Tossing Salt - Worldwide News
Wednesday, September 12, 2007
Doug Maynard
I'm Doug and I'm back. And this is "Tossing Salt - Worldwide News" - professional wrestling's most eclectic column. Let's get random with a few thoughts on a few things, OK? All righty then!
And remember, this is all just my thoughts and opinions unless otherwise noted. You've been warned.
Did I Call It Or What?
For the last several "TS" columns - my main two picks for the McMahon bastard child was either Stevie Richards (still my favorite choice - until Vince publicly trashed him on Monday night) or else "The Little Bastard", Hornswaggle. Well, it was the little guy - he's a McMahon. I called it! I told you!
Remember that!
King Booker & Sharmell will eventually be back with the WWE - after the sixty day suspension and a "cooling off" period. Booker is PO'ed and I can't blame him - but a cool million bucks a year (both their salaries, PPV & house show bonuses, merchandising) is too hard to turn down while it's still available. Booker & Sharmell don't need the money (two wrestling schools and a hip hop shop that's doing very well) but they'd be crazy to walk away from the WWE at this time and point of their careers. The gimmick is hot - they're hot - embrace it and enjoy it for a couple of more years.
Now Jamie Noble has gone from battling with a midget over the Cruiserweight Championship to fighting one of the McMahon's over that same title. Some careers might end up getting elevated from this whole "bastard son" storyline after all - and Noble is a good place to start. I swear, looking at him and his style of performing, he reminds me so much of a younger Chris Benoit with a little Eddie Guerrero thrown in for good measure.
Ric Flair just wants respect and one final strong push by the WWE before he calls it a career. I agree - anyone who has done as much for this business as "Naitch" has deserves at least that much. I'd turn Ric heel and let him establish a group of wrestlers to act as his "protection" while he reestablishes his rep as the "dirtiest player in the game" and lies, cheats and steals his way to the World Championship. With a "protected" Flair, he's much more credible as the champ and can help give the rub to and build stars on Smackdown - leading to a good reign (four - five months) and a chance to go out on top and then make that transition to a managerial role.
And for those that say Ric is too old to be champ, he's younger than a recent ECW Champ - Vince and he's sure as hell a better champ than Great Khali (or Batista for that matter). At least Ric knows how to safely apply and hit his finisher move.
As for Ric's "group of thugs", looking at the current Smackdown roster, just at random, I'd move Stevie over from ECW (I'm going to get him in the spotlight somehow), bring back Arn Anderson for a short run as Ric's "manager", and have Batista join Ric (based on loyalty & friendship - setting up a feud later on.) And maybe Chavito once he gets back from his "vacation" - he deserves a role in a major storyline and I think a chance to work with Ric & Batista would be a group way to elevate him up the ladder a bit.
TNA - well, it now stands for "Total NonStop Angle" and that's not a good thing. Kurt is a remarkable athlete, but he's not a "star" player - he works better as part of a group with other stars that can complement his abilities and work with him to hide his flaws. Kurt reminds me of Matt LeBlanc (Joey from Friends) - as part of the big group enviroment, he was a success - "Friends" was one of the best shows on TV for many, many years. Kurt, as part of the WWE, was a big success - the WWE was going through a hot streak and much of it was revolving around Kurt Angle. Then LeBlanc went to do the series "Joey" - and even though it had some charm and appeal, it tanked and quickly faded away to TV limbo. Kurt left WWE and went to TNA, and much like LeBlanc without his "Friends", Kurt is now without Austin, McMahon, HHH, Cena, etc to work off of - and he's in freefall and going down fast. Kurt is a great wrestler,but he's not a Ric Flair or HBK or even Steve Austin - he's not someone to base the entire show around - he's best in small doses and the over-exposure recently in TNA has exposed the flaws, the weak points, etc. TNA is killing their golden goose way too quickly and the entire product is suffering as a result.
Wrestling three matches on one PPV? That's a little too much of anyone. Seriously!
Sandman got canned by the WWE yesterday. It figures - the one guy that everyone has been expecting to see fired for the past year - with the strong reputation as a hell-raiser and he's been on extra-good behavior for his entire WWE stint. He DIDN'T get busted in any kind of Wellness scandal - and he gets the pink slip anyhow. That sucks!
But Miz still has a job! And three ladies! And people ask what's wrong with WWE these days...lol.
I've heard repeatedly that Sid Vicious wants one last WWE run. And he's supposedly in great physical condition and looks like a monster. I've never been a big fan of Sid's, but I'd like to see Sid - Taker one more time. Or maybe Sid - Batista... just to see who flubs more moves in the first 30 seconds of the match. Me thinks Sid is best off where he's at, and that's not on WWE TV.
One guy I'd like to see on WWE TV again, even if just for a short time, is Scott Hall. He's wrestling again regularly down in Puerto Rico (WWC) and from all reports, doing quite well. I've heard that Kevin Nash is pushing to have Hall & X-Pac both come back to TNA and wrestle there - but TNA wouldn't know what to do with two talented guys with charisma who can actually wrestle. They'd probably have Scott jobbing to Pacman Jones - one of their "Champions" who can't even legally wrestle. I'd rather see Scott (and Kev & even Waltman) do one last run in WWE - mostly with Nash in a commentary / managerial role and let Hall / Pac do the wrestling. It'd be a nice little moment of nostalgia to get us past all the recent B.S. happenings.
And Vince needs to hire Jerry Lynn for the ECW Brand - let him teach and work the younger guys - and have a good six-month feud with CM Punk. They can trade the gold back and forth, add some prestige to the title that it currently lacks and the ratings would go up. I know I'd start watching more often.
Enough ramblings. Let's move on.
T.S.W.W.N. Poll Question:
Since I've been talking a lot about Ric Flair and his "last run", who would you like to see Ric wrestle in his final match as a full-time active wrestler, preferably at Wrestlemania 24. I have my thoughts and ideas on the matter, but I'll save that for later. I want to know who YOU would book at Ric's final wrestling opponent and why. Talk at me, people. Send your responses to Doug28352@yahoo.com.
Cheap Plug:
He's the grand-wizard of hip hop - he's the magical master of tight beats and catchy lyrics - and he's just that damn good - it's Soce the Elemental Wizard - go check him out at www.myspace.com/soce or www.greathiphop.com. You'll be glad you did!
WWE Unforgiven PPV Predictions:
Despite the big lack of hype, WWE has a PPV coming up on Sunday. So that means prediction time. So here you go, from the top...
CM Punk defeats Elijah Burke to retain the ECW Championship, HHH "hammers" Carlito, Duece & Domino manage to cash in on the conflicting signals between Matt Hardy & MVP and regain the WWE Tag Team Titles. Teddy Long will come out and order an inpromptu U.S. title match between MVP and Matt - and Matt will walk out as the U.S. Champ. Cade & Murdoch retain the World Tag Team Titles by getting themselves disqualified in their defense against The Hooligans. Spanky & London win the match, but not the gold. Beth Phoenix kills Candice Michelle to capture the Women's Championship. Pure chaos in the Triple Threat Match as the two goofs stink up the ring and even the rusty Rey can't save the match - Khali retains. "The Legend Killer" kills another legend in John Cena as he captures the WWE Championship and walks out with the gold. Mark Henry will have his ass handed to him by the returning Undertaker, but will walk away with the win (via DQ) after 'Taker goes too far - and the feud gets to continue for three more months. And the match hasn't been added yet (as of the time I'm writing this) but Jamie Noble will manage to get the Cruiserweight Championship away from the grubby little hands of Hornswaggle McMahon and become the new CW Champ. Hornswaggle won't care because he's a "Genetic Jackhammer" Mini-Me McMahon now and will end up moving to RAW to be near "dear old Dad!"
And now, for the big question... Thanks to Harold Schwan for putting this out in the groups. I'm slow in responding, but I am responding. And here you go...
Am I Wrestling Fan?
You know, just a year ago, this was a no-brainer of a question. As most people who know me even slightly well can tell you, professional wrestling has long been one of the major obsessions in my life. The other obsession, for those keeping track at home, is hot guys, but that's not important right now.
Right now, it's about wrestling - the "King of Sports" - the greatest form of family entertainment available to man. No doubt, at one time, the answer would have been "Yes, yes, a thousand times yes!" with no hesitation or doubt.
And then, something changed.
Was it me? Was it a particular storyline or character? Was it an over-dose of Vince McMahon? Was it just being tired of seeing no-talent boobs and non-deserving stiffs get the big pushes in TNA while the wrestlers who entertain me, who have the talent to perform in the ring and tell a story, plus talk as well, get regulated to the role of curtain-jerkers and jobbers, if even used at all. And yes, I will be naming names in just a bit. But what was it? Maybe it was the Benoit tragedy? Maybe it was the death of a man I respected and cared for and considered a friend. Maybe it's the ever-increasing scandals and bad press that wrestling keeps getting, time and time again. Maybe it's all of this. All I know is that things have changed. I've changed. And my views and thoughts on what once was the biggest thing in my life.... that changed too.
Think about it. For over five years, I've written a wrestling column for some of the best websites on the internet, starting off at WrestlingInformer.net and then moving to the WrestlingHeadquarters.com before settlng in at Wrestle-Zone.Co.UK - which incidentially has a new name - it's bigger and better than ever - it's www.TotalWrestlingNews.com. Yeah, we're going big time now. I also did a stint as the WWE Raw Recapper at www.LordsofPain.net.
Wrestling has been very good to me and it's given me the chance, time and time again, to be creative and grow, both as a writer and a person.
And even before the various stints on the websites, I was a prominent member of that elite little world of Yahoo groups - the wrestling division. Up to sixteen different wrestling groups at one time, and I was a prominent poster, always on top of things with the latest news items or a comment on this or that. It was a fun life, often time consuming, but great exposure to information and some fantastic people, who I am glad to count now as some of my closest and dearest friends.
But now, the columns are forced and seem to be more incoherent rambings than having any kind of focus. I rarely even go to the Yahoo groups anymore and when I do check in, I just glance through or skim the posts - and rarely care to comment. The long love affair seems to be over. I hardly even watch WWE anymore. Watching TNA has never been much of an option since the TV time for Impact doesn't work well with my ever-changing work schedule. But truthfully, based on the recaps and other reviews of TNA and their product, plus given the way they've treated several of their performers (Jerry Lynn for example), I'm not too keen on watching Total Nonstop Angle anyhow.
I still look forward to reading the RAW recaps on Tuesday morning. I still check out all the wrestling websites for news and information on my favorite performers. If I know that Stevie Richards (for example) is going to be on ECW or that Ric Flair (wooooooooo!) is going to be on Smackdown, I'll try to check in or at least keep an eye to as what is going on.
But the over-all negative press, the nasty little secrets that have spilled out over the past three months about the spectacle that is wrestling, they've taken their toll as well. I look at Chris Benoit, long one of my favorite performers, both in and out of the ring, and hear that he was additcted to steroids. He was delusional and had brain damage consistent with that of an 85 year old man. And I get sad and wonder why?
I see twelve wrestlers suspended by the WWE for purchasing Wellness banned items from the internet and I get sad and wonder why.
I realize that Ric Flair and Booker T, two of the best performers of all time (IMO), might be gone forever from my TV set - Booker due to retirement after being busted in the Wellness scandal and Ric due to frustration with the WWE and their lack of any kind of support or push for arguably the greatest all-around wrestler of the past thirty years.
And I get sad and wonder why.
Nothing makes sense anymore. Wrestling is supposed to be an escape from reality - a chance to get away from the problems of life for a little while. It's a soap opera for guys.
But lately, it's all far too real - you have good guys murdering their wife and kid - you have drug addicts and abusers making headlines - you have Congress investigating the WWE and summoning Vince & Co. to the Hill for hearings which are all for show and won't change anything in the long run. It's too much to deal with.
And so I've backed away and taken a reprieve, as have, I noticed many others. But the question was, "Am I a wrestling fan?".
I think back and remember my first encounter with a wrestler, up close and personal, the legendary Brute Bernard - and how he scared the mess out of me as a smal child and made me cry. Then broke character and apologized later in the parking lot.
I think about the years of watching Bob Caudle and David Crockett every Saturday night at 11:30pm on Mid-Atlantic Championship Wrestling - and being amazed at teh talents of such people as Blackjack Mulligan, Masked Superstar, Rick Steamboat, Jay Youngblood, Roddy Piper, a very young Ric Flair, Wahoo McDaniel, Jimmy Valiant, Ivan Koloff, Johnny Weaver, etc.
And then I discovered cable TV and found Georgia Championship Wrestling with Gordon Solie, Ole Anderson, Mr. Wrestling II, Tommy Rich, The Road Warriors, Don Muraco and so many others.
And from there, it was glimpses of World Class and the AWA - it was buying the so-called "Apter Mags" every month, it was pictures and posters of wrestlers of all shapes or sizes all over my walls. It didn't matter who it was - they were wrestlers - and that was what mattered. My sisters had their rock stars & my brothers had their posters of motorcyles and sleazy hot babes - I was all about the wrestling.
Over the years, I met several of my TV heroes, even established some good friendships and saw a young local lad, someone who is like a brother to me, move on and become one of the top names in the NC Indy Scene and Puerto Rico - that's Mike Youngblood, by the way. He's a rotten roommate, but a fantastic athlete and wrestling superstar. I was, to put it bluntly, hooked - other people had drugs or alcohol - wrestling was my fix - my addiction.
Then came the internet and a new world opened up for me. If I was hooked before, I was a full fledged junkie now and it was all about the Monday Night Wars, WCW versus WWE, the backstage stuff, the "insider dirt".... and I'd never been happier.
And that brings me to now?
Do I still have a strong passion for professional wrestling? Yes.
Do I still care about my friends and associates in the business? Yes.
Do I still appreciate a good match with two (or four if it's a tag match) telling a story and making sense? Yes.
Do I appreciate the wear and tear these men and women put on themselves for the sake of our amusement? Again, it's yes.
So it comes down to this for me. The fire has dimmed - the passion is not what it once was for the "King of Sports" in my eyes. But I'm only one good storyline or one new superstar to raise the standards a bit and I know I'll be right back into the fire. Give Flair one last run with the gold - I'll watch.
Quit pushing the muscle-bound goofs like Snitsky, Chris Masters, Batista, etc and give TV time to the guys who can actually wrestle and perform (Jamie Noble, Matt Hardy, Stevie Richards, Shannon Moore) and I'll be right there. Let the guys be themselves in characters and promos - it worked for a hundred years and is more natural and real - quit the over-scripting of everything and I'll watch. Bring back Ivory or Juvi and I'll definitely watch. Less of the non wrestlers (McMahons), washed-up wrestlers (Kurt Angle), or huge wastes of time and money (Diva Search) and I'll watch again. Take a back to the basics approach where it's more about the wrestling and not about the stupidity, the politics, the realities of real life and becomes fun again - and I'll definitely watch.
Am I a wrestling fan? Guess what? There is something about wrestling that is more addictive than crack, sex or jelly beans. It's the reason Ric Flair won't retire - and Terry Funk retired at least 40 times, only to keep coming back. Heck, even Bret Hart & Bruno came back. It's a thrill - a rush that can't be duplicated anywhere else.
So even with the scandals, the hirings and firings, the bad storylines, the Congressional Hearings, the drug abuse, the tragic unnecessary deaths, I'm still going to keep watching. Maybe not with the same enthusiasm and fire that I once had, but hell, even the best of marriages loses some passion after a few years and I've been attached in some manner to the world's oldest profession for close to forty years now - as a fan, a critic, an "internet wrestling journalist" (odes to Bobby Heenan for that label.), and now with WrestleKings 3 Productions, a agent of sorts helping with the creative aspects of their upcoming show in Mooresville, NC on November 10, 2007. Be there!!.
Through better and through worse - in sickness and in health - through good times and through bad - till death us do part. Yeah, it's a marriage of sorts (probably the closest I'll ever come to being married in this lifetime - support gay marriage - you can't legislate love - call your Congressman) - and it's always been there for me. And I'll always be there for wrestling.
Am I a wrestling fan? It's obvious. The question is, are you?
Think about it.
Visit me at MySpace - it's www.myspace.com/salt_palace. Add me as a friend and your life will be complete. Join the ranks of the "Tossing Salt Fan Nation!" You know you want to.
And dat' is all de' people need to know.
I'm Doug. See ya!
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