Tossing Salt - Worldwide News
Let The Bodies Hit The Floor Series - Part 2
September 30, 2011
Doug Maynard
And here we are, back again. It's Part 2 of my series of columns, trimming up the roster in the WWE. So what I'm going to do is go over the entire WWE roster, from RAW and from Smackdown, and simply give my opinion, if I was in charge, who I would fire and who I would keep around and what exactly I would do with each character, if they're safe and don't get pink-slipped, to make them be more productive and helpful to attract fans and increase the marketability of the WWE to the masses.
I'll look at the second part of the RAW roster in this column and then tomorrow, I'll begin to tackle the stars of Smackdown. And in the final and fifth column of this series, I'll name some names that I would try, again if I was in charge and had the option, to bring in to fill the voids my mass firings would create and give the WWE a whole new direction and freshness.
Sounds easy enough, doesn't it?
Yesterday, I took a look at three "Alumni" members of the WWE roster, who were recently "fired", but we all know better, as well as the first twenty names of WWE RAW as listed on WWE.com. And here's what we came up with.
Safe on RAW and sticking around for the forseeable future are the following: The Miz, R-Truth. Alberto Del Rio, Beth Phoenix, CM Punk, Drew McIntyre, Dolph Ziggler, Evan Bourne, Eve, Goldust, Jack Swagger, Jim Ross and John Cena.
And getting the proverbial boot in the butt out the door are these folks: Kevin Nash, Alex Riley, The Big Show, Brie Bella, Curt Hawkins, David Otunga, Gail Kim, Jerry Lawler, John Laurinaitis and John Morrison.
And now, let's move on and finish up with the Rawbies. Let the massacre continue
.
Tossing Salt - Worldwide News: Let The Bodies Hit The Floor (Part 2 of 5) - WWE RAW
JTG: Is he even still around? Ever since Cryme Tyme broke up and Shad left the WWE to go to Hollywood, JTG has just been drifting around with no career direction. Well, I'm here to give him a career direction - out the door. Of the two members of Cryme Tyme, Shad had the bigger upside. JTG was along for the ride. The ride is over. He goes.
Justin Roberts: He's a ring announcer and a damn good one at that. He's safe.
Kelly Kelly: I hate to see her come up on my TV screen on Monday's and I think she's a female version of John Cena, but with far less talent. He has "five moves" while she has only about "three moves" in her arsenal. But people like her. Well, some do anyhow. And she is better than she was a few years ago. Hell, I don't know. I'm trying to be fair, but having Kelly Kelly there is an insult to the Divas of the past like Lita, Trish, Ivory, etc., who could look good AND wrestle. To hell with her. She's gone!
Kharma: Keep her. Build her when she comes back. And match her against Beth Phoenix in a kick-ass feud. 'Nuff said!
Kofi Kingston: Again, he's not one of my favorites, but he's got a strong appeal and upside to him. He's likable and sells merchandise and the kids love him. He's a good worker with a unique set of moves. He's safe.
Maryse: She's been out of action for a while with an injury and no one has really noticed. That says it all right there. She's gone.
Mason Ryan: He's got a great look and presence, but aside from that, he's still a relatively unknown factor for the majority of the WWE Universe. If he has the talk to go along with that body, he's a superstar in the making. Let's keep him around and see what he can do. He's safe.
Michael Cole: This is a tough call. He's annoying as heck in the announce position, but he knows how to work a crowd and draw heat like few others. And when he's not playing the obnoxious character, he's actually a very good announcer. I think the positives outweigh the negatives where Cole is concerned. I'd keep him, but I'd give him a change in his role with the company. I'd make him a manager / mentor with a stable of wrestlers who aren't especially gifted in the art of speaking. That way, Cole could get them over as their mouth-piece instead of just annoying everyone at the announce table. He's safe.
Michael McGillicutty: Drop the stupid name, let the man use his real last name and do what we all know he's capable of in the ring. The man is a third generation superstar with a "perfect" pedigree. Use him as such and push him to the moon. I would. He's safe.
Mr. McMahon: He's the boss and unfortunately, we're stuck with him. So Vince gets to stay, but he can spend all of his time helping Linda with her Senate campaign and signing the checks. But so far as the rest of the product goes, he needs to just keep the hands off.
Niki Bella: She looks good and she's a twin, but aside from that, there really isn't much there. She's gone.
Primo: Does anyone remember how popular Carlito was when he first started with the WWE? Primo is capable of being that and so much more, but he needs to be majorly repackaged into the guy he was in Puerto Rico before coming to the WWE. He was way over with the crowds. He could wrestle. He could talk. He could brawl. He had that "it" factor. Then he came to the WWE, got repackaged as "Primo" and lost him way. But he has the skills and tools to be big. It's just a matter of bringing them back to the forefront. He stays.
Ricardo Rodriguez: I like what he adds to the Del Rio character. And reports from Florida and the developmental area say he's a good wrestler. I think he's got a future here. Keep him.
Skip Shefield: He's been out for a while with injuries, but I think he's got the potential to be someone that needs watching. He has a unique look about him and stands out from the crowd. That's a big plus! With someone like Michael Cole or Vickie as his manager, he could really make an impact in the WWE (if he ever heals up, that is). I'd keep him around for a while and see what develops. He's safe.
Rey Mysterio: As talented as Rey is, he's injury prone and his best days are behind him. With Sin Cara on the roster, he's not even the only masked guy anymore. Rey was special and unique. That's no longer true. So give him a nice severence package, sign him to a Legends deal for special occasions, and show him the door. He's gone!
Santino Marella: It's Santino! He's funny! He stays!
Scott Stanford: Who? Can him!
Triple H: He's married to the boss's daughter. We can't get rid of him. So we just have to use him better or else keep him hidden behind the curtain. But either way, we're stuck with him.
Tyler Reks: Who? He's gone too.
Vickie Guerrero: She knows how to get heat and she's a Guerrero. With just two words from her mouth, she can ignite an entire arena in seconds. That is talent. That is Vickie. She's definitely safe.
Zack Ryder: He's over with the fans. He's exciting and fresh! He's the Internet Champion. He's safe! Woo Woo Woo - you know it!
And there you go. That concludes the RAW part of this series, but have no fear because the cast and crew of Friday Night Smackdown will be getting the smackdown on their rooty-poo candy asses tomorrow. 'Nuff said!
Where are you going? We're not done yet. Just like yesterday, I've got a few more ideas for television shows for the upcoming WWE Network, to help fill some of the airtime between all of the promos and piledrivers. So here you go...
"The Dukes of Stamford": A remake of the old show "Dukes of Hazzard", but this time, based in Stamford, CT, the home of the WWE. With Dolph Ziggler and Ted DiBiase as "Bo & Luke Duke". Kelly Kelly as "Daisy". Jim Ross as "Boss Ross". Hillbilly Jim as "Uncle Jesse". And Husky Harris as "Cooter". It'd be a hit for sure.
"Smurfs Of New York": Just paint Rey Mysterio and Hornswoggle blue and send them out wandering the streets of New York City. Hillarity ensues.
"Ron.O": Former WWE Superstar Ron Simmons watches videos from the internet and comments on each one as only he can do. "DAMN!"
That's just a few ideas. Don't worry. I have more (Lord help us all!). And that's it for me today. Comments and questions can be sent to Doug28352@yahoo.com. And if you're a user of Facebook (and who isn't, then come see me at www.facebook.com/saltpalace. Add me as a friend. You know you want to.
I'm Doug and just like the Anonymous Raw General Manager ever since Triple H came back to TV, I am gone and outta here! See you tomorrow.
Ubuntu!
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