WKRP In Cincinnati: New Blood (Part 1)

In a small radio station in Cincinnati, OH...

Station manager Andy Travis is sitting in his office talking to Program Director Bailey Quarters.

"So we've got to get some new talent hired for the on-air talent soon", Andy said. "Johnny is old and, I believe getting senile. And Venus keeps getting offers from all around the country. I'm surprised that he's stayed here this long."

"Johnny isn't senile", Bailey laughed. "He isn't any worse than he was when he started here at the station."

"Oh yeah", Andy smiled.

"And Venus isn't going anywhere. He's stayed here this long, hasn't he? And he has that great syndication deal."

"That syndication deal is all that keeps WKRP afloat", Andy said. "Well, that and regular donations from Jennifer."

"How does that work exactly?", Bailey asked.

"Well, since Jennifer inherited that billion dollar fortune from that oil man down in Texas, she decided to allocate a certain amount each year to keep the station alive", Andy explained.

"And all we have to do is have one day a year in honor of Mr. Carlson", Bailey smiled. "We would do that anyhow."

"You know that and I know that", Andy said. "And Jennifer knows that too. But the money she provides, along with the deal syndicating Venus's show, keeps us able to stay on the air and compete."

"So we need to find some new on-air talent?", Bailey asked.

"We do", Andy said. "We need some new fresh talent to fill in and keep the ratings up when Johnny and Venus are not on the air."

"Well, Les still wants an hour of talk-news to do each day. Maybe that would help spike the ratings?", Bailey suggested.

"Yeah", Andy agreed. "Straight down. Les is the head of the news department. He runs the department and those new kids, Charlie and Shelley, handle the real work. Let's just keep him there."

"Well, he's getting a little antsy", Bailey remarked. "He wants to get back on the air."

"I'll speak to him", Andy said. "Now what are your ideas about new on-air personalities?"

"I've put ads in the local papers and on the internet", Bailey answered. "I'm holding open auditions."

"Are you sure that's smart?", Andy said. "Wouldn't you be better off to just request tapes and resumes? Open auditions bring out the crazies."

"It'll be fun", Bailey said. "And Johnny said he'll help me."

"Good luck", Andy said. "Do it and try to get us two or three good talents, okay?"

"We can do it!", Bailey smiled.

"Okay, I've got to get back to work", Andy laughed. "Sales meeting with Herb in fifteen minutes."

"I thought you hated those sales meetings with Herb?", Bailey asked.

"I do", Andy sighed. "But they make him happy and it gives me an idea of what he's up to."

"Plus Jennifer asked you to keep him around and be nice to him", Bailey smirked.

"That too", Andy sighed.

"Have fun then" Bailey laughed. "I'll go talk to Johnny so we're on the same page when we have the auditions."

Bailey walked out of the office as Andy sat back in his chair.

"Open auditions? That should be a hoot!", he laughed to himself. "Better Bailey and Johnny than me."

Andy leaned over and hit the speaker sitting on his desk, calling to the receptionist.

"When Herb gets here, send him in", Andy told his receptionist. And then leaning back in his chair, he laughed to himself once more.

"Open auditions? Geez!"

**

A few days later, at a local motel, Bailey is waiting in a rented meeting room going over notes. The applicants for the open on-air positions at WKRP had gathered outside in the waiting area. Dr. Johnny Fever came rushing into the room, slamming the door behind him.

"Hi Johnny", Bailey said as he entered.

"Have you seen the crowd out there", Johnny said. "I tried to walk through and they nearly tore me apart."

"Is it that crowded?", Bailey asked, worriedly.

"It's insane", Johnny said. "There is no way we're going to be able to interview everybody in that crowd!"

"But we have to", Bailey said. "We need to find at least two new on-air talents to help back up you and Venus."

"That crowd out there belongs in the circus. Not on the radio", Johnny remarked.

"I'll go out and talk to them and get everyone to behave in an orderly fashion", Bailey said.

"No", Johnny said. "They'll tear you apart! Send someone else."

"Who", Bailey asked.

"Hello Johnny. Hello Bailey", a voice came from the back of the room as a small man wearing a bowtie and glasses walked into the room through the back door.

"Hi Les", both Bailey and Johnny responded at the same time.

"What are you doing here, Les?", Johnny asked the WKRP News Director.

"Well, new personalities for the station is big news", Les said. "I wanted to cover it myself."

"Andy threw you out of the station?", Bailey asked.

"Well... yes", Les admitted. "That too!"

"Les", Johnny said, putting his arm around the newsman's shoulder. "Do you want to help us out?"

"Of course, Johnny", Les said with a big smile.

"Go out there in that room and have those people waiting to audition sit down and wait quietly until we can interview them one by one", Johnny asked.

"Is that all", Les asked. "I'll whip them into shape and get everyone ready. I'll tell them about my six consecutive Silver Sow awards."

"Go for it Les", Johnny said.

Les walked out of the room and into the lobby.

"That was just plain wrong", Bailey told Johnny.

"Better him than us", Johnny said.

Suddenly the door flew open and Les came running back into the room. The sleeves had been torn from his jacket and his glasses were twisted on his pain contorted face.

"Those people are animals", Les screamed.

"Les? What happened", Bailey asked.

"I went out there and told that crowd to listen up and that we were going to get organized so you could start the auditions. But they just started moving up on me closer and closer. They had blood in their eyes!"

"I'm sure it wasn't that bad Les", Johnny said.

"Blood in their eyes, Johnny!", Les said.

"Are you okay", Bailey asked.

"I think I'm going to go over there and sit down", Les said with a heavy sigh.

Bailey and Johnny watched as the battered newsman walked to the back of the room and sat down, collapsing into a chair.

"So now what do we do?", Bailey asked Johnny. "That crowd is going to eat us alive."

Johnny reached into his pocket and pulled out his cell phone.

"I think it's time we called in the big guns!", he said.

"Who?", Bailey asked. "The police? The National Guard?"

"Nope", Johnny said. "Someone with more power and influence than that."

Johnny put the phone to his ear.

"Hello! Jennifer?"

**

A short time later, Bailey, Johnny and Les were holding the door shut as screaming applicants pushed against the door trying to get inside.

"Andy was right", Bailey sighed. "This was a bad idea!"

"You think?", Johnny yelled.

"We won't be able to hold them much longer", Les said frightenedly. "They'll tear us apart!"

"Wait a minute", Bailey said. "Do you hear that?"

"What?", Johnny asked. "I don't hear anything!"

"It's gotten very quiet out there", Les agreed. "The calm before the storm. We're doomed!"

"You're right", Johnny said. "It has gotten quiet."

Suddenly, there was a knock on the door. Bailey, Les and Johnny all jumped in fear.

Another knock and the door opened. Les let out a high pitched scream as Bailey and Johnny grabbed each other and lept under the table, preparing for the onslaught of prospective applicants.

"Hello", a soft voice said.

"What?", Johnny asked. "We're not dead?"

"No Johnny, you're not dead", the soft voice spoke once more.

Johnny looked up and opened his eyes.

"Hi Jennifer", he smiled. "I wasn't frightened, by the way. I knew we weren't dead!"

"I know", Jennifer smiled. "Hello Les. Hello Bailey."

"Jennifer?", Les said. "I am so glad to see you!"

"What happened to the crazy crowd out there", Bailey asked. "How did you get through without getting ripped apart?"

Jennifer smiled.

"I just told them to be quiet and we'd get to them as soon as we could."

"I tried that and they nearly tore me apart", Les said.

"But you're not Jennifer", Johnny said with a knowing smile.

"No... you're not", Jennifer smiled.

"Well, I guess we'd better get to work and start the interviews", Bailey said. "Is everyone ready?"

"That depends", Johnny said. "Are you staying here, Jennifer... for the interviews?"

"Of course", Jennifer smiled.

"Thank God!", Les muttered.

Tossing Salt Is Money In The Bank Predictions: July 16, 2011

Tossing Salt - Worldwide News
July 16, 2011
Doug Maynard

So we're just a few hours away from what is arguably the biggest pay per view event thus far this year, with the exception of Wrestlemania, for the WWE. So many questions in the air and most of them revolve around CM Punk and the WWE Championship. Will he win and leave with the WWE Title? Will Cena win and further cement his legacy. Will Vince be there and fire John Cena? Who will win the Money In The Bank contracts and will either of the much valued title shots be cashed in on Sunday night at the pay per view? I don't claim to know the answers, but I certainly do have some predictions. So with that in mind, this is "Tossing Salt - Worldwide News: The Money In The Bank Prediction Column.". I'm Doug. Let's do this...

WWE Divas Championship Match
Kelly Kelly (c) versus Brie Bella

Don't know and don't really care about this match. I like the Bella's, but they're not exactly what I would call great, or even good wrestlers. And Kelly is just as bad if not worse. It's hard to believe that with talents like Beth Pheonix, Natayla, Trish, Gail Kim or even Vickie Guerrero on the roster, Kelly and Brie are the ones selected to represent the WWE Divas Division on this pay per view. At least Kelly and Brie are fun for most of the male fans to look at. Kelly wins in a short, stinker of a match and then moves on to a feud with Alicia Fox (as teased on this week's Smackdown.

Winner: Kelly Kelly

"The World's Strongest Man" Mark Henry versus "The World's Largest Athlete" The Big Show

This is actually a match that I'm looking forward to seeing. I've always liked Mark Henry when he's the bad-ass character and I think he's really found his niche as of late. Living by the motto "Somebody's Gonna Get Their Ass Kicked" is where this guy needs to be. Someone that big and strong who has been around as long as Henry has not being portrayed as a monster is borderline criminal. I like Big Show to a point, but time and injuries have taken their toll on the big man. It's been nice though to see him, as of late, just cutting loose and being a monster too. It's how he should be portrayed all the time and not just when Vince gets his panties in a wad.

So we've got two monsters here. It's Godzilla versus King Kong and to be honest, it can go either way without hurting either wrestler all that much. But looking at the future, Show doesn't need the win. We all know that when he's PO'ed, he's dangerous. Henry is really finding his momentum right now and really getting his groove on. He can survive a loss to the Big Show, but it would stall the progress a bit. I think Henry is going to take it after a brutal, stiff, and kick-ass brawl. Henry will probably win by a DQ.

Winner: "The World's Strongest Man" Mark Henry

Raw Money In The Bank Match
Kofi Kingston vs Rey Mysterio vs Evan Bourne vs Jack Swagger vs Alex Riley vs The Miz vs Alberto Del Rio vs R-Truth

Let's go ahead and clear away the deadwood at the start. Evan Bourne is not going to win this. And neither is Kofi Kingston. They'll hit some big spots, make some incredible moves and be heavily featured on the highlight reel, but they won't win. Truth won't win either. He'll come extremely close, but something will happen to hinder his attempts at grabbing the suitcase (possibly some interference by John Morrison) and Truth will be taken out of the match. But he'll have plenty of fresh material to build upon in his conspiracy arguments against the WWE Universe and Little Jimmy.

So that leaves Rey, Swagger, Miz, Riley and Del Rio. Del Rio is a strong pick, but I think he's being saved to "fill his destiny" at Summerslam against whoever is the WWE Champion at that time. And he's already the Number One contender after Punk, via his win in the Triple Threat match on RAW a couple of weeks ago. So that takes out Alberto. Riley isn't ready for it yet so he's out as well. And while I can see Rey being pushed for another title run in the future, he's just not what they need right now as the face of RAW.

So by process of elimination, we get Jack Swagger and The Miz. Hmmmm! I would love to see Miz as Mr. Money In The Bank again, but we've already been down that road. Jack Swagger is a former MITB winner too and a former World Champion and maybe with Michael Cole as his manager, I could see some fun in our future with Swagger as the MITB guy. But he's been losing regularly to Evan Bourne on television and that's definitely not a good sign.

Hard choices here. I can think of reasons both for and against each man in this match, especially if the evening goes down as I suspect it will. I really don't know who to pick. Since he's arguably the number two guy used as the face of the WWE, after Cena, I guess I'll go with The Miz. Let's find out what happens when people stop being nice and start being real. Miz wins the MITB match for RAW.

Winner: The Miz

Smackdown Money In The Bank Match
Daniel Bryan vs Sheamus vs Cody Rhodes vs Sin Cara vs Heath Slater vs Justin Gabriel vs Kane vs Wade Barrett

Another match that looks like it's going to be a lot of fun with eight of the best ever. It's not quite as hard to pick a winner for this match as the other MITB, but there are a couple of strong possibilities who have a good chance of winning. We can go ahead and rule out Justin Gabriel, Heath Slater, Sin Cara and Daniel Bryan. All of these guys are considered low on the totem pole or too new to be put in such a high profile position by the WWE, at least in my opinion. Kane is possible, but he did it last year and I don't think the WWE wants to repeat itself too obviously, especially if Miz wins the other match as I suspect. Sheamus is already heavily in the title picture with Randy and Christian, so he doesn't need the win or contract. He's be a fun one to carry it though. I love Cody's character these days and can see some great promos and vignettes from the WWE's answer to the Phantom of the Opera if he was to win. And Wade Barrett is borderline at that glass ceiling, waiting to break through.

I think it's between those final three I mentioned - Cody, Wade and Sheamus. As in the other match, I can think of reasons, both pro and con, for having each man win or not win the match. Who needs it most and can do the most with the MITB contract and scenario? I think I'll go for the son of the son of the plumber, Cody Rhodes. Sheamus doesn't need it and my gut tells me that Wade isn't quite it yet. So let's all grab a paper bag to wear and give it up for the deformed one, Cody Rhodes.

Winner: Cody Rhodes

World Heavyweight Championship Match
Randy Orton (c) versus Christian

Christian gets another rematch and this time, we get stipulations. If Randy gets DQ'ed or if there is "poor officiating", then the title changes hands and goes to Christian. And if Randy wins, he moves on to the challenges of Sheamus, Mark Henry, the MITB winner, etc and Christian has to go back and start all over again in his quest to be the World Champion.

This should be a really good match. Randy and Christian have good chemistry and work really well together. As for how it all comes down, I would love to see Christian be the World Champion once more. He is a great talent and really does deserve it. But will the WWE give him a clean win, for the title, over their precious Randy? I doubt it. So here's how I think it will go down.

Randy and Christian have a great match. It goes back and forth and finally, as Randy finally gets control and is ready to put "Captain Charisma" away, Sheamus comes out and comes to ringside. He's up on the apron and distracts Randy. Randy and Sheamus argue and the referee is trying to keep control. Suddenly, Sheamus spins and plants Christian with a wicked "Brogue Kick". The referee has no choice, but call for the bell. Randy is DQ'ed for outside interference and, via the stipulations in the contract, the title changes hands. Randy argues with the ref and then goes after Sheamus, but to no avail as Sheamus has fled the ringside area. Christian is stunned and confused, but happy. He's the new champ.

Winnerby DQ (and NEW World Champion) Christian.

WWE Championship Match
John Cena versus C.M. Punk

And here's the match that everyone wants to see. Will Punk win the title and take it with him as he leaves the WWE? Will Cena become "Super-Cena" once more and overcome all the odds to cleanly pin Punk in the middle of the ring? Will Vince come to the ring and recreate the "Montreal Screwjob" by calling for the bell and "protecting the WWE"? Here's what I think should happen.

Punk and Cena wrestle a helluva match and pull out all the stops as we know they're capable of doing. I'm hoping that Punk has Colt Cabana and Luke Gallows with him at ringside or at least in the audience. Back and forth with so many two-counts, the fans are dizzy with excitmement. Let Vince come to ringside to "tease" a screwjob ending, but Cena can stop him and tell him "no way".

And in the end, Cena gets the big comeback and hits the "Five Moves". Well, most of them, but as he goes for the "AA", Punk slides out and counters with a "GTS". He scores and Cena is down and out. Punk covers and goes for the pin, but there is no referee. McMahon has pulled the ref to the floor. Punk goes outside to argue with Vince and we see Colt & Gallows come from their seat and go after Vince. Punk gets back in the ring with the ref and the ref counts a long two as Cena kicks out.

Punk continues to go after Cena, but it's comeback time once more and this time, there is no escape as Cena is in full superman mode and this time, hits all of his moves. He scores with the AA and covers for the pin. Here comes Gallows and Cabana into the ring and they attack Cena. The ref calls for the bell as Punk, Cabana and Gallows do the big time beatdown on John Cena.

Winner by DQ (and still WWE Champion) John Cena

But it's not over as Punk, Gallows and Cabana continue to work over Cena, who at this point is barely concious and a bloody mess. And music hits. Here comes the winner of the MITB match, The Miz. The Miz grabs a chair and chases Punk and friends from the ring. He then climbs into the ring and see's John Cena struggling to get to his feet, barely sure of where he is or what's going on. As Punk watches and smiles at ringside, The Miz crashes the chair down across the head of John Cena. Cena is down again and he's out. Miz hands the referee his briefcase and covers the unconcious Cena. The referee has no choice, but to call for a bell and then drop down to make the three count. Miz pins Cena and is the new WWE Champion.

And that's where we end.

So what do you think? Is it possible that the pay per view will go in that direction or will they take it entirely somewhere else? I have no idea, but I'm thinking (hoping) that as I've predicted it, so it will be. One can only hope.

And on that note, I'm out of here. Don't forget to check out my fic-site for all things Dougie at www.tsfiction.blogspot.com. Questions and comments can be sent to Doug28352@yahoo.com. I'm Doug and you're not. Catch you on the flip side. Ubuntu!

Tossing Salt Is Smackdown: July 15. 2011

Tossing Salt Is WWE Smackdown
July 15, 2011
Doug Maynard

"Hey there, Georgie Girl" Remember that song? Nope? Me neither, although according to certain members of my family who love to make up stories about my childhood and make me look even more foolish than the "Home Alone" kid swear that I loved to sing it when I was extremely little and wearing my shoes in the bathtub. I totally deny that claim though. Show me the video proof. Or the DNA evidence. I know people that know people and if the glove doesn't fit, they must aquit. And we all know that such claims are only as true as the President's plans to fix the economy and honest politicians. Good in theory, but in the real world, they are just like Charo... crazy as coochie-coochie and truly just a figment of our imaginations.

So what's the point. It's the tip of a nose, but that's not important right now. I just want to sit here on my computer and talk about that things that matter most in life. Of course, that is caffeine addiction and turkey breast sandwiches. Yummy! I'm addicted to caffeine and I'm cooking a turkey right now. True story. It's a "brown and serve" yard bird, weighing about eleven pounds (or the size of John Mayer's head) and it was on sale. Actually, it was free. I'm a person that knows people and when doing my duties that I do, the person I do the deeds with when doing my duties gave me the bird, saying "this one's for you" because I'm such a great guy. Or maybe there was an ulterior motive. Maybe he wanted the secret defense plans for the nuclear base in Outer Mongolia. Or is that inner city Detroit? I always get the two of those mixed up. Regardless of the reason (he wants my body - I know it), he gave me a small turkey. Gobble gobble! And I'm cooking it. The whole house is reeking of cooked fowl. And I'm loving it. Who needs to wait for Thanksgiving? "Not I?", said the goose. So that covers the turkey talk.

As for the caffeine speak, I wanted some. I went and got some. I went to Food Lion, bought my drinks and came home. I'm a loyal Food Lion shopper, even though I truly do believe that they should start delivering the groceries. I remember all of those old sitcoms and movies in the older days and they always had a boy at each of the stores that delivered the groceries. That is a practice that needs to be brought back, much like slinkies and Ms. Pac Man. Johnny Depp delivered groceries in the movie, "What's Eating Gilbert Grape". Therefore, if the stores starting delivering groceries, they might come up with the next Johnny Depp. There are a few baggers at the local store that I would love to have deliver to me. And they could even bring groceries if they want to. Or come alone and forget about the groceries. Either way is fine. I would be glad to give them a tip. And a piece of pie. Always gotta have the pie. I like Pecan Pie. Lots of nuts. I also like Lemon Meringue. I think I spelled that wrong. So long as it tastes good though, I can deal with bad spelling. Bad spelling, yes! Tori Spelling, no! She's annoying. Aaron Spelling made some good shows though. I loved Dynasty!

Okey-doke, since we've taken care of the rambling portion of this, now let's move on to the real nitty gritty. It's Friday night and that means that in just a few minutes, it'll be time for the WWE and Friday Night Smackdown. It's the go home show for the Money In The Bank pay per view, which is quickly shaping up, due to Mr. CM Punk, to be the biggest show of the year for WWE, apart from Wrestlemania and SummerSlam of course. And the Royal Rumble. Can't forget that one. It's a mighty important show for the WWE. Both the PPV and the episode of Smackdown for tonight. I guess that means I should do a recap, right? Of course it does. So I think I will. I've got a plate full of turkey sitting here next to me. Tastes great, by the way. Yummy! And I've got a cold Diet Dew beside me as well. I'm set for the evening. And since I don't have any other plans, I may as well be de' man and do it. First Impact last night and now Smackdown tonight? Damn, I'm good! So...

I'm Doug and it's Friday night. And this is "Tossing Salt Is WWE Friday Night Smackdown!". Let's do this...

Michael Cole, Booker T and Josh Matthews are the hosts. There is lots of pyro going on at the Mohegan Sun Casino and the crowd seems to be pumped. Randy Orton is fighting Kane tonight. Ted DiBiase will be taking on Ezekiel Jackson later for the Intercontinental Championship as well. Josh is in the ring and he calls out World Champion Randy Orton. Josh brings up that if Randy is DQ'ed on Sunday, Christian becomes the champ. Randy says that he will not get DQ'ed on Sunday. He's proven that there is more than one way to beat Christian. Christian knows he can't beat Randy - simple as that. Christian is on the Titantron. He doesn't want to beat Randy by DQ. He just wants to have a classic match. Christian has a present for Randy. It's a pic of Christian standing over Randy, holding the World title up high after laying Randy out. Christian says that this is how it will end on Sunday with him as the new World Champion.

Randy sees what Christian is trying to do. It's pathetic. Christian explains what is pathetic, and talks about Randy's family by taking shots at "Cowboy" Bob Orton, who he calls a "glorified sidekick". He compares Bob Orton to Drew Carey and Bob Euker and calls him a joke. Bob Orton is only in the HOF since the WWE Brass wanted to keep Randy happy. They're pathetic. Randy invites Christian to come to the ring and repeat what he said. Christian said he'll do it after Sunday after he wins the title. Randy calls Christian a pathetic excuse for a man and superstar and is a flash in the pan, who's only claim to fame was his best friend helping him be a champ for five days. That's pathetic. Randy glares and mutters to himself as we cut to Michael Cole who explains the stipulations for the match on Sunday. Josh changes the subject to Mark Henry versus The Big Show and this leads into a video package highlighting the issues and drama as of late between the two huge monsters of men. Those are some big-ass dudes! Later tonight, Big Show and Mark Henry will face off.

Eden Stiles is in the ring doing the intros.

Intercontinental Championship Match
Ezekiel Jackson (c) versus Ted DiBiase

No Cody Rhodes tonight so Teddy is on his own. Teddy slaps Zeke, who rebounds with some pounding and clubbering. Zeke mauls Teddy for a two and then tosses Teddy to the floor. Zeke follows, but gets posted by Teddy, who follows up with a dropkick on the outside. Teddy puts Zeke in the ring and gets two. Teddy stomps a mudhole in Zeke. Zeke charges and Teddy hits a drop toehold for two. Chinlock by Teddy. We see Cody watching from the back. Zeke with elbows and a stiff clothesline. It's all Zeke now as he flattens Teddy in the corner. It's multi-slam time by Zeke. Torture rack countered by Ted into Dreamstreet. Zeke counters by backing that ass up and squashing Teddy in the corner. Zeke is in control and it's torture rack time (Shades of Lex Luger) for the submission win.

Winner and STILL Champion: Ezekiel Jackson

Still to come, Sin Cara takes on Sheamus. Plus World Champion Randy Orton takes on Kane. Plus Daniel Bryan takes on Cody Rhodes and that match is coming up next.

Ted DiBiase is waling around the back. Cody wants to know what happened. Ted says he tried, but Cody isn't buying it and gives him a bag. That bag is for losers like the WWE Universe. Cody decides to give Teddy one more chance, but if he loses again, Cody will personally put the bag on Ted's head. A young guy is there and Cody "bags" him as Ted watches. Daniel Bryan comes to the ring and we see a video feature highlighting the issues and circumstances between Daniel Bryan and Cody Rhodes and his bags.

Daniel Bryan versus Cody Rhodes

Cody comes to the rings and he has his "baggers" with him to distribute bags for the fans to wear on their heads. One of the baggers takes a bag over to Booker T to wear. Bryan starts off with chops and a roll for two. Cody hits a shoulder and Bryan throws some kicks. Dropkick by Bryan while Cody is tied in the ropes. Suicide dive by Bryan and both men are down on the outside as we go to commerical. And just noting, Michael Cole is wearing the bag that was given to Booker, "just to see what it will be like for Ted DiBiase if he loses again". Cole is an idiot, but I like the bag look for him. He should keep it... permanently.

We come back and Cody plants Bryan with an inverted suplex and a slam. Cody goes to work on the leg with a single-leg crab. Bryan kicks out and fights back with punches and forearms. A roll by Bryan for two. Cody with some stomps and then the knees in the gut. Cody gets two. More kicks by Cody and he goes back to the leg, locking back up the half-crab. Bryan makes the ropes. Bryan fights back again and it's fist city. Bryan takes the advantage and scores with a clothesline. A flying knee by Bryan for two. Fists by Bryan to the face. A drop toehold by Cody and he takes back control. Cody plants Bryan with a slam for two. Bryan dropped in the corner and thy're back and forth. Bryan falls to the floor, but comes back and hits the missle dropkick from the top rope. Bryan covers for a two. Dropkick by Bryan and he places Cody on the top. Bryan gets crotched and Cody hits the flying kick and Cody covers for the pin.

Winner: Cody Rhodes

Teddy Long is in his office talking on the phone. Here is a referee. Teddy tells the ref that if Mark Henry and Big Show have any physicality tonight, they're match is cancelled. Teddy talks about gambling on the phone to his friend and then here comes Kane. He thanks Teddy for giving him the match against Orton tonight. Kane says that something is wrong. He's a monster and monster's don't lose to anyone. He's feeling less and less like a monster and more like a human. He doesn't like it. He wants to know what's happening to him. Teddy tells Kane that he's scaring the hell out of him right now. We go to a video promoting the CM Punk - John Cena match for Money In The Bank. That's what everyone is wanting to see and I have to admit, I do too. The other matches are just filler. And if Cena wins, we riot!

Did you know that there are 80 Superstars in the WWE Hall of Fame.

We see Jinder Mahal getting photographed. Khali is there too and Jinder threatens the photographer for taking pics of Khali. His face is all that matters. Haven't Jinder and Khali seen the WWE's anti-bullying efforts? I think they might need to see it again. We see Christian backstage looking at Randy Orton's private bus and he seems impressed. He wants one for himself. The peeps would like that. We see vandalism as there are insults spray-painted about Orton and Teddy Long. The vandal, whoever it is *wink wink* is expecting Christian to be the next World Champion. (It wasn't me - I have an alibi). Christian is shocked and says that he'll find out who did that dastardly deed. He'll find out because he cares. Funny.

Unexpected Moment Of The Week - Sheamus cleans the ring of the MITB participants last week on Smackdown.

Sheamus versus Sin Cara

Wade Barrett is at ringside joining the commentary. Both men get into the ring and we go to a commercial. Of course we do. Why am I not surprised? We start the match and Sheamus just tosses Sin Cara around. A hurracurrana by Sin Cara and Sheamus eats turnbuckle. Kicks by Sin Cara. Sheamus takes control, but Cara flips him around. Sheamus with the backbreaker for two. Cara with an elbow and a headscissors. Sheamus bullies Cara into the ropes and clubs away. A big "Shades of Wrestling II" kneelift by Sheamus and he locks in the neck-vice. Sin Cara with fists, but Sheamus with the elbows and kicks. Fist city bySheamus and back into the chinlock. Knee by Sheamus, but misses the kick and goes to the floor, injuring his knee. Cara with a drokick and a kick to the face. Sheamus rams Cara into the corner and a "Shades of Scott Hall" fallaway slam. Sheamus goes for a powerbomb, but Cara slides free with the roll for a pin.

Winner: Sin Cara

Cara leaves the ring quixkly after getting his win. Wade Barrett enters the ring and flattens Sheamus with a big kick and "Wasteland". Barrett stands over Shemaus and points upward to signify his chances of winning Money In The Bank. We see Christian and he found a wallet backstage. It's Randy Orton's wallet. He goes through the wallet, tossing stuff away and making comments on the photos of Randy's wife. He takes the money from the wallet and decides to make Randy a little extra cash to help Randy pay for "Anger Management Courses" or his daughters college fun. Christian bets all of Randy's money on "1" which is Randy's birthday. Christian loses. He asks if it's rigged. Christian says that it looks like Randy's luck just ran out.

And here is Teddy Long coming to the ring. Holla! Holla! Holla! He says that he has arranged a face-off between Mark Henry and Big Show. Both men have to behave or else Teddy will call off the match for Sunday. He calls out the Big Show and Mark Henry (seperately of course). Mark stays on the ramp because he doesn't want to lose his temper. Henry and Show trade insults and Henry says that it was Show's fault. We see video of Show ambusing Mark Henry last month and sending Henry out on a stretcher. Show admits that what he did changed Henry. They've been waiting fifteen years for Henry to show his stuff and be the "World's Strongest Man". He lit a fire under Henry and tells Mark to direct that fire in other directions. Henry says that stronger is better than big. Meaner is better than big. Better is better! Mark Henry says that Show has no idea what he's capable of. Show says that Henry has no idea what he can do and forget about Sunday... let's do it right now. Teddy says that it isn't happening. They'll collide soon enough on Sunday and then, they can let God sort it out. Show and Henry trade dirty looks as the segment ends. "The Life Of A Masked Man" about Rey Mysterio is now available on DVD - look for it.

WWE Diva Match
Rosa Mendes w/ Alicia Fox versus Kelly Kelly

Kelly rides and rolls up Rosa for two. Rosa grabs hair and throws punches. A surfboard by Rosa. Kelly flips Rosa to escape and throws a kick. Neckbreaker by Kelly for two. Stinkface by Kelly and a bulldog. A kick and the leg across the back of the neck for the pin.

Winner: Kelly Kelly

As Kelly celebrates, Alicia gives her a small hand of applause. We see Johnny Curtis. He'll be making his debut on Smackdown sooner than anyone thinks. He pulls a cat out of the bag, or tries anyhow, but it's an elephant. Curtis complains that the "elephant in the room" isn't until next week. Johnny tears up the elephant and stalks off. Coming up is Randy Orton versus Kane. After the commercial break, the announcers plug the MITB Ladder Match and we get a sneak peek at what Money In The Bank is all about with a MITB highlight reel video package, plus a recap of the rest of the card for Sunday.

It's Christian again and he's a fan of Randy's. He talks about Randy's movie career and we see a deleted scene from "That's What I Am" where Randy is being an ass and raising questions about one of the other characters. Christian pops up and calls Randy a "bad actor" for bad acting and caveman expressions. Christian gives kudos to Orton for his acting career and typecasting as a ill-tempered, hateful bully and wishes him best of luck later tonight in the match against Kane. Did you know that Smackdown has been the number one show on SyFy since it's debut.

Justin Gabriel versus Heath Slater

Slater has the mic. They were on top of the world as a tag team,but lately Justin's been dropping the ball and he's tired of sharing the spotlight because he's the "One Man Rock Band". Justin goes after the arm, but Heath reverses. Lots of switches and reversals. Some great back and forth. Justin with shoulders and a kick . Heath with the fist and some kicks. Knees to the back and a chinlock. Justin fights to escape and scores with a kick. Heath misses a charge and Justin goes up. Slater drops Justin and goes up, missing a backsplash. Justin up with the 450 splash and the pin.

Winner: Justin Gabriel

We see Kane and Orton in the back. And they're split-screen and walking towards the ring. The main event is coming up next. After the commercial, we get a video message from CM Punk. It's highlights of the last few weeks and Punk's great promos building up to big main event match Sunday night at the PPV as Punk fights Cena for the WWE Championship.

Non-Title Match
World Champion Randy Orton versus Kane

Randy with fists in the corner. Kane fights back and levels Randy. A big splash in the corner by Kane (repeatedly) for two. Chrstian comes out on the ramp. Kane goes upstairs and hits the big fist from the top. Kane goes for the chokeslam, but Randy gets free and throws fists. Clotheslines by Randy and a big powerslam. Randy with a kick an he plants Kane with the DDT. He's setting up for the RKO, but Randy pushes free. Randy spots Christian and is distracted. Both go to the floor as Kane uses a clothesline. Randy goes after Christian as the referee counts. Randy is counted out.

Winner by Count-Out: Kane

Randy is upset and starts chasing Christian around the ringside area. Randy chases Christian into the ring and gets leveled by Kane. Kane chases Christian from the ring and gets caught by Randy's RKO> Christian hits Randy with the spear! Christian goes to the floor and gets a chair. He goes after Randy, but Randy hits him with a kick and Christian flees the ring. Randy gets the chair and he starts pounding away at Kane with the chair. Kane is out as Christian watches from the stage.

And there you go. It's the go home show for the WWE leading to the pay per view and I think, overall, they did a good job working towards and building to the show on Sunday night. The in-ring action tonight wasn't especially great, but considering that the entire roster is exhausted and jet-lagged from their recent overseas touring, that's to be expected. It was still a decent show.

And I'm out of here for now as well. I've got things to do, people to see, places to go and legacies to create. Actually, I'm just going to grab a quick shower before time to watch my favorite vampire-slaying show at 11:00. Yep, I'm a Buffy the Vampire Slayer fan and proud of it. So I need to get to getting, step to stepping and roll to rolling. That means that, as the legendary Baron Von Raschke would say, "Take Me Out To The Ballpark!". Look for that promo on YouTube from the Baron's AWA days. It's hilarious. And the Baron was cool! 'Nuff said.

Hit me up at Doug28352@yahoo.com for questions, comments, etc. Go visit my fic site at www.tsfiction.blogspot.com for all things that are literary and Dougie-Fresh combined. And on that, I'm like justice in a Florida courtroom - I am gone! Until the next time, Ubuntu!

Tossing Salt Is Impact Wrestling: July 14, 2011

Tossing Salt Is Impact Wrestling!
July 14, 2011
Doug Maynard

Last week was so much fun, I just had to do it again. Nope, we're not talking about the WWE. This is Total Non-Stop Action Impact Wrestling and even though I doubt that we'll have as much great action and excitement as last week, I expect this might actually be a pretty good show. At least I hope so. It's the "Mid-Summer Nightmare". This is "Tossing Salt Is Impact Wrestling!" It's live (on tape) from the Impact Zone in Orlando, FL. "The Professor" Mike Tenay and Taz are calling the action. On the card for tonight are (at least) two big main events. It's The British Invasion taking on Mexican American (are we ready for Chavo yet?) and in the main event, TNA World Champion Mr. Anderson... Anderson takes on Joker 2011, also known as Sting. It's showtime folks!

By the way, just to let you know, I'm not a regular viewer of TNA Impact Wrestling. Yeah, I know! It's shocking, isn't it? I know most of the players and most of the storylines, but if I refer to someone by the wrong name (like Brian Kendricks, who I still prefer to call Spanky or Hulk Hogan, who I prefer to call all sorts of nasty names), don't stress it. That's just how I roll. And there are some folks (The British Invasion, Mexican American, some of the Knockouts) that I'm not a hundred percent sure of yet either, due to lack of familiarity. At least I'm admitting it. But I'll do the best I can with the recap. Just saying. So since all of that is out of the way, let's get on with it. I'm Doug and let's do this...

We open up with a video highlighting that Sting is a crazy-ass and he's facing the newest member of Immortal, who just happens to be the TNA World Champion, Mr. Anderson, later tonight. After a look at the recent craziness, here comes Immortal to the ring and it's promo time. Eric Bischoff, Hulk Hogan, Abyss, Scott Steiner, Bully Ray and Gunner, plus a lot of leggy chick women, are coming on down to the ring. What a way to start the show. Can I go home now? Looks like Eric is talking first. He sends the girls to the back. Eric is happy. They have a card table in the ring. The table is there because they're going to gamble with some careers. He talks about the party that Mr. Anderson had a few weeks ago that no one came to. It's was premature partylation. They're going to throw Ken Anderson a party because he's part of their family. He's their World Champion and will leave tonight as the World Champion. Eric introduces Mr. Anderson.

Here comes Ken Anderson... Anderson. What a tux! Wish I had one of those back in my prom days. I didn't even know they made tuxedos in camaflouge. Hogan has the mic now. He loves the look. Hogan and Anderson haven't always seen eye to eye, but they share a common bond to be the best. Hogan welcomes Anderson into the family with a hug. Anderson says thank you. It's a gamble with him joining Immortal, but so long as he remains the top card, it's a gamble he's willing to take.

Lights go out and Joker-Sting is there sitting at the poker table. He talks about gambling. Eric wants to know what Sting is up to. He's always respected Sting as a stand-up guy. Eric calls Sting "the cancer" and says Anderson will take out the cancer once and for all. Sting wants to know if Eric wants to bet on that. Sting see's himself becoming the World Champion once again and he wants to take the company back to Dixie Carter. Hogan tells Sting not to push it and makes some threats. Hogan says Sting is going down and going out on a stretcher tonight, brutha! Sting says "NO!". Sting says that Hulk is wrong and he's got plenty of Aces. He has the "Network" Ace in his book because Hogan and Eric are on thin ice. Sting is going to be the new World Champion. And contrary to what Hogan says, Sting has lots of aces. He tosses cards at Immortal . He points to the rafters adn we see lots of clown-faced guys in masks and carrying bats. Eric calls Sting a freak and Sting says his friends are going to watch his back. Sting flips the poker table and the lights go out. They come back on and Sting is gone as Immortal is standing in the ring, clueless as ever and trying to figure out what's up.

So tonight is "Revenge of the Doinks!". So far, so good. Eric is looking old these days. And Hogan looks like he's shrunk about five inches or so. But I like the new crazy, "Shades of Heath Ledger" Sting. He's a damn trip. Talk about reinventing himself into a relevent character. Sting has done a great job so far and I'm actually looking forward to seeing more. Too bad "Big Poppa Pump" didn't get to shout out to his freaks tonight. I feel neglected. So sad!

We get a "Bound For Glory" series update with standings, highlights, and all of that jazz. Taz and Tenay do the voiceover. Lots of wrestlers talk. Tonight, Bobby Roode, Samoa Joe and The Pope fight in a three-way match to get some points and head for a World Title Match at Bound For Glory.

Bound For Glory Series Match - Three Way Dance
Samoa Joe vs Bobby Roode vs The Pope

Joe throws Pope to the floor and squashes Roode. Joe just domiates on Roode and locks in the Code Red armbreaker. Pope breaks it up and flees to the floor. Joe continues to dominate with a spinebuster. Pope breaks it up again and Joe goes to the floor. Pope works on the arm of Roode. Roode fights back, but Pope gets a kick for two. Pope kicks Joe to the floor and DDT's Roode for a two. Pope goes up and hits the flying fist for two. A blow to Joe to keep him on the floor and here comes Bobby Roode with clotheslines on Pope. Roode is fighting back. Joe knocked to the floor again. Roode snaps the neck of the Pope for two. Roode in control over the Pope. Pope fights back, but Roode catches him. Joe back up with headbutt for Roode. He sets up Pope for Muscle Buster, but Roode breaks it up. Pope and Roode fight. Joe locks in choke from behind on Roode. They fall back and Joe had the hold locked in, but his shoulders are down and Roode gets the pin as referee Earl Hebner, who screwed Bret (remember that?) counts the three count..

Winner: Bobby Roode

Joe is mad and argues with the referee. Lots of other referees come into the ring and get referee Earl Hebner out of there as Joe continues to complain. We see Jeff Jarrett and Karen Jarrett coming into the arena. They're back from Mexico. Looks like it's time for a Siesta! Choke on that, slapnuts!

Hogan is in the office and he wants Sting eliminated. Eric tells Immortal to be professional and ethical. Accidents happen. Hogan says make sure Sting doesn't make it to the ring and it doesn't come back to them. Abyss offers to make it happen, but Eric talks junk about how Abyss had the chance to end the X-Division and couldn't get it done at the pay-per-view. He tells Abyss to follow the leaders and tells Immortal to get it done. Jeff and Karen Jarrett enter the room. Jeff is Mr.Motivational Speaker Man and they have presents for everyone. Jeff went to Mexico and he's brought back some gold. He's the Mexican Champion.

Pope is in the back talking to his friends and they support him. It's Devon's sons. Here is Devon. He tells Pope to stay away from his sons and his sons to stay away from the Pope. Devon says those are his boys and they are nothing to the Pope. Pope says they look up to him. Devon talks trash and says that Pope needs to stay away from his boys. Devon doesn't trust Pope. Devon calls Pope stupid for giving him points last week. Pope warns Devon that if his boys turn on Devon for how he treats the Pope, it may or may not come back. Devon tells Pope to get the hell out of here.

We see some highlights from the pay per view last Sunday night that showcased the X-Division. One helluva wrestling card to be sure. "Get your hands up!" I can see why they call themselves "Impact" wrestling. These damn guys are bump-city central. Ouch!!

Shannon Moore versus Austin Aries

This should be a helluva good match. Aries has signed a contract and is now an official part of TNA. Shannon with armdrags by the Punkster, Shannon. Austin wants a handshake. Shannon slaps the hand away. Austin mocks Shannon and Shannon takes offense. Austin with headlock, but Shannon trips him up with inverted drop and kick for two. Shannon with kick and a roll for two. Moonsault by Shannon for two. Austin clubs Shannon and hits with a low dropkick. Shannon flies with a flip to the floor and Austin is down. Shannon up with a backsault kick, but Austin kicks out at two and goes outside. Austin gets Shannon's book. Shannon rips book away. Referee is distracted and Austin uses Shannon's chain and plants Shannon on the head. Austin gets the pin.

Winner: Austin Aries

Alex Shelley is out and he gets in Austin's face. He complains that Austin used the chain, but Austin doesn't care what Shelley thinks or saw. He won. Aries walks to the back as Shelley complains to the fans about the chain. We see Abyss is in the back and he cuts a promo. He's mad at Spanky and he's getting his X-Division title back tonight. He's not waiting for a rematch. Blah Blah Blah! Whatever. Typical monster seeks revenge promo. It's "Revenge of the Doinks" as a masked, clown-face nails him from behind with a bat and lays out the monster. Abyss is down and the clown-face walks off.

Shannon is in the back and complaining about Aries using the chain and cheating. Shelley says Aries can't be much if he has to cheat. Aries says he's the best. We see Tara and she's looking forward to beating up "The Queen", Madison Rayne, later in the night. Or is she?. Lots of clips for the match tonight with Tara versus Madison Rayne. Madison says Tara is ungrateful and owes her. She brings up Tara's first match and a match later on where Madison beat Tara and retired her. And then we have Tara says that she wants to bury the past and be friends again. She has a present for Madison, but Madison can't get it until after the match. Tara is excited. Later tonight, Tara versus Madison Rayne and Sting taking on Mr. Kennedy for the TNA World Championship.

We have Kurt Angle, Bully Ray and some others talking about Philadelphia and the "Bound For Glory" series. They will show the world how much wrestling matters because it's "my time" and they talk about being the greatest wrestler. On October 16th, it's Bound For Glory and Wrestling Matters. We see Scott Steiner talking to a freak. It's "Attack of The Doinks" again as a clown face attack and lays out Scotty Steiner with a bat. We go to the ring.

Knockouts Match
Madison Rayne versus Tara

Tara has a package for Madison and brings it to the ring. Madison likes gifts. Tara won't give it to her until after the match. Madison wants Tara to lay down for her and give her the win. Tara slaps Madison and levels her with a clothesline. Slam by Tara and a backflip. Tara slams Madison's head into the mat. Madison with a knee, but Tara with the clothesline. Sideslam by Tara and she's in total control. Madison with a backdrop and a kick as she slams Tara to the mat. Tara with a slap, but Madison knocks her to the floor. Madison follows and slams Tara into the ring and then the steps. Madison is in contol now. Madison is going after the package that Tara brought. Madison opens it up and it's Tara's tarantula. Madison is freaking and Tara grabs her up and plants her with the Widows Peak.

Winner: Tara

Tara picks up her spider "Poison" and pulls it out of the cage. She threatens Madison with the spider and Madison screams and flees the ring as Tara chases after her with the spider in her hand. Tara and "Poison" celebrate their win. Tara (Victoria) still looks hot! WWE was stupid to let her leave when they did. Later tonight is Sting versus Mr. Anderson. We see Kurt Angle and he's walking, headed towards the ring.

We see The British Invasion backstage. They're talking about what is relevant and irrelevant. It's all about wresting winning the tag team titles. That's what matters. Here comes Kurt Angle to the ring. He's the number one contender and he gets his shot at Hardcore Justice. But will it be Sting or Mr. Anderson and that depends on what happens tonight. He picks Mr. Anderson because they have a history. Kurt brings up their match at last year's Lockdown. And last week too when Anderson left Kurt laid out and joined Immortal. Kurt is coming after Ken and is going to hurt him. As for Sting, they have a history. Remember "Main Event Maffia" and the "Empty Arena Match"? Kurt has never beaten Sting and that's tough. It pisses him off and makes him want to beat Sting's ass. Kurt is going to watch tonight's match and Hardcore Justice, he will be walking out as the Impact World Champion. It's real! It's damn real!

We see Jeff Jarrett and Karen in the back. It looks like they're leaving. Karen is struggling with the bags as Jeff says that Bubba and the others can take care of things there. They're leaving. "Revenge of the Doinks" time again as it's clown-face time as Karen opens the back of the car and sees a painted, smiley clown face staring back at her. She's freaking and screaming. He attacks Jarrett, placing the bat to his throat and drags him off behind a wall as Karen flees. I think we just saw some foreshadowing here. Hmmmm! I'm hungry. I want an eggroll. Only thirty-seven more minutes to go and it's munch time!

Number One Contenders Match
Mexican America versus The British Invasion (Doug Williams & Magnus)

Mexican America talk and I don't understand any of it. Oh well. Here comes the British Invasion and they storm the ring and it's on. I'm not sure about any of these guys and who they are and what they can do except for Hernandez so no match recap. I'll just sit back, enjoy the match and that's the bottom line because I just said so. This is a pretty decent match. Lots of Mexi-doubleteaming. Makes me wish I knew more about these guys. Don't worry though. I will soon enough. Williams is busted open. Wicked! A knee and elbow double-team by the Brits and they get a two. Rosita is out and distracts the ref. Hernandez with the illegal elbow and he puts his partner on Williams. The referee counts the three.

Winners: Mexican America

Eric Bischoff, Gunner and Bully Ray are in the back. Eric tells them that they're his last line of defense and to not let him down. Gunner tells Bully that they need to go find the punks. Gunner leaves. Ray acts like he's all for it, but backs off and decides to stay in the office. No eggrolls here. Looks like I'll have to settle for fixing a hamburger or something. Oh well. That'll work. I like this Mexican American team. Not as good as when Hernandez was teamed with Homicide, but still pretty impressive. The British Invasion are pretty awesome too. But Brutus looks smaller than I remember him. He was a lot bigger when he first debuted.

We see Brian Kendricks (Spanky). He's happy and he's the new X-Division Champion. He talks about Alex Shelley. We see Alex Shelley. They'll be wrestling for the X-Division title next week. Plus RVD versus Scott Steiner, a four-way ladder match and a Knockout's Championship Match as well. We take a look back at all the evil clown attacks that have taken place during the night

We see Gunner and he's outside calling out the clowns. He's ready to fight. We see several of the clowns come out. The have bats. He has a steel pipe. They attack and we see a "Revenge of the Doinks" clown beatdown as they take Gunner down and out. They unmask - it's AJ Styles, Christopher Daniels, Kazarian and James Storm. They leave Gunner laying and walk off. Sory about his damn luck! One of them asks about Bully Ray, but we find out he's already been taken care of. Does anyone remember a morning show called "Captain Kangaroo" that was on for almost twenty-five years back in the sixties and seventies? They had a character on that show, played by Bob Keeshan (Captain Kangaroo) called "The Town Clown". This just reminded me of that. I don't know why. Keeshan also played a character in the 50's called "Clarabelle The Clown", which was the predecessor to "Town Clown". A big part of my early childhood. I remember it well.

Impact World Heavyweight Championship Match
Mr. Kennedy (champion) versus Sting

Kennedy swats the mic away and doesn't do his usual self-introduction. Anderson appears reluctant to enter the ring. Jeremy Borasch is doing the "official" introductions. Damn, Sting looks like he's getting a fat ass. Men over fifty shouldn't wear stretchy pants. Just saying. I like the TNA World Title belt. Sure looks a lot nicer than that ugly ass spinner belt the WWE has for their title.

Kennedy with fists. Sting no-sells and looks crazy as Anderson bails. Sting with kicks and fists. Kennedy down in the corner. Sting with inverted drop and dropkick. Anderson to the floor again. Anderson with shoulder, but fails at the sunset flip. Sting with more chops and Anderson rolls away. Stinger-splash by Sting and Anderson nails him with a dropkick on the second attempt. Anderson to the leg as he drops elbows and works over the leg. Knees by Anderson, followed by some fists. Anderson goes for the scorpion and locks it in. "Shades of Bret Hart!". Sting struggles and makes it to the ropes. Anderson breaks the hold. Anderson back to the leg and slams down the knees of Sting. It's all Ken Anderson. Anderson covers for a two. Anderson locks in a half-crab. Sting rolls out and kicks away. Sting with the fists and chops. A clothesline and it's vintage Sting. A sloppy hotshot by Sting and he gets a two.

Anderson hits a knee to the gut. Sting shoves Anderson and the ref gets knocked to the floor. Sting locks in the Scorpion and Anderson taps The ref isn't there. Here comes Bully Ray and he attacks Sting. Ray has a chain and he's talking trash, taking his time ready to attack Sting. Anderson holds Sting. Ray has the chain. The lights go out and we have a clown in the ring. Another blackout and Anderson is alone in the ring. Sting hits the Scorpion Deathdrop on Anderson. The ref is in and counts to three. We have a new World Champion.

Winner and NEW TNA Impact Wrestling World Champion: STING

The clown who saved Sting from Bully Ray is on the ramp and he unmasks. It's Kurt Angle. Angle smiles as the show goes off the air. And you know what? With the exception of the main event, which was sloppy and a major blah of a match in my opinion, this was not a bad show at all. It wasn't as good as last week (not even close) but when it comes to in-ring action, TNA seems to be trying to do something here. I personally prefer a mixture of characters AND wrestling and WWE definitely has better characters (and a much better production value for their shows), but Impact (TNA) is trying and they're getting there. Good for them.

And I guess that's it for me. Time to watch "Buffy The Vampire Slayer" and go fix a hamburger. It's dinner time. Questions and comments can be sent to Doug28352@yahoo.com. Also, check out my fic site at www.tsfiction.blogspot.com. And I'll see you again real soon, but for now, "Dat is all de' people need to know!". I'm Doug. I'm down and I'm gone. Ubuntu!

Self Analysis: Twenty Minutes Of Boredom

Hobbes sat staring at his computer screen.

"Damn it! I have the desire to write, but I'm just not coming up with anything."

"It sucks, doesn't it?", a voice came from behind him.

Hobbes turned around and standing there is WWE Superstar, The Miz.

"Hey Miz, what are you doing here?", Hobbes asked.

"Well, I'm not here actually", Miz replied. "I'm just a figment of your slightly deranged imagination."

"Lucky me", Hobbes replied. "So why you?"

"Because you only write about three things", Miz replied. "Wrestling, comic book heroes and vampires!"

"That's not true", Hobbes shot back. "I write fairy tales too."

"Let's leave your sex life out of it", Miz smirked. "You're a semi-talented writer who relies far too often on certain crutches. You're having a block right now so you fall back on the same old things."

"That doesn't explain why you're here, Miz?", Hobbes said.

"Well, I heard that you fixed Tater Tot Casserole", Miz replied. "And being the most must-see performer in WWE history makes a guy hungry."

"So you're hungry? That's why you're here?", Hobbes asked.

"And also, because I'm the Miz... and I'm AWESOME!", Miz smirked.

"Get the heck over it", Hobbes shot back. "But you're right. I do need to get my groove back and expand a bit. After all, not everyone likes wrestling or super heroes."

"And don't forget those creepy vampires!", Miz remarked. "I still remember the last time I appeared in one of your fics. You had that vampire try to attack me."

"Because you were being annoying", Hobbes shot back. "Like now!"

"He kept trying to give me a hickey", Miz rambled on. "And that just wasn't cool!"

"So what's your point, Miz? Why are you here?", Hobbes asked.

"Well, it was either me or Hogan", Miz answered. "And I know you've been stressing a lot as of late. Hogan is only good at creating stress. Not helping to relieve it."

"I heard that, brutha", Hulk Hogan shouted in from off-story.

"Oh geez", Hobbes sighed. "Why did you have to bring his name up? He's like Beetlejuice. Say his name and he never goes away!"

"Whatcha gonna do when the power of Hulkamania runs wild on you!", Hogan shouted from off-story.

"See what I mean?", Hobbes told The Miz.

"I'll go get rid of Hogan", Miz said. "I need to go get ready for RAW tonight anyhow. But you need to lighten up, my friend or you're going to crack up and explode."

"I'm fine", Hobbes sighed.

"No, you're not", Miz said. "Your last two posts have been a survey and a recap of TNA. Nobody in their right mind watches TNA Impact."

"It's called Impact Wrestling now", Hobbes reminded the Miz.

"It's called sucks ass", Miz rebutted. "All those great wrestlers and great talent at TNA, but they still put Hogan and Bischoff and Kennedy in the spotlight."

"Kind of like WWE does with Orton and Cena, right?", Hobbes added.

"Well, I've got to go", Miz said. "And I'll take Hogan with me. Maybe he'll give me Brooke's phone number."

"Give him a dollar and he'll do it", Hobbes smiled.

"She's not worth that much", Miz shrugged. "I'm out of here for now so let me do my catch-phrase!"

"Go ahead", Hobbes said.

"I'm the Miz.. and I'm AWESOME!", Miz shouted. "I'll be back later after RAW for a bowl of that Tater Tot Casserole."

"I'll save you a bowl", Hobbes replied.

And with that, The Miz and Hulk Hogan were gone.

"So I'm still here writing a story and I'm kind of rambling" Hobbes thought to himself. "Too bad I can't finish those fics I've started?"

"You'll finish them in your own time", a voice rang out.

"Here we go again", Hobbes sighed as he turned around. "Look everyone. It's Mr. Rogers!"

"Hi neighbor. How are you", Mr. Rogers smiled.

"Please don't smile. You creep me out", Hobbes replied. "So why are you here?"

"It's a beautiful day in the neighborhood and I wanted to spend it with my good friend... with you!"

"You're dead!", Hobbes said.'

"But this is your story and your imagination. It's just like the Land of Make-Believe.", Mr. Rogers replied.

"You're dead!", Hobbes repeated.

"As long as my memory is in your heart, I can never truly die", Mr. Rogers answered.

"I need to start drinking again", Hobbes replied. "Kill those brain cells and destroy those memories."

"Now why would you want to do that, neighbor?", Mr. Rogers asked as he smiled at Hobbes.

"I warned you about the smiling", Hobbes shuddered. "Creepy!"

"Do you want to talk about it?", Mr. Rogers asked.

"Talk about what?", Hobbes said.

"You're under a lot of stress lately. You're not working. You can't find a job. You're having medical problems. And your Mom drives you crazy!"

"Yeah, things suck a bit right now. I turn in hundreds of applications and never hear anything back except for false promises and excuses. Money is tight and I'm ready to snap sometimes."

"And don't forget that you can't be with the person you love", Mr. Rogers added.

"You're not helping, old man", Hobbes said.

"Listen to me. It's going to be okay", Mr. Rogers said. "You'll find a job eventually. And it might take some time, but one day, you and your friend will be back together."

"What about Mom driving me crazy?", Hobbes asked.

"You're on your own there", Mr. Rogers said quickly.

"So let's wrap this up, okay?", Hobbes said.

"If you insist", Mr. Rogers said. "I have to get to a block party over at Sesame Street anyways."

"Now that is creepy", Hobbes said.

"It's your fic so blame only yourself", Mr. Rogers replied. "If you weren't too cheap to spring for a real shrink instead of self-analyzing yourself with these dumb stories."

"Hey!", Hobbes shouted.

"Just stating the obvious", Mr. Rogers replied.

"Who asked you?", Hobbes said.

Mr. Rogers just glared at Hobbes.

"Okay, let's end this", Hobbes said wearily. "What do you have to say?"

"Just that you're special. Don't ever forget it!", Mr. Rogers said.

"Is that it?", Hobbes asked.

"Well, that and do you have any of that Tater Tot Casserole left?"

"I'll get you a bowl", Hobbes sighed.

"Get me two bowls", Mr. Rogers said. "I want to take some to Mr. Hooper."

"But he's dead too", Hobbes said.

"And?", Mr. Rogers replied.

"Never mind", Hobbes said. "I'll go fix your bowls right now."

THE END!!

92 Truths

NAME: Doug
BIRTHDATE: July 3
PRESENT ADDRESS: Laurinburg, NC
WHAT WAS YOUR:
1. last beverage = Diet Pepsi (I'd kill for a real one right now!!)
2. last phone call = My oldest sister, Lynn...
3. last text message = Brian (last night)
4. last song you listened to: = "Mamas Don't Let Your Babies Grow Up To Be Cowboys" - by Willie Nelson & Marty Stuart
5. last time you cried = Last Tuesday
HAVE YOU EVER?
6. dated someone twice = Yeppers
7. been cheated on = Sort of - he was married and it was with his wife - does that count?
8. kissed someone & regretted it = No regrets allowed - I just write it up to experience if it sucks and move on..
9. lost someone special = Unfortunately yeah...
10. been depressed = Far too many times..
11. been drunk and threw up = Yep, but it's been a while for that. Now I just get drunk and start talking trash (and no, I'm not bluffing... lol)
LIST THREE FAVORITE COLORS:
12. Purple
13. Black
14. Hot Pink
LAST YEAR (2010), HAVE YOU:
15. Made a new friend = Yeppers
16. Fallen out of love = Yeppers
17. Laughed until you cried = A few times
18. Met someone who changed you = I'm changing all the time and much of it is due to the great people in my life..
19. Found out who your true friends were: = So it seems
20. Found out someone was talking bad about you: I am slandered daily - but they don't matter so screw 'em...
21. Kissed anyone on your FB friend's list = Among other things, yeah!!
GENERAL:
22. How many people on your FB friends list do you know in real life = Probably 90% - from school, work, life in general and the net..
23. Do you have any pets = Not at the moment, but I'm ready for a new cat..
24. Do you want to change your name= I wish I had a different "pen name" instead of using my real one - then I could address some more controversial issues when I write without having to worry about who's reading and watching..
25. What did you do for your last birthday = Stayed home most of day and then went to friend's house to watch a movie.
26. What time did you wake up today = Originally, around 9am - back to bed at noon, back up at 3:00 and still up.
27. What were you doing at midnight last night = Coming home from Brian's after watching The Game Plan..
28. Name something you CANNOT wait for = For justice to finally prevail and for the man I love and want to spend the rest of my life with to come back home where he belongs.
29. Last time you saw your Mother: = About three minutes ago.
30. What is one thing you wish you could change about your life: My health, my employment situation and not having Cal here - that sucks!!!
31. What are you listening to right now = The TV - watching "Harry Potter and The Goblet Of Fire"
32. Have you ever talked to a person named Tom? = Yeppers
33. What's getting on your nerves right now = Being stuck here at the house with nothing to do..
34. Most visited webpage = Facebook, PWInsiderElite.com and my page at www.tsfiction.blogspot.com
35. Nickname: = Dougie-Fresh, Salty, Hobbes, Cupcake (don't ask)
36. Zodiac sign = Cancer
37. Elementry= four of 'em - Brentwood, North Ridge, Swift Creek and R. Brown McAllister
38. High School = Yeppers - went to Maxton High and Scotland
39. College = Very briefly at RCC
40. Hair color = Dark brown with a lot of gray popping up everywhere..
41. Long or short= Medium length
42. Height =6'0
43. Do you have a crush on someone? I'm in LOVE with someone - and I have some lustful crushes on a couple of people
44. What do you like about yourself? = sense of humor, fair writer and reliable
45. Piercings = Just a small hole in the left ear
46. Tattoos: = Three (and I want more)
47. Righty or lefty = Lefty
48. How many friends do you really talk to on facebook.? = I've got probably 15 or so regulars (at least every few days) - the rest not nearly enough
49. Bestfriends? = I have several amazing and wonderful best friends...
50. Live with Parents = I share a house with Mom...
51. Single Or In a relationship? = It's kind of weird - I love a guy and he loves me, but due to circumstances beyond our control, we can't be together... So how does that old song go - if you can't be with the one you love, then love the one you're with. And I do, as often as possible.
FIRSTS :
52. First surgery= Plastic surgery on my hand at age 2 1/2
53. First piercing = ear
54. First best friend: I think it was Jimmy Farrell and Dawn Lee Gibbs (I was four)
55. First sport you joined = Probably pee wee league baseball - don't remember.
56. First vacation = Going to Ohio to Grandma Vick's and trips to the beach.
57. First crush = For female, it was a girl named Laura. For male, a boy named Chris Issen.
58. First Kiss = Laura and Chris..
RIGHT NOW:
59. Eating = nothing at the moment
60. Drinking= Diet Pepsi
61. I'm about to = Probably ride down to Sh*t Creek and enjoy the quiet while I sip on an ice cold beverage.
62. Listening to = The TV
63. Waiting for = This survey to end..
YOUR FUTURE :
64. Want kids? = Sometimes I do, but I'm realistic enough to know I'm too old and too irresponsible for that (how can I be a good daddy when I don't want to grow up myself?) - that ship has long passed anyhow.
65. Get Married? = I would love to, but only if it's to the right person (and that ain't gonna happen since NC is such a bassackwards state and "my kind" isn't allowed to get married... damn it!)
66. Career?= I need a freakin' job!!!
WHICH IS BETTER
67. Lips or eyes = eyes (but lips are nice too)
68. Hugs or kisses= depends on who the hugger or kisser is... I like hugs though..
69. Shorter or taller = either is fine
70. Older or Younger = Men? Younger - I like that young stuff. It's easier to train... lol.
71. Romantic or spontaneous = How about spontaneous romance?
72. Personality or looks = personality matters more - looks are just the book cover - it's the contents and what's inside that matters most and keeps you coming back..
73. Sensitive or loud = sensitive
74. Hook-up or relationship = I want a relationship, but only with one person in particular. Yeah, I love him and he owns this heart. So until I can have him here with me for good, I'll settle for the hook-ups (just to keep everything in working order, don't ya know... lol)
75. Open or closed relationships? = When I get to have Cal back with me, it'll be closed, but until we can be together as we should be, I'm pretty much open to anything and everything within reason.
HAVE YOU EVER:
76. Kissed a stranger = Yeah
77. Done something you regret? = No regrets allowed - it's all experiences to be cherished and remembered.
78. Lost glasses/contacts= Yeppers
79. Sex on first date = What? We're supposed to date first??
80. Broke someone's heart = Unfortunately, yeah..
81. Had your own heart broken? = Yes
82. Been arrested = Yep (but I still maintain that I was framed..)
83. Turned someone down = Yeah
84. Cried when someone died= Definitely (and am still crying for some of them)
85. Fallen for a friend = yes
DO YOU BELIEVE IN:
86. Yourself = Sometimes - it's hard to keep the confidence up whenyou keep getting knocked down, but am trying to be strong..
87. Miracles = Absolutely
88. Love at first sight = Definitely - it happened the first time I saw Cal - I just didn't realize it at the time..
89. Heaven = YES
90. Santa Clause = I believe in the concept, but not an actual being..
91. God= YES
92. Angels = YES

Tossing Salt Is Impact Wrestling: July 7, 2011

Tossing Salt Is Impact!
July 7, 2011
Doug Maynard

No, you didn't read that wrong. Instead of doing the WWE shows, like RAW and Smackdown, I've decided to take the plunge and suck it up and see if I can stomach an entire episode of TNA and Impact Wrestling. I'm not a big TNA guy by any means, but I haven't really had much interest as of late in the WWE stuff, thus no recaps. But I've got the urge to write and since I know that Jerry Lynn is scheduled to be on the program tonight, maybe this will get the fire started again.

So hang on to your hats (does anyone even wear hats anymore?) and get ready for a wild ride because I'm Doug and "Tossing Salt is Impact Wrestling!". And when I finish with recapping the program, I have a theory about the WWE and CM Punk / John Cena and their upcoming match at "Money In The Bank" and how all of that is going to turn out. I want to throw that at you as well.

So that's the agenda. Let's head to Mike Tenay and Taz and the Impact Zone in Orlando, FL. And let's do this...

We open up with a recap of last week as Hulk Hogan and Immortal beat up Sting, but Kurt Angle makes the save. Bully Ray (Bubba Dudley), Gunner and Scott Steiner are in the ring. And they call out the TNA Champion, Mr. Anderson... Anderson.

And Ken Anderson still does the self-intro. Wow! Bully Ray is not impressed and he introduces himself in a sincere piece of mockery. Ray tells Anderson to keep his mouth shut or else Gunner will beat his ass. Hogan is on the way and Bully Ray is in charge. Anderson was headed down the right path when he attacked Sting. Sting is crazy as of late. Bully says that Anderson can't beat Sting and needs them. Immortal needs Anderson and the World Championship. Immortal has Anderson's back so he needs to make them all happy. Steiner talks and it's time to put up or shut up. Hogan has given Anderson chance to make decision, but Steiner is telling him that his time is up. With Immortal or against them. Gunner speaks next. Hogan laid out everything and the main event is all of Immortal versus Sting and Kurt Angle. By the end of the match, they expect an answer from Anderson or else Immortal will make sure that Anderson doesn't see the light of day on Impact ever again.

The lights are out and music hits. It's Joker Sting up in the rafters. Love that Heath Ledger face paint. Lights go out again. Kurt Angle is in ring and Angle-Slams for Gunner and Steiner. Bully Ray escapes and Kurt gets the mic. Kurt tells Anderson to make an easy decision tonight and not to make it hard on himself. Kurt heads to the back as Anderson stands in the ring watching and apparently pondering his future.

Bobby Roode and James Storm are in the back and tease a little tension, but all is good. Roode talks about needing some wins in the BFG series. Storm teams up with Matt Morgan later tonight while Roode is facing Crimson. Coming up on Sunday is TNA Destination X PPV.

We come back and Taz recaps the Bound For Glory series taking place at the house shows over the past week. Crimson leads in the points standings. We go to Christy Hemme in the ring, doing the announcing.

Bound For Glory Series Match
Crimson versus Bobby Roode

Crimson goes after the arm at the bell and takes over with a headlock. Rude with the elbow. Crimson with the shoulders in the corner. Roode takes back over and snaps the neck. Crimson drops Roode across the top rope and hits another shoulder. Power suplex by Crimson for two. Crimson locks up the neck and hits some knees and a neckbreaker for two. Roode with fists. Suplex by Crimson for another two. Elbow and kick by Roode and a leaping neckbreaker by Roode. Fist city by Roode and a spinebuster for two. Crimson with a roll-up for two. Roode with submission on arm, but Crimson gets to the ropes. Good back and forth. Crimson with a power-bomb for the pin.

Winner: Crimson

We take a look at a guy named Tony Nese. He wants to be part of the X-Division and will be here later tonight. And we see a couple of more clips that are happening back stage, I guess. Some masked psychotic dude (Abyss) hikes a guy up against the wall and we see a masked dude, that looks like the winning kid from Tough Enough, pull back the hood and he's walking too. (It's Spanky).I guess we're getting a match coming up? Who know? After so many years of watching WWE, where everything has a purpose, this TNA stuff is killing me. Only an hour and thirty-five minutes to go. Oh vey!

Jack Evans speaks and he wants a contract with TNA. He says he can stand out and bring it to the ring. He's a step above and will be a part of Impact Wrestling.

Brian Kendricks is in the ring and he has Abyss's mask. That's who that guy was earlier. He wants to share his thoughts and calls out Abyss to the ring to give him his mask back. Here comes Abyss. Spanky is reciting words of Buddha and some bad poetry. He wants Abyss to help the X-Division, but it's too much ego on Abyss's part. He's looking at intimidation at Destination X. Spanky knows about the pain that Abyss hides behind the mask. Spanky would love to help Abyss. Spanky gives Abyss the mask back. They stand face to chest. Abyss nails Spanky and it's beatdown time. Abyss throws Spanky around outside the ring and Spanky hurts his leg. Back in the ring and Spanky fights back. Abyss does some one-man "shades of One Man Gang" clubbering and Spanky gets the "Shock Treatment". That's an excellent movie, by the way. It's the sequal / equal to the Rocky Horror Picture Show and it totally rocks. Check it out if you can. Black Hole Slam by Abyss and he leaves Spanky laid out.

Jesse Sorenson talks next (who are these people?) and he is here to prove while he should be a TNA X-Division wrestler. Still to come: Immortal versus Kurt Angle and Sting. The Ultimate X and Destination X (the return of the six-sided ring) is this Sunday.

X-Division Match
Jack Evans versus Jesse Sorenson versus Tony Nese

A three man lock up and Evans tries for a quick pin. Sorenson looks good, but gets rolled up by Nese. Great dropkick by Nese and Evans breaks it up before we get a pin. Lots of great moves by Jack Evans, but Nese nearly takes his head off with a clothesline. Sorenson covers Nese for a pin attempt. Sorenson flies and looks great. Evans flies to the floor too and nails everyone. Evans gets a two on Nese. Evans misses a springboard. Nese gets a two. Sorenson with a big twist neckbreaker. Nese tries for suplex, but Sorenson tosses him away. Everyone is down. Evans covers Nese for two. Sorenson puts Evans in the corner and gets sent to the floor. Kick by Nese and Evans is up with a quadruple moonsault for the pin.

Winner: Jack Evans

I don't know these kids from anyone, but damn it, that was a helluva good match. Later tonight, it's RVD vs AJ Styles vs Christopher Daniels vs Jerry Lynn. That last match just took my breath away. Only thing that would have been better (in my opinion) is Ethan Storm vs Chris Steele vs BD Productions. Don't know who these men are? Look 'em up! And put me at ringside. And there you go. Executioners of Excellence. 'Nuff said. Did I mention that the last match was damn good? Well, I just did.

We see The British Invasion in the back. They're having problems with the Mexicans. A video clip says that Shannon Moore and Robbie E will make history and kick ass at the X-Division showcase at Destination X. Amazing Red says he's going to show everyone. Alex Shelley brags a bit too.

We see Velvet Sky and she's tired of being a target by the other Knockouts!. She's facing ODB and Jackie in a handicap match and if she pins them, they're gone from Impact Wrestling. She says she'll get it done and calls them idiots. The Knockouts handicap match is coming up next.

Sting is singing in the dressing room. Kurt Angle comes in. Sting is acting nuts and singing "Eye of The Tiger". Sting is doing great and says that he'll get the world title back next week. Kurt reminds them of their match tonight. Kurt tells Sting that he's out of his mind. Sting promises Kurt that he can trust him and he starts singing again. It's showtime, folks!! He hasn't snapped. He just feels good.

Knockouts Handicap Match
Velvet Sky versus ODB & Jackie

ODB is a nasty biatch! Velvet attacks and nails Jackie with a chair from behind. Velvet with shoulders on ODB and it's chop-city. Kicks to the booty and more "shades of Ric Flair" chops. Splash and Velvet is just dominating the match. A big splash in the corner. Jackie is in and catches Velvet from behind. Jackie just tosses Velvet around by the hair. Fists by Jackie. Velvet makes the comeback and gets a two before ODB breaks it up. ODB with choke, but misses a splash. Kicks by Velvet and some more chops. Jackie is back on the attack with fists and kicks. ODB is in and takes Velvet on a tour of the turnbuckles. Jackie tags in and Velvet comes back with kicks and clotheslines. Everyone is down. Velvet with forearm shots to everyone. ODB gets a chair. Velvet moves and ODB nails Jackie. Velvet sends ODB to the floor and plants Jackie with a DDT for the pin.

Winner: Velvet Sky

That was so much better than any WWE Diva match. I love watching Jackie back in the ring. And ODB? Well, she kind of scares me? Them big old things on her chest? They sure as hell ain't natural! Disgusting!!!! We see Devon is in the back and he talks to the Pope. Pope gives Devon a pair of shades. Devon tells Pope they ain't friends and if Devon tries to double-cross him, he'll be sorry. The Four-Way X-Division Dream match is next. We get some video promo time from AJ Styles and Christopher Daniels and they talk about their dedication, their love of wrestling, and why and how they are the men they are. "The Fallen Angel" is an amazing dude!

X-Division Dream Match
AJ Styles versus RVD versus "The Fallen Angel" Christopher Daniels versus Jerry Lynn

I'm not even going to try and recap this match. I'm just gonna sit back and watch it and enjoy it. Just picture lots of flying, lots of high impact moves, lots of back and forth and lots of great action. 'Nuff said!!!

Winner: RVD

I loved this. Looked like all four men were just having fun and putting on a clinic. Hey Vince, I hope you're taking notes. These are some talented dudes. I want to see more of this. And congrats to all four guys for an excellent match and a job well done.

It's Eric Young. He's looking scruffy and he's the TV Champion.

Bound For Glory Series Match
Matt Morgan & James Storm versus Brother Devon & The Pope

Devon and Pope are jawing at the start. Devon starts off with Storm. Devon with a shoulder. Storm with a kick for two. Storm to the arm, but Devon reverses. Morgan in and Devon with the fists. Elbow by Matt and a slam. Legdrop for two. Storm tags in and throws some punches. Devon with a back elbow and a big headbutt for two. Pope tags in and he throws some kicks. Storm with a hiptoss and Devon back in. Clothesline by Storm and Morgan tags in. Matt with the big elbows in the corner. A splash and a side-slam for two. Storm tags in and throws some punches. Devon fights back with a shoulder and a tag to The Pope. Pope with flying forearm and a dropkick for Morgan. Pope pounds away at Storm in the corner. Storm with a back-stabber for two. Devon in and Morgan in too. Morgan sends Devon to the floor. Pope and Storm bump heads. Pope gets a title belt from ringside and nails Storm with the belt. Pope tags in Devon and throws Devon on top of Storm. Devon gets the pin.

Winners: The Pope and Devon

Still to come: It's Immortal versus Sting and Kurt. We see Mr. Anderson in the back and he's talking and walking. He doesn't like ultimatiums. But if they want answers tonight, he'll give it to them and they might not approve, but oh well...

We see Jeff Jarrett and Karen Jarrett and they're in Mexico. And they'll be back next week on TNA and they're going to throw a fiesta to celebrate Jeff's birthday. And Karen's got something special for everyone. We see Taz and Mike Tenay. They talk about Jeff returning next week and then move on to run down the matches for Sunday night's TNA Destination X pay per view. These look like they're going to be some great matches. We see Sting back in the dressing room and he's going crazy while getting roughed up by Hulk Hogan, who finally nails him with the bat. Hogan tells Sting that he told him to never embarrass him again, brutha!!

Immortal (Scott Steiner, Gunner, Bully Ray & Abyss) versus Kurt Angle & Sting

Hogan laid out Sting in the back so it looks like Kurt will be doing this alone. Kurt still looks confident even though it's four on one. Sting's music plays, but there is no Sting. Kurt is all alone. Steiner attacks Kurt and does the beatdown in the corner. Kurt fights back with suplexes. Bully Ray tags in and rips Kurt's shirt off. Neckbreaker by Ray for two. Kurt with a suplex and Ray tags in Gunner. Backdrop by Kurt and a snap-suplex for two. Abyss tags in. Kurt with fists. Abyss goes for slam, but Kurt locks in an ankle-lock. Ray breaks it up. Abyss with fists as he pounds away at Kurt. Steiner in and he takes control. Suplex by Scotty for two. Gunner in with a choke and a two. Ray gets in a boot-shot and Abyss tags in and slams Kurt. Ray tags in and gets the chain. Mr. Anderson is coming out. He distracts Ray and Kurt nails a suplex. Anderson in the corner and tags in. He cleans house on Immortal and gives Kurt a mic-check too. He tags out to Kurt and throws Kurt over to Immortal. Immortal is just watching and don't know what's going on.

Winners: Immortal

Mr. Anderson is in the ring and he faces down Immortal before jumping into the arms of Abyss. Mr. Anderson is now with Immortal. Hogan comes out on the ramp to applaud Anderson's decision as the members of Immortal raise Anderson on their shoulders and Mr. Anderson raises the TNA World Championship belt into the air. Hogan claps in approval as the show comes to an end.

And well, I'm not sure exactly what to say now. The show gets mixed reviews from me. The in-ring action is great. The match between the three unknowns was refreshing and entertaining. And the four-way match with RVD, Lynn, Styles and Daniels was a great change of pace from the usual crapola. And I loved to see Jackie back in the ring during the Knockouts match. The ladies at TNA are given the chance to really show what they can do and this match, despite the presence of ODB, who admittingly creeps me out, was a hundred times better than any recent Diva's match in the WWE. And the new "Joker-Faced" Sting was actually fun to watch. It's the most entertaining Sting has been to me in probably fifteen years.

On the downside, the backstage promos sucked and kind of killed the momentum and flow of the show... at least to me. And Tenay and Taz are okay as announcers, but as often as not, they distract from the in-ring action. And I definitely could have gone without seeing Hogan. But where was Flair? Probably off running up a bar tab somewhere. I hate to admit it, but I actually enjoyed the majority of the show tonight. Probably not enough to watch TNA every week. Thursday nights are not good for me. But the action tonight was good and on a scale of 1 - 10, I'd give the guys and girls at Impact Wrestling a solid "7". Good job people.

And now, let's briefly talk about the WWE and the CM Punk / John Cena title match for the WWE Championship at the "Money In The Bank" pay per view. If Punk wins. he says he's taking the WWE Title with him when he leaves the WWE the next day, since his contract ends that night. Vince McMahon has told John Cena that if Punk leaves with the title, then Cena is, and I quote "FIRED!". Let's speculate on what's going to go down at the pay per view.

I think that Punk and Cena will have one helluva great match for the WWE Title. And in the end, when that final bell rings,. we will see CM Punk crowned as the new WWE Champion. So Punk wins and has the title and it's his last night with the company. Cena didn't get the job done so he's fired. End of story, right? Nope. At any other show, it would be. But this is the "Money In The Bank" pay per view. And the winners of the MITB matches get contracts for either World or WWE title matches whenever they desire. Can you see where I'm going with this?

Punk beats Cena. This gives Cena a chance to take some time off to heal from various injuries and also gives him a way back in to feud with Vince McMahon (if they choose this route) because Vince can "fire" Cena for losing the title to Punk, but since Vince's exact words were that if Punk "leaves the company with the title",he'd "fire" Cena, that leaves Cena a loop-hole to return.

As for Punk, he wins the WWE Championship from Cena at the show. He talks a lot of crap and gets on the mic to cut an awesome promo about what he's going to do with the WWE Championship. And then it happens.The winner of the RAW "MITB" match comes out. He has the briefcase. He has the contract. And he's cashing it in right now. Punk complains, but it doesn't do any good. We've got another WWE Championship match and this time, Punk ends up on the losing end as we end up with a brand-spanking new WWE Champion. I'm not sure who it will be exactly. The best options is probably Alberto Del Rio. After all, it's his destiny (as he reminds us each and every week). But regardless, I've got a strong feeling that as I've laid it out here is how it will play out a week from Sunday at the WWE PPV.

And look how it works out. Punk goes out on top which gives him an argument to immediately go to the top when he makes his eventual return. Cena gets time off to heal injuries that need to mend and when he comes back, he can feud with Vince (thus recreating the magic of the Vince -Austin wars - or at least attempting too). And we get a fresh face at the top who can claim he "saved the WWE". It's all win-win for the WWE by going this way. And that's how I think it's all going to eventually come down on next Sunday night.

And on that note, I'm out of here. I hope you enjoyed the recap. And let me know what you think of my theory for the Money In The Bank WWE title match ending? AmI crazy? Probably, but I still think I know of what I speak. Comments and questions can be sent to Doug28352@yahoo.com. And if you like fics and short-stories, about all sorts of things, check out my site at www.tsfiction.blogspot.com.

I'm Doug and I'll catch you on the flipside. Ubuntu!