Tossing Salt - Worldwide News
Let The Bodies Hit The Floor Series - Part 3
October 1, 2011
Guess who's back? Back again? No fair, you peeked. I'm Doug and this is the 3rd part of my "Let The Bodies Hit The Floor" series. What I'm doing is taking a look at the entire WWE roster, from A to Z, and analyzing every single superstar to decide, in my humble opinion, who I would keep and who I would future-endeavor, if I was the one making the decisons, to help freshen up the WWE and make things strong and fresh again.
Over the past two columns, I've taken a look at all of the Superstars of the RAW brand. And after much analysis, soul searching and a few flips of a coin, the following changes to the RAW roster would be made, if I was the man with the plan.
Safe and Sound: The Miz, R-Truth, Alberto Del Rio, Beth Phoenix, CM Punk, Drew McIntyre, Dolph Ziggler, Evan Bourne, Eve, Goldust, Jack Swagger, Jim Ross, John Cena, Justin Roberts, Kharma, Kofi Kingston, Mason Ryan, Michael Cole, Michael McGillicutty, Mr. McMahon, Primo, Ricardo Rodriguez, Skip Shefield, Santino, Triple H, Vickie Guerrero and Zack Ryder.
Hit the road, Jack: Kevin Nash, Alex Riley, The Big Show, Brie Bella, Curt Hawkins, David Otunga, Gail Kim, Jerry Lawler, John Laurinaitis, John Morrison, JTG, Kelly Kelly, Maryse, Niki Bella, Rey Mysterio and Scott Stanford.
And with that completed, now let's move a few channels down the TV dial and over to SyFy and the faces of WWE Friday Night Smackdown.
Tossing Salt - Worldwide News: Let The Bodies Hit The Floor Series (Part 3 of 5) - WWE Smackdown
There's no time for love, Mr. Jones. Let's get right to it.
A.J.: She just doesn't do anything for me. It's that simple. I understand that she's relatively new to the WWE and still learning, but that should have been taken care of before she was brought up to the main roster. Once she's on the big stage, it's sink or swim and I think she's sinking fast. She's gone.
Askana: It's only been a few weeks and so far, she's shown me absolutely nothing. I'm not even sure what exactly her role is supposed to be and after a month, that's just not a good sign. She's gone!
Alicia Fox: I like Alicia. She's got a unique look and is okay in the ring. She needs to work on her in-ring technique a bit, but she's passable. I think she has a strong upside to her and could be a major player in rebuilding the Divas division. She's safe.
Booker T: Booker is NOT a good announcer at all, but he is entertaining and still has a strong presence. Let him work as an interviewer and wrestle more often instead of attempting to do the commentary bit. Plus, use him for another season of Tough Enough. He still has a lot to offer the WWE and it's been a while since he's been a major player so he would have a freshness about him. Keep him.
Brodus Clay: He's a modern day monster. Keep him and use him in a hired-muscle type of role. Brodus stays!
Christian: No need to explain this one. I'm a Peep for life. Christian stays!
Cody Rhodes: His promos are great and this character he's developed over the past year has all sorts of potential. He's so twisted and demented with this role as the "disfigured victim" that he reminds me of an updated version of Jake Roberts. It's exactly what you would expect from a guy with Cody's upbringing and family history. He's a big star now and he's only going to get bigger. He's safe.
Daniel Bryan: Despite bad booking, Bryan is still over with the crowd. There is so much that can be done with this guy. He's great in the ring, a fair talker, and just a major player waiting to happen. Use him as benefits a man who headlined cards in Ring of Honor and Japan, under the name "The American Dragon". He's a diamond in the rough and I'd keep him around, polish him up and push him hard, fast and strong.
Ezekiel Jackson: Big Zeke has so much potential and the WWE is just wasting it and him in my eyes. His wrestling skills are not the best and he's not a great talker, but he has a presence that is hard to match. Even among the muscleheads that frequent the WWE locker rooms, he stands out. He's another example of a guy that needs a manager to be his mouthpiece. He's a future star if used right and I'd like to see the WWE do it. Keep him.
Heath Slater: The "One Man Southern Band" is okay in the ring and fair on the mic, but he just doesn't do much for me. He's got potential, but he's not really what you would call a "big time player". He needs to go out and learn, develop his character, improve his skills and step up his game. Sometime in the future, he might be ready to be a WWE Superstar. But he's not ready for it yet. He's gone.
Jack Korpela: Who? Isn't he an announcer? Don't know for sure because I never see him anywhere. He's gone.
Jey Uso: I like the look and they (he and his brother, Jimmy, have potential to be a top tag team for the WWE. They've got skills. They're safe.
Jimmy Uso: Read what I wrote about Jey. Ditto! Safe!
Jinder Mahal: A great look, but he's fizzled awfully quickly since his debut on Smackdown. The in-ring work is a bit sloppy though and he needs to work on that before bring part of the big show. He's getting the boot!
Johnny Curtis: He looked good on NXT, but he's been barely an afterthought since his debut on Smackdown. And I'm not sure if it's just bad booking on the part of the WWE Creative Teams or just that Curtis really doesn't have anything to offer the WWE? It's hard to say. I'm going to give the guy a chance though and assume it's the usual poor decision making that is so strong in the WWE over the past few years. If booked right, he might be someone to look at in the future and build on. He's safe.
Josh Matthews: He's probably the best announcer in the WWE right now who's not from Oklahoma and named Jim Ross. Josh is a talented guy and he's definitely safe.
Justin Gabriel: I like this guy. He's got some good moves and a good look. And he's a sexy beast! He's sticking around for a while.
Kaitlyn: Time for some great poetry. Beth is good and Melina was a whore - I'm keeping Eve, but showing Kaitlyn the door. Hey Snitsky, eat your heart out!
And that's only the beginning. Tomorrow, we get to butcher, I mean "analyze and review" the rest of the Superstars of the Smackdown brand. It should be fun.
And now, before I close for the day, I've got a few more ideas for some shows to help fill up some airtime on the upcoming WWE Network that is due to be up and running by the end of next year. And here they are...
"The Odd Couple": This remake of the classic TV series has CM Punk and "Stone Cold" Steve Austin forced to share an apartment in New York City. With William Regal guest starring as their landlord. Let the laughs begin.
"Tales of the Crypt": Another remake of a classic series, with Paul Bearer as the host, introducing films and making cryptic comments. Kane, The Undertaker. The ECW Zombie and the Boogeyman can also make appearances.
"Conspiracy Theory": R-Truth can host this show which looks into famous scandals and legends, which will give Truth the chance to explain how it's all the fault of Little Jimmy and why he hates spiders. Co-hosted by The Miz & Chris Jericho.
"Masterpiece Theatre": Classic movies, such as "The Chaperone", "See No Evil", "The Marine", and "The Marine II", hosted by "The Masterpiece" Chris Masters. Why not? They're going to be showing those movies quite often anyhow and Chris needs a job.
I need to go work for WWE Creative. Hey Vince, call me! That's all for me now. I'll be back tomorow and we'll finish putting the boots to Smackdown. Questions and comments can be sent to Doug28352@yahoo.com. And if you're a user of Facebook, come see me at www.facebook.com/saltpalace. Add me as a friend. You know you want to.
I'm Doug. See you tomorrow - same Bat time, same Bat station. Have a good one.