the Hardys with then-partner Johnny Nitro. Mercury relapsed, due in part to the need of pain killers to deal with his injuries and in-ring return. The WWE kicked him to the curb without so much as a "thank you!".
And now, with the threat of government intervention in the WWE and a Congressional look at "Wellness" possibly coming up, WWE has decided that they'd rather have Mercury back all of a sudden? They don't want him testifying against them. That's all it is.
Maybe I'm wrong, but I think it's just a case of WWE covering their ass and making the potential red-flags less likely to act against them. If called now, expect Mercury to sing the company lines about "Wellness" and problems in professional wrestling. After all, you don't cross the man who's giving you a paycheck. Especially if it's a man known for his "ruthless agression" - both in kayfabe and real world terms.
But whatever the reason, I'm glad Mercury is back with the WWE. He's a good worker and MNM was always one of my favorite tag teams to watch. Melina, Nitro and Mercury bring out the best in each other and with Mercury only a phone call away from the WWE main-roster again, truthfully, can a MNM reunion be far away?
Another recent victim of the "Wellness" program is none other than "Rainbow Brite" Jeff Hardy. But unlike Mercury, Hardy got the 30-day unpaid vacation and his program with Umaga (and possibly another run as the IC champ) scrapped.
With all apologies to Afroman, Hardy is probably at home, strumming on his guitar, singing, "I was gonna be a champ, but I got high! I was gonna wear some gold, but I got high! Now I'm watching Matt on TV and letting out a big sigh, cause I'm high, cause I'm high, cause I'm high!" And then he turns to his girlfriend and asks "Where's the hair dye? I feel as fruity as a bag of skittles tonight!"
OK, that was wrong. I just implied that Hardy was both a pot-head and over-does it a bit with the hair color. My apologies! I like the multi-colored hair.
I shouldn't talk about Jeff and his fascination with all the pretty colors. True story here. Way back, when I was the store-manager for a small c-store down in Wilmington, NC, I was a bit on the wild-haired side myself. I had a rat-tail that went half-way down my back. And I got bored and dyed it blonde. But that wasn't enough so I dyed it lime green. And eventually settled on a very bright "hot pink". Yeah, I know - very professional. My District Manager was not very happy with me when he came to visit the store. There I was, his manager with a long, hot pink strand of hair going down past my shoulders. And Marshall & Steve, my two main employees and best friends at the time, had lime green hair & purple hair respectively. We were a colorful bunch, to say the least.
I don't know how we managed to avoid being fired. He (our supervisor) was so PO'ed when he saw us. But the store looked good - sales were up - inventory was good - money was good - etc. We just looked like clowns. I think that was all that saved us. But he didn't come back to visit my store (or talk to me) for almost three weeks after that. But he did send out a nasty e-mail to all of the stores under his watch about "professional behavior" and "being a representative of the company". Man, I miss those days.
I spent over six hours yesterday with a buddy of mine, Puerto Rico wrestling sensation Mike Youngblood and we taped close to four hours of video for a "Mike Youngblood" shoot tape. A lot of people are going to be very, very upset. But it's good - damn good. I'll have more on that later.
I want to send best wishes out to Dewey "The Missing Link" Robertson, who is currently a patient at a hospital in Hamilton, Ontario, Canada. Robertson, age 68, is in a battle with cancer and from all reports, is not doing well at all. The thought and prayers of everyone here at "Tossing Salt Media, Inc" goes out to this legendary Canadian superstar for a speedy and full recovery.
I like cheezy scalloped potatoes. Yes indeed, I do.
Got a bulletin from the man, the myth, the legend, the hip-hop spellcaster, Soce the Elemental Wizard yesterday over at the MySpace. Here's the latest from the man himself:
"I just filmed me a new video today.. now I just gotta piece it all together. fyi it's mad dorky. you're gonna think I have a lot of free time. but I don't.
only about 2 hours per week, alas.
cheers,
soce
So we have something new and exciting to look forward to. And if it's Soce, you know it's going to be good. Learn more at www.greathiphop.com or www.myspace.com/soce. This guy gives new meaning to the word "character". And that's a good thing.
TNA has a PPV event later tonight? Are you watching it? I might - I haven't decided yet. Here's my predictions for the show:
Kazarian over Raven, Eric Young conquers Robert Roode, Dustin Rhodes defeats James Storm, LAX stops the James Gang, Sonjay Dutt & Jay Lethal get some help from big Kev to squeak a win over XXX & The Motor City Machine Guns, Rhino over James Storm in the Bar Room Brawl, The Steiner Brothers over Team 3D, Samoa Joe kills Kurt Angle dead and takes all the titles, The Christian Coalition (Cage, Styles, Tomko) over Sting, Abyss & Andrew "Punisher" Martin in the "Doomsday Chamber of Blood" main event. Christian takes the pin after a turn by Test.
An interesting card. Not a must-see, but somewhat intriquing anyhow. But no Jerry Lynn? No Christy Hemme? No Lance Hoyt? No Mr. Backlund? The main reasons I'd want to watch have the night off. Whassup with dat?
But we still have Jeremy Borasch & Don West, thank God!
No "Who Am I?" today - I'm just not in the mood.
You know what I am in the mood for?
Feeding ducks!
So I'm going to bail for now. I'm heading down to St. Andrews College and the lake.
I'm going to go feed the ducks.
So it's short and sweet (just like Lindsay Lohen's days of good behavior in between rehab stints) - that's the column.
Come visit me on MySpace at www.myspace.com/salt_palace.
Questions and comments can be sent to Doug28352@yahoo.com.
Until the next time, when I might actually have something of substance to say (but don't count on it), that's all folks!
I'm Doug and you're not!
And that's a shoot, brother!
Later!
(Retro) Tossing Salt - Worldwide News: August 5, 2007
Tossing Salt - Worldwide News
August 5, 2007
Doug Maynard
I'm just in a mood to touch on a few subjects today. No real rhyme or reason - I'm just writing like I dance - like a white man having a seizure. So bear with me.
I'm Doug and this is the column that brought down the Berlin Wall. Seriously. It did. Well, maybe not. But if I had been writing the column back then and Reagan had seen it, heads would have rolled. And red jelly-beans too! Yay!
Let's get to cracking...
I just read today over at Gerweck.net that on the Saturday before he died, Chris Benoit and his son Daniel were spotted swimming at their home. I don't know if it's true, but that would be after his wife, Nancy was murdered and laying dead inside the house. It's kind of disturbing and creepy to me, but then again, even after two months, the whole scenario is still very creepy and disturbing to me. The only thing I can think of is that probably Chris was trying to give his son a final moment of happiness and joy. Chris knew what was coming. Daniel didn't have a clue. So he got one last moment of fun before the lights went out forever. I'm getting chills thinking about it.
Chris was still one of the greatest wrestlers of the past twenty years. It's a shame that three days of madness destroyed that legacy. I'll always appreciate the great matches, but now, every time I watch, especially the stuff from the "Horseman" days, with Woman in the background, it'll never be the same.
Speaking of destroyed legacies, I've come up with a way for the "King of Pop" Michael Jackson to salvage and resurrect his career. Michael's problem, aside from the quirky habits and alleged extracurricular activities with young boys, is that "Thriller" was so big and so over the top, he can't top it. His entire life since then has been sticking to the same formula and trying to catch lightning in a bottle twice.
It just doesn't happen.
The reason people like Madonna, Prince, Bon Jovi and countless country artists manage to stay viable in today's ever changing music market is that they take risks and constantly re-invent themselves. Michael needs to learn to do that.
But not with the usual Michael Jackson "freak show" mentality. He needs to get back to the basics and get back in touch with his roots. To do this, I suggest three things.
Go accoustic. My favorite song by Michael Jackson is one that was written and performed long before he ever became the "King of Pop". You might have heard it - it's a song of friendship for a rat named "Ben". Make a Michael Jackson album of nothng but Michael and a piano singing the classics that we all know and love - covers of his own tunes as well as a few others that you might not expect from Jackson. Willie Nelson's biggest album ever was "Red Headed Stranger" which is nothing but Willie and a guitar. Willie's been a top dog for over 40 years. It's a strategy that works.
Do "Unplugged". Who wouldn't like to see Michael Jackson and a small band entertain a room of no more that 30 - 40 fans. No over the top dance numbers or electronic techno babble - just Michael singing and the band playing. A live MTV special released as an album. It'd do massive sales - believe it.
Drop the entourage. Become a "real person" again. Go to Wal-Mart. Take the kids to the park. Dress like a normal person and just be a normal middle-aged man. No falsetto voice - no military outfits - none of the "clown act". Just be a great song writer and entertiainer and the results will happen.
Michael has so much talent and it's all lost and buried beneath the scandals and the whole "Eccentric" routine. It's a shame. But with just a few steps, as I've outlined above, he could be on top again. Fans will forgive scandals. If the music is good enough - and he's more than capable of making the music - that really should be all that matters.
My buddy, Mike Youngblood is making waves on the NC Indy scene and fixing to kick some booty in Japan once again very soon. Remember that name - you're going to be hearing a lot more about this guy.
Triple H is due back at SummerSlam. I'll be glad to see Hunter back in the WWE and on TV again. I only hate that King Booker will end up getting squashed and buried as a result. I'd love to see King Booker and Sharmell actually go over Hunter at SummerSlam. Surprise everyone by showing just how evil and desperate Booker is to be the "King" of RAW. HHH underestimates Booker and goes down to defeat in their initial encounter. Then we get to see the "Cerebral Assassin" at work as Hunter comes back for revenge and with the fans cheering him on, gets payback at the next PPV after SummerSlam. Then we get the rubber match and HHH can get his squash, but by then, everyone will realize that King Booker is the real deal - something us long-time fans all know about the former 5-time WCW World Champion and Booker can move on to a program with Mr. Kennedy perhaps while HHH goes after WWE Champion Randy Orton. Make the feud last and make it worth the wait.
Yeah, I should be writing for the WWE.
I mentioned in my last column that Jamie Noble, aside from being one of the top Cruiserweights on Smackdown, is also working as a "producer" for the WWE and is laying out and booking most of the Cruiserweight matches. So that means all the clown-acts that Jamie has been put through lately (being pinned twice by Hornswaggle, getting pied in the face) have had the creative imput from... Jamie Noble.
He may look like a fool, but at least he's getting on TV again on a regular basis. And we've been seeing some great Cruiserweight matches as well. Say what you will about the "Redneck Messiah", but he's no dummy. He's getting stuff done.
Several contracts at TNA are coming up for renewal in the next few months. With the large number of injuries recently in the WWE, not to mention the suspensions (Jeff Hardy), I think this might be a good time for some of the TNA talent to call up Johnny Ace and inquire about a job.
I don't know who's contracts at TNA are ending, but I can speculate. Can you imagine a tag team of Sonjay Dutt & Daivari taking on Kendrick & London? How about Jerry Lynn facing off against King Booker? Lance Hoyt battling Batista? Senshi challenging CM Punk? And Kip & BG James battling HHH & HBK? It's liable to get mighty interesting in the next few months. And I'm all for it. We need a few new faces and some new blood in WWE. And if it comes from the veins of TNA, well, so be it!
TNA needs to have a drug-testing program of some type. But then again, who would Raven, X-Pac or Kurt Angle have left to work for if that happened?
I've heard TNA might be interested in bringing in Noble's former squeeze, Nidia. That might be OK, but if they want to bring in a Diva that matters, how about Ivory? Or Jazz? Even Missy Hyatt could be interesting. After all, think of all the young new talent in TNA that she hasn't slept with yet. It could be an experience for everyone and I mean that in the best possible way, of course.
Miss Jackie is no longer under contract with TNA. How long do you think it will be before we see her back at the side of Charlie Haas in the WWE? Soon, I hope. Or just bring her back and stick her with Rico. In what role? Keep reading and see.
The Countdown Begins Now..... Five To Go...
Vince returns to RAW tomorrow night. I thought he was blown up? Oh well, if the Undertaker can return from the dead numerous times, why can't his boss, Satan...
I mean Vince?
I hope Linda returns too. I've had trouble sleeping lately. And she's better than Sominex.
Coach has gotten another job with the MSG Network. It's a big time on-air role for the former Kansas City Sports Reporter. I wonder if that means that WWE and RAW will be looking for a new Interim GM?
I wonder if Rico is available?
Admit it - Rico as the "GM of RAW" would just be fabulous.
But if not him, give it to William Regal or Stevie Richards.
Cause they're pretty awesome too!
Corey Haim & Corey Feldman have a show coming up soon on A&E called "The Two Coreys". I used to like those guys. "Lost Boys" was and is the bomb. But a reality show? Give me a break! Next thing you know, Chachi will have a reality show of his own too.
Oh yeah, he does. And it's produced by Eric Bischoff & Jason Hervey. My god, Bischoff! Giving us Roma as a Horseman wasn't enough? And now Scott Baio reality TV too?
Good thing I like Eric. This show however, is going to be a train wreck. So is the "Corey" show. And I plan on watching both every chance I get.
But the drink - WWE Socko? Eric has a hand in that too. And it sucks! Just thought I'd let you know.
This month is the 20th Anniversary of the original release of Guns & Roses "Appetite for Destruction" Has it really been that long? I've still got my original vinyl album and of course, the cassette and the CD copies as well. And even now, that whole album, from start to finish, rocks! The majority of the original band is now involved with the group "Velvet Revolver". And Axl - he's still working on the yet-to-be released album "Chinese Democracy". It'll never happen in our lifetime, but wouldn't it be nice to see Axl, Slash, Duff, Izzy & Steven all get together and do maybe a one-time concert to commemorate the marking of the album that changed the face of music in the 80's and brought back metal to the masses.
And maybe they could have the acoustic Michael Jackson open for them.
Yeah, that would rock.
I've got more to say, but I don't feel like writing anymore. So I'm going to quit for now. Short and simple today.
But I'll be back.
Soon.
Visit me at MySpace and become part of the "Tossing Salt Fan Nation" - become a "Saltine" and go crackers.
www.myspace.com/salt_palace.
So until the next time....
"Dat is all 'de people need to know!"
I'm Doug and I'm gone...
August 5, 2007
Doug Maynard
I'm just in a mood to touch on a few subjects today. No real rhyme or reason - I'm just writing like I dance - like a white man having a seizure. So bear with me.
I'm Doug and this is the column that brought down the Berlin Wall. Seriously. It did. Well, maybe not. But if I had been writing the column back then and Reagan had seen it, heads would have rolled. And red jelly-beans too! Yay!
Let's get to cracking...
I just read today over at Gerweck.net that on the Saturday before he died, Chris Benoit and his son Daniel were spotted swimming at their home. I don't know if it's true, but that would be after his wife, Nancy was murdered and laying dead inside the house. It's kind of disturbing and creepy to me, but then again, even after two months, the whole scenario is still very creepy and disturbing to me. The only thing I can think of is that probably Chris was trying to give his son a final moment of happiness and joy. Chris knew what was coming. Daniel didn't have a clue. So he got one last moment of fun before the lights went out forever. I'm getting chills thinking about it.
Chris was still one of the greatest wrestlers of the past twenty years. It's a shame that three days of madness destroyed that legacy. I'll always appreciate the great matches, but now, every time I watch, especially the stuff from the "Horseman" days, with Woman in the background, it'll never be the same.
Speaking of destroyed legacies, I've come up with a way for the "King of Pop" Michael Jackson to salvage and resurrect his career. Michael's problem, aside from the quirky habits and alleged extracurricular activities with young boys, is that "Thriller" was so big and so over the top, he can't top it. His entire life since then has been sticking to the same formula and trying to catch lightning in a bottle twice.
It just doesn't happen.
The reason people like Madonna, Prince, Bon Jovi and countless country artists manage to stay viable in today's ever changing music market is that they take risks and constantly re-invent themselves. Michael needs to learn to do that.
But not with the usual Michael Jackson "freak show" mentality. He needs to get back to the basics and get back in touch with his roots. To do this, I suggest three things.
Go accoustic. My favorite song by Michael Jackson is one that was written and performed long before he ever became the "King of Pop". You might have heard it - it's a song of friendship for a rat named "Ben". Make a Michael Jackson album of nothng but Michael and a piano singing the classics that we all know and love - covers of his own tunes as well as a few others that you might not expect from Jackson. Willie Nelson's biggest album ever was "Red Headed Stranger" which is nothing but Willie and a guitar. Willie's been a top dog for over 40 years. It's a strategy that works.
Do "Unplugged". Who wouldn't like to see Michael Jackson and a small band entertain a room of no more that 30 - 40 fans. No over the top dance numbers or electronic techno babble - just Michael singing and the band playing. A live MTV special released as an album. It'd do massive sales - believe it.
Drop the entourage. Become a "real person" again. Go to Wal-Mart. Take the kids to the park. Dress like a normal person and just be a normal middle-aged man. No falsetto voice - no military outfits - none of the "clown act". Just be a great song writer and entertiainer and the results will happen.
Michael has so much talent and it's all lost and buried beneath the scandals and the whole "Eccentric" routine. It's a shame. But with just a few steps, as I've outlined above, he could be on top again. Fans will forgive scandals. If the music is good enough - and he's more than capable of making the music - that really should be all that matters.
My buddy, Mike Youngblood is making waves on the NC Indy scene and fixing to kick some booty in Japan once again very soon. Remember that name - you're going to be hearing a lot more about this guy.
Triple H is due back at SummerSlam. I'll be glad to see Hunter back in the WWE and on TV again. I only hate that King Booker will end up getting squashed and buried as a result. I'd love to see King Booker and Sharmell actually go over Hunter at SummerSlam. Surprise everyone by showing just how evil and desperate Booker is to be the "King" of RAW. HHH underestimates Booker and goes down to defeat in their initial encounter. Then we get to see the "Cerebral Assassin" at work as Hunter comes back for revenge and with the fans cheering him on, gets payback at the next PPV after SummerSlam. Then we get the rubber match and HHH can get his squash, but by then, everyone will realize that King Booker is the real deal - something us long-time fans all know about the former 5-time WCW World Champion and Booker can move on to a program with Mr. Kennedy perhaps while HHH goes after WWE Champion Randy Orton. Make the feud last and make it worth the wait.
Yeah, I should be writing for the WWE.
I mentioned in my last column that Jamie Noble, aside from being one of the top Cruiserweights on Smackdown, is also working as a "producer" for the WWE and is laying out and booking most of the Cruiserweight matches. So that means all the clown-acts that Jamie has been put through lately (being pinned twice by Hornswaggle, getting pied in the face) have had the creative imput from... Jamie Noble.
He may look like a fool, but at least he's getting on TV again on a regular basis. And we've been seeing some great Cruiserweight matches as well. Say what you will about the "Redneck Messiah", but he's no dummy. He's getting stuff done.
Several contracts at TNA are coming up for renewal in the next few months. With the large number of injuries recently in the WWE, not to mention the suspensions (Jeff Hardy), I think this might be a good time for some of the TNA talent to call up Johnny Ace and inquire about a job.
I don't know who's contracts at TNA are ending, but I can speculate. Can you imagine a tag team of Sonjay Dutt & Daivari taking on Kendrick & London? How about Jerry Lynn facing off against King Booker? Lance Hoyt battling Batista? Senshi challenging CM Punk? And Kip & BG James battling HHH & HBK? It's liable to get mighty interesting in the next few months. And I'm all for it. We need a few new faces and some new blood in WWE. And if it comes from the veins of TNA, well, so be it!
TNA needs to have a drug-testing program of some type. But then again, who would Raven, X-Pac or Kurt Angle have left to work for if that happened?
I've heard TNA might be interested in bringing in Noble's former squeeze, Nidia. That might be OK, but if they want to bring in a Diva that matters, how about Ivory? Or Jazz? Even Missy Hyatt could be interesting. After all, think of all the young new talent in TNA that she hasn't slept with yet. It could be an experience for everyone and I mean that in the best possible way, of course.
Miss Jackie is no longer under contract with TNA. How long do you think it will be before we see her back at the side of Charlie Haas in the WWE? Soon, I hope. Or just bring her back and stick her with Rico. In what role? Keep reading and see.
The Countdown Begins Now..... Five To Go...
Vince returns to RAW tomorrow night. I thought he was blown up? Oh well, if the Undertaker can return from the dead numerous times, why can't his boss, Satan...
I mean Vince?
I hope Linda returns too. I've had trouble sleeping lately. And she's better than Sominex.
Coach has gotten another job with the MSG Network. It's a big time on-air role for the former Kansas City Sports Reporter. I wonder if that means that WWE and RAW will be looking for a new Interim GM?
I wonder if Rico is available?
Admit it - Rico as the "GM of RAW" would just be fabulous.
But if not him, give it to William Regal or Stevie Richards.
Cause they're pretty awesome too!
Corey Haim & Corey Feldman have a show coming up soon on A&E called "The Two Coreys". I used to like those guys. "Lost Boys" was and is the bomb. But a reality show? Give me a break! Next thing you know, Chachi will have a reality show of his own too.
Oh yeah, he does. And it's produced by Eric Bischoff & Jason Hervey. My god, Bischoff! Giving us Roma as a Horseman wasn't enough? And now Scott Baio reality TV too?
Good thing I like Eric. This show however, is going to be a train wreck. So is the "Corey" show. And I plan on watching both every chance I get.
But the drink - WWE Socko? Eric has a hand in that too. And it sucks! Just thought I'd let you know.
This month is the 20th Anniversary of the original release of Guns & Roses "Appetite for Destruction" Has it really been that long? I've still got my original vinyl album and of course, the cassette and the CD copies as well. And even now, that whole album, from start to finish, rocks! The majority of the original band is now involved with the group "Velvet Revolver". And Axl - he's still working on the yet-to-be released album "Chinese Democracy". It'll never happen in our lifetime, but wouldn't it be nice to see Axl, Slash, Duff, Izzy & Steven all get together and do maybe a one-time concert to commemorate the marking of the album that changed the face of music in the 80's and brought back metal to the masses.
And maybe they could have the acoustic Michael Jackson open for them.
Yeah, that would rock.
I've got more to say, but I don't feel like writing anymore. So I'm going to quit for now. Short and simple today.
But I'll be back.
Soon.
Visit me at MySpace and become part of the "Tossing Salt Fan Nation" - become a "Saltine" and go crackers.
www.myspace.com/salt_palace.
So until the next time....
"Dat is all 'de people need to know!"
I'm Doug and I'm gone...
(Retro) Tossing Salt - Worldwide News: August 5, 2007
Tossing Salt - Worldwide News
August 5, 2007
Doug Maynard
I'm just in a mood to touch on a few subjects today. No real rhyme or reason - I'm just writing like I dance - like a white man having a seizure. So bear with me.
I'm Doug and this is the column that brought down the Berlin Wall. Seriously. It did. Well, maybe not. But if I had been writing the column back then and Reagan had seen it, heads would have rolled. And red jelly-beans too! Yay!
Let's get to cracking...
I just read today over at Gerweck.net that on the Saturday before he died, Chris Benoit and his son Daniel were spotted swimming at their home. I don't know if it's true, but that would be after his wife, Nancy was murdered and laying dead inside the house. It's kind of disturbing and creepy to me, but then again, even after two months, the whole scenario is still very creepy and disturbing to me. The only thing I can think of is that probably Chris was trying to give his son a final moment of happiness and joy. Chris knew what was coming. Daniel didn't have a clue. So he got one last moment of fun before the lights went out forever. I'm getting chills thinking about it.
Chris was still one of the greatest wrestlers of the past twenty years. It's a shame that three days of madness destroyed that legacy. I'll always appreciate the great matches, but now, every time I watch, especially the stuff from the "Horseman" days, with Woman in the background, it'll never be the same.
Speaking of destroyed legacies, I've come up with a way for the "King of Pop" Michael Jackson to salvage and resurrect his career. Michael's problem, aside from the quirky habits and alleged extracurricular activities with young boys, is that "Thriller" was so big and so over the top, he can't top it. His entire life since then has been sticking to the same formula and trying to catch lightning in a bottle twice.
It just doesn't happen.
The reason people like Madonna, Prince, Bon Jovi and countless country artists manage to stay viable in today's ever changing music market is that they take risks and constantly re-invent themselves. Michael needs to learn to do that.
But not with the usual Michael Jackson "freak show" mentality. He needs to get back to the basics and get back in touch with his roots. To do this, I suggest three things.
Go accoustic. My favorite song by Michael Jackson is one that was written and performed long before he ever became the "King of Pop". You might have heard it - it's a song of friendship for a rat named "Ben". Make a Michael Jackson album of nothng but Michael and a piano singing the classics that we all know and love - covers of his own tunes as well as a few others that you might not expect from Jackson. Willie Nelson's biggest album ever was "Red Headed Stranger" which is nothing but Willie and a guitar. Willie's been a top dog for over 40 years. It's a strategy that works.
Do "Unplugged". Who wouldn't like to see Michael Jackson and a small band entertain a room of no more that 30 - 40 fans. No over the top dance numbers or electronic techno babble - just Michael singing and the band playing. A live MTV special released as an album. It'd do massive sales - believe it.
Drop the entourage. Become a "real person" again. Go to Wal-Mart. Take the kids to the park. Dress like a normal person and just be a normal middle-aged man. No falsetto voice - no military outfits - none of the "clown act". Just be a great song writer and entertiainer and the results will happen.
Michael has so much talent and it's all lost and buried beneath the scandals and the whole "Eccentric" routine. It's a shame. But with just a few steps, as I've outlined above, he could be on top again. Fans will forgive scandals. If the music is good enough - and he's more than capable of making the music - that really should be all that matters.
My buddy, Mike Youngblood is making waves on the NC Indy scene and fixing to kick some booty in Japan once again very soon. Remember that name - you're going to be hearing a lot more about this guy.
Triple H is due back at SummerSlam. I'll be glad to see Hunter back in the WWE and on TV again. I only hate that King Booker will end up getting squashed and buried as a result. I'd love to see King Booker and Sharmell actually go over Hunter at SummerSlam. Surprise everyone by showing just how evil and desperate Booker is to be the "King" of RAW. HHH underestimates Booker and goes down to defeat in their initial encounter. Then we get to see the "Cerebral Assassin" at work as Hunter comes back for revenge and with the fans cheering him on, gets payback at the next PPV after SummerSlam. Then we get the rubber match and HHH can get his squash, but by then, everyone will realize that King Booker is the real deal - something us long-time fans all know about the former 5-time WCW World Champion and Booker can move on to a program with Mr. Kennedy perhaps while HHH goes after WWE Champion Randy Orton. Make the feud last and make it worth the wait.
Yeah, I should be writing for the WWE.
I mentioned in my last column that Jamie Noble, aside from being one of the top Cruiserweights on Smackdown, is also working as a "producer" for the WWE and is laying out and booking most of the Cruiserweight matches. So that means all the clown-acts that Jamie has been put through lately (being pinned twice by Hornswaggle, getting pied in the face) have had the creative imput from... Jamie Noble.
He may look like a fool, but at least he's getting on TV again on a regular basis. And we've been seeing some great Cruiserweight matches as well. Say what you will about the "Redneck Messiah", but he's no dummy. He's getting stuff done.
Several contracts at TNA are coming up for renewal in the next few months. With the large number of injuries recently in the WWE, not to mention the suspensions (Jeff Hardy), I think this might be a good time for some of the TNA talent to call up Johnny Ace and inquire about a job.
I don't know who's contracts at TNA are ending, but I can speculate. Can you imagine a tag team of Sonjay Dutt & Daivari taking on Kendrick & London? How about Jerry Lynn facing off against King Booker? Lance Hoyt battling Batista? Senshi challenging CM Punk? And Kip & BG James battling HHH & HBK? It's liable to get mighty interesting in the next few months. And I'm all for it. We need a few new faces and some new blood in WWE. And if it comes from the veins of TNA, well, so be it!
TNA needs to have a drug-testing program of some type. But then again, who would Raven, X-Pac or Kurt Angle have left to work for if that happened?
I've heard TNA might be interested in bringing in Noble's former squeeze, Nidia. That might be OK, but if they want to bring in a Diva that matters, how about Ivory? Or Jazz? Even Missy Hyatt could be interesting. After all, think of all the young new talent in TNA that she hasn't slept with yet. It could be an experience for everyone and I mean that in the best possible way, of course.
Miss Jackie is no longer under contract with TNA. How long do you think it will be before we see her back at the side of Charlie Haas in the WWE? Soon, I hope. Or just bring her back and stick her with Rico. In what role? Keep reading and see.
The Countdown Begins Now..... Five To Go...
Vince returns to RAW tomorrow night. I thought he was blown up? Oh well, if the Undertaker can return from the dead numerous times, why can't his boss, Satan...
I mean Vince?
I hope Linda returns too. I've had trouble sleeping lately. And she's better than Sominex.
Coach has gotten another job with the MSG Network. It's a big time on-air role for the former Kansas City Sports Reporter. I wonder if that means that WWE and RAW will be looking for a new Interim GM?
I wonder if Rico is available?
Admit it - Rico as the "GM of RAW" would just be fabulous.
But if not him, give it to William Regal or Stevie Richards.
Cause they're pretty awesome too!
Corey Haim & Corey Feldman have a show coming up soon on A&E called "The Two Coreys". I used to like those guys. "Lost Boys" was and is the bomb. But a reality show? Give me a break! Next thing you know, Chachi will have a reality show of his own too.
Oh yeah, he does. And it's produced by Eric Bischoff & Jason Hervey. My god, Bischoff! Giving us Roma as a Horseman wasn't enough? And now Scott Baio reality TV too?
Good thing I like Eric. This show however, is going to be a train wreck. So is the "Corey" show. And I plan on watching both every chance I get.
But the drink - WWE Socko? Eric has a hand in that too. And it sucks! Just thought I'd let you know.
This month is the 20th Anniversary of the original release of Guns & Roses "Appetite for Destruction" Has it really been that long? I've still got my original vinyl album and of course, the cassette and the CD copies as well. And even now, that whole album, from start to finish, rocks! The majority of the original band is now involved with the group "Velvet Revolver". And Axl - he's still working on the yet-to-be released album "Chinese Democracy". It'll never happen in our lifetime, but wouldn't it be nice to see Axl, Slash, Duff, Izzy & Steven all get together and do maybe a one-time concert to commemorate the marking of the album that changed the face of music in the 80's and brought back metal to the masses.
And maybe they could have the acoustic Michael Jackson open for them.
Yeah, that would rock.
I've got more to say, but I don't feel like writing anymore. So I'm going to quit for now. Short and simple today.
But I'll be back.
Soon.
Visit me at MySpace and become part of the "Tossing Salt Fan Nation" - become a "Saltine" and go crackers.
www.myspace.com/salt_palace.
So until the next time....
"Dat is all 'de people need to know!"
I'm Doug and I'm gone...
August 5, 2007
Doug Maynard
I'm just in a mood to touch on a few subjects today. No real rhyme or reason - I'm just writing like I dance - like a white man having a seizure. So bear with me.
I'm Doug and this is the column that brought down the Berlin Wall. Seriously. It did. Well, maybe not. But if I had been writing the column back then and Reagan had seen it, heads would have rolled. And red jelly-beans too! Yay!
Let's get to cracking...
I just read today over at Gerweck.net that on the Saturday before he died, Chris Benoit and his son Daniel were spotted swimming at their home. I don't know if it's true, but that would be after his wife, Nancy was murdered and laying dead inside the house. It's kind of disturbing and creepy to me, but then again, even after two months, the whole scenario is still very creepy and disturbing to me. The only thing I can think of is that probably Chris was trying to give his son a final moment of happiness and joy. Chris knew what was coming. Daniel didn't have a clue. So he got one last moment of fun before the lights went out forever. I'm getting chills thinking about it.
Chris was still one of the greatest wrestlers of the past twenty years. It's a shame that three days of madness destroyed that legacy. I'll always appreciate the great matches, but now, every time I watch, especially the stuff from the "Horseman" days, with Woman in the background, it'll never be the same.
Speaking of destroyed legacies, I've come up with a way for the "King of Pop" Michael Jackson to salvage and resurrect his career. Michael's problem, aside from the quirky habits and alleged extracurricular activities with young boys, is that "Thriller" was so big and so over the top, he can't top it. His entire life since then has been sticking to the same formula and trying to catch lightning in a bottle twice.
It just doesn't happen.
The reason people like Madonna, Prince, Bon Jovi and countless country artists manage to stay viable in today's ever changing music market is that they take risks and constantly re-invent themselves. Michael needs to learn to do that.
But not with the usual Michael Jackson "freak show" mentality. He needs to get back to the basics and get back in touch with his roots. To do this, I suggest three things.
Go accoustic. My favorite song by Michael Jackson is one that was written and performed long before he ever became the "King of Pop". You might have heard it - it's a song of friendship for a rat named "Ben". Make a Michael Jackson album of nothng but Michael and a piano singing the classics that we all know and love - covers of his own tunes as well as a few others that you might not expect from Jackson. Willie Nelson's biggest album ever was "Red Headed Stranger" which is nothing but Willie and a guitar. Willie's been a top dog for over 40 years. It's a strategy that works.
Do "Unplugged". Who wouldn't like to see Michael Jackson and a small band entertain a room of no more that 30 - 40 fans. No over the top dance numbers or electronic techno babble - just Michael singing and the band playing. A live MTV special released as an album. It'd do massive sales - believe it.
Drop the entourage. Become a "real person" again. Go to Wal-Mart. Take the kids to the park. Dress like a normal person and just be a normal middle-aged man. No falsetto voice - no military outfits - none of the "clown act". Just be a great song writer and entertiainer and the results will happen.
Michael has so much talent and it's all lost and buried beneath the scandals and the whole "Eccentric" routine. It's a shame. But with just a few steps, as I've outlined above, he could be on top again. Fans will forgive scandals. If the music is good enough - and he's more than capable of making the music - that really should be all that matters.
My buddy, Mike Youngblood is making waves on the NC Indy scene and fixing to kick some booty in Japan once again very soon. Remember that name - you're going to be hearing a lot more about this guy.
Triple H is due back at SummerSlam. I'll be glad to see Hunter back in the WWE and on TV again. I only hate that King Booker will end up getting squashed and buried as a result. I'd love to see King Booker and Sharmell actually go over Hunter at SummerSlam. Surprise everyone by showing just how evil and desperate Booker is to be the "King" of RAW. HHH underestimates Booker and goes down to defeat in their initial encounter. Then we get to see the "Cerebral Assassin" at work as Hunter comes back for revenge and with the fans cheering him on, gets payback at the next PPV after SummerSlam. Then we get the rubber match and HHH can get his squash, but by then, everyone will realize that King Booker is the real deal - something us long-time fans all know about the former 5-time WCW World Champion and Booker can move on to a program with Mr. Kennedy perhaps while HHH goes after WWE Champion Randy Orton. Make the feud last and make it worth the wait.
Yeah, I should be writing for the WWE.
I mentioned in my last column that Jamie Noble, aside from being one of the top Cruiserweights on Smackdown, is also working as a "producer" for the WWE and is laying out and booking most of the Cruiserweight matches. So that means all the clown-acts that Jamie has been put through lately (being pinned twice by Hornswaggle, getting pied in the face) have had the creative imput from... Jamie Noble.
He may look like a fool, but at least he's getting on TV again on a regular basis. And we've been seeing some great Cruiserweight matches as well. Say what you will about the "Redneck Messiah", but he's no dummy. He's getting stuff done.
Several contracts at TNA are coming up for renewal in the next few months. With the large number of injuries recently in the WWE, not to mention the suspensions (Jeff Hardy), I think this might be a good time for some of the TNA talent to call up Johnny Ace and inquire about a job.
I don't know who's contracts at TNA are ending, but I can speculate. Can you imagine a tag team of Sonjay Dutt & Daivari taking on Kendrick & London? How about Jerry Lynn facing off against King Booker? Lance Hoyt battling Batista? Senshi challenging CM Punk? And Kip & BG James battling HHH & HBK? It's liable to get mighty interesting in the next few months. And I'm all for it. We need a few new faces and some new blood in WWE. And if it comes from the veins of TNA, well, so be it!
TNA needs to have a drug-testing program of some type. But then again, who would Raven, X-Pac or Kurt Angle have left to work for if that happened?
I've heard TNA might be interested in bringing in Noble's former squeeze, Nidia. That might be OK, but if they want to bring in a Diva that matters, how about Ivory? Or Jazz? Even Missy Hyatt could be interesting. After all, think of all the young new talent in TNA that she hasn't slept with yet. It could be an experience for everyone and I mean that in the best possible way, of course.
Miss Jackie is no longer under contract with TNA. How long do you think it will be before we see her back at the side of Charlie Haas in the WWE? Soon, I hope. Or just bring her back and stick her with Rico. In what role? Keep reading and see.
The Countdown Begins Now..... Five To Go...
Vince returns to RAW tomorrow night. I thought he was blown up? Oh well, if the Undertaker can return from the dead numerous times, why can't his boss, Satan...
I mean Vince?
I hope Linda returns too. I've had trouble sleeping lately. And she's better than Sominex.
Coach has gotten another job with the MSG Network. It's a big time on-air role for the former Kansas City Sports Reporter. I wonder if that means that WWE and RAW will be looking for a new Interim GM?
I wonder if Rico is available?
Admit it - Rico as the "GM of RAW" would just be fabulous.
But if not him, give it to William Regal or Stevie Richards.
Cause they're pretty awesome too!
Corey Haim & Corey Feldman have a show coming up soon on A&E called "The Two Coreys". I used to like those guys. "Lost Boys" was and is the bomb. But a reality show? Give me a break! Next thing you know, Chachi will have a reality show of his own too.
Oh yeah, he does. And it's produced by Eric Bischoff & Jason Hervey. My god, Bischoff! Giving us Roma as a Horseman wasn't enough? And now Scott Baio reality TV too?
Good thing I like Eric. This show however, is going to be a train wreck. So is the "Corey" show. And I plan on watching both every chance I get.
But the drink - WWE Socko? Eric has a hand in that too. And it sucks! Just thought I'd let you know.
This month is the 20th Anniversary of the original release of Guns & Roses "Appetite for Destruction" Has it really been that long? I've still got my original vinyl album and of course, the cassette and the CD copies as well. And even now, that whole album, from start to finish, rocks! The majority of the original band is now involved with the group "Velvet Revolver". And Axl - he's still working on the yet-to-be released album "Chinese Democracy". It'll never happen in our lifetime, but wouldn't it be nice to see Axl, Slash, Duff, Izzy & Steven all get together and do maybe a one-time concert to commemorate the marking of the album that changed the face of music in the 80's and brought back metal to the masses.
And maybe they could have the acoustic Michael Jackson open for them.
Yeah, that would rock.
I've got more to say, but I don't feel like writing anymore. So I'm going to quit for now. Short and simple today.
But I'll be back.
Soon.
Visit me at MySpace and become part of the "Tossing Salt Fan Nation" - become a "Saltine" and go crackers.
www.myspace.com/salt_palace.
So until the next time....
"Dat is all 'de people need to know!"
I'm Doug and I'm gone...
(Rertro) Tossing Salt - Worldwide News: July 22, 2007
Tossing Salt - Worldwide News
July 22, 2007
Doug Maynard
doug28352@yahoo.com
www.myspace.com/salt_palace
So much to hit on and so little time to do it. Life is crazy and rushed and I've been feeling the sting over the past few weeks quite often. It's just like a bee sting except it doesn't swell up quite as much.
So let's jump into it, OK? I've got three pages worth of notes to cover - and I'm sure that more topics will come to mind as I work my way down the list, so go get a drink from the kitchen and pack a lunch. It's going to be a long one today.
I'm Doug and this is the most eclectic professional wrestling column in the Western Hemisphere outside of Detroit. Nothing is more eclectic than Detroit.
We call it "Tossing Salt - Worldwide News".
To start off, I want to mention that the MIWA will be holding a "Super Show" at the National Guard Armory here in Laurinburg, NC on Saturday, July 28th. The main event for this show is a "Tables, Ladders & Chairs" match between The Main Attraction (Scott Powers / "Pure Pleasure" Chris Steele) versus Zack Salvation & Cravin Slatter. Plus a "Last Man Standing" match between Jack Hammer versus Rowdy James. Other superstars scheduled to appear are The Monster Rage, Team Ego, Phil Shatter, The Outlaw Dino James, Rudy the Firebreaker, B & D Productions and many, many more.
One thing about the MIWA Shows - they always give 150% and leave the fans wanting more. I've never heard anyone complain about the quality of these events and that says quite about the promotion and the MIWA Superstars as well. If you get the chance to come to the 'Burg and see the show, I'd strongly encourage it. Or you can read the results and a first-hand recap of all the action right here at "TS - WWN". Yeah, you know I'm going.
Has anyone else noticed just how much face time on WWE Raw that William Regal has been getting as of late. First he was the "Temporary GM" while Coach went on Holiday and then he's been all over the place, in matches with Sandman, skits with Coach and Hacksaw Duggan and finally, a four-way elimination match last week on RAW. This is a great move by the WWE as Regal is one of the most respected and talented men on the WWE roster. He can wrestle. He can talk. He's the master of the "facial expressions" and just has a strong presence and aura about him that, no matter what he's doing, reeks of dignity and class.
I'd love to see Regal moved to the full-time role of "GM" for WWE Raw. Nothing personal against Coach, but no one takes him seriously as the "Interim General Manager". Regal though, has been a "Commissioner" for Smackdown, for the "Alliance", and has moved back and forth between a wrestling role and these "authority" roles so easily, he is instantly credible and a viable force to be reckoned with. And I'd much rather see Regal booking matches and hosting "contract signings" between Cena & Lashley than Coach anytime. But if that's not possible, then how about Intercontinental Champion William Regal? I'd watch that too.
Speaking of GM's, ECW on Sci-Fi desperately needs a "figure-head" to "run things" on their show and brand. RAW has one even if it is Coach. Smackdown has two "leaders" in Teddy Long and Vickie Guerrero. But poor little ECW, the "bastard child" of the WWE, hasn't has a leader on TV since Paul Heyman was sent home back in December.
So who should it be? My choices would be Stevie (Former GM of "Sunday Night Heat" and former leader of "RTC") Richards. Or Al Snow. Can you imagine a board meeting between Al Snow and Head? Sounds like good TV to me.
I keep hearing that BG James & Kip James (aka Road Dogg & Billy Gunn) have repeatedly asked for a release from their TNA contracts, but TNA won't give it to them. I don't know why, but for some reason, I think that eventually, we'll be seeing a "DX" versus "DX" feud in the WWE - probably at the start of next year with HHH & HBK versus The New Age Outlaws. That is, if VKM can ever get their releases from TNA. First a feud between the two groups and then an eventual reunion for one last run with nostalgia. Can you smell the merchandising? It'll happen sooner rather than later. Watch and see.
Speaking of watch and see, mind if I get political for a second? I've listened to most of the candidiates and watched the various debates so far. And I'll go ahead and say it now. The 2008 U.S. Presidential Election will be a tightly contested race between the team of Rudy Guiliani & Fred Thompson running on the Republican ticket against the team of Hillary Clinton & John Edwards on the Democratic side.
And the whole election will come down to a matter of dislike - do the voters dislike the Republicans (and George W. Bush) more because of the war in Iraq or do they dislike the Democrats more because well, it's Hillary and she's not a very likable or trust-worthy person? She's easily the most qualified of the four I mentioned to be in that high office after already having been a part of it for eight years during her husband's administration, but her negatives are so prominent, will her intelligence be enough to overcome her honesty and personality flaws? Usually, the voters tend to go for personality & comfort more than actual qualifications, so it's anyone's ball game at this point.
I think, honestly, that it'll be Guiliani & Thompson as the next two men in power. I might be wrong. I might not. But we could do much worse. We could also do much better, but the best people for the job never seem to want to run for it. *Sighs* Guess we'll have to wait and see. But when you step into that voting booth in November of 2008 and see Guiliani / Thompson versus Clinton / Edwards, just remember, I told you so.
Did I mention that my brother has filed to run for Mayor of the town of East Laurinburg, NC? A Maynard in politics? That's scary! He's a smart guy and could probably do a good job. And that would make me, if he happens to win, the "First Brother" of East 'Burg. And in the tradition of Billy Carter, Roger Clinton and Neil Bush, I would do my very best to uphold that title. Lord help us all!
I watched an old RAW last yesterday on VHS and purely by chance, it just happened to be the edition where The Radicals (Benoit, Guerrero, Saturn & Malenko) made their WWE debuts. I got a chill as I watched the former WCW Superstars and then it occured to me. This was only seven years ago, although it seems like forever. And of this elite group, only Malenko is still involved in wrestling as an agent for the WWE. Saturn is out of the business completely as far as I can tell and of course, Eddie & Chris are both dead. I would love to see Dean get back in the ring again and maybe do one last run as "The Radical" - just to pay homage to his friends. I don't think it will happen, but Dean is/was one of the best technical guys ever. It'd be a good to see one last match or run.
I had a chance to try the WWE Socko Energy Drink at Wal-Mart the other day. I bought a can just because - and gave it a shot. Blah! It tasted nasty to me. But in all fairness, Red Bull and the other energy drinks don't taste all that hot to me either. I'm strictly a Pepsi kind of guy. I had to give it a shot because it's promoted by WWE and by Eric Bischoff. So I did. And well..... If you like the energy drinks, you'll probably like it so give it a shot. I didn't like it, but then again, I never liked Hulk Hogan either so what do I know?
I did a cartwheel the other day. Not too bad for a middle-aged fat guy. I won't make the U.S. Gymnastics team anytime soon, but I didn't kill myself and managed to land on my feet so it's all good. Yay!
I heard that the WWE Diva Search casting calls will be happening again very soon. Why? Why? Why? Oh yeah, fresh T&A for Vince and Johnny Ace to grope and lust over. Why hire these brainless, implanted slunts? Pick up the phone and call Ivory. Call Molly. Call Jazz. Call Trish and offer some big bucks. Call Lita. How about all these women who look good, have plenty of T&A and can actually "wrestle". Hell, hire back Christy Hemme. She's hot enough all by herself, based on the last few times I've seen her. Forget about the models and bimbettes. If WWE wants eye-candy for their Womens Division, just have Mike Bucci, Al Snow, Jerry Lawler, etc. check out the Indys and recruit from there. Those ladies can look good and wrestle. But forget about the "Casting Calls", 'Diva Searches" and all of that. It doesn't work.
But bringing back "Tough Enough" would be kind of fun. Al Snow, Ivory (two familiar faces) and Dean Malenko as the trainers. And it could run on VH1. Hell, based on their current batches of "Surreality Shows", it'd be a good fit and would draw the ratings. I'd watch.
Speaking of Surreal Life, my prayers and condolances go out to the family of Tammy Faye Baker Messnar, who died earlier this week after a long bout with colon and lung cancer. I'm from North Carolina and the entire PTL Club Scandals with her ex-husband Jim and of course, Jessica Hahn, was big time news around here. Jim ended up in prison and Hahn ended up a centerfold - and Tammy Faye managed to come through it all smelling like a heavily made-up rose. I remember seeing "Sweet" Stan Lane (of the Midnight Express) wearing a t-shirt on WCW Saturday Night that had the image of eyelashes and make-up and said "I Ran Into Tammy Faye At The Mall".
She was a joke to the world for a while, but she endured and moved into our hearts as a loving character with her short-run talk show, JM J and Tammy Faye (with co-host, HIV Positive Comic JM J. Bullock) and then as one of the members of an eclectic class of characters on the Surreal Life. That's where she really shined and blossomed as the morals and heart of the cast. Anyone who can live with the likes of Vanilla Ice, Ron Jeremy & Erik Estrada and still smile the whole way through has to be a saint.
I've got the entire season of that particular season of Surreal Life on VHS and she's certainly one of the highlights. The end, from what I understand, was long in coming and Tammy suffered for quite a while before finally passing away at age 65. Well, now she doesn't have to suffer any more. And I have no doubt that she's at peace now, which is how it should be. Rest in Peace, Tammy Faye Messnar. God bless!
One more "Surreal Life" note - coming up this season is "Macho Man" Randy Savage and Sister Cleo. I'm not sure who the other house-mates are going to be (I don't remember) but Macho and Cleo? That's enough for me to know I'm definitely going to watch. Dig it! Yeah!
Oh yeah, did anyone else hear about former "Tough Enough" Champion and WWE Superstar Maven Huffman coming out of the closet as a gay man? I saw a mention of it one time on some news site and then over at Wikipedia and that was it. It's just a non-issue and no one cares. And you know what? I like that. It shouldn't matter and it doesn't matter anymore. Give Kanyon credit - he broke down the wall a bit for gay wrestlers. He caught the flack and the backlash, but it quickly burned out and now, it's just another foot-note for these guys and nothing more. Maven is gay? So what! Orlando Jordan is bisexual. So what? Kanyon is gay? Who cares? All that matters is what they can and can't do in the ring. And that's good! That's the way it should be.
Let's do some predictions and talk about the PPV for later today - the Great American Bash.
The matches and my predictions:
Texas Bullrope Match: Dusty Rhodes (with Cody Runnels) versus "The Legend Killer" Randy Orton
Come on now? Has Dusty won a match since 2000? Hell, has Dusty wrestled a match since 2000? I know he's "The Dream" and he can brawl, but Orton is younger, stronger, sharper and the "Legend Killer". And besides, look for the seeds to be planted for a Cody turn somewhere down the road. Orton wins. Cody consoles his daddy on the outside, but on the inside.... hmmmm??
Singapore Cane On A Pole Match: The Sandman versus Carlito
It's the Sandman's speciality match. Thus that means Carlito wins. And you know what? I think that's cool!
WWE Women's Championship: Candice Michelle (c) versus Melina
Candice has improved so much over the past few months. She's an amazing lady. She's no Ivory or even Trish, but she's making her mark on the Women's Division. Melina just has a great "bitch" character and I love to watch her at work. But she's better while being frustrated than when things go her way. Anxiety and problems = sexy! Melina will get the gold back eventually, but for tonight, it's all Candice to retain.
U.S. Championship: MVP (c) versus Matt Hardy
Matt Hardy will not die! But he will become the U.S. Champion. There, I said it! Now, make it happen!
Intercontinental Championship: Umaga (c) versus Jeff Hardy
Rainbow Brite flies high, but gets butt-splashed in the end. Umaga retains.
ECW World Championship: John "Johnny Nitro" Morrison (c) versus CM Punk
Hate the name change. But Nitro/Morrison is a great up and coming superstar and I like seeing him as the champ. Punk will get his day in the sun soon enough, but for now, it's all about the guy with the Identity Crisises.
WWE World Championship - Triple Threat Match: The Great Khali (c) versus Kane versus Batista
I never, ever, ever thought I'd cheer for Batista to win a major championship. I mean, after all, the man can't even do his own finisher without screwing it up. Well, guess what? Batista-bomb on Khali by big Dave for the win and the title.
WWE Championship: John Cena (c) versus Bobby Lashley
Hard to choose. Every allegedly loves Bobby, but Cena is the Champ for a reason - he deserves every second of it. Lashley still doesn't do anything for me, but I don't think they'll have him lose, not even to Cena. So look for a double-dq or a big brawl at the end with King Booker & Mr. Kennedy getting involved. And the match is ruled a no-contest.
The "Tossing Salt Fan Nation" continues to grow by leaps and bounds. Currently, over at my MySpace profile, there are now 829 proud "Saltines" who can be counted as my "friends", up from just over 400 less than a week ago. Where are all these people coming from? I have no idea! But it's kind of cool that www.myspace.com/salt_palace - the home of "Tossing Salt - Worldwide News" is quickly becoming a phenomena unto itself. So if you're a MySpacer and haven't done so already, add me and my page to your friends list. Be the first on your block to be caught up in the madness. Take me - I'm yours! I want a thousand friends by the end of the month. Can we make it happen? You betcha! Yay!
Have I plugged B.D. Productions yet? They're a hot young tag team here on the NC Indy scene that are well worth keeping an eye on. They've got an energy and enthusiasm way beyond their years and as soon as they get a little more ring-time and experience under their belt, they're going to be a major force to be reckoned with. They'll also be at the MIWA Super Show on the 28th in Laurinburg and from what I was told last night by Mr. Dougles, they have some major surprises in store for everyone coming to this big event. Their names are Brad Branson & Derk Dougles - They are B.D. Productions and they are the future of professional wrestling. Check them out at www.myspace.com/y2d_virus.
Last night at work, over the course of about 6 1/2 hours at my store, I caught two shoplifters, ran off three "bums" in the parking lot who were begging for money, caught a couple trying to "get busy" out behind the store, had a guy fall asleep in the men's room and told a drunk woman who was being a total ass-clown to "shut the hell up!" And when she made a remark about "customer is always right and customer service", I told her "F*** Customer Service". Plus I had over 450 transactions during my shift on the register and did over $1,500 inside sales (total sales excluding gas, money orders and lottery). They kept me hopping and I was wide open from start to finish. Yeah, I had a really good night at the work-hole. I'm probably going to get a write-up for using profanity in front of customers.
Hell, I think I deserve a raise - a big one! It's nights like last one, admittingly one of the most insane nights I've had to endure in a while, that make me seriously think that it's time to make a career change and learn how to say "Welcome to Wal-Mart!" or 'Do you want fries with that?". I'm really getting too old for all of this.
Quotable Quote: "My name is Disco Inferno and I am a superstar. I am a sex symbol. I am a bona fide booty shakin' bad-ass. Let's face it! Disco Inferno is an icon!" - Disco Inferno - WCW Monday Nitro - August 16, 1999
I miss Disco. I know he was considered a mid-carder at best during his WCW days, but the guy had an energy and aura about him that said "look at me!". Or maybe it was just the bad dancing and the always perfect hair? Who knows? But how about a Jim Ross - Disco Inferno Announce team for RAW? Or just use Disco as a manager for some of the younger talents who aren't much for talking (Lashley, Chris Masters, Kenny Dykstra, Mark Henry, Khali). He can do serious - he can do comedy - he's a great talent with a good track record for attracting attention and putting butts in the seat - and besides, I want to see Disco Inferno & Shane McMahon have a "dance-off" at Wrestlemania 23. Now that would be entertainment!
Anything else? Oh yeah - how about the "Who Am I"?
Last time out, the "W.A.I?" was "I was the first WWE Manager for Bradshaw and Faarooq, who went on to fame and fortune as the Acolytes and the "APA". But in the beginning of their WWE run as a tag team, they were known as "Hell's Henchmen" and I was the man who accompanied them to ringside and acted as their spokesperson. I later went on to more notoriety in my role as part of "The Network" in ECW. Who Am I?"
And of course, the answer was Don Callis, better known as "The Jackyl" or "Cyrus".
Correctly answering were: "The Idaho Stud" Sabu Steve Dolgosh, Fran Delehanty, "Bama Boy" Chad Burttram & Brett David. Great job, my friends! Very well done!
And now for the newbie.
Nah, on second thought, I don't feel like doing a new "Who Am I?". Instead, I'll ask a question that I want every single reader of this column to answer. Who do you think will be the main WWE Superstar or Superstars to step up and fill the main-event void left by the injuries to Edge and the death of Chris Benoit? In other words, who do you think will benefit the most and finally get that big push and move from jobber or mid-card status into the WWE main events? Or who would you like to see get that big push?
I know who I'd like to see - two people actually who I think could step up if given the opportunity and become legit full time main eventers. "Who", you ask? I'll tell you next time around. I'll also rank the top ten guys that you think deserve the big push and moments and what I think they're chances are. So who should get the top spots now in the WWE? Inquiring minds want to know.
And I'm going to close this here for now. I'm tired of writing and I need a nap. Send comments and questions to Doug28352@yahoo.com. Come visit me at MySpace at www.myspace.com/salt_palace. Add me too. You know you want to.
I'm out of here for now. I'm Doug and you're not! Dat is all de' people need to know! Later gators! Bye!
July 22, 2007
Doug Maynard
doug28352@yahoo.com
www.myspace.com/salt_palace
So much to hit on and so little time to do it. Life is crazy and rushed and I've been feeling the sting over the past few weeks quite often. It's just like a bee sting except it doesn't swell up quite as much.
So let's jump into it, OK? I've got three pages worth of notes to cover - and I'm sure that more topics will come to mind as I work my way down the list, so go get a drink from the kitchen and pack a lunch. It's going to be a long one today.
I'm Doug and this is the most eclectic professional wrestling column in the Western Hemisphere outside of Detroit. Nothing is more eclectic than Detroit.
We call it "Tossing Salt - Worldwide News".
To start off, I want to mention that the MIWA will be holding a "Super Show" at the National Guard Armory here in Laurinburg, NC on Saturday, July 28th. The main event for this show is a "Tables, Ladders & Chairs" match between The Main Attraction (Scott Powers / "Pure Pleasure" Chris Steele) versus Zack Salvation & Cravin Slatter. Plus a "Last Man Standing" match between Jack Hammer versus Rowdy James. Other superstars scheduled to appear are The Monster Rage, Team Ego, Phil Shatter, The Outlaw Dino James, Rudy the Firebreaker, B & D Productions and many, many more.
One thing about the MIWA Shows - they always give 150% and leave the fans wanting more. I've never heard anyone complain about the quality of these events and that says quite about the promotion and the MIWA Superstars as well. If you get the chance to come to the 'Burg and see the show, I'd strongly encourage it. Or you can read the results and a first-hand recap of all the action right here at "TS - WWN". Yeah, you know I'm going.
Has anyone else noticed just how much face time on WWE Raw that William Regal has been getting as of late. First he was the "Temporary GM" while Coach went on Holiday and then he's been all over the place, in matches with Sandman, skits with Coach and Hacksaw Duggan and finally, a four-way elimination match last week on RAW. This is a great move by the WWE as Regal is one of the most respected and talented men on the WWE roster. He can wrestle. He can talk. He's the master of the "facial expressions" and just has a strong presence and aura about him that, no matter what he's doing, reeks of dignity and class.
I'd love to see Regal moved to the full-time role of "GM" for WWE Raw. Nothing personal against Coach, but no one takes him seriously as the "Interim General Manager". Regal though, has been a "Commissioner" for Smackdown, for the "Alliance", and has moved back and forth between a wrestling role and these "authority" roles so easily, he is instantly credible and a viable force to be reckoned with. And I'd much rather see Regal booking matches and hosting "contract signings" between Cena & Lashley than Coach anytime. But if that's not possible, then how about Intercontinental Champion William Regal? I'd watch that too.
Speaking of GM's, ECW on Sci-Fi desperately needs a "figure-head" to "run things" on their show and brand. RAW has one even if it is Coach. Smackdown has two "leaders" in Teddy Long and Vickie Guerrero. But poor little ECW, the "bastard child" of the WWE, hasn't has a leader on TV since Paul Heyman was sent home back in December.
So who should it be? My choices would be Stevie (Former GM of "Sunday Night Heat" and former leader of "RTC") Richards. Or Al Snow. Can you imagine a board meeting between Al Snow and Head? Sounds like good TV to me.
I keep hearing that BG James & Kip James (aka Road Dogg & Billy Gunn) have repeatedly asked for a release from their TNA contracts, but TNA won't give it to them. I don't know why, but for some reason, I think that eventually, we'll be seeing a "DX" versus "DX" feud in the WWE - probably at the start of next year with HHH & HBK versus The New Age Outlaws. That is, if VKM can ever get their releases from TNA. First a feud between the two groups and then an eventual reunion for one last run with nostalgia. Can you smell the merchandising? It'll happen sooner rather than later. Watch and see.
Speaking of watch and see, mind if I get political for a second? I've listened to most of the candidiates and watched the various debates so far. And I'll go ahead and say it now. The 2008 U.S. Presidential Election will be a tightly contested race between the team of Rudy Guiliani & Fred Thompson running on the Republican ticket against the team of Hillary Clinton & John Edwards on the Democratic side.
And the whole election will come down to a matter of dislike - do the voters dislike the Republicans (and George W. Bush) more because of the war in Iraq or do they dislike the Democrats more because well, it's Hillary and she's not a very likable or trust-worthy person? She's easily the most qualified of the four I mentioned to be in that high office after already having been a part of it for eight years during her husband's administration, but her negatives are so prominent, will her intelligence be enough to overcome her honesty and personality flaws? Usually, the voters tend to go for personality & comfort more than actual qualifications, so it's anyone's ball game at this point.
I think, honestly, that it'll be Guiliani & Thompson as the next two men in power. I might be wrong. I might not. But we could do much worse. We could also do much better, but the best people for the job never seem to want to run for it. *Sighs* Guess we'll have to wait and see. But when you step into that voting booth in November of 2008 and see Guiliani / Thompson versus Clinton / Edwards, just remember, I told you so.
Did I mention that my brother has filed to run for Mayor of the town of East Laurinburg, NC? A Maynard in politics? That's scary! He's a smart guy and could probably do a good job. And that would make me, if he happens to win, the "First Brother" of East 'Burg. And in the tradition of Billy Carter, Roger Clinton and Neil Bush, I would do my very best to uphold that title. Lord help us all!
I watched an old RAW last yesterday on VHS and purely by chance, it just happened to be the edition where The Radicals (Benoit, Guerrero, Saturn & Malenko) made their WWE debuts. I got a chill as I watched the former WCW Superstars and then it occured to me. This was only seven years ago, although it seems like forever. And of this elite group, only Malenko is still involved in wrestling as an agent for the WWE. Saturn is out of the business completely as far as I can tell and of course, Eddie & Chris are both dead. I would love to see Dean get back in the ring again and maybe do one last run as "The Radical" - just to pay homage to his friends. I don't think it will happen, but Dean is/was one of the best technical guys ever. It'd be a good to see one last match or run.
I had a chance to try the WWE Socko Energy Drink at Wal-Mart the other day. I bought a can just because - and gave it a shot. Blah! It tasted nasty to me. But in all fairness, Red Bull and the other energy drinks don't taste all that hot to me either. I'm strictly a Pepsi kind of guy. I had to give it a shot because it's promoted by WWE and by Eric Bischoff. So I did. And well..... If you like the energy drinks, you'll probably like it so give it a shot. I didn't like it, but then again, I never liked Hulk Hogan either so what do I know?
I did a cartwheel the other day. Not too bad for a middle-aged fat guy. I won't make the U.S. Gymnastics team anytime soon, but I didn't kill myself and managed to land on my feet so it's all good. Yay!
I heard that the WWE Diva Search casting calls will be happening again very soon. Why? Why? Why? Oh yeah, fresh T&A for Vince and Johnny Ace to grope and lust over. Why hire these brainless, implanted slunts? Pick up the phone and call Ivory. Call Molly. Call Jazz. Call Trish and offer some big bucks. Call Lita. How about all these women who look good, have plenty of T&A and can actually "wrestle". Hell, hire back Christy Hemme. She's hot enough all by herself, based on the last few times I've seen her. Forget about the models and bimbettes. If WWE wants eye-candy for their Womens Division, just have Mike Bucci, Al Snow, Jerry Lawler, etc. check out the Indys and recruit from there. Those ladies can look good and wrestle. But forget about the "Casting Calls", 'Diva Searches" and all of that. It doesn't work.
But bringing back "Tough Enough" would be kind of fun. Al Snow, Ivory (two familiar faces) and Dean Malenko as the trainers. And it could run on VH1. Hell, based on their current batches of "Surreality Shows", it'd be a good fit and would draw the ratings. I'd watch.
Speaking of Surreal Life, my prayers and condolances go out to the family of Tammy Faye Baker Messnar, who died earlier this week after a long bout with colon and lung cancer. I'm from North Carolina and the entire PTL Club Scandals with her ex-husband Jim and of course, Jessica Hahn, was big time news around here. Jim ended up in prison and Hahn ended up a centerfold - and Tammy Faye managed to come through it all smelling like a heavily made-up rose. I remember seeing "Sweet" Stan Lane (of the Midnight Express) wearing a t-shirt on WCW Saturday Night that had the image of eyelashes and make-up and said "I Ran Into Tammy Faye At The Mall".
She was a joke to the world for a while, but she endured and moved into our hearts as a loving character with her short-run talk show, JM J and Tammy Faye (with co-host, HIV Positive Comic JM J. Bullock) and then as one of the members of an eclectic class of characters on the Surreal Life. That's where she really shined and blossomed as the morals and heart of the cast. Anyone who can live with the likes of Vanilla Ice, Ron Jeremy & Erik Estrada and still smile the whole way through has to be a saint.
I've got the entire season of that particular season of Surreal Life on VHS and she's certainly one of the highlights. The end, from what I understand, was long in coming and Tammy suffered for quite a while before finally passing away at age 65. Well, now she doesn't have to suffer any more. And I have no doubt that she's at peace now, which is how it should be. Rest in Peace, Tammy Faye Messnar. God bless!
One more "Surreal Life" note - coming up this season is "Macho Man" Randy Savage and Sister Cleo. I'm not sure who the other house-mates are going to be (I don't remember) but Macho and Cleo? That's enough for me to know I'm definitely going to watch. Dig it! Yeah!
Oh yeah, did anyone else hear about former "Tough Enough" Champion and WWE Superstar Maven Huffman coming out of the closet as a gay man? I saw a mention of it one time on some news site and then over at Wikipedia and that was it. It's just a non-issue and no one cares. And you know what? I like that. It shouldn't matter and it doesn't matter anymore. Give Kanyon credit - he broke down the wall a bit for gay wrestlers. He caught the flack and the backlash, but it quickly burned out and now, it's just another foot-note for these guys and nothing more. Maven is gay? So what! Orlando Jordan is bisexual. So what? Kanyon is gay? Who cares? All that matters is what they can and can't do in the ring. And that's good! That's the way it should be.
Let's do some predictions and talk about the PPV for later today - the Great American Bash.
The matches and my predictions:
Texas Bullrope Match: Dusty Rhodes (with Cody Runnels) versus "The Legend Killer" Randy Orton
Come on now? Has Dusty won a match since 2000? Hell, has Dusty wrestled a match since 2000? I know he's "The Dream" and he can brawl, but Orton is younger, stronger, sharper and the "Legend Killer". And besides, look for the seeds to be planted for a Cody turn somewhere down the road. Orton wins. Cody consoles his daddy on the outside, but on the inside.... hmmmm??
Singapore Cane On A Pole Match: The Sandman versus Carlito
It's the Sandman's speciality match. Thus that means Carlito wins. And you know what? I think that's cool!
WWE Women's Championship: Candice Michelle (c) versus Melina
Candice has improved so much over the past few months. She's an amazing lady. She's no Ivory or even Trish, but she's making her mark on the Women's Division. Melina just has a great "bitch" character and I love to watch her at work. But she's better while being frustrated than when things go her way. Anxiety and problems = sexy! Melina will get the gold back eventually, but for tonight, it's all Candice to retain.
U.S. Championship: MVP (c) versus Matt Hardy
Matt Hardy will not die! But he will become the U.S. Champion. There, I said it! Now, make it happen!
Intercontinental Championship: Umaga (c) versus Jeff Hardy
Rainbow Brite flies high, but gets butt-splashed in the end. Umaga retains.
ECW World Championship: John "Johnny Nitro" Morrison (c) versus CM Punk
Hate the name change. But Nitro/Morrison is a great up and coming superstar and I like seeing him as the champ. Punk will get his day in the sun soon enough, but for now, it's all about the guy with the Identity Crisises.
WWE World Championship - Triple Threat Match: The Great Khali (c) versus Kane versus Batista
I never, ever, ever thought I'd cheer for Batista to win a major championship. I mean, after all, the man can't even do his own finisher without screwing it up. Well, guess what? Batista-bomb on Khali by big Dave for the win and the title.
WWE Championship: John Cena (c) versus Bobby Lashley
Hard to choose. Every allegedly loves Bobby, but Cena is the Champ for a reason - he deserves every second of it. Lashley still doesn't do anything for me, but I don't think they'll have him lose, not even to Cena. So look for a double-dq or a big brawl at the end with King Booker & Mr. Kennedy getting involved. And the match is ruled a no-contest.
The "Tossing Salt Fan Nation" continues to grow by leaps and bounds. Currently, over at my MySpace profile, there are now 829 proud "Saltines" who can be counted as my "friends", up from just over 400 less than a week ago. Where are all these people coming from? I have no idea! But it's kind of cool that www.myspace.com/salt_palace - the home of "Tossing Salt - Worldwide News" is quickly becoming a phenomena unto itself. So if you're a MySpacer and haven't done so already, add me and my page to your friends list. Be the first on your block to be caught up in the madness. Take me - I'm yours! I want a thousand friends by the end of the month. Can we make it happen? You betcha! Yay!
Have I plugged B.D. Productions yet? They're a hot young tag team here on the NC Indy scene that are well worth keeping an eye on. They've got an energy and enthusiasm way beyond their years and as soon as they get a little more ring-time and experience under their belt, they're going to be a major force to be reckoned with. They'll also be at the MIWA Super Show on the 28th in Laurinburg and from what I was told last night by Mr. Dougles, they have some major surprises in store for everyone coming to this big event. Their names are Brad Branson & Derk Dougles - They are B.D. Productions and they are the future of professional wrestling. Check them out at www.myspace.com/y2d_virus.
Last night at work, over the course of about 6 1/2 hours at my store, I caught two shoplifters, ran off three "bums" in the parking lot who were begging for money, caught a couple trying to "get busy" out behind the store, had a guy fall asleep in the men's room and told a drunk woman who was being a total ass-clown to "shut the hell up!" And when she made a remark about "customer is always right and customer service", I told her "F*** Customer Service". Plus I had over 450 transactions during my shift on the register and did over $1,500 inside sales (total sales excluding gas, money orders and lottery). They kept me hopping and I was wide open from start to finish. Yeah, I had a really good night at the work-hole. I'm probably going to get a write-up for using profanity in front of customers.
Hell, I think I deserve a raise - a big one! It's nights like last one, admittingly one of the most insane nights I've had to endure in a while, that make me seriously think that it's time to make a career change and learn how to say "Welcome to Wal-Mart!" or 'Do you want fries with that?". I'm really getting too old for all of this.
Quotable Quote: "My name is Disco Inferno and I am a superstar. I am a sex symbol. I am a bona fide booty shakin' bad-ass. Let's face it! Disco Inferno is an icon!" - Disco Inferno - WCW Monday Nitro - August 16, 1999
I miss Disco. I know he was considered a mid-carder at best during his WCW days, but the guy had an energy and aura about him that said "look at me!". Or maybe it was just the bad dancing and the always perfect hair? Who knows? But how about a Jim Ross - Disco Inferno Announce team for RAW? Or just use Disco as a manager for some of the younger talents who aren't much for talking (Lashley, Chris Masters, Kenny Dykstra, Mark Henry, Khali). He can do serious - he can do comedy - he's a great talent with a good track record for attracting attention and putting butts in the seat - and besides, I want to see Disco Inferno & Shane McMahon have a "dance-off" at Wrestlemania 23. Now that would be entertainment!
Anything else? Oh yeah - how about the "Who Am I"?
Last time out, the "W.A.I?" was "I was the first WWE Manager for Bradshaw and Faarooq, who went on to fame and fortune as the Acolytes and the "APA". But in the beginning of their WWE run as a tag team, they were known as "Hell's Henchmen" and I was the man who accompanied them to ringside and acted as their spokesperson. I later went on to more notoriety in my role as part of "The Network" in ECW. Who Am I?"
And of course, the answer was Don Callis, better known as "The Jackyl" or "Cyrus".
Correctly answering were: "The Idaho Stud" Sabu Steve Dolgosh, Fran Delehanty, "Bama Boy" Chad Burttram & Brett David. Great job, my friends! Very well done!
And now for the newbie.
Nah, on second thought, I don't feel like doing a new "Who Am I?". Instead, I'll ask a question that I want every single reader of this column to answer. Who do you think will be the main WWE Superstar or Superstars to step up and fill the main-event void left by the injuries to Edge and the death of Chris Benoit? In other words, who do you think will benefit the most and finally get that big push and move from jobber or mid-card status into the WWE main events? Or who would you like to see get that big push?
I know who I'd like to see - two people actually who I think could step up if given the opportunity and become legit full time main eventers. "Who", you ask? I'll tell you next time around. I'll also rank the top ten guys that you think deserve the big push and moments and what I think they're chances are. So who should get the top spots now in the WWE? Inquiring minds want to know.
And I'm going to close this here for now. I'm tired of writing and I need a nap. Send comments and questions to Doug28352@yahoo.com. Come visit me at MySpace at www.myspace.com/salt_palace. Add me too. You know you want to.
I'm out of here for now. I'm Doug and you're not! Dat is all de' people need to know! Later gators! Bye!
(Rertro) Tossing Salt - Worldwide News: July 22, 2007
Tossing Salt - Worldwide News
July 22, 2007
Doug Maynard
doug28352@yahoo.com
www.myspace.com/salt_palace
So much to hit on and so little time to do it. Life is crazy and rushed and I've been feeling the sting over the past few weeks quite often. It's just like a bee sting except it doesn't swell up quite as much.
So let's jump into it, OK? I've got three pages worth of notes to cover - and I'm sure that more topics will come to mind as I work my way down the list, so go get a drink from the kitchen and pack a lunch. It's going to be a long one today.
I'm Doug and this is the most eclectic professional wrestling column in the Western Hemisphere outside of Detroit. Nothing is more eclectic than Detroit.
We call it "Tossing Salt - Worldwide News".
To start off, I want to mention that the MIWA will be holding a "Super Show" at the National Guard Armory here in Laurinburg, NC on Saturday, July 28th. The main event for this show is a "Tables, Ladders & Chairs" match between The Main Attraction (Scott Powers / "Pure Pleasure" Chris Steele) versus Zack Salvation & Cravin Slatter. Plus a "Last Man Standing" match between Jack Hammer versus Rowdy James. Other superstars scheduled to appear are The Monster Rage, Team Ego, Phil Shatter, The Outlaw Dino James, Rudy the Firebreaker, B & D Productions and many, many more.
One thing about the MIWA Shows - they always give 150% and leave the fans wanting more. I've never heard anyone complain about the quality of these events and that says quite about the promotion and the MIWA Superstars as well. If you get the chance to come to the 'Burg and see the show, I'd strongly encourage it. Or you can read the results and a first-hand recap of all the action right here at "TS - WWN". Yeah, you know I'm going.
Has anyone else noticed just how much face time on WWE Raw that William Regal has been getting as of late. First he was the "Temporary GM" while Coach went on Holiday and then he's been all over the place, in matches with Sandman, skits with Coach and Hacksaw Duggan and finally, a four-way elimination match last week on RAW. This is a great move by the WWE as Regal is one of the most respected and talented men on the WWE roster. He can wrestle. He can talk. He's the master of the "facial expressions" and just has a strong presence and aura about him that, no matter what he's doing, reeks of dignity and class.
I'd love to see Regal moved to the full-time role of "GM" for WWE Raw. Nothing personal against Coach, but no one takes him seriously as the "Interim General Manager". Regal though, has been a "Commissioner" for Smackdown, for the "Alliance", and has moved back and forth between a wrestling role and these "authority" roles so easily, he is instantly credible and a viable force to be reckoned with. And I'd much rather see Regal booking matches and hosting "contract signings" between Cena & Lashley than Coach anytime. But if that's not possible, then how about Intercontinental Champion William Regal? I'd watch that too.
Speaking of GM's, ECW on Sci-Fi desperately needs a "figure-head" to "run things" on their show and brand. RAW has one even if it is Coach. Smackdown has two "leaders" in Teddy Long and Vickie Guerrero. But poor little ECW, the "bastard child" of the WWE, hasn't has a leader on TV since Paul Heyman was sent home back in December.
So who should it be? My choices would be Stevie (Former GM of "Sunday Night Heat" and former leader of "RTC") Richards. Or Al Snow. Can you imagine a board meeting between Al Snow and Head? Sounds like good TV to me.
I keep hearing that BG James & Kip James (aka Road Dogg & Billy Gunn) have repeatedly asked for a release from their TNA contracts, but TNA won't give it to them. I don't know why, but for some reason, I think that eventually, we'll be seeing a "DX" versus "DX" feud in the WWE - probably at the start of next year with HHH & HBK versus The New Age Outlaws. That is, if VKM can ever get their releases from TNA. First a feud between the two groups and then an eventual reunion for one last run with nostalgia. Can you smell the merchandising? It'll happen sooner rather than later. Watch and see.
Speaking of watch and see, mind if I get political for a second? I've listened to most of the candidiates and watched the various debates so far. And I'll go ahead and say it now. The 2008 U.S. Presidential Election will be a tightly contested race between the team of Rudy Guiliani & Fred Thompson running on the Republican ticket against the team of Hillary Clinton & John Edwards on the Democratic side.
And the whole election will come down to a matter of dislike - do the voters dislike the Republicans (and George W. Bush) more because of the war in Iraq or do they dislike the Democrats more because well, it's Hillary and she's not a very likable or trust-worthy person? She's easily the most qualified of the four I mentioned to be in that high office after already having been a part of it for eight years during her husband's administration, but her negatives are so prominent, will her intelligence be enough to overcome her honesty and personality flaws? Usually, the voters tend to go for personality & comfort more than actual qualifications, so it's anyone's ball game at this point.
I think, honestly, that it'll be Guiliani & Thompson as the next two men in power. I might be wrong. I might not. But we could do much worse. We could also do much better, but the best people for the job never seem to want to run for it. *Sighs* Guess we'll have to wait and see. But when you step into that voting booth in November of 2008 and see Guiliani / Thompson versus Clinton / Edwards, just remember, I told you so.
Did I mention that my brother has filed to run for Mayor of the town of East Laurinburg, NC? A Maynard in politics? That's scary! He's a smart guy and could probably do a good job. And that would make me, if he happens to win, the "First Brother" of East 'Burg. And in the tradition of Billy Carter, Roger Clinton and Neil Bush, I would do my very best to uphold that title. Lord help us all!
I watched an old RAW last yesterday on VHS and purely by chance, it just happened to be the edition where The Radicals (Benoit, Guerrero, Saturn & Malenko) made their WWE debuts. I got a chill as I watched the former WCW Superstars and then it occured to me. This was only seven years ago, although it seems like forever. And of this elite group, only Malenko is still involved in wrestling as an agent for the WWE. Saturn is out of the business completely as far as I can tell and of course, Eddie & Chris are both dead. I would love to see Dean get back in the ring again and maybe do one last run as "The Radical" - just to pay homage to his friends. I don't think it will happen, but Dean is/was one of the best technical guys ever. It'd be a good to see one last match or run.
I had a chance to try the WWE Socko Energy Drink at Wal-Mart the other day. I bought a can just because - and gave it a shot. Blah! It tasted nasty to me. But in all fairness, Red Bull and the other energy drinks don't taste all that hot to me either. I'm strictly a Pepsi kind of guy. I had to give it a shot because it's promoted by WWE and by Eric Bischoff. So I did. And well..... If you like the energy drinks, you'll probably like it so give it a shot. I didn't like it, but then again, I never liked Hulk Hogan either so what do I know?
I did a cartwheel the other day. Not too bad for a middle-aged fat guy. I won't make the U.S. Gymnastics team anytime soon, but I didn't kill myself and managed to land on my feet so it's all good. Yay!
I heard that the WWE Diva Search casting calls will be happening again very soon. Why? Why? Why? Oh yeah, fresh T&A for Vince and Johnny Ace to grope and lust over. Why hire these brainless, implanted slunts? Pick up the phone and call Ivory. Call Molly. Call Jazz. Call Trish and offer some big bucks. Call Lita. How about all these women who look good, have plenty of T&A and can actually "wrestle". Hell, hire back Christy Hemme. She's hot enough all by herself, based on the last few times I've seen her. Forget about the models and bimbettes. If WWE wants eye-candy for their Womens Division, just have Mike Bucci, Al Snow, Jerry Lawler, etc. check out the Indys and recruit from there. Those ladies can look good and wrestle. But forget about the "Casting Calls", 'Diva Searches" and all of that. It doesn't work.
But bringing back "Tough Enough" would be kind of fun. Al Snow, Ivory (two familiar faces) and Dean Malenko as the trainers. And it could run on VH1. Hell, based on their current batches of "Surreality Shows", it'd be a good fit and would draw the ratings. I'd watch.
Speaking of Surreal Life, my prayers and condolances go out to the family of Tammy Faye Baker Messnar, who died earlier this week after a long bout with colon and lung cancer. I'm from North Carolina and the entire PTL Club Scandals with her ex-husband Jim and of course, Jessica Hahn, was big time news around here. Jim ended up in prison and Hahn ended up a centerfold - and Tammy Faye managed to come through it all smelling like a heavily made-up rose. I remember seeing "Sweet" Stan Lane (of the Midnight Express) wearing a t-shirt on WCW Saturday Night that had the image of eyelashes and make-up and said "I Ran Into Tammy Faye At The Mall".
She was a joke to the world for a while, but she endured and moved into our hearts as a loving character with her short-run talk show, JM J and Tammy Faye (with co-host, HIV Positive Comic JM J. Bullock) and then as one of the members of an eclectic class of characters on the Surreal Life. That's where she really shined and blossomed as the morals and heart of the cast. Anyone who can live with the likes of Vanilla Ice, Ron Jeremy & Erik Estrada and still smile the whole way through has to be a saint.
I've got the entire season of that particular season of Surreal Life on VHS and she's certainly one of the highlights. The end, from what I understand, was long in coming and Tammy suffered for quite a while before finally passing away at age 65. Well, now she doesn't have to suffer any more. And I have no doubt that she's at peace now, which is how it should be. Rest in Peace, Tammy Faye Messnar. God bless!
One more "Surreal Life" note - coming up this season is "Macho Man" Randy Savage and Sister Cleo. I'm not sure who the other house-mates are going to be (I don't remember) but Macho and Cleo? That's enough for me to know I'm definitely going to watch. Dig it! Yeah!
Oh yeah, did anyone else hear about former "Tough Enough" Champion and WWE Superstar Maven Huffman coming out of the closet as a gay man? I saw a mention of it one time on some news site and then over at Wikipedia and that was it. It's just a non-issue and no one cares. And you know what? I like that. It shouldn't matter and it doesn't matter anymore. Give Kanyon credit - he broke down the wall a bit for gay wrestlers. He caught the flack and the backlash, but it quickly burned out and now, it's just another foot-note for these guys and nothing more. Maven is gay? So what! Orlando Jordan is bisexual. So what? Kanyon is gay? Who cares? All that matters is what they can and can't do in the ring. And that's good! That's the way it should be.
Let's do some predictions and talk about the PPV for later today - the Great American Bash.
The matches and my predictions:
Texas Bullrope Match: Dusty Rhodes (with Cody Runnels) versus "The Legend Killer" Randy Orton
Come on now? Has Dusty won a match since 2000? Hell, has Dusty wrestled a match since 2000? I know he's "The Dream" and he can brawl, but Orton is younger, stronger, sharper and the "Legend Killer". And besides, look for the seeds to be planted for a Cody turn somewhere down the road. Orton wins. Cody consoles his daddy on the outside, but on the inside.... hmmmm??
Singapore Cane On A Pole Match: The Sandman versus Carlito
It's the Sandman's speciality match. Thus that means Carlito wins. And you know what? I think that's cool!
WWE Women's Championship: Candice Michelle (c) versus Melina
Candice has improved so much over the past few months. She's an amazing lady. She's no Ivory or even Trish, but she's making her mark on the Women's Division. Melina just has a great "bitch" character and I love to watch her at work. But she's better while being frustrated than when things go her way. Anxiety and problems = sexy! Melina will get the gold back eventually, but for tonight, it's all Candice to retain.
U.S. Championship: MVP (c) versus Matt Hardy
Matt Hardy will not die! But he will become the U.S. Champion. There, I said it! Now, make it happen!
Intercontinental Championship: Umaga (c) versus Jeff Hardy
Rainbow Brite flies high, but gets butt-splashed in the end. Umaga retains.
ECW World Championship: John "Johnny Nitro" Morrison (c) versus CM Punk
Hate the name change. But Nitro/Morrison is a great up and coming superstar and I like seeing him as the champ. Punk will get his day in the sun soon enough, but for now, it's all about the guy with the Identity Crisises.
WWE World Championship - Triple Threat Match: The Great Khali (c) versus Kane versus Batista
I never, ever, ever thought I'd cheer for Batista to win a major championship. I mean, after all, the man can't even do his own finisher without screwing it up. Well, guess what? Batista-bomb on Khali by big Dave for the win and the title.
WWE Championship: John Cena (c) versus Bobby Lashley
Hard to choose. Every allegedly loves Bobby, but Cena is the Champ for a reason - he deserves every second of it. Lashley still doesn't do anything for me, but I don't think they'll have him lose, not even to Cena. So look for a double-dq or a big brawl at the end with King Booker & Mr. Kennedy getting involved. And the match is ruled a no-contest.
The "Tossing Salt Fan Nation" continues to grow by leaps and bounds. Currently, over at my MySpace profile, there are now 829 proud "Saltines" who can be counted as my "friends", up from just over 400 less than a week ago. Where are all these people coming from? I have no idea! But it's kind of cool that www.myspace.com/salt_palace - the home of "Tossing Salt - Worldwide News" is quickly becoming a phenomena unto itself. So if you're a MySpacer and haven't done so already, add me and my page to your friends list. Be the first on your block to be caught up in the madness. Take me - I'm yours! I want a thousand friends by the end of the month. Can we make it happen? You betcha! Yay!
Have I plugged B.D. Productions yet? They're a hot young tag team here on the NC Indy scene that are well worth keeping an eye on. They've got an energy and enthusiasm way beyond their years and as soon as they get a little more ring-time and experience under their belt, they're going to be a major force to be reckoned with. They'll also be at the MIWA Super Show on the 28th in Laurinburg and from what I was told last night by Mr. Dougles, they have some major surprises in store for everyone coming to this big event. Their names are Brad Branson & Derk Dougles - They are B.D. Productions and they are the future of professional wrestling. Check them out at www.myspace.com/y2d_virus.
Last night at work, over the course of about 6 1/2 hours at my store, I caught two shoplifters, ran off three "bums" in the parking lot who were begging for money, caught a couple trying to "get busy" out behind the store, had a guy fall asleep in the men's room and told a drunk woman who was being a total ass-clown to "shut the hell up!" And when she made a remark about "customer is always right and customer service", I told her "F*** Customer Service". Plus I had over 450 transactions during my shift on the register and did over $1,500 inside sales (total sales excluding gas, money orders and lottery). They kept me hopping and I was wide open from start to finish. Yeah, I had a really good night at the work-hole. I'm probably going to get a write-up for using profanity in front of customers.
Hell, I think I deserve a raise - a big one! It's nights like last one, admittingly one of the most insane nights I've had to endure in a while, that make me seriously think that it's time to make a career change and learn how to say "Welcome to Wal-Mart!" or 'Do you want fries with that?". I'm really getting too old for all of this.
Quotable Quote: "My name is Disco Inferno and I am a superstar. I am a sex symbol. I am a bona fide booty shakin' bad-ass. Let's face it! Disco Inferno is an icon!" - Disco Inferno - WCW Monday Nitro - August 16, 1999
I miss Disco. I know he was considered a mid-carder at best during his WCW days, but the guy had an energy and aura about him that said "look at me!". Or maybe it was just the bad dancing and the always perfect hair? Who knows? But how about a Jim Ross - Disco Inferno Announce team for RAW? Or just use Disco as a manager for some of the younger talents who aren't much for talking (Lashley, Chris Masters, Kenny Dykstra, Mark Henry, Khali). He can do serious - he can do comedy - he's a great talent with a good track record for attracting attention and putting butts in the seat - and besides, I want to see Disco Inferno & Shane McMahon have a "dance-off" at Wrestlemania 23. Now that would be entertainment!
Anything else? Oh yeah - how about the "Who Am I"?
Last time out, the "W.A.I?" was "I was the first WWE Manager for Bradshaw and Faarooq, who went on to fame and fortune as the Acolytes and the "APA". But in the beginning of their WWE run as a tag team, they were known as "Hell's Henchmen" and I was the man who accompanied them to ringside and acted as their spokesperson. I later went on to more notoriety in my role as part of "The Network" in ECW. Who Am I?"
And of course, the answer was Don Callis, better known as "The Jackyl" or "Cyrus".
Correctly answering were: "The Idaho Stud" Sabu Steve Dolgosh, Fran Delehanty, "Bama Boy" Chad Burttram & Brett David. Great job, my friends! Very well done!
And now for the newbie.
Nah, on second thought, I don't feel like doing a new "Who Am I?". Instead, I'll ask a question that I want every single reader of this column to answer. Who do you think will be the main WWE Superstar or Superstars to step up and fill the main-event void left by the injuries to Edge and the death of Chris Benoit? In other words, who do you think will benefit the most and finally get that big push and move from jobber or mid-card status into the WWE main events? Or who would you like to see get that big push?
I know who I'd like to see - two people actually who I think could step up if given the opportunity and become legit full time main eventers. "Who", you ask? I'll tell you next time around. I'll also rank the top ten guys that you think deserve the big push and moments and what I think they're chances are. So who should get the top spots now in the WWE? Inquiring minds want to know.
And I'm going to close this here for now. I'm tired of writing and I need a nap. Send comments and questions to Doug28352@yahoo.com. Come visit me at MySpace at www.myspace.com/salt_palace. Add me too. You know you want to.
I'm out of here for now. I'm Doug and you're not! Dat is all de' people need to know! Later gators! Bye!
July 22, 2007
Doug Maynard
doug28352@yahoo.com
www.myspace.com/salt_palace
So much to hit on and so little time to do it. Life is crazy and rushed and I've been feeling the sting over the past few weeks quite often. It's just like a bee sting except it doesn't swell up quite as much.
So let's jump into it, OK? I've got three pages worth of notes to cover - and I'm sure that more topics will come to mind as I work my way down the list, so go get a drink from the kitchen and pack a lunch. It's going to be a long one today.
I'm Doug and this is the most eclectic professional wrestling column in the Western Hemisphere outside of Detroit. Nothing is more eclectic than Detroit.
We call it "Tossing Salt - Worldwide News".
To start off, I want to mention that the MIWA will be holding a "Super Show" at the National Guard Armory here in Laurinburg, NC on Saturday, July 28th. The main event for this show is a "Tables, Ladders & Chairs" match between The Main Attraction (Scott Powers / "Pure Pleasure" Chris Steele) versus Zack Salvation & Cravin Slatter. Plus a "Last Man Standing" match between Jack Hammer versus Rowdy James. Other superstars scheduled to appear are The Monster Rage, Team Ego, Phil Shatter, The Outlaw Dino James, Rudy the Firebreaker, B & D Productions and many, many more.
One thing about the MIWA Shows - they always give 150% and leave the fans wanting more. I've never heard anyone complain about the quality of these events and that says quite about the promotion and the MIWA Superstars as well. If you get the chance to come to the 'Burg and see the show, I'd strongly encourage it. Or you can read the results and a first-hand recap of all the action right here at "TS - WWN". Yeah, you know I'm going.
Has anyone else noticed just how much face time on WWE Raw that William Regal has been getting as of late. First he was the "Temporary GM" while Coach went on Holiday and then he's been all over the place, in matches with Sandman, skits with Coach and Hacksaw Duggan and finally, a four-way elimination match last week on RAW. This is a great move by the WWE as Regal is one of the most respected and talented men on the WWE roster. He can wrestle. He can talk. He's the master of the "facial expressions" and just has a strong presence and aura about him that, no matter what he's doing, reeks of dignity and class.
I'd love to see Regal moved to the full-time role of "GM" for WWE Raw. Nothing personal against Coach, but no one takes him seriously as the "Interim General Manager". Regal though, has been a "Commissioner" for Smackdown, for the "Alliance", and has moved back and forth between a wrestling role and these "authority" roles so easily, he is instantly credible and a viable force to be reckoned with. And I'd much rather see Regal booking matches and hosting "contract signings" between Cena & Lashley than Coach anytime. But if that's not possible, then how about Intercontinental Champion William Regal? I'd watch that too.
Speaking of GM's, ECW on Sci-Fi desperately needs a "figure-head" to "run things" on their show and brand. RAW has one even if it is Coach. Smackdown has two "leaders" in Teddy Long and Vickie Guerrero. But poor little ECW, the "bastard child" of the WWE, hasn't has a leader on TV since Paul Heyman was sent home back in December.
So who should it be? My choices would be Stevie (Former GM of "Sunday Night Heat" and former leader of "RTC") Richards. Or Al Snow. Can you imagine a board meeting between Al Snow and Head? Sounds like good TV to me.
I keep hearing that BG James & Kip James (aka Road Dogg & Billy Gunn) have repeatedly asked for a release from their TNA contracts, but TNA won't give it to them. I don't know why, but for some reason, I think that eventually, we'll be seeing a "DX" versus "DX" feud in the WWE - probably at the start of next year with HHH & HBK versus The New Age Outlaws. That is, if VKM can ever get their releases from TNA. First a feud between the two groups and then an eventual reunion for one last run with nostalgia. Can you smell the merchandising? It'll happen sooner rather than later. Watch and see.
Speaking of watch and see, mind if I get political for a second? I've listened to most of the candidiates and watched the various debates so far. And I'll go ahead and say it now. The 2008 U.S. Presidential Election will be a tightly contested race between the team of Rudy Guiliani & Fred Thompson running on the Republican ticket against the team of Hillary Clinton & John Edwards on the Democratic side.
And the whole election will come down to a matter of dislike - do the voters dislike the Republicans (and George W. Bush) more because of the war in Iraq or do they dislike the Democrats more because well, it's Hillary and she's not a very likable or trust-worthy person? She's easily the most qualified of the four I mentioned to be in that high office after already having been a part of it for eight years during her husband's administration, but her negatives are so prominent, will her intelligence be enough to overcome her honesty and personality flaws? Usually, the voters tend to go for personality & comfort more than actual qualifications, so it's anyone's ball game at this point.
I think, honestly, that it'll be Guiliani & Thompson as the next two men in power. I might be wrong. I might not. But we could do much worse. We could also do much better, but the best people for the job never seem to want to run for it. *Sighs* Guess we'll have to wait and see. But when you step into that voting booth in November of 2008 and see Guiliani / Thompson versus Clinton / Edwards, just remember, I told you so.
Did I mention that my brother has filed to run for Mayor of the town of East Laurinburg, NC? A Maynard in politics? That's scary! He's a smart guy and could probably do a good job. And that would make me, if he happens to win, the "First Brother" of East 'Burg. And in the tradition of Billy Carter, Roger Clinton and Neil Bush, I would do my very best to uphold that title. Lord help us all!
I watched an old RAW last yesterday on VHS and purely by chance, it just happened to be the edition where The Radicals (Benoit, Guerrero, Saturn & Malenko) made their WWE debuts. I got a chill as I watched the former WCW Superstars and then it occured to me. This was only seven years ago, although it seems like forever. And of this elite group, only Malenko is still involved in wrestling as an agent for the WWE. Saturn is out of the business completely as far as I can tell and of course, Eddie & Chris are both dead. I would love to see Dean get back in the ring again and maybe do one last run as "The Radical" - just to pay homage to his friends. I don't think it will happen, but Dean is/was one of the best technical guys ever. It'd be a good to see one last match or run.
I had a chance to try the WWE Socko Energy Drink at Wal-Mart the other day. I bought a can just because - and gave it a shot. Blah! It tasted nasty to me. But in all fairness, Red Bull and the other energy drinks don't taste all that hot to me either. I'm strictly a Pepsi kind of guy. I had to give it a shot because it's promoted by WWE and by Eric Bischoff. So I did. And well..... If you like the energy drinks, you'll probably like it so give it a shot. I didn't like it, but then again, I never liked Hulk Hogan either so what do I know?
I did a cartwheel the other day. Not too bad for a middle-aged fat guy. I won't make the U.S. Gymnastics team anytime soon, but I didn't kill myself and managed to land on my feet so it's all good. Yay!
I heard that the WWE Diva Search casting calls will be happening again very soon. Why? Why? Why? Oh yeah, fresh T&A for Vince and Johnny Ace to grope and lust over. Why hire these brainless, implanted slunts? Pick up the phone and call Ivory. Call Molly. Call Jazz. Call Trish and offer some big bucks. Call Lita. How about all these women who look good, have plenty of T&A and can actually "wrestle". Hell, hire back Christy Hemme. She's hot enough all by herself, based on the last few times I've seen her. Forget about the models and bimbettes. If WWE wants eye-candy for their Womens Division, just have Mike Bucci, Al Snow, Jerry Lawler, etc. check out the Indys and recruit from there. Those ladies can look good and wrestle. But forget about the "Casting Calls", 'Diva Searches" and all of that. It doesn't work.
But bringing back "Tough Enough" would be kind of fun. Al Snow, Ivory (two familiar faces) and Dean Malenko as the trainers. And it could run on VH1. Hell, based on their current batches of "Surreality Shows", it'd be a good fit and would draw the ratings. I'd watch.
Speaking of Surreal Life, my prayers and condolances go out to the family of Tammy Faye Baker Messnar, who died earlier this week after a long bout with colon and lung cancer. I'm from North Carolina and the entire PTL Club Scandals with her ex-husband Jim and of course, Jessica Hahn, was big time news around here. Jim ended up in prison and Hahn ended up a centerfold - and Tammy Faye managed to come through it all smelling like a heavily made-up rose. I remember seeing "Sweet" Stan Lane (of the Midnight Express) wearing a t-shirt on WCW Saturday Night that had the image of eyelashes and make-up and said "I Ran Into Tammy Faye At The Mall".
She was a joke to the world for a while, but she endured and moved into our hearts as a loving character with her short-run talk show, JM J and Tammy Faye (with co-host, HIV Positive Comic JM J. Bullock) and then as one of the members of an eclectic class of characters on the Surreal Life. That's where she really shined and blossomed as the morals and heart of the cast. Anyone who can live with the likes of Vanilla Ice, Ron Jeremy & Erik Estrada and still smile the whole way through has to be a saint.
I've got the entire season of that particular season of Surreal Life on VHS and she's certainly one of the highlights. The end, from what I understand, was long in coming and Tammy suffered for quite a while before finally passing away at age 65. Well, now she doesn't have to suffer any more. And I have no doubt that she's at peace now, which is how it should be. Rest in Peace, Tammy Faye Messnar. God bless!
One more "Surreal Life" note - coming up this season is "Macho Man" Randy Savage and Sister Cleo. I'm not sure who the other house-mates are going to be (I don't remember) but Macho and Cleo? That's enough for me to know I'm definitely going to watch. Dig it! Yeah!
Oh yeah, did anyone else hear about former "Tough Enough" Champion and WWE Superstar Maven Huffman coming out of the closet as a gay man? I saw a mention of it one time on some news site and then over at Wikipedia and that was it. It's just a non-issue and no one cares. And you know what? I like that. It shouldn't matter and it doesn't matter anymore. Give Kanyon credit - he broke down the wall a bit for gay wrestlers. He caught the flack and the backlash, but it quickly burned out and now, it's just another foot-note for these guys and nothing more. Maven is gay? So what! Orlando Jordan is bisexual. So what? Kanyon is gay? Who cares? All that matters is what they can and can't do in the ring. And that's good! That's the way it should be.
Let's do some predictions and talk about the PPV for later today - the Great American Bash.
The matches and my predictions:
Texas Bullrope Match: Dusty Rhodes (with Cody Runnels) versus "The Legend Killer" Randy Orton
Come on now? Has Dusty won a match since 2000? Hell, has Dusty wrestled a match since 2000? I know he's "The Dream" and he can brawl, but Orton is younger, stronger, sharper and the "Legend Killer". And besides, look for the seeds to be planted for a Cody turn somewhere down the road. Orton wins. Cody consoles his daddy on the outside, but on the inside.... hmmmm??
Singapore Cane On A Pole Match: The Sandman versus Carlito
It's the Sandman's speciality match. Thus that means Carlito wins. And you know what? I think that's cool!
WWE Women's Championship: Candice Michelle (c) versus Melina
Candice has improved so much over the past few months. She's an amazing lady. She's no Ivory or even Trish, but she's making her mark on the Women's Division. Melina just has a great "bitch" character and I love to watch her at work. But she's better while being frustrated than when things go her way. Anxiety and problems = sexy! Melina will get the gold back eventually, but for tonight, it's all Candice to retain.
U.S. Championship: MVP (c) versus Matt Hardy
Matt Hardy will not die! But he will become the U.S. Champion. There, I said it! Now, make it happen!
Intercontinental Championship: Umaga (c) versus Jeff Hardy
Rainbow Brite flies high, but gets butt-splashed in the end. Umaga retains.
ECW World Championship: John "Johnny Nitro" Morrison (c) versus CM Punk
Hate the name change. But Nitro/Morrison is a great up and coming superstar and I like seeing him as the champ. Punk will get his day in the sun soon enough, but for now, it's all about the guy with the Identity Crisises.
WWE World Championship - Triple Threat Match: The Great Khali (c) versus Kane versus Batista
I never, ever, ever thought I'd cheer for Batista to win a major championship. I mean, after all, the man can't even do his own finisher without screwing it up. Well, guess what? Batista-bomb on Khali by big Dave for the win and the title.
WWE Championship: John Cena (c) versus Bobby Lashley
Hard to choose. Every allegedly loves Bobby, but Cena is the Champ for a reason - he deserves every second of it. Lashley still doesn't do anything for me, but I don't think they'll have him lose, not even to Cena. So look for a double-dq or a big brawl at the end with King Booker & Mr. Kennedy getting involved. And the match is ruled a no-contest.
The "Tossing Salt Fan Nation" continues to grow by leaps and bounds. Currently, over at my MySpace profile, there are now 829 proud "Saltines" who can be counted as my "friends", up from just over 400 less than a week ago. Where are all these people coming from? I have no idea! But it's kind of cool that www.myspace.com/salt_palace - the home of "Tossing Salt - Worldwide News" is quickly becoming a phenomena unto itself. So if you're a MySpacer and haven't done so already, add me and my page to your friends list. Be the first on your block to be caught up in the madness. Take me - I'm yours! I want a thousand friends by the end of the month. Can we make it happen? You betcha! Yay!
Have I plugged B.D. Productions yet? They're a hot young tag team here on the NC Indy scene that are well worth keeping an eye on. They've got an energy and enthusiasm way beyond their years and as soon as they get a little more ring-time and experience under their belt, they're going to be a major force to be reckoned with. They'll also be at the MIWA Super Show on the 28th in Laurinburg and from what I was told last night by Mr. Dougles, they have some major surprises in store for everyone coming to this big event. Their names are Brad Branson & Derk Dougles - They are B.D. Productions and they are the future of professional wrestling. Check them out at www.myspace.com/y2d_virus.
Last night at work, over the course of about 6 1/2 hours at my store, I caught two shoplifters, ran off three "bums" in the parking lot who were begging for money, caught a couple trying to "get busy" out behind the store, had a guy fall asleep in the men's room and told a drunk woman who was being a total ass-clown to "shut the hell up!" And when she made a remark about "customer is always right and customer service", I told her "F*** Customer Service". Plus I had over 450 transactions during my shift on the register and did over $1,500 inside sales (total sales excluding gas, money orders and lottery). They kept me hopping and I was wide open from start to finish. Yeah, I had a really good night at the work-hole. I'm probably going to get a write-up for using profanity in front of customers.
Hell, I think I deserve a raise - a big one! It's nights like last one, admittingly one of the most insane nights I've had to endure in a while, that make me seriously think that it's time to make a career change and learn how to say "Welcome to Wal-Mart!" or 'Do you want fries with that?". I'm really getting too old for all of this.
Quotable Quote: "My name is Disco Inferno and I am a superstar. I am a sex symbol. I am a bona fide booty shakin' bad-ass. Let's face it! Disco Inferno is an icon!" - Disco Inferno - WCW Monday Nitro - August 16, 1999
I miss Disco. I know he was considered a mid-carder at best during his WCW days, but the guy had an energy and aura about him that said "look at me!". Or maybe it was just the bad dancing and the always perfect hair? Who knows? But how about a Jim Ross - Disco Inferno Announce team for RAW? Or just use Disco as a manager for some of the younger talents who aren't much for talking (Lashley, Chris Masters, Kenny Dykstra, Mark Henry, Khali). He can do serious - he can do comedy - he's a great talent with a good track record for attracting attention and putting butts in the seat - and besides, I want to see Disco Inferno & Shane McMahon have a "dance-off" at Wrestlemania 23. Now that would be entertainment!
Anything else? Oh yeah - how about the "Who Am I"?
Last time out, the "W.A.I?" was "I was the first WWE Manager for Bradshaw and Faarooq, who went on to fame and fortune as the Acolytes and the "APA". But in the beginning of their WWE run as a tag team, they were known as "Hell's Henchmen" and I was the man who accompanied them to ringside and acted as their spokesperson. I later went on to more notoriety in my role as part of "The Network" in ECW. Who Am I?"
And of course, the answer was Don Callis, better known as "The Jackyl" or "Cyrus".
Correctly answering were: "The Idaho Stud" Sabu Steve Dolgosh, Fran Delehanty, "Bama Boy" Chad Burttram & Brett David. Great job, my friends! Very well done!
And now for the newbie.
Nah, on second thought, I don't feel like doing a new "Who Am I?". Instead, I'll ask a question that I want every single reader of this column to answer. Who do you think will be the main WWE Superstar or Superstars to step up and fill the main-event void left by the injuries to Edge and the death of Chris Benoit? In other words, who do you think will benefit the most and finally get that big push and move from jobber or mid-card status into the WWE main events? Or who would you like to see get that big push?
I know who I'd like to see - two people actually who I think could step up if given the opportunity and become legit full time main eventers. "Who", you ask? I'll tell you next time around. I'll also rank the top ten guys that you think deserve the big push and moments and what I think they're chances are. So who should get the top spots now in the WWE? Inquiring minds want to know.
And I'm going to close this here for now. I'm tired of writing and I need a nap. Send comments and questions to Doug28352@yahoo.com. Come visit me at MySpace at www.myspace.com/salt_palace. Add me too. You know you want to.
I'm out of here for now. I'm Doug and you're not! Dat is all de' people need to know! Later gators! Bye!
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