Tossing Salt Presents: Wrestling Fact or Fiction
January 11, 2012
Doug Maynard
Wednesday night and that means it's time to tell the truth, the whole truth and nothing but the truth. Or something like that. I'm Doug and this is "Wrestling Fact or Fiction", the weekly look at all of the top topics that are topical with both myself, your esteemed Salt-Tossing homo/emo redneck roustabout and the "Baddest Man in the World with the name of Jackson who's not named Michael", my column writing partner, Russell Jackson.
You know the drill. We have ten topics and we go down the line and offer our opinions as to whether each subject is true or not. It's more fun than watching a kitten slap a ball of string. So let's just get right to it, okay?
The questions were sent out on Monday night after RAW...
1) You think that TNA Genesis was a good pay per view for TNA?
Doug - FICTION: I have to admit that I didn't watch the PPV this past Sunday, but I did follow it as it went along via my computer, plus listened to multiple audio's about the show on Sunday night and the opinions were pretty much unanimous. Good matches to start off with and then three screw-ball finishes towards the end that pretty much crapped over the whole show and gave a big "F.U." to all the fans that paid to watch the event.
Gail Kim - Mickie James w/ Mickie being DQ'ed after being caught with the foreign object that belonged to Gail. Then Kurt over James Storm by screwball means and most importantly, in the match that sold the tickets, Jeff Hardy won by DQ when Robert Roode kicked the ref in the nuts. That's no way to end a PPV event. Where was Sting to come out and restart the match? Where was anyone? Just a bad ending to what could have been a good night for the company. TNA does this quite often, it seems. Build up the PPV with good shows and then totally drop the ball with the big show. And they did it again on Sunday.
Russell - FICTION: I don't watch the TNA shows like I should for this simple reason. I don't like the product & I haven't for quite some time, for as long as "The Power/Ego Trip" (Hulk Hogan & Eric Bitchoff) has been in the organization. If I have to, just to catch up on what's going on, I'll read the results of Impact & PPV shows, which at times is so excruciating, that it literally makes me go cross eyed. TNA Genesis, from which I read in the results, sounded like it was a waste of time being on PPV. The only match that sounded like it would be worth watching was the Fatal 4-Way Elimination match for the X Division Championship. To put it simply, the TNA Organization needs to be rebranded in its entirety from the inside out. If not, I don't see the organization lasting the next 2 years at best.
2) RVD should leave TNA when his contract expires in March and go back to the WWE?
Doug - FACT: RVD is just going through the motions in TNA and no one seems to give a damn, least of all RVD himself. He barely even gets a pop anymore when he comes to the ring. So if RVD is going to continue to wrestle, the WWE is the place to be. He'll be forced to up his game and actually work in his matches to earn his keep, but that's not a bad thing and I think would do wonders for the man. He's so out of place in TNA these days and so few of his former allies and associates are there anymore. The WWE needs strong "name" wrestlers and RVD is certainly one of those and would get an immediate push. There might be a slight problem with the WWE Wellness Program that would have to be worked out, as well as the heavy schedule, but those are minor details that can be worked on. RVD has grown stale in TNA and needs a change of venues. The WWE could definitely use him and would love to have him so when that contract expires, they need to get together and make something happening.
Russell - FACT: If RVD wants to end his wrestling career on a high note/retiring for good, then he needs to end it being with the WWE organization. I think RVD has one more good run left in him. Why would he not use the run in WWE which would be a no brainer. I predict that we will be seein RVD back in the WWE by the summer time. Bank on it!
3) The John Cena / Zack Ryder "bromance" will eventually end with Cena and Ryder feuding?
Doug - FACT: It's wrestling 101 at work. Top face befriends wrestler. They enjoy success together as BFF's. Secondary wrestler gets jealous and tired of being stuck in top star's shadow and turns on him. They feud. It worked like that for Bruno / Zbyszko as well as for Hogan / everyone. It's a system and storyline that works and makes stars. And it'll work here and eventually end up making Ryder into a bigger star than ever.
Russell - FACT: The quote/unquote "bromance" of John Cena & Zack Ryder makes no sense from the start with Ryder being more or less John Cena's lacky. This is a guy that started from nowhere with his career being on the brink of extinction, that took to social media (Twitter, You Tube) to turn his WWE career around. He had a feud with Dolph Ziggler over the United States Championship that saw Ryder FINALLY come out on top when he defeated Ziggler at TLC PPV for the United States Championship.
You would think after "The Zack Attack" came out on top as the new United States Champion, that he would be out on his own, having feuds of his own for his U.S. Championship. Instead, the "Creative Geniuses" that is the WWE Creative Department has him following in the coat tails of John Cena in Cena's feud with Kane. How can I say this in the simplest terms? MAKES NO FLIPPIN SENSE WHATSOFREAKINEVER!!!!! I don't give 2 shakes of a rat's ass if Cena is popular with the kids/ladies, if he leads in merchandise sales, if he's a role model, etc.
The point is the majority of WWE fans (hardcore fans in particular) do not like Cena. Cena's character is beyond stale at best. Here's an idea: With Cena battling The Rock in Rock's home town of Miami, FL at WrestleMania XXVIII, where he's gonna get booed out of the building, have Cena turn complete heel on Zack Ryder say within several weeks of Cena's showdown with The Rock at Mania. It would be completely fresh of Cena's character, plus he could challenge Ryder for Ryder's United States Championship. At least he'd be challenging for a different championship without it being for the WWE Championship.
4) You were happy with the Brodus Clay debut on RAW?
Doug - FICTION: I've had some time to think about it and in the short run, this is probably better for Clay. He's going to get some big moments, some great merchandising money and he stands out from the rest of the pack. This character is memorable and makes an impact. BUT, it's a stupid gimmick. It's Rikishi meets Flash Funk meets Curley Joe (hands up if you know who this is...lol). You don't build up a monster character, a brutal killing machine for weeks and weeks and weeks and then, when he finally debuts, it's "Mr. Funky" and PN News is ready to sue for copyright infringement. "Yo baby yo baby yo!" Hey WWE - 1986 called and they want their gimmick back. In the short term, this character might get Brodus over and be good for some quick money and a laugh, but in the overall picture of things, it's going to be a major stigma that's going to be hard for Clay to put behind him as his career progresses.
Russell - FICTION: Oh dear God, don't let me get started on this freakin subject - oops too late for the now. Well, we finally got to see the big bad Brodus Clay on this past Monday Night Raw. I'm sitting with my better half, enjoyiny our 1 year anniversary, watching Raw in the living room. We hear the ring announcer informing us "From Planet Funk", the Funkasaurus, Brodus Clay". We then see a couple of "dancers" coming out followed by what I thought was a swelled up double or triple dose Flash Funk, no joke/no smoke. Bad, bad, freakin segment.
Is this what all of the waiting, week after week after week was reduced to in seeing a washed up/redo character in the making, Brodus Clay coming down, dancing all around, making a waste of a segment of good quality TV time? The Flash Funk character that was portrayed by Charles Scaggs, who also wrestles as 2 Cold Scorpio, was a complete waste of character back in 1996-1997. Now we're reliving the past by a guy who is double, maybe even triple the size of Scaggs, making a complete jackass of himself in doing this character. Thanks WWE Creative! Once again, it's evident that you don't have the brains of redebuting a wrestler that has the capabilities of being a monster in the ring. The "Funkasaurus from Planet Funk" Brodus Clay is gonna wither away like a bad fart. Mark my words!
5) Even without saying a word, Chris Jericho is the hottest star on RAW?
Doug - FACT: And is that a testament to how good Jericho is or just how bad the rest of the RAW shows have gotten as of late. This stuff that Jericho is doing, the over-acting happiness last week and the crocodile tears this past Monday, it's annoying as hell. But damn it, it's intriguing too. It's making people interested and wondering what is coming next. With no offense to either Ric Flair or JBL, Jericho is in the midst of proving once more that not only was he the first undisputed World Heavyweight Champion, but he's also truly a wrestling god!
Russell - FACT: For the past 2 weeks, Chris Jericho has come out on Raw, not saying a word. Even though I could have done without watching Jericho doing the crying bit from this past Monday's Raw edition, I think Jericho is doing extremely well for himself since his return. Chris Jericho is the hottest wrestler in the WWE period. I feel there's gonna be a twist to his character when we finally find out what his intentions are in the WWE & he's not gonna be alone.
<<<--- SWITCHEROO --->>>
6) Santino Marella is a good choice to replace Zack Ryder as the "Assistant To The GM" on Smackdown?
Russell - FICTION: All Santino Marella has been reduced to is a comedy/goof of a character on both the Smackdown & Raw brand. Makes no sense, yet again, for him to be the "Assistant to the GM". I feel Teddy Long can hold his own in running Smackdown by himself. Why does he need an assistant to help him out running Smackdown? Many people could argue that it helped Zack Ryder's career when Ryder was Teddy Long's assistant on Smackdown. Well for all those many people who argue that point, they're all as clueless as "WWE Creative" who went with that idea & gave it the go (no offense to all the people that read this, that argue that point). Bottom line is, Teddy Long doesn't need an assistant on Smackdown & therefore needs to let Santino Marella go from that position.
Doug - FACT: Johnny Ace has David Otunga by his side as his "legal advisor" so it only makes sense that Teddy Long gets to have an assistant as well. Santino is a great comedy character and can play well with almost anyone so why not use him as comedy foil with Teddy as his straight man. This keeps Santino (hopefully) out of the ring, but still allows us to enjoy his humor and stupidity. I think it's a good place for Santino to be.
7) Daniel Bryan will retain the World Championship when he faces Big Show in a No DQ / No Count Out match this week on Smackdown?
Russell - FACT: As much as I hate to say it, I do think Daniel Bryan will retain the World Heavyweight Championship when he defends against The Big Show this week on Smackdown. He's either going to use a foreign object to knock Big Show out or Mark Henry is gonna interject himself in the match & cause Daniel Bryan to retain the World Title. I look for a Triple Threat match to take place at the Royal Rumble PPV with Daniel Bryan defending the World Heavyweight Championship against BOTH Big Show & Mark Henry.
Doug - FACT: It's far too soon to take the World Championship off of Bryan. He's just getting started making his mark as Champion and I expect that through hook or crook, he'll keep doing whatever it takes to keep that belt firmly around his waist.
8) Edge is a good pick to be part of the WWE Hall of Fame Class of 2012?
Russell - FACT: I've been going back'n'forth with this question since it's been made public that Edge is to be inducted in the WWE Hall of Fame Class of 2012. Even though it's apparent that Edge can no longer wrestle & has retired from the "Squared Circle", I think it's way too soon for him to be inducted in the 2012 HOF Class at this point in time. In my opinion, the Brass of the WWE could have picked another candidate that deserves to be in the HOF Class of 2012 and wait to induct Edge a few more years. But unless the Brass of the WWE knows something that we fans don't, then he's being inducted this year. Nonetheless however, it is still a good pick for Edge to be in the HOF Class of 2012, as it would be a good pick whenever he does get inducted.
Doug - FICTION: I'm not saying that Edge doesn't belong in the WWE Hall of Fame. He does. But this soon after only a year after his retirement? I hate to be nit-picky, but there are several others who should be going in first, such as Bruno Sammartino, Ivan Koloff, Bob Backlund, Mick Foley, Paul Heyman, Wahoo McDaniel, etc. Edge is a great guy from all accounts and it's a shame that his career was cut short due to injuries at such a young age and he's definitely deserving of the honor, but he's young and can afford to wait. What about all these other names who have already been waiting so long? I'm just thinking that they should get their moment in the spotlight first.
9) The Four Horsemen are good picks to be part of the WWE Hall of Fame Class of 2012?
Russell - FACT: I'm actually surprised that The Four Horsemen haven't already been inducted in the Hall of Fame Class of the WWE. The only thing that doesn't make sense is that Ole Anderson isn't gonna be inducted with the rest of the original Horsemen members since he is one of the originals. It is a well known fact that Ole Anderson hates Vince McMahon with a passion & the same with Vince McMahon hating Ole Anderson, but could both of them put aside their differences with one another for 1 night? Just 1 night. Just 1 night, for Ole Anderson to bask in the spotlight for the accomplishments he's done when he was a Horsemen member. If not do it for himself, do it for the fans that grew up when the Horsemen were first formed & active. Can't they (Vince & Ole) all just get along for the sake of the business? Come on Ole, do it for the fans *smiles, thumbs up*.
Anywho, instead of Ole, Barry Windham is getting inducted as a Horsemen member, which is great cause he was a great Horseman,. No doubt about that. I'm hoping that when March 31st gets here, BW will be physically able to attend the HOF ceremony after suffering a heart attack back in October of 2011. Another question that is to be pondered is if Ric Flair will be able to attend the HOF ceremony to be inducted along with "Double A"/"The Enforcer" Arn Anderson, Tully Blanchard, Barry Windham & J.J. Dillon, as he is contractually obligated to TNA? I hope TNA has at least a heart to let Ric Flair go for 1 night to their main rivals HOF ceremony to be inducted with the rest of the Horsemen members & let him bask in the spotlight for the accomplishments that he's made as a Horsemen member. It's all about the Four Horsemen on that night, Diamonds are forever & so are the Four Horsemen, WWWWWWOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!
Doug - FACT: Before there was a DX or a nWo or any kind of "Super Group", there was The Horsemen. They were the first and they were the best and no group or faction deserves it anymore. I do have issue with Ole Anderson not being acknowledged as part of the faction, with the WWE choosing to induct the third incarnation of the group (Ric, Arn, Tully and Barry Windham w/ J.J. Dillon) instead. I'm pretty sure that Arn, Tully and the others will be sure to send shout-outs to Ole from the stage to make sure he gets his due. Without Ole, there never would have been a Horsemen team. That's just simple fact and I hope that the WWE at least invited Ole and reached out to him (and sends him a plaque, check and HOF ring if he chooses not to attend). And I also hope that the WWE is smart / considerate enough to have the former Horsemen not included in the Induction (Lex Luger, Sid Vicious, Dean Malenko, Baby Doll and Mongo McMichael) in the audience in the front row during the ceremonies so they can stand up and take a bow. The Horsemen definitely belong in any and every Pro Wrestling Hall of Fame. Diamonds are forever and so are The Horsemen!
10) The WWE Should Push The Debut of The WWE Network back to the fall instead of attempting to debut Wrestlemania weekend?
Russell - FACT: When the WWE made the announcement that the WWE Network was gonna be launched on April 1st, on the same day as WrestleMania XXVIII, it made no sense to me. To me, it would have been a major flop to launch the WWE Network on that day with WrestleMania being in the spotlight. I think the WWE Network should be pushed back to debut in the fall where nothing will take the spotlight away from the Network debuting. Hopefully, The WWE Network will be a big success where entities like *COUGHING* The XFL *COUGHING* withered away like a bad fart.
Doug - FACT: If they're not ready to debut the network, then they're not ready. Push back the debut (just like they did with Brodus Clay) and get everything in order with as many clearances as possible. Make sure that everything and everyone is in position and then cut loose and go with it. If they try to get started too soon and don't have their ducks in a row, the WWE Network will end up going the way of the XFL and WBF... and nobody wants that. So yeah, they should definitely wait.
And there you go. Another column in the books and we finished with a score of 8 - 2. Still no unanimous agreements, but we're getting there. Maybe one day. Before I head out, I want to send a shout-out to my nigga, Kenneth Wayne McDonald, who celebrated his 21rst Birthday yesterday (Tuesday). Happy Birthday, my brutha! Love ya! And also Happy Anniversary (1 Year) to my partner-in-wrestling crime and the co-author of this column, Russell and his "better half". Congrats on Year 1 with many, many more to go.
Questions and comments can be sent to Doug28352@yahoo.com. Go visit my blogsite for all things Dougie (wrestling, political commentary, fiction stories, surveys, etc) at www.tsfiction.blogspot.com. And I guess that's everything for now. I'm going to go get drunk now. Ooops! Keep forgetting that I don't drink anymore. I'll get drunk on life. Yeah, that'll work. Have a great week and I'll catch you on the flip side.
Ubuntu!
Wednesday, January 11, 2012
Tossing Salt - Worldwide News: January 11, 2012
Tossing Salt - Worldwide News
January 11, 2012
Doug Maynard
Have you ever had just one of those days? No, not those days but the other ones. THOSE days. Yeah, you know what I'm talking about. This is one of THOSE days. Where the mind and body are both baffled, dazed and confused. I don't know which way is up, which way is down and who actually does the hokey-pokey and what it really is all about. I need to quit watching the political news on TV. It's some creepy and whacky stuff.
Kind of like RAW this past Monday night. (See how I transitioned that opening remark into a wrestling-themed comment? Pretty good, right?) Yeppers, I watched WWE Monday Night RAW Supershow and well... it was a show. Not sure how "super" it was though. It was... different. It was so different that I have had images of Brodus Clay getting funky, Ryder playing "Mr. Goodwrench" and Santino yelling "Cobra!" circling in my mind for the past day and 1/2. Actually, that's not all that unusual and kind of par for the course. Ooops!
But I've decided that since RAW touched on so many different topics, both good and bad, it's only fair that I do the same... here... now! So here you go. I'm Doug and this is Pro Wrestling's Most Eclectic Column since 2003, the one and only, often duplicated and sometimes even regurgitated, "Tossing Salt - Worldwide News!". Let's do this...
Happy 21rst Birthday to my favorite nigga, Kenneth Wayne McDonald. Got a cute girlfriend, an awesome young'un and now you're legal too. What more can you ask for? Have a great day, my friend! HAPPY BIRTHDAY!
Brodus Clay - Super Freak
For weeks and weeks and weeks, the WWE has been promoting the re-debut of the man who once served as Alberto Del Rio's bodyguard, the unstoppable monster, Brodus Clay. And this past Monday, it finally happens and we expect to see this huge monster of a monster (so monsterous, you have to say it twice) come out and decimate his opponent. Well, we see Curt Hawkins waiting in the ring and we see hear the announcer make the introduction and do we get the merciless, marauding monsterous killing machine? Nope! We get a trip through Mr. Peabody's "Way Back Machine" and end up with the love child of PN News meets Grand Master Sexay meets... okay, I just went blank and can't think of anyone else, but still... DAMN! 1983 called and they want their character back. What the hell is WWE and their so-called "Creative Team" thinking? This is terrible! This is awful! This is so stupid!
And then I realized something. Yes, this new gimmick is all of those things, but it's also unique (for today's WWE), it stands out and it's memorable. And if they did as I was expecting, having Brodus debut, kill Hawkins dead and leave, we wouldn't be giving it another thought. Brodus Clay would be just another big man monster in the WWE. But now, he's the "Funkasaurus" who dances with two hot ladies and excites the fans by blowing the roof off the arena's even before he gets into the ring and wrestles.
"Dude Love!"... That's who I was thinking of earlier when I went blank. We get a trip through Mr. Peabody's "Way Back Machine" and end up with the love child of PN News meets Grand Master Sexay meets Dude Love! There you go. I don't care you are. That's funny right there... lol. Okay, maybe not. Now where was I? Oh yeah, as stupid as the gimmick might be (and it's pretty damn dumb), it makes Brodus stand out from the crowd and will give him a chance to really establish himself and become an attraction. At some point in the future, he can trash the dancing and girls and be a pissed-off monster, but for the time being, I'm willing to give this new gimmick a chance. After all, look what all the dancing did for Tank Abbott in WCW? Ooops! Brodus is doomed!
Break The Walls Down... With Tears?
Another great Chris Jericho segment. He comes to the ring to cut a promo. And instead of talking, he cries? What the... ??? Okay, I admit it. I am officially intrigued. And the really bad thing about it is that this was the best part of RAW apart from the Hall of Fame announcements. Jericho is de' man!!
The WWE Hall of Fame - Part 1...
And the first name announced as part of the WWE Hall of Fame Class of 2012 is Adam Copeland, aka "Edge". And I'm kind of conflicted on this one. While I have absolutely no doubt that Edge is a great performer and belongs in the WWE Hall of Fame at some point, it just seems to me that WWE is rushing things a bit by inducting him this year. He retired one year ago after a great match at Wrestlemania 27, due to injuries and has remained a part of the WWE Universe since then. He still a young man and there are many, many others (Wahoo McDaniel, Tommy Rich, Mr. Wrestling II, Bob Caudle, Madusa, Lex Luger, Bob Backlund, Bruno Sammartino,etc) that deserve their spot in the sun first.
But then again, that's just my opinion. Edge has always been loyal to the WWE since day one of his career and when others walked, he (and HBK) were the ones who always stayed. If it was up to me, I would hold off on Edge for a few more years as being part of the WWE Hall of Fame. But it's not up to me. It's up to Vince McMahon and the rest of the WWE powers-that-be and they want Edge. So be it. If they're looking for a stacked roster of Inductees for this year's HOF Class, then Edge is a good way to start.
The WWE Hall of Fame - Part 2...
And then we have the second announcement for the WWE Hall of Fame Class of 2012, the very well deserving "Four Horsemen". I literally got chills up and down my arms as they showed that great video package. I've been a fan of The Horsemen since Day 1 (one of the big advantages of being a native Mid-Atlantic resident) and they were the first legitimate "Super Group" of pro-wrestling. But two things stand out from the video announcing the Induction that really disturb me.
The first thing is that the men announced as being inducted as part of "The Horsemen" are Ric Flair, Tully Blanchard, Arn Anderson, Barry Windham and J.J. Dillon. And that's all well and good, but where the hell is Ole Anderson? He was one of the original Horsemen and was part of the original package. To be totally honest, he was the rock among whom the original package (Horsemen) were based around. Would there have ever been a "Four Horsemen" team without first having the legendary Minnesota Wrecking Crew, Ole and Gene, dominate wrestling for the prior fifteen years? Not hardly. Ole was there first and Ric was brought in as his cousin. Then Arn was brought in as the other cousin after Gene retired from the business. The Andersons became Flair's bodyguards to protect that NWA World Championship. And then Tully and J.J. came along later on. But Ole was first and without him as part of the Horseman induction, it's just not right.
The reason for this is that quite simply, Vince McMahon doesn't like Ole and Ole doesn't like anyone, but especially if their name is McMahon. McMahon stole Georgia Championship Wrestling away from Ole through devious means (even for a wrestling promoter) and Ole holds a grudge. It's not right and it sucks! But I'm going to look at it like this. With "The Four Horsemen" being inducted into the HOF, I'm going to consider that every single wrestler who was a legitimate Horseman (sorry Jeff Jarrett - that doesn't include you... Paul Roma neither cause he sucks) is a Hall of Fame member. That means Ric Flair, Arn, Tully, Windham and J.J. Dillon PLUS Ole, Lex Luger, Baby Doll, Sid Vicious, Flyin' Brian Pillman, Chris Benoit, Woman, Elizabeth, Dean Malenko, Steve "Mongo" McMichael and Curt Hennig.
I'm sure that either Arn or one of the other Horsemen will mention Ole. They can't have a Horsemen induction without him and I expect that there will be a shout-out to the other former Horsemen as well. Maybe we'll see the rest of the group I mentioned above (Luger, Sid, Malenko and Mongo) sitting in the front row of the audience at the ceremony. I expect that we'll see Horsemen past and present popping up all over the place over the next few months to cash in.
Let's go on to the other big question about the induction of The Horsemen. In the video package, heavily featured is "The Nature Boy" Ric Flair. Will Ric be at the HOF event? Can Ric even be at the HOF event? Ric is currently a member of the TNA roster and is under contract to TNA and I can't see that company letting one of their top names attend an event and work for their biggest rival.
It might happen because this is a special situation and I can see where they may allow Ric to attend the HOF ceremony, but not be at Wrestlemania the next evening. It's going to be interesting to see how all of this works out in the end. I hope Ric is there.
And for that matter, I hope that Barry Windham is healthy enough to be at the ceremony. He lives in Florida so it wouldn't be rough traveling time, but the last I heard about Barry is that while he's recovering from the stroke he had a few months ago and has returned home, he's still got a long ways to go for a recovery. Maybe he'll surprise us all. Let's hope so.
TRIVIA FACT: With Barry Windham being inducted as part of the Four Horsemen this year, that makes him and his father, Blackjack Mulligan, who was inducted in 2006 as part of The Blackjacks, the only father-son set of Inductees in the Hall of Fame.
Woo Woo What?
What the hell was the deal with Zack Ryder on RAW? He's gone from being funny and fresh and exciting to being an idiot. The "rub" from John Cena is wearing thin and now he's getting stalked by Kane? What? And when he and Eve are fleeing, they have a flat tire? And Zack decides to change it... on camera... while being stalked by a monster. Leave the car and call a cab, you idiot!
It looks to me, and I may be wrong, that the WWE Creative team is trying to kill off Ryder's character. Everything that he did that got him over with the fans and made him popular is now forgotten and he's become John Cena's "Jason Todd" version of Robin. How long before The Joker (Kane) beats Ryder to death with a crowbar? WWE has a diamond in the rough and future piece of big money with Ryder, but they'd rather just flush it down the toliet like a nasty little nugget. And that's a shame because Ryder deserves better. 'Nuff said!
I guess I'm going to close this up now. I've got a few more things I wanted to add, but they can wait. I still have a political blog to go write now and it's getting late.
Questions and comments can be sent to Doug28352@yahoo.com. To go read all of my columns, wrestling, political and otherwise, go visit my blog-site at www.tsfiction.blogspot.com. And keep your eyes open for "Tossing Salt Presents Wrestling Fact Or Fiction" by myself and "The Loose Cannon" Russell Jackson. It'll be up here at Wrestle-Zone.UK within the next day or so.
Thank you for reading. I'm Doug and dat' is all de people need to know! Have a great week.
Ubuntu!
January 11, 2012
Doug Maynard
Have you ever had just one of those days? No, not those days but the other ones. THOSE days. Yeah, you know what I'm talking about. This is one of THOSE days. Where the mind and body are both baffled, dazed and confused. I don't know which way is up, which way is down and who actually does the hokey-pokey and what it really is all about. I need to quit watching the political news on TV. It's some creepy and whacky stuff.
Kind of like RAW this past Monday night. (See how I transitioned that opening remark into a wrestling-themed comment? Pretty good, right?) Yeppers, I watched WWE Monday Night RAW Supershow and well... it was a show. Not sure how "super" it was though. It was... different. It was so different that I have had images of Brodus Clay getting funky, Ryder playing "Mr. Goodwrench" and Santino yelling "Cobra!" circling in my mind for the past day and 1/2. Actually, that's not all that unusual and kind of par for the course. Ooops!
But I've decided that since RAW touched on so many different topics, both good and bad, it's only fair that I do the same... here... now! So here you go. I'm Doug and this is Pro Wrestling's Most Eclectic Column since 2003, the one and only, often duplicated and sometimes even regurgitated, "Tossing Salt - Worldwide News!". Let's do this...
Happy 21rst Birthday to my favorite nigga, Kenneth Wayne McDonald. Got a cute girlfriend, an awesome young'un and now you're legal too. What more can you ask for? Have a great day, my friend! HAPPY BIRTHDAY!
Brodus Clay - Super Freak
For weeks and weeks and weeks, the WWE has been promoting the re-debut of the man who once served as Alberto Del Rio's bodyguard, the unstoppable monster, Brodus Clay. And this past Monday, it finally happens and we expect to see this huge monster of a monster (so monsterous, you have to say it twice) come out and decimate his opponent. Well, we see Curt Hawkins waiting in the ring and we see hear the announcer make the introduction and do we get the merciless, marauding monsterous killing machine? Nope! We get a trip through Mr. Peabody's "Way Back Machine" and end up with the love child of PN News meets Grand Master Sexay meets... okay, I just went blank and can't think of anyone else, but still... DAMN! 1983 called and they want their character back. What the hell is WWE and their so-called "Creative Team" thinking? This is terrible! This is awful! This is so stupid!
And then I realized something. Yes, this new gimmick is all of those things, but it's also unique (for today's WWE), it stands out and it's memorable. And if they did as I was expecting, having Brodus debut, kill Hawkins dead and leave, we wouldn't be giving it another thought. Brodus Clay would be just another big man monster in the WWE. But now, he's the "Funkasaurus" who dances with two hot ladies and excites the fans by blowing the roof off the arena's even before he gets into the ring and wrestles.
"Dude Love!"... That's who I was thinking of earlier when I went blank. We get a trip through Mr. Peabody's "Way Back Machine" and end up with the love child of PN News meets Grand Master Sexay meets Dude Love! There you go. I don't care you are. That's funny right there... lol. Okay, maybe not. Now where was I? Oh yeah, as stupid as the gimmick might be (and it's pretty damn dumb), it makes Brodus stand out from the crowd and will give him a chance to really establish himself and become an attraction. At some point in the future, he can trash the dancing and girls and be a pissed-off monster, but for the time being, I'm willing to give this new gimmick a chance. After all, look what all the dancing did for Tank Abbott in WCW? Ooops! Brodus is doomed!
Break The Walls Down... With Tears?
Another great Chris Jericho segment. He comes to the ring to cut a promo. And instead of talking, he cries? What the... ??? Okay, I admit it. I am officially intrigued. And the really bad thing about it is that this was the best part of RAW apart from the Hall of Fame announcements. Jericho is de' man!!
The WWE Hall of Fame - Part 1...
And the first name announced as part of the WWE Hall of Fame Class of 2012 is Adam Copeland, aka "Edge". And I'm kind of conflicted on this one. While I have absolutely no doubt that Edge is a great performer and belongs in the WWE Hall of Fame at some point, it just seems to me that WWE is rushing things a bit by inducting him this year. He retired one year ago after a great match at Wrestlemania 27, due to injuries and has remained a part of the WWE Universe since then. He still a young man and there are many, many others (Wahoo McDaniel, Tommy Rich, Mr. Wrestling II, Bob Caudle, Madusa, Lex Luger, Bob Backlund, Bruno Sammartino,etc) that deserve their spot in the sun first.
But then again, that's just my opinion. Edge has always been loyal to the WWE since day one of his career and when others walked, he (and HBK) were the ones who always stayed. If it was up to me, I would hold off on Edge for a few more years as being part of the WWE Hall of Fame. But it's not up to me. It's up to Vince McMahon and the rest of the WWE powers-that-be and they want Edge. So be it. If they're looking for a stacked roster of Inductees for this year's HOF Class, then Edge is a good way to start.
The WWE Hall of Fame - Part 2...
And then we have the second announcement for the WWE Hall of Fame Class of 2012, the very well deserving "Four Horsemen". I literally got chills up and down my arms as they showed that great video package. I've been a fan of The Horsemen since Day 1 (one of the big advantages of being a native Mid-Atlantic resident) and they were the first legitimate "Super Group" of pro-wrestling. But two things stand out from the video announcing the Induction that really disturb me.
The first thing is that the men announced as being inducted as part of "The Horsemen" are Ric Flair, Tully Blanchard, Arn Anderson, Barry Windham and J.J. Dillon. And that's all well and good, but where the hell is Ole Anderson? He was one of the original Horsemen and was part of the original package. To be totally honest, he was the rock among whom the original package (Horsemen) were based around. Would there have ever been a "Four Horsemen" team without first having the legendary Minnesota Wrecking Crew, Ole and Gene, dominate wrestling for the prior fifteen years? Not hardly. Ole was there first and Ric was brought in as his cousin. Then Arn was brought in as the other cousin after Gene retired from the business. The Andersons became Flair's bodyguards to protect that NWA World Championship. And then Tully and J.J. came along later on. But Ole was first and without him as part of the Horseman induction, it's just not right.
The reason for this is that quite simply, Vince McMahon doesn't like Ole and Ole doesn't like anyone, but especially if their name is McMahon. McMahon stole Georgia Championship Wrestling away from Ole through devious means (even for a wrestling promoter) and Ole holds a grudge. It's not right and it sucks! But I'm going to look at it like this. With "The Four Horsemen" being inducted into the HOF, I'm going to consider that every single wrestler who was a legitimate Horseman (sorry Jeff Jarrett - that doesn't include you... Paul Roma neither cause he sucks) is a Hall of Fame member. That means Ric Flair, Arn, Tully, Windham and J.J. Dillon PLUS Ole, Lex Luger, Baby Doll, Sid Vicious, Flyin' Brian Pillman, Chris Benoit, Woman, Elizabeth, Dean Malenko, Steve "Mongo" McMichael and Curt Hennig.
I'm sure that either Arn or one of the other Horsemen will mention Ole. They can't have a Horsemen induction without him and I expect that there will be a shout-out to the other former Horsemen as well. Maybe we'll see the rest of the group I mentioned above (Luger, Sid, Malenko and Mongo) sitting in the front row of the audience at the ceremony. I expect that we'll see Horsemen past and present popping up all over the place over the next few months to cash in.
Let's go on to the other big question about the induction of The Horsemen. In the video package, heavily featured is "The Nature Boy" Ric Flair. Will Ric be at the HOF event? Can Ric even be at the HOF event? Ric is currently a member of the TNA roster and is under contract to TNA and I can't see that company letting one of their top names attend an event and work for their biggest rival.
It might happen because this is a special situation and I can see where they may allow Ric to attend the HOF ceremony, but not be at Wrestlemania the next evening. It's going to be interesting to see how all of this works out in the end. I hope Ric is there.
And for that matter, I hope that Barry Windham is healthy enough to be at the ceremony. He lives in Florida so it wouldn't be rough traveling time, but the last I heard about Barry is that while he's recovering from the stroke he had a few months ago and has returned home, he's still got a long ways to go for a recovery. Maybe he'll surprise us all. Let's hope so.
TRIVIA FACT: With Barry Windham being inducted as part of the Four Horsemen this year, that makes him and his father, Blackjack Mulligan, who was inducted in 2006 as part of The Blackjacks, the only father-son set of Inductees in the Hall of Fame.
Woo Woo What?
What the hell was the deal with Zack Ryder on RAW? He's gone from being funny and fresh and exciting to being an idiot. The "rub" from John Cena is wearing thin and now he's getting stalked by Kane? What? And when he and Eve are fleeing, they have a flat tire? And Zack decides to change it... on camera... while being stalked by a monster. Leave the car and call a cab, you idiot!
It looks to me, and I may be wrong, that the WWE Creative team is trying to kill off Ryder's character. Everything that he did that got him over with the fans and made him popular is now forgotten and he's become John Cena's "Jason Todd" version of Robin. How long before The Joker (Kane) beats Ryder to death with a crowbar? WWE has a diamond in the rough and future piece of big money with Ryder, but they'd rather just flush it down the toliet like a nasty little nugget. And that's a shame because Ryder deserves better. 'Nuff said!
I guess I'm going to close this up now. I've got a few more things I wanted to add, but they can wait. I still have a political blog to go write now and it's getting late.
Questions and comments can be sent to Doug28352@yahoo.com. To go read all of my columns, wrestling, political and otherwise, go visit my blog-site at www.tsfiction.blogspot.com. And keep your eyes open for "Tossing Salt Presents Wrestling Fact Or Fiction" by myself and "The Loose Cannon" Russell Jackson. It'll be up here at Wrestle-Zone.UK within the next day or so.
Thank you for reading. I'm Doug and dat' is all de people need to know! Have a great week.
Ubuntu!
Saturday, January 7, 2012
Tossing Salt - Worldwide News: January 7, 2012
Tossing Salt - Worldwide News
January 7, 2012
Doug Maynard
Happy New Year! It's me (Doug) and we're excited here at "Tossing Salt Media, Inc." Not only is pro wrestling's most eclectic column, "Tossing Salt - Worldwide News" now entering it's ninth year, which is almost unpredecented in the world of internet wrestling journalism (whatever that is), but also our other column, "Tossing Salt Presents Wrestling Fact Or Fiction", featuring myself and the man, the myth, the legend, the man who even Fonzie calls cool, Russell Jackson, is a big time hit! You like us! You really like us! So good times are running rampant here at "TSM". And I haven't even had to get drunk yet. Well, not much anyhow.
And to celebrate all the good times and glee, I'm going to act like a gay teenager and shout out the biggest catch-phrase of the seventies, "DYN-O-MITE!"...lol. Whew! I'm glad I got that out of my system. Now let's move on to today's column. I watched TNA Impact Wrestling last night. Yeah, I know. It was hard for me too. But I wanted to be fair and opened minded towards the Orlando-based company. I give them a hard time as compared to the WWE because basically, despite having all that great talent on the roster, when compared to the WWE, TNA sucks!
But I am nothing if not fair. Every so often, I try to watch and listen and learn and check in to see if things are getting any better. I did that last night and I have to admit that despite some goofiness and slight head scratching on my part, it was a good show. Lots of wrestling and the backstage segments actually made sense (for a change). So in honor of what I hope will be a regular thing, I've decided that for my first column of 2012 (aside from the "Fact or Fiction" column we posted earlier today and my political blogs), it's going to be all TNA. I may make an occasional smart-ass remark in regards to the WWE along the way, as I'm prone to do, but it's all about TNA today and making the biggest Impact!
So what's on the agenda? I want to do a cliffnote version review of TNA Impact Wrestling from last night on Spike TV. I've got predictions for the big pay per view coming up on Sunday night, TNA Genesis. I've got a new "Casting Call" segment with the superstars of TNA Impact Wrestling being cast as the power players in U.S. Politics as the persons seeking the Republican Nomination for President of the United States. And I've got a few thoughts and comments about a rumor making it's way around the wrestling world about a possible big name departure. This column is more packed than Charlie Sheen's nose on a weekend binge. Let's do this...
RVD Leaving???
The rumors have started to fly that former WWE, TNA and ECW Champion Rob Van Dam, who's contract with TNA expires in March, is giving serious consideration about jumping ship to the WWE. And my thoughts on the matter are so what? He hasn't been a factor or force in TNA for quite a while and I even noted a few months ago after watching a match between RVD and Christopher Daniels that RVD just seems be going through the motions as of late. The matches he's been having aren't bad at all, but there just doesn't seem to be any enthusiasm by RVD. And that's not a good thing at all. If RVD is just there to collect a paycheck, TNA really doesn't need him. There are several younger and fresher talents, like Zema Ion, Jesse Sorenson, Austin Aries, etc., who are more than ready to step up and take that spot.
And at this point, the WWE might be where RVD needs to be. One of his best friends in the business, Booker T, has already made a successful return to the company and you know that the WWE would love to have Rob back. I'm sure that a schedule to accomodate Rob, much like has been done with Chris Jericho and Kevin Nash, wouldn't be hard to work out to everyone's benefit and the WWE might be the right place to light the fire back up for Van Dam. It's hard to stay motivated when nobody ever see's you wrestle, but in the WWE, RVD would be a special attraction and no matter his spot on the roster, people would stand up and take notice.
I don't know if the rumors are true and if RVD is even seriously considering another WWE run, but for money, for recognition, and for high-profile matches where he really strut his stuff and show why he's considered to be one of the best in the world, the WWE is the place he needs to be. Just picture in your mind a feud with RVD versus CM Punk? Mr. 4:20 taking on Mr. Straight Edge. Just the promos alone would be major $$$$. Not to mention feuds with Jericho, Cena (if Cena wins, we riot), Wade Barrett, Sheamus, The Miz, etc. And if none of that works, tag teaming with Booker T, Kofi Kingston or Zack Ryder. The WWE is the place for RVD where the most opportunities are available and I hope he keeps all of that in mind. Let's lose the "by the numbers" RVD that's been hanging out in Orlando and let's bring back the "Whole F'ng Show" that we all remember so well. And that means a return to the WWE later this year. I hope it happens.
The Cliffnote Review: TNA Impact Wrestling!
As I mentioned earlier, I watched TNA Impact Wrestling last night on Spike TV. Time for a recap of all the action and excitement.
Sting calls out Jeff Hardy and shows some bromance. Bobby Roode, Bully Ray and Mr. Olympic Gold Medal object. James Storm and Abyss come out. Abyss drinks a beer. Sting makes a six man main event. Madison Rayne rough-houses in the pool with Traci Brooks. Gail Kim too and they do some dunking. The Knockouts wrestle for the tag title. Gail and Madison show dee-feet to Madison and Mickie. Ric Flair inspires Gunner by plotting RVDicide. Sting ruins their fun because Flair has to stay in the back. Gunner threatens destruction. Eric Young is in love with ODB. Why? Magnus & Samoa Joe are best buds. So are AJ Styles and Kazarian. Sting likes Garrett Bischoff and gives him boots. "You a 'rassler now, Eric!". Gunner and RVD fight. RVD gets caught in ring apron. Ouch! Gunner tries for murder. We get Al(vin),Simon (Diamond) and Theodore (as portrayed by D-Lo) down to break up things. Double-count out and no one died. Storm, Hardy and Abyss aren't scared of anything. Kurt, Roode and Bully Ray threaten mayhem. Ray plugs house show and threatens to smoke RVD. Kid Kash and Austin Aries are solid team, but lose to "Football Hero" Jesse Sorenson and "Cough Syrup Tasting Malty Beverage" Zema Ion. I like Ion. He's cocky! AJ and Kazarian are headed towards the ring. We see a "Fallen Angel!" Eric Young and ODB make out. That's nasty! Joe and Magnus are headed towards the tag titles after Kazarian's fallen guardian angel makes an appearance and AJ gets distracted and killed like a bitch by Samoa Joe. A brawl as the tag champs and the new contenders face off. The main event six man fiasco takes place and the bad guys dominate in the end after the match is thrown out by the referee. And the shows ends as we're reminded about the pay per view on Sunday and TNA Genesis.
And that's how a recap should be. Quick, precise and to the point. I love doing this stuff. Let's move on. What's next?
TNA Casting Call: The TNA Superstars As The GOP Presidential Contenders...
I'm not sure how many wrestling fans are following the political scene in the U.S. with the numerous men and women fighting it out to be the nominee for the Republican Party and be able to compete against U.S. President Barack Obama in November of next year, but it's something I am following very, very closely. I love politics (almost as much as I love wrestling) and have actually done several blogs about the candidiates and their standing in the current race. (These blogs can be read at my blogsite, the home of all things Dougie, at www.tsfiction.blogspot.com, if you're interested. Well, I've decided to combine my two passions and do a quick casting call piece. Let's just assume that a movie was being made about the 2012 Republican Party and the people who would be President (and) let's assume that TNA was given the option to cast all of the major roles with TNA Superstars. Who would be cast in each role? That's what I'm here to determine. By the way, the opinions expressed here are mine and mine alone and not the opinions of Wrestle-Zone UK or anyone else so if anyone takes offense at my somewhat jaded comments, blame me. Just saying. So let's do this...
Mitt Romney - Sting: There is a resemblence between the two. Both are tall and slim with chiseled looks and both have an aura of authority. Both look like leaders. But unfortunately, that's where the resemblence ends. Sting has charisma and energy while Mitt looks like a poster child for... well, he just looks like a poster. BORING! Sting could tone it down a bit and play the role of the former MA Governor though. It's showtime folks!
Rick Perry - Eric Young: The only reason I picked Eric to play the Texas Governor is that they're both crazy as bat-poop. And I personally think they're both gay too, not that it matters to me. Hell, I wish they were. It might even give me a reason to like either of them then.
Ron Paul - Ric Flair: Two crazy old men with fanatical followings that I have a lot of respect for, but the thought of either of them in actual power scares the hell out of me.
Michele Bachmann - Madison Rayne: Bachmann is a terrible speaker with a whining voice that rips through your ears and sends tremors down the spine (and not in a good way). Rayne has that "whine" down pat and despite being incredibly sexy, is also very annoying. A perfect fit.
Newt Gingrich - Eric Bischoff: Let me clarify here that I actually like Newt and think that, along with Jon Huntsman, he's probably the man who would make the best President for our country. But just because I like him doesn't mean that he gets spared. To play the role of the former Speaker Of The House, I wanted someone with a long history, a bit of a mean streak, a long list of accomplishments that seem to get overshadowed by the personal baggage and arrogance that they seem to constantly put forth. And since I couldn't find anyone with a physical resemblence to the former Speaker (the Stay-Puff Marshmellow Man wasn't available), I decided to go with the man with the most similar background and history. And no one else in TNA has a history closer to Newt's than Eric Bischoff.
Rick Santorum - Jesse Sorenson: They both look to be about fifteen years old so that's why I picked Sorenson. Strictly on the physical resemblance because I seriously doubt that Sorenson is as bigoted, racist, homophobic or hypocritical as the former PA Senator. Few people can be.
Jon Huntsman - Jeff Jarrett: I picked Double-J to portray the former Utah Governor and former Ambassador to China simply because it's not fair to do a TNA "Casting Call" without using Jeff Jarrett and also because they're both family people who are often overlooked and underestimated by their detractors, no matter how unfair or wrong it may be.
Sarah Palin - Dafney: She's not running for anything, but people still talk about this brain-dead, former beauty queen. So I decided to include her and who would be better to portray her than Shannon Ward aka "Daffney", aka "The Governor". She did it before and would be the definite first choice to do it again.
Chris Christie - Samoa Joe: They're both big, huge men with attitude and nobody in their right mind will screw with them. Put Joe in a suit and he could look like a native New Jersey resident. Yeah, sure he can. But I couldn't think of any other TNA star that has the size and stature to portray the New Jersey Governor. And besides, Joe kills bitches dead! 'Nuff said!
So there you go. If TNA ever decides to get into the movie business and makes a movie about the 2012 political scene here in the U.S. and more specifically, the race for the Republican Nomination for Candidiate for President of the United States, that's who should be cast for each major role. I have spoken so make it so. Let's move on.
TNA Genesis Pay Per View Predictions
Coming up on Sunday night is the lastest pay per view offering by the fine folks of Total Non-Stop Action Impact Wrestling. And a pay per view means predictions. So I'll put on my "Sister Cleo" outfit and break out the crystal ball. Let's do this...
TNA World Championship Match
Bobby Roode (c) versus Jeff Hardy
Jef Hardy does not belong in the main event of this pay per view and definitely does not deserve to be the World Champion. I'm all about second chances and by all reports, Jeff is walking the line and staying on the straight and narrow, but he screwed up big time and he has to pay his dues and earn his spot back at the top of the TNA roster. So far, he's on the right track, but he still has a ways to go in my opinion. Plus, so far it doesn't seem to me that Roode has really had a chance to prove himself and make his impact as the TNA Champion. I think that Roode retains after a grueling match and this feud continues for several more months to come.
Winner and STILL TNA Impact World Champion: Bobby Roode
Kurt Angle versus James Storm
This one should be pretty good and could easily go either way without either man being hurt by a loss. I think that Storm has the momentum (and Angle has to take some time off to try out for the Olympics - just ask him. He'll tell you!) Storm needs to get away from this Angle feud and back into the World Championship picture. I think he'll take the win here and Kurt Angle will be hearing those famous words, "Sorry about your damn luck!"
Winner: "The Cowboy" James Storm
TNA World Tag Team Championship Match
Matt Morgan & Crimson (c) versus Samoa Joe & Magnus
New team with their first shot at the tag titles? I think this feud with four of TNA's bigget guys has some legs on it and is going to last a while. So no title change yet. It'll happen, but not in the first defense.
Winners and STILL Champions: Matt Morgan & Crimson
Pope Dinero versus Devon
Devon is the good guy. He wants to get his kids back. The kids like the Pope better. They turn on daddy and this feud that no one cares about continues.
Winner: Pope Dinero
Monster's Ball Match - If Abyss Loses, He Must Rejoin Immortal
Bully Ray versus Abyss
Immortal is falling apart and since Hogan / Bischoff have vanished, have really lost their luster and magic. I think the empire continues to crumble as the recruitment effort fails and Bully Ray takes a big time bully-beatodwn at the hands of the monster.
Winner: Abyss
TNA X-Division Championship Match
Austin Aries versus Kid Kash versus Jesse Sorensen versus Zema Ion
I'd love to see Ion win. That kid impresses me a great deal (and he's a sexy beast too!) Kash would be great to see win as well because it would totally reverse the logistics of the Kash - Aries relationship and could make for some great TV. Aries is doing an awesome job as the TNA X-Divsion Champion. The only one I can not seeing an upside to having win the title at this point and time is Sorensen. So naturally, that means he wins by pinning Cash. And Aries is NOT a happy camper.
Winner and NEW TNA X-Division Champion: Jesse Sorensen
TNA Knockouts Championship Match
Gail Kim (c) versus Mickie James
Gail wins and Mickie eats de'feet! 'Nuff said!
Winner and STILL TNA Knockouts Champion: Gail Kim
Gunner (with Ric Flair) versus Rob Van Dam
RVD is ready to leave TNA and move on with his career elsewhere (in my opinion anyhow). Gunner is the resident hot child in the city and I think will be moving soon into a feud with Garrett Bischoff. So expect RVD to fly around a while, expect Flair to style, profile and be a crazy man. Expect some Garrett interference. And expect Gunner to be the man to walk out with his arm raised in victory.
Winner: Gunner
And there you go. It should be a good show with plenty of action if this past week's episode of Impact was any indication. So check it out on Sunday night. It should be fun.
And I guess that's all for today. I had a few more things I wanted to get in here, but time is a thief and seems to have vanished into the night, so I'll let the other stuff slide until my next urge to ramble, rant and rock the Kazbah! Questions and comments can be sent to Doug28352@yahoo.com. And for all things Dougie, go visit my blogsite at www.tsfiction.blogspot.com.
Until the next time, stay safe. 'Dat is all de' people need to know. I'm Doug and I am out of here.
Ubuntu!
January 7, 2012
Doug Maynard
Happy New Year! It's me (Doug) and we're excited here at "Tossing Salt Media, Inc." Not only is pro wrestling's most eclectic column, "Tossing Salt - Worldwide News" now entering it's ninth year, which is almost unpredecented in the world of internet wrestling journalism (whatever that is), but also our other column, "Tossing Salt Presents Wrestling Fact Or Fiction", featuring myself and the man, the myth, the legend, the man who even Fonzie calls cool, Russell Jackson, is a big time hit! You like us! You really like us! So good times are running rampant here at "TSM". And I haven't even had to get drunk yet. Well, not much anyhow.
And to celebrate all the good times and glee, I'm going to act like a gay teenager and shout out the biggest catch-phrase of the seventies, "DYN-O-MITE!"...lol. Whew! I'm glad I got that out of my system. Now let's move on to today's column. I watched TNA Impact Wrestling last night. Yeah, I know. It was hard for me too. But I wanted to be fair and opened minded towards the Orlando-based company. I give them a hard time as compared to the WWE because basically, despite having all that great talent on the roster, when compared to the WWE, TNA sucks!
But I am nothing if not fair. Every so often, I try to watch and listen and learn and check in to see if things are getting any better. I did that last night and I have to admit that despite some goofiness and slight head scratching on my part, it was a good show. Lots of wrestling and the backstage segments actually made sense (for a change). So in honor of what I hope will be a regular thing, I've decided that for my first column of 2012 (aside from the "Fact or Fiction" column we posted earlier today and my political blogs), it's going to be all TNA. I may make an occasional smart-ass remark in regards to the WWE along the way, as I'm prone to do, but it's all about TNA today and making the biggest Impact!
So what's on the agenda? I want to do a cliffnote version review of TNA Impact Wrestling from last night on Spike TV. I've got predictions for the big pay per view coming up on Sunday night, TNA Genesis. I've got a new "Casting Call" segment with the superstars of TNA Impact Wrestling being cast as the power players in U.S. Politics as the persons seeking the Republican Nomination for President of the United States. And I've got a few thoughts and comments about a rumor making it's way around the wrestling world about a possible big name departure. This column is more packed than Charlie Sheen's nose on a weekend binge. Let's do this...
RVD Leaving???
The rumors have started to fly that former WWE, TNA and ECW Champion Rob Van Dam, who's contract with TNA expires in March, is giving serious consideration about jumping ship to the WWE. And my thoughts on the matter are so what? He hasn't been a factor or force in TNA for quite a while and I even noted a few months ago after watching a match between RVD and Christopher Daniels that RVD just seems be going through the motions as of late. The matches he's been having aren't bad at all, but there just doesn't seem to be any enthusiasm by RVD. And that's not a good thing at all. If RVD is just there to collect a paycheck, TNA really doesn't need him. There are several younger and fresher talents, like Zema Ion, Jesse Sorenson, Austin Aries, etc., who are more than ready to step up and take that spot.
And at this point, the WWE might be where RVD needs to be. One of his best friends in the business, Booker T, has already made a successful return to the company and you know that the WWE would love to have Rob back. I'm sure that a schedule to accomodate Rob, much like has been done with Chris Jericho and Kevin Nash, wouldn't be hard to work out to everyone's benefit and the WWE might be the right place to light the fire back up for Van Dam. It's hard to stay motivated when nobody ever see's you wrestle, but in the WWE, RVD would be a special attraction and no matter his spot on the roster, people would stand up and take notice.
I don't know if the rumors are true and if RVD is even seriously considering another WWE run, but for money, for recognition, and for high-profile matches where he really strut his stuff and show why he's considered to be one of the best in the world, the WWE is the place he needs to be. Just picture in your mind a feud with RVD versus CM Punk? Mr. 4:20 taking on Mr. Straight Edge. Just the promos alone would be major $$$$. Not to mention feuds with Jericho, Cena (if Cena wins, we riot), Wade Barrett, Sheamus, The Miz, etc. And if none of that works, tag teaming with Booker T, Kofi Kingston or Zack Ryder. The WWE is the place for RVD where the most opportunities are available and I hope he keeps all of that in mind. Let's lose the "by the numbers" RVD that's been hanging out in Orlando and let's bring back the "Whole F'ng Show" that we all remember so well. And that means a return to the WWE later this year. I hope it happens.
The Cliffnote Review: TNA Impact Wrestling!
As I mentioned earlier, I watched TNA Impact Wrestling last night on Spike TV. Time for a recap of all the action and excitement.
Sting calls out Jeff Hardy and shows some bromance. Bobby Roode, Bully Ray and Mr. Olympic Gold Medal object. James Storm and Abyss come out. Abyss drinks a beer. Sting makes a six man main event. Madison Rayne rough-houses in the pool with Traci Brooks. Gail Kim too and they do some dunking. The Knockouts wrestle for the tag title. Gail and Madison show dee-feet to Madison and Mickie. Ric Flair inspires Gunner by plotting RVDicide. Sting ruins their fun because Flair has to stay in the back. Gunner threatens destruction. Eric Young is in love with ODB. Why? Magnus & Samoa Joe are best buds. So are AJ Styles and Kazarian. Sting likes Garrett Bischoff and gives him boots. "You a 'rassler now, Eric!". Gunner and RVD fight. RVD gets caught in ring apron. Ouch! Gunner tries for murder. We get Al(vin),Simon (Diamond) and Theodore (as portrayed by D-Lo) down to break up things. Double-count out and no one died. Storm, Hardy and Abyss aren't scared of anything. Kurt, Roode and Bully Ray threaten mayhem. Ray plugs house show and threatens to smoke RVD. Kid Kash and Austin Aries are solid team, but lose to "Football Hero" Jesse Sorenson and "Cough Syrup Tasting Malty Beverage" Zema Ion. I like Ion. He's cocky! AJ and Kazarian are headed towards the ring. We see a "Fallen Angel!" Eric Young and ODB make out. That's nasty! Joe and Magnus are headed towards the tag titles after Kazarian's fallen guardian angel makes an appearance and AJ gets distracted and killed like a bitch by Samoa Joe. A brawl as the tag champs and the new contenders face off. The main event six man fiasco takes place and the bad guys dominate in the end after the match is thrown out by the referee. And the shows ends as we're reminded about the pay per view on Sunday and TNA Genesis.
And that's how a recap should be. Quick, precise and to the point. I love doing this stuff. Let's move on. What's next?
TNA Casting Call: The TNA Superstars As The GOP Presidential Contenders...
I'm not sure how many wrestling fans are following the political scene in the U.S. with the numerous men and women fighting it out to be the nominee for the Republican Party and be able to compete against U.S. President Barack Obama in November of next year, but it's something I am following very, very closely. I love politics (almost as much as I love wrestling) and have actually done several blogs about the candidiates and their standing in the current race. (These blogs can be read at my blogsite, the home of all things Dougie, at www.tsfiction.blogspot.com, if you're interested. Well, I've decided to combine my two passions and do a quick casting call piece. Let's just assume that a movie was being made about the 2012 Republican Party and the people who would be President (and) let's assume that TNA was given the option to cast all of the major roles with TNA Superstars. Who would be cast in each role? That's what I'm here to determine. By the way, the opinions expressed here are mine and mine alone and not the opinions of Wrestle-Zone UK or anyone else so if anyone takes offense at my somewhat jaded comments, blame me. Just saying. So let's do this...
Mitt Romney - Sting: There is a resemblence between the two. Both are tall and slim with chiseled looks and both have an aura of authority. Both look like leaders. But unfortunately, that's where the resemblence ends. Sting has charisma and energy while Mitt looks like a poster child for... well, he just looks like a poster. BORING! Sting could tone it down a bit and play the role of the former MA Governor though. It's showtime folks!
Rick Perry - Eric Young: The only reason I picked Eric to play the Texas Governor is that they're both crazy as bat-poop. And I personally think they're both gay too, not that it matters to me. Hell, I wish they were. It might even give me a reason to like either of them then.
Ron Paul - Ric Flair: Two crazy old men with fanatical followings that I have a lot of respect for, but the thought of either of them in actual power scares the hell out of me.
Michele Bachmann - Madison Rayne: Bachmann is a terrible speaker with a whining voice that rips through your ears and sends tremors down the spine (and not in a good way). Rayne has that "whine" down pat and despite being incredibly sexy, is also very annoying. A perfect fit.
Newt Gingrich - Eric Bischoff: Let me clarify here that I actually like Newt and think that, along with Jon Huntsman, he's probably the man who would make the best President for our country. But just because I like him doesn't mean that he gets spared. To play the role of the former Speaker Of The House, I wanted someone with a long history, a bit of a mean streak, a long list of accomplishments that seem to get overshadowed by the personal baggage and arrogance that they seem to constantly put forth. And since I couldn't find anyone with a physical resemblence to the former Speaker (the Stay-Puff Marshmellow Man wasn't available), I decided to go with the man with the most similar background and history. And no one else in TNA has a history closer to Newt's than Eric Bischoff.
Rick Santorum - Jesse Sorenson: They both look to be about fifteen years old so that's why I picked Sorenson. Strictly on the physical resemblance because I seriously doubt that Sorenson is as bigoted, racist, homophobic or hypocritical as the former PA Senator. Few people can be.
Jon Huntsman - Jeff Jarrett: I picked Double-J to portray the former Utah Governor and former Ambassador to China simply because it's not fair to do a TNA "Casting Call" without using Jeff Jarrett and also because they're both family people who are often overlooked and underestimated by their detractors, no matter how unfair or wrong it may be.
Sarah Palin - Dafney: She's not running for anything, but people still talk about this brain-dead, former beauty queen. So I decided to include her and who would be better to portray her than Shannon Ward aka "Daffney", aka "The Governor". She did it before and would be the definite first choice to do it again.
Chris Christie - Samoa Joe: They're both big, huge men with attitude and nobody in their right mind will screw with them. Put Joe in a suit and he could look like a native New Jersey resident. Yeah, sure he can. But I couldn't think of any other TNA star that has the size and stature to portray the New Jersey Governor. And besides, Joe kills bitches dead! 'Nuff said!
So there you go. If TNA ever decides to get into the movie business and makes a movie about the 2012 political scene here in the U.S. and more specifically, the race for the Republican Nomination for Candidiate for President of the United States, that's who should be cast for each major role. I have spoken so make it so. Let's move on.
TNA Genesis Pay Per View Predictions
Coming up on Sunday night is the lastest pay per view offering by the fine folks of Total Non-Stop Action Impact Wrestling. And a pay per view means predictions. So I'll put on my "Sister Cleo" outfit and break out the crystal ball. Let's do this...
TNA World Championship Match
Bobby Roode (c) versus Jeff Hardy
Jef Hardy does not belong in the main event of this pay per view and definitely does not deserve to be the World Champion. I'm all about second chances and by all reports, Jeff is walking the line and staying on the straight and narrow, but he screwed up big time and he has to pay his dues and earn his spot back at the top of the TNA roster. So far, he's on the right track, but he still has a ways to go in my opinion. Plus, so far it doesn't seem to me that Roode has really had a chance to prove himself and make his impact as the TNA Champion. I think that Roode retains after a grueling match and this feud continues for several more months to come.
Winner and STILL TNA Impact World Champion: Bobby Roode
Kurt Angle versus James Storm
This one should be pretty good and could easily go either way without either man being hurt by a loss. I think that Storm has the momentum (and Angle has to take some time off to try out for the Olympics - just ask him. He'll tell you!) Storm needs to get away from this Angle feud and back into the World Championship picture. I think he'll take the win here and Kurt Angle will be hearing those famous words, "Sorry about your damn luck!"
Winner: "The Cowboy" James Storm
TNA World Tag Team Championship Match
Matt Morgan & Crimson (c) versus Samoa Joe & Magnus
New team with their first shot at the tag titles? I think this feud with four of TNA's bigget guys has some legs on it and is going to last a while. So no title change yet. It'll happen, but not in the first defense.
Winners and STILL Champions: Matt Morgan & Crimson
Pope Dinero versus Devon
Devon is the good guy. He wants to get his kids back. The kids like the Pope better. They turn on daddy and this feud that no one cares about continues.
Winner: Pope Dinero
Monster's Ball Match - If Abyss Loses, He Must Rejoin Immortal
Bully Ray versus Abyss
Immortal is falling apart and since Hogan / Bischoff have vanished, have really lost their luster and magic. I think the empire continues to crumble as the recruitment effort fails and Bully Ray takes a big time bully-beatodwn at the hands of the monster.
Winner: Abyss
TNA X-Division Championship Match
Austin Aries versus Kid Kash versus Jesse Sorensen versus Zema Ion
I'd love to see Ion win. That kid impresses me a great deal (and he's a sexy beast too!) Kash would be great to see win as well because it would totally reverse the logistics of the Kash - Aries relationship and could make for some great TV. Aries is doing an awesome job as the TNA X-Divsion Champion. The only one I can not seeing an upside to having win the title at this point and time is Sorensen. So naturally, that means he wins by pinning Cash. And Aries is NOT a happy camper.
Winner and NEW TNA X-Division Champion: Jesse Sorensen
TNA Knockouts Championship Match
Gail Kim (c) versus Mickie James
Gail wins and Mickie eats de'feet! 'Nuff said!
Winner and STILL TNA Knockouts Champion: Gail Kim
Gunner (with Ric Flair) versus Rob Van Dam
RVD is ready to leave TNA and move on with his career elsewhere (in my opinion anyhow). Gunner is the resident hot child in the city and I think will be moving soon into a feud with Garrett Bischoff. So expect RVD to fly around a while, expect Flair to style, profile and be a crazy man. Expect some Garrett interference. And expect Gunner to be the man to walk out with his arm raised in victory.
Winner: Gunner
And there you go. It should be a good show with plenty of action if this past week's episode of Impact was any indication. So check it out on Sunday night. It should be fun.
And I guess that's all for today. I had a few more things I wanted to get in here, but time is a thief and seems to have vanished into the night, so I'll let the other stuff slide until my next urge to ramble, rant and rock the Kazbah! Questions and comments can be sent to Doug28352@yahoo.com. And for all things Dougie, go visit my blogsite at www.tsfiction.blogspot.com.
Until the next time, stay safe. 'Dat is all de' people need to know. I'm Doug and I am out of here.
Ubuntu!
Friday, January 6, 2012
Wrestling Fact Or Fiction - January 6, 2012
Tossing Salt Presents: Wrestling Fact Or Fiction
January 6, 2012
Doug Maynard
It's now 2012 and here we are back again with a new beginning, a new prospective, a new dawn on the horizon and lots more of the same old stuff. I'm your Sensi of Spices, Doug and I really do hate grapefruit (damn diet!). I'm joined as always by my tag team partner in mischief and shenanigans, the man who makes Shaft go "shut yo' mouth - you damn right", the indomitable Mr. Russell Jackson and this is "Wrestling Fact or Fiction". We're the pro wrestling pundits who style, profile, walk that aisle, bleed, sweat and pay the price to make sure you get the full insight into everything that is the "King of Sports". Damn, that sounds impressive. I just hope we can live up to the hype. Let's do this and JBL, the "wrestling god", have mercy upon our very souls. All questions are either WWE or TNA related and were sent out on Tuesday morning.
WWE has totally dropped the ball with Brodus Clay?
Doug - FACT: They do a series of videos saying "Coming soon!" and then they just dropped it. And then they promote his re-debut again and again. And it never happens. And finally, it's all settled and Clay will make his return on this past Monday night. Did it happen? Nope! I'm not sure where the WWE is attempting to go with Clay. Are they stretching it out to make Clay's debut more of an impact and shock when it finally happens? Will Clay be Johnny Ace's secret weapon against CM Punk? Is the WWE Creative team just inept and forgettful? Whatever the reason, they've really screwed up and made what could be an exciting and much-anticipated moment into just an after-thought that most people have already lost interest in.
Russell - FACT: Week in, week out - we've been getting the same crap from WWE: "Brodus Clay will debut next week on Monday Night Raw and then when Raw gets on TV, Brodus Clay is nowhere to be found. If WWE wants to debut a wrestler on either Raw or Smackdown, they need to come up with a specific date on showcasing that wrestler instead of giving out false advertisements week after week.
Dolph Ziggler will be the next WWE Champion?
Doug - FICTION: I think Ziggler might be a WWE or World Champion at some point, but if and when it happens, it won't be anytime soon. I fully expect CM Punk to keep the WWE Championship firmly in his grasp at least until after Wrestlemania.
Russell - FICTION: Maybe later on in the year after WrestleMania XXVIII, but I don't see it happening before then. Right now, he needs to be groomed more than he is already. Personally, he needs to be showcased better than the "Show Off" persona he's been doing. To me, he's nothing more than a nuisance behind the camera, and with the loud mouth Vicki Guererro beside him screaming out "EXCUSE ME, EXCUSE ME" every chance she gets behind a microphone, it's nothing but a waste of air time on any show he's on.
Chris Jericho was awesome in his return to the WWE?
Doug - FACT: At first I was going to say Fiction because I was annoyed. Several months of teasing and all Jericho does is milk the crowd response and leaves without a word. What the...?? But then, I got it. Jericho is a heel and the fact that he managed to get under my skin without ever saying a word shows that he's doing his job well. The thing about Jericho is that he constantly reinvents himself, in small but effective manners. He came out and rather than do what everyone does and cut a promo, he milked the crowd, got a slight bit overbearing towards the end as it ran way too long, and left the people wanting more, but confused to exactly what was going on. That means they'll come back to figure out what Jericho's game is. Classic Jericho as only he can do it.
Russell - FACT: I was first gonna say Fiction to this question after watching Raw on Monday night. When I first saw him come out, I was excited as we haven't seen "Y2J" in the WWE in quite some time. Then when the fans started booing him after going nuts when he first came out & him not saying anything the whole time he was out in/around the ring, even I began to think that his return was a big waste of time. But after thinking about it a couple of days after the "Big" return on Raw & the cryptic videos that aired on both Raw & Smackdown several weeks prior to his return to Raw on Monday night, I feel that it's a perfect return for Jericho not saying a word. Maybe Jericho has a valet coming to share the light on what Jericho is gonna be doing while he's in the WWE this time around? Or maybe it's another psychological edge that Jericho has perfected yet again? Hopefully we'll find that out soon.
Booker T will end up reuniting with his brother, Stevie Ray and reforming Harlem Heat in a feud against Cody and Dustin (The Rhodes Brothers)?
Doug - FICTION: This question came about as a result of a conversation between Booker and Michael Cole at the announce table on Smackdown last week. And I would love to see it happen. I've always been a big Harlem Heat fan. But Stevie, although he helps Booker run his wrestling school, hasn't had a real match in over ten years and was slowing down during the last couple of years in WCW. I dont think we could bring Stevie Ray in and legitimately expect to see any kind of decent in-ring work. So while it would be a fun nostalgia event, it wouldn't be a good match and I can't see WWE doing it. It looks more like the Booker - Cody feud will be winding down soon and things will start working more towards a possible Cody - Goldust match at Wrestlemania 28.
Russell - FICTION: Even though it would be exciting for Booker T. to reunite with Stevie Ray & reform Harlem Heat to battle Cody & Dustin Rhodes on Smackdown, I don't think it's gonna happen. Booker T is winding down his wrestling career and as much as I hate to say it, to persue a career as a wrestling announcer (Booker T. sucks as a wrestling announcer). From the wrestling news I've been reading, it appears that Dustin Rhodes wants a match against his brother Cody for the I.C. Championship at WrestleMania XXVIII in Miami, FL and from the angle between Dustin & Cody Rhodes that happened on Smackdown last week, there may be a feud starting up between them. I don't look for either tag team (Harlem Heat & The Rhodes Brothers) to end up forming & battling with the other.
Brock Lesnar will end up returning to the WWE before Wrestlemania 28?
Doug - FICTION: He'll be back in the WWE eventually and probably before next year's Wrestlemania, but for now, Brock is still under contract to the UFC and despite his recent retirement, owner Dana White is still paying his salary and has final say in what Brock can and can't do. In order to secure the services of Lesnar, Vince and the WWE would have to buy out his contract from the UFC as well as negotiate a new contract for Brock with the WWE and right now, the WWE has too much going on with the launch of the new WWE Network coming up to worry about things like that. Brock isn't a top priority, especially with the memory of his first-round loss this past weekend so fresh in everyone's memory. Give it a year to let the memories fade and then we'll see Brock make his return.
Russell - FICTION: That would be a sweet deal for Brock Lesnar to return to the WWE after his sudden announcement of retiring from the UFC at UFC 141 on December 30, 2011, but I don't think it will be before WrestleMania XXVIII. From all accounts, "The Next Big Thing" doesn't like the cruel travel schedule that pertains to the WWE. If anythiny, he may show up at a one event deal with the WWE, but as for him returning to the WWE, especially before WrestleMania XXVIII, I don't see it happening.
<<----- SWITCHEROO ----->
The absence of Randy Orton from Smackdown will hurt the ratings?
Russell - FICTION: Even though Randy Orton has been sidelined for a few weeks following the injury angle at the hands of Wade Barrett, I don't think it will hurt the Smackdown ratings at all. WWE has Sheamus to fill in for Randy Orton to battle the "Barrett Barrage" & Sheamus has been on a hot streak as of late. Taking care of Barrett will be no problem for him. Smackdown will be fine. No problemo!
Doug - FICTION: The ratings for Smackdown will stay roughly the same and it will remain the #1 show on the SyFy Network, plus this gives wrestlers such as Sheamus, Cody Rhodes, Justin Gabriel, Wade Barrett and so many others a chance to step up and show what they can do in the main event spot. The star is temporarily out of action, but there are plenty of under-study's ready to step up and take over for a while. This is their chance.
Zack Ryder is ready for main event level matches?
Russell - FACT: With the recent "Big" win at WWE TLC PPV in capturing the United States Championship from Dolph (yawn) Ziggler, I think that Zack Ryder is ready for main event level matches. What WWE needs to do is get him away from John Cena and from the Cena/Kane feud, as it's only gonna pull Ryder down. Let the "WWWYKI King" go out on his own, have his own feuds to deal with and have him to be worthy of holding the United States Championship. He busted his ass last year in getting where he's at now. Why not keep him on his own, letting him have his own feuds instead of being paired with Cena, being John Cena's guinea pig against Kane? Makes no sense to me what-so-FREAKIN-ever!
Doug - FICTION: I hate to say this because I like Zack. He's got a fun and entertaining character and he's really busted his ass to get where he is in the WWE with no help from anyone in WWE Creative or WWE Management. But that being said, as entertaining as Ryder is, he kind of sucks in the ring. Ryder hits the moves and can put on an okay match, but it's all kind of painting by the numbers with Zack. He's a product of the WWE system and I just don't see anything exciting or original when he's in the ring. It's the weak point of his character. Look at CM Punk or Daniel Bryan. Those two are wrestlers and can change things up and modify their moves in the ring to compensate for whatever is going on. Zack hasn't gotten to that point yet. His moves are predictable and the matches are just kind of boring. When I looked at RAW a few weeks ago, where Ryder teamed with Punk and Bryan to celebrate their title wins, my mind just kept screaming that he didn't belong or fit in. Ryder is on the right track, but his in-ring work still has a way to go to catch up with his character development. He's ready for the mid-card and (yes) the United States Championship. But for the main events of RAW, Smackdown and house shows? He's not there yet?
The idea of a Big Show versus Shaquille O'Neal match for Wrestlemania interests you?
Russell - FICTION: There's been a few WrestleMania matches that had Big Show take on a celebrity in a gimmick match that had no business being on a WrestleMania card or any PPV card for that matter. Have Big Show go into a legitmate feud with any of WWE's Champions. Have Big Show face a champion at WrestleMania, any kind of champion for that matter, with the championship on the line. Have Big Show win the championship and have Big Show be a champion for however long Big Show wants to stay as the champion. Is that too much to ask for? The idea of a Big Show vs Shaquille O'Neal match for WrestleMania XXVIII is yet a waste of time on "The Grandest Stage of Them ALL", a waste of time for Shaq and a BIG waste of time for The Big Show.
Doug - FICTION: We've already got Dwayne "The Rock" Johnson at this year's Wrestlemania. We don't need anymore celebrities. Let Show wrestle in a real match against a real wrestler and let Shaq stay home where he belongs.
WWE should bring back old announcers from the past (Tony Schiavone, Joey Styles, Scott Hudson, Larry Zbyszko) to host and moderate programs for the WWE Network?
Russell - FACT: I think it would be a good idea to bring back old announcers like Tony Schiavone, Joey Styles or Larry Zbyszko to host & moderate programs for the WWE Network. Joey Styles for the ECW Shows and both Tony Schiavone & Larry Zbyszko for the WCW/NWA Shows and even Jim Ross for the NWA/WCW circa...would be a no brainer situation there. Wait! We ARE talkin about the WWE here. Nevermind! *slaps hand over forehead*
Doug - FACT: If part of the WWE Network programming is to be shows from the territories and past, like Georgia Championship Wrestling, Mid-Atlantic Championship Wrestling, the AWA and WCW, then it only makes sense to have the people who were there at the time and know the shows better than anyone along as part of the package to host and introduce the shows. Plus, it gives the WWE a bigger roster of announcers to turn to in case of an emergency. If the wrestler in the ring has an ECW past, let Joey Styles come in and do a guest spot at the commentary table. If it's a wrestler with ties to WCW, Tony Schiavone or Scott Hudson could be brought in. If something happens with AWA ties, Diamond Dallas Page can be brought in. If Jerry Lawler or Booker T have a match, let Zbyszko or Dusty Rhodes come in and provide color commentary. Getting these faces from the past would add a great nostalgia factor to the WWE Network, as well as really open the doors to so many different options in how to present the programs and different events on the new network.
You are interested in TNA's "India Project" (Ring Ka King)?
Russell - FICTION: Why would I be interested in TNA's "India Project" when I'm not even interested in their own product? That's the $50,000 question right there. I've at least read a Ring Ka King, Ring Da Ding, whatever it's called & it doesn't interest me one bit. I'd rather watch a golf program on TV & that's like watching flies doin the "horizontal mambo", no interest what-so-FREAKIN-ever! Here's an idea right off the bat... how bout TNA worrying about how to provide better shows for their TNA Impact programs instead of doing an "India Project" that's going to wither away like a bad fart, before the whole TNA organization withers away with it? Makes sense to me.
Doug - FACT: Look at the talent roster associated with this project by Jeff Jarrett and the TNA powers-that-be. You have Luke Gallows, Nunzio, Chavo Guerrero, Chris Masters, Sonjay Dutt, Shawn Daivari and so many other names. TNA snapped up what seems to be every major piece of talent in North America that wasn't already under contract to the WWE or ROH and have staged a major invasion of the 4th largest nation in the world, India. Maybe it's 5th? I'm not sure, but it's big and there's a large population and money to be made and TNA is going after it. The few reports I've read about the TV tapings for this group is that the action has been good and the crowds have been amazing with a level of excitement and heat not seen anywhere since the early 80's. This is a great move for TNA to grow into a truly international company and expand their fanbase. And I just hope that eventually, we get a chance to see these shows here in the U.S.
***Bonus Question***
You're excited about the return of David Lee Roth as the frontman for Van Halen in their upcoming tour?
Russell - FACT: David Lee Roth returning to Van Halen as the frontman in their upcoming tour, not to mention putting out a new album that's been way, way, WWWWAAAAAAYYYYYYYYYY overdue?... That makes me pretty damn happy right there! :-)
Doug - FICTION: While I like the music of Van Halen in their early years, I am definitely more of a Sammy Hagar fan than a fan of David Lee Roth's. Roth is a showman to be sure, but Hagar is a showman AND a great singer. And that makes a big difference (although both men were better for Van Halen than Gary Cherone, who has an amazing voice, but not much charisma.) This will probably be a fun tour and if any new album comes from it, it'll be good music. But without Sammy Hagar as the singer and definitely without Michael Anthony playing bass and in the line-up, it's not Van Halen, at least not in my eyes and given the way that the Van Halen Brothers have treated their former associates, I could really care less.
So we went 8 - 3 this time around. Not too bad. Not too bad at all. But will we ever get that perfect score? Only time will tell so I guess we have to keep on keeping on and see what happens.
And that's it for this week. Questions, comments, thoughts, dirty jokes and anything else can be sent to Doug28352@yahoo.com. Let us know what you think. And if you'd like to be a part of this weekly wackiness, just drop me a line and you too can join Russell and myself in our weekly analysis of the word's greatest sport. Once again, I'd lke to thank the Clown-Prince of Coolness, Russell Jackson for helping me out and being the most awesome of the awesome. It is very much appreciated. And I also want to thank Paps and Gary for allowing us to write this stuff and giving both this column and my own personal column, "Tossing Salt - Worldwide News" a home at the UK's # 1 Wrestling Site, Wrestle-Zone.UK. And most importantly, I want to thank you, the readers, for everything. If you didn't read this stuff, we wouldn't have any reason to write it and then our minds would turn into green jello from lack of creative expression. And the world already has enough Kardashian's. So thank you.
And that's it for now. I'm Doug and I'll be back in the next day or so with a new edition of my column, "Tossing Salt". Be sure to look for it or else I'll bedazzle all the new sweaters you bought for your pet pug (and he hates those sweaters. He really, really does!) Have a great day and always be a fan. Thank you Russell.
Ubuntu!
January 6, 2012
Doug Maynard
It's now 2012 and here we are back again with a new beginning, a new prospective, a new dawn on the horizon and lots more of the same old stuff. I'm your Sensi of Spices, Doug and I really do hate grapefruit (damn diet!). I'm joined as always by my tag team partner in mischief and shenanigans, the man who makes Shaft go "shut yo' mouth - you damn right", the indomitable Mr. Russell Jackson and this is "Wrestling Fact or Fiction". We're the pro wrestling pundits who style, profile, walk that aisle, bleed, sweat and pay the price to make sure you get the full insight into everything that is the "King of Sports". Damn, that sounds impressive. I just hope we can live up to the hype. Let's do this and JBL, the "wrestling god", have mercy upon our very souls. All questions are either WWE or TNA related and were sent out on Tuesday morning.
WWE has totally dropped the ball with Brodus Clay?
Doug - FACT: They do a series of videos saying "Coming soon!" and then they just dropped it. And then they promote his re-debut again and again. And it never happens. And finally, it's all settled and Clay will make his return on this past Monday night. Did it happen? Nope! I'm not sure where the WWE is attempting to go with Clay. Are they stretching it out to make Clay's debut more of an impact and shock when it finally happens? Will Clay be Johnny Ace's secret weapon against CM Punk? Is the WWE Creative team just inept and forgettful? Whatever the reason, they've really screwed up and made what could be an exciting and much-anticipated moment into just an after-thought that most people have already lost interest in.
Russell - FACT: Week in, week out - we've been getting the same crap from WWE: "Brodus Clay will debut next week on Monday Night Raw and then when Raw gets on TV, Brodus Clay is nowhere to be found. If WWE wants to debut a wrestler on either Raw or Smackdown, they need to come up with a specific date on showcasing that wrestler instead of giving out false advertisements week after week.
Dolph Ziggler will be the next WWE Champion?
Doug - FICTION: I think Ziggler might be a WWE or World Champion at some point, but if and when it happens, it won't be anytime soon. I fully expect CM Punk to keep the WWE Championship firmly in his grasp at least until after Wrestlemania.
Russell - FICTION: Maybe later on in the year after WrestleMania XXVIII, but I don't see it happening before then. Right now, he needs to be groomed more than he is already. Personally, he needs to be showcased better than the "Show Off" persona he's been doing. To me, he's nothing more than a nuisance behind the camera, and with the loud mouth Vicki Guererro beside him screaming out "EXCUSE ME, EXCUSE ME" every chance she gets behind a microphone, it's nothing but a waste of air time on any show he's on.
Chris Jericho was awesome in his return to the WWE?
Doug - FACT: At first I was going to say Fiction because I was annoyed. Several months of teasing and all Jericho does is milk the crowd response and leaves without a word. What the...?? But then, I got it. Jericho is a heel and the fact that he managed to get under my skin without ever saying a word shows that he's doing his job well. The thing about Jericho is that he constantly reinvents himself, in small but effective manners. He came out and rather than do what everyone does and cut a promo, he milked the crowd, got a slight bit overbearing towards the end as it ran way too long, and left the people wanting more, but confused to exactly what was going on. That means they'll come back to figure out what Jericho's game is. Classic Jericho as only he can do it.
Russell - FACT: I was first gonna say Fiction to this question after watching Raw on Monday night. When I first saw him come out, I was excited as we haven't seen "Y2J" in the WWE in quite some time. Then when the fans started booing him after going nuts when he first came out & him not saying anything the whole time he was out in/around the ring, even I began to think that his return was a big waste of time. But after thinking about it a couple of days after the "Big" return on Raw & the cryptic videos that aired on both Raw & Smackdown several weeks prior to his return to Raw on Monday night, I feel that it's a perfect return for Jericho not saying a word. Maybe Jericho has a valet coming to share the light on what Jericho is gonna be doing while he's in the WWE this time around? Or maybe it's another psychological edge that Jericho has perfected yet again? Hopefully we'll find that out soon.
Booker T will end up reuniting with his brother, Stevie Ray and reforming Harlem Heat in a feud against Cody and Dustin (The Rhodes Brothers)?
Doug - FICTION: This question came about as a result of a conversation between Booker and Michael Cole at the announce table on Smackdown last week. And I would love to see it happen. I've always been a big Harlem Heat fan. But Stevie, although he helps Booker run his wrestling school, hasn't had a real match in over ten years and was slowing down during the last couple of years in WCW. I dont think we could bring Stevie Ray in and legitimately expect to see any kind of decent in-ring work. So while it would be a fun nostalgia event, it wouldn't be a good match and I can't see WWE doing it. It looks more like the Booker - Cody feud will be winding down soon and things will start working more towards a possible Cody - Goldust match at Wrestlemania 28.
Russell - FICTION: Even though it would be exciting for Booker T. to reunite with Stevie Ray & reform Harlem Heat to battle Cody & Dustin Rhodes on Smackdown, I don't think it's gonna happen. Booker T is winding down his wrestling career and as much as I hate to say it, to persue a career as a wrestling announcer (Booker T. sucks as a wrestling announcer). From the wrestling news I've been reading, it appears that Dustin Rhodes wants a match against his brother Cody for the I.C. Championship at WrestleMania XXVIII in Miami, FL and from the angle between Dustin & Cody Rhodes that happened on Smackdown last week, there may be a feud starting up between them. I don't look for either tag team (Harlem Heat & The Rhodes Brothers) to end up forming & battling with the other.
Brock Lesnar will end up returning to the WWE before Wrestlemania 28?
Doug - FICTION: He'll be back in the WWE eventually and probably before next year's Wrestlemania, but for now, Brock is still under contract to the UFC and despite his recent retirement, owner Dana White is still paying his salary and has final say in what Brock can and can't do. In order to secure the services of Lesnar, Vince and the WWE would have to buy out his contract from the UFC as well as negotiate a new contract for Brock with the WWE and right now, the WWE has too much going on with the launch of the new WWE Network coming up to worry about things like that. Brock isn't a top priority, especially with the memory of his first-round loss this past weekend so fresh in everyone's memory. Give it a year to let the memories fade and then we'll see Brock make his return.
Russell - FICTION: That would be a sweet deal for Brock Lesnar to return to the WWE after his sudden announcement of retiring from the UFC at UFC 141 on December 30, 2011, but I don't think it will be before WrestleMania XXVIII. From all accounts, "The Next Big Thing" doesn't like the cruel travel schedule that pertains to the WWE. If anythiny, he may show up at a one event deal with the WWE, but as for him returning to the WWE, especially before WrestleMania XXVIII, I don't see it happening.
<<----- SWITCHEROO ----->
The absence of Randy Orton from Smackdown will hurt the ratings?
Russell - FICTION: Even though Randy Orton has been sidelined for a few weeks following the injury angle at the hands of Wade Barrett, I don't think it will hurt the Smackdown ratings at all. WWE has Sheamus to fill in for Randy Orton to battle the "Barrett Barrage" & Sheamus has been on a hot streak as of late. Taking care of Barrett will be no problem for him. Smackdown will be fine. No problemo!
Doug - FICTION: The ratings for Smackdown will stay roughly the same and it will remain the #1 show on the SyFy Network, plus this gives wrestlers such as Sheamus, Cody Rhodes, Justin Gabriel, Wade Barrett and so many others a chance to step up and show what they can do in the main event spot. The star is temporarily out of action, but there are plenty of under-study's ready to step up and take over for a while. This is their chance.
Zack Ryder is ready for main event level matches?
Russell - FACT: With the recent "Big" win at WWE TLC PPV in capturing the United States Championship from Dolph (yawn) Ziggler, I think that Zack Ryder is ready for main event level matches. What WWE needs to do is get him away from John Cena and from the Cena/Kane feud, as it's only gonna pull Ryder down. Let the "WWWYKI King" go out on his own, have his own feuds to deal with and have him to be worthy of holding the United States Championship. He busted his ass last year in getting where he's at now. Why not keep him on his own, letting him have his own feuds instead of being paired with Cena, being John Cena's guinea pig against Kane? Makes no sense to me what-so-FREAKIN-ever!
Doug - FICTION: I hate to say this because I like Zack. He's got a fun and entertaining character and he's really busted his ass to get where he is in the WWE with no help from anyone in WWE Creative or WWE Management. But that being said, as entertaining as Ryder is, he kind of sucks in the ring. Ryder hits the moves and can put on an okay match, but it's all kind of painting by the numbers with Zack. He's a product of the WWE system and I just don't see anything exciting or original when he's in the ring. It's the weak point of his character. Look at CM Punk or Daniel Bryan. Those two are wrestlers and can change things up and modify their moves in the ring to compensate for whatever is going on. Zack hasn't gotten to that point yet. His moves are predictable and the matches are just kind of boring. When I looked at RAW a few weeks ago, where Ryder teamed with Punk and Bryan to celebrate their title wins, my mind just kept screaming that he didn't belong or fit in. Ryder is on the right track, but his in-ring work still has a way to go to catch up with his character development. He's ready for the mid-card and (yes) the United States Championship. But for the main events of RAW, Smackdown and house shows? He's not there yet?
The idea of a Big Show versus Shaquille O'Neal match for Wrestlemania interests you?
Russell - FICTION: There's been a few WrestleMania matches that had Big Show take on a celebrity in a gimmick match that had no business being on a WrestleMania card or any PPV card for that matter. Have Big Show go into a legitmate feud with any of WWE's Champions. Have Big Show face a champion at WrestleMania, any kind of champion for that matter, with the championship on the line. Have Big Show win the championship and have Big Show be a champion for however long Big Show wants to stay as the champion. Is that too much to ask for? The idea of a Big Show vs Shaquille O'Neal match for WrestleMania XXVIII is yet a waste of time on "The Grandest Stage of Them ALL", a waste of time for Shaq and a BIG waste of time for The Big Show.
Doug - FICTION: We've already got Dwayne "The Rock" Johnson at this year's Wrestlemania. We don't need anymore celebrities. Let Show wrestle in a real match against a real wrestler and let Shaq stay home where he belongs.
WWE should bring back old announcers from the past (Tony Schiavone, Joey Styles, Scott Hudson, Larry Zbyszko) to host and moderate programs for the WWE Network?
Russell - FACT: I think it would be a good idea to bring back old announcers like Tony Schiavone, Joey Styles or Larry Zbyszko to host & moderate programs for the WWE Network. Joey Styles for the ECW Shows and both Tony Schiavone & Larry Zbyszko for the WCW/NWA Shows and even Jim Ross for the NWA/WCW circa...would be a no brainer situation there. Wait! We ARE talkin about the WWE here. Nevermind! *slaps hand over forehead*
Doug - FACT: If part of the WWE Network programming is to be shows from the territories and past, like Georgia Championship Wrestling, Mid-Atlantic Championship Wrestling, the AWA and WCW, then it only makes sense to have the people who were there at the time and know the shows better than anyone along as part of the package to host and introduce the shows. Plus, it gives the WWE a bigger roster of announcers to turn to in case of an emergency. If the wrestler in the ring has an ECW past, let Joey Styles come in and do a guest spot at the commentary table. If it's a wrestler with ties to WCW, Tony Schiavone or Scott Hudson could be brought in. If something happens with AWA ties, Diamond Dallas Page can be brought in. If Jerry Lawler or Booker T have a match, let Zbyszko or Dusty Rhodes come in and provide color commentary. Getting these faces from the past would add a great nostalgia factor to the WWE Network, as well as really open the doors to so many different options in how to present the programs and different events on the new network.
You are interested in TNA's "India Project" (Ring Ka King)?
Russell - FICTION: Why would I be interested in TNA's "India Project" when I'm not even interested in their own product? That's the $50,000 question right there. I've at least read a Ring Ka King, Ring Da Ding, whatever it's called & it doesn't interest me one bit. I'd rather watch a golf program on TV & that's like watching flies doin the "horizontal mambo", no interest what-so-FREAKIN-ever! Here's an idea right off the bat... how bout TNA worrying about how to provide better shows for their TNA Impact programs instead of doing an "India Project" that's going to wither away like a bad fart, before the whole TNA organization withers away with it? Makes sense to me.
Doug - FACT: Look at the talent roster associated with this project by Jeff Jarrett and the TNA powers-that-be. You have Luke Gallows, Nunzio, Chavo Guerrero, Chris Masters, Sonjay Dutt, Shawn Daivari and so many other names. TNA snapped up what seems to be every major piece of talent in North America that wasn't already under contract to the WWE or ROH and have staged a major invasion of the 4th largest nation in the world, India. Maybe it's 5th? I'm not sure, but it's big and there's a large population and money to be made and TNA is going after it. The few reports I've read about the TV tapings for this group is that the action has been good and the crowds have been amazing with a level of excitement and heat not seen anywhere since the early 80's. This is a great move for TNA to grow into a truly international company and expand their fanbase. And I just hope that eventually, we get a chance to see these shows here in the U.S.
***Bonus Question***
You're excited about the return of David Lee Roth as the frontman for Van Halen in their upcoming tour?
Russell - FACT: David Lee Roth returning to Van Halen as the frontman in their upcoming tour, not to mention putting out a new album that's been way, way, WWWWAAAAAAYYYYYYYYYY overdue?... That makes me pretty damn happy right there! :-)
Doug - FICTION: While I like the music of Van Halen in their early years, I am definitely more of a Sammy Hagar fan than a fan of David Lee Roth's. Roth is a showman to be sure, but Hagar is a showman AND a great singer. And that makes a big difference (although both men were better for Van Halen than Gary Cherone, who has an amazing voice, but not much charisma.) This will probably be a fun tour and if any new album comes from it, it'll be good music. But without Sammy Hagar as the singer and definitely without Michael Anthony playing bass and in the line-up, it's not Van Halen, at least not in my eyes and given the way that the Van Halen Brothers have treated their former associates, I could really care less.
So we went 8 - 3 this time around. Not too bad. Not too bad at all. But will we ever get that perfect score? Only time will tell so I guess we have to keep on keeping on and see what happens.
And that's it for this week. Questions, comments, thoughts, dirty jokes and anything else can be sent to Doug28352@yahoo.com. Let us know what you think. And if you'd like to be a part of this weekly wackiness, just drop me a line and you too can join Russell and myself in our weekly analysis of the word's greatest sport. Once again, I'd lke to thank the Clown-Prince of Coolness, Russell Jackson for helping me out and being the most awesome of the awesome. It is very much appreciated. And I also want to thank Paps and Gary for allowing us to write this stuff and giving both this column and my own personal column, "Tossing Salt - Worldwide News" a home at the UK's # 1 Wrestling Site, Wrestle-Zone.UK. And most importantly, I want to thank you, the readers, for everything. If you didn't read this stuff, we wouldn't have any reason to write it and then our minds would turn into green jello from lack of creative expression. And the world already has enough Kardashian's. So thank you.
And that's it for now. I'm Doug and I'll be back in the next day or so with a new edition of my column, "Tossing Salt". Be sure to look for it or else I'll bedazzle all the new sweaters you bought for your pet pug (and he hates those sweaters. He really, really does!) Have a great day and always be a fan. Thank you Russell.
Ubuntu!
Wednesday, January 4, 2012
How To Pick A Candidiate (Chuck Norris Style) - January 4, 2012
Chuck Norris has spoken! He's written a blog with his opinion of what a person needs to consider when deciding who should be their selection for Presidential candidiate. It's a great read and you can (and should) read it here: http://newsbusters.org/blogs/chuck-norris/2012/01/03/ten-questions-find-our-next-president-part-1. (If the link doesn't work, just cut and paste in the browser and go read what the man himself has to say.)
And now, as is my nature, I've decided to take his questions and put my mind to work answering them, as best I can anyhow. Mr.Norris (notice how I call him "Mister" so he doesn't come here and kick my ass!) doesn't specify any particular candidiate with these quesitons, but speaks in more of a general manner. I'm going to get a bit more specific with my answers. And I'll probably ramble quite a bit too. And make plenty of dick and fart jokes because I'm a guy and that's what guys do. Let's take a look at the questions that Mr. Norris puts forth and each one is followed by my thoughts and ponderings about each question.
By the way, this is Part One. Mr. Norris only posted five of his ten questions with the rest to be posted at a later date. If I remember to read the next blog (and if this blog gets plenty of views, comments and kudos), I'll follow up with Part Two just as soon as I can. Or I might just go get drunk and forget all about it. Who knows? Let's get on with this. Here are the questions that "The Baddest Man On The Planet" says that we should consider when picking which Presidential candidiate to support.
10) Who is most committed to follow and lead by the U.S. Constitution?
Of the six remaining contenders for the Republican nomination, the answer to this question is pretty simple and that's Congressman Ron Paul. Every question he's asked in answered by referring to the U.S. Constitution. But let's be honest here. I like Ron Paul and on economic and fiscal matters, he's definitely the man with the best ideas. But with that being said, he's not going to be the next President or even the Republican nominee. His foreign policies are just too freakin' crazy! It's that simple. So if not Paul, then who?
Former Speaker of the House Newt Gingrich comes to mind as the best possible answer. He's a historian and teaches about the Constitution and U.S. History and has a knowledge of constitutional law second to none. Maybe Newt isn't the most popular guy in the room, but he's easily the smartest and knows what he's talking about. He's a leader (as proven by his time as Speaker) and he knows how to get things done, according to the laws allowed by our Constitution. And of the current field, of the candidiates who one can actually see as having a chance to be the next President, Newt is the one who's views, opinions and actions best answer this very important question.
9) Who has the greatest ability to rally, unify and mobilize citizens across political and societal spectrums?
Again, the easiest answer to this question is Ron Paul. Nobody has the ground work and organization that can match Paul's and his supporters run all across all genres, races, ages, religions, genders and orientations. BUT as I said before, I don't think Paul has a Smurf's chance in a cat house of winning the nomination and facing President Obama in November. After him, my pick would be Jon Huntsman. Mitt Romney has a great base built up, but it's not growing because of love or support for Mitt, but because the Republican's are settling for the most likely candidiate instead of the best one. I really don't see any of that fanatical support out there for any candidiate currently in the running, but Huntsman just strikes me as the one with the most mainstream appeal. He's got appeal for Republicans, Democrats and Independents and matched up against Obama, is easily, at least in my eyes, the most appealing candidiate with the best chance of winning. He needs more money and to get his name out there more to stand any kind of chance, but he's my pick for answering this question.
8) Who has the best working comprehension of America?
This one is very hard to answer because I don't think that any of the politicians or persons currently running for President live in the real world. I think that as power accumulates and their "celebrity" grows, the world that most politicians live in becomes a land of pixies, unicorns and Fraggle Rock. They're all rich and have money and "yes-men" and the world we live in, of juggling bills, eating Raman noodles and trying to decide if you should get $10 worth of gas and be safe or get $6 worth of gas and a pack of cigs instead. I'm not saying that they're not smart or knowledgable or have the best interests of others in mind, but do they even know what the "common man" thinks about and has to deal with? I doubt it.
To figure out who would best know what America is all about and how the "real people" live and what effects them most, I think it would have to be the person or people who are closest to being "real people" themselves and translated, that means "poor". Hell if I really know who would best answer this question and which person running for the GOP Nomination really does have the best comprehension of what life as a working-class American is all about so I'll just go with Santorum. He's a bigot and a homophobe, but he grew up in PA and that has to count for something.
7) Who has the best ability to influence a volatile world away from the brink of destruction?
In other words, who has the best idea of the world picture and the best comprehension of where America needs to be with their foreign policy. This one is easy for me. My answer is Governor Jon Huntman, who has served as an Ambassador on four seperate occasions, most recently in China. He knows the world and while his record on economic and fiscal matters in very impressive (garnered while he was the Governor of Utah), it's dealing with foreign nations and matters of foreign policies where he really seems to shine. If he's not the Republican nominee for President, I can very easily see whoever does become the next President, if it is a Republican, appointing Huntsman as the next Secretary of State. The man knows his stuff, pure and simple. I just hope that we eventually get the chance to benefit from his knowledge and experience.
6) Who has clear and present moral fortitude?
Morals? We're talking about politicians here and despite the morality that they attempt to force upon all of us, very few of them actually are what one would call outstanding members of the community in real life. I know what you're thinking. How do I know this and do I have any proof? I know this because I had a dream and the face of Ronald Reagan on a hamster spoke to me. And I don't need proof because people tend to be screw-ups and people with money and power (like politicians) are the most screwed-up and whacked out of all.
So with all of that in mind, which politician and GOP Presidential hopeful is probably the most honest and morally decent of the bunch? Newt with his three wives, two affairs and money from Fannie and Freddie? Nope! Mitt and his Romneycare? Nope! Perry and his "nigger" rock ranch? Nah! How about Little Ricky and his ideas to repeal any and all same-sex marriages and make contraception illegal? Can't see it. I guess I'll go with Jon Huntsman here too. He's a Morman and we all know that Morman's don't lie. If they do, they have to answer to Donny and Marie. Yeah, he's the most honest of the group, which is like saying that poop stinks. It's still crap regardless.
So there you go. My answers to what Chuck Norris has asked that I look for in a political candidiate before I offer my support. And what do we learn from all of this, my Peeps? That I need to either lay off the drugs or else do more drugs because we don't really have much to choose from. I choose JIF! The remaining five questions from "Walker, Texas Ranger" in a few days (if I remember).
I love doing political blogs. They're so fun! Oh vey!
Ubuntu!
And now, as is my nature, I've decided to take his questions and put my mind to work answering them, as best I can anyhow. Mr.Norris (notice how I call him "Mister" so he doesn't come here and kick my ass!) doesn't specify any particular candidiate with these quesitons, but speaks in more of a general manner. I'm going to get a bit more specific with my answers. And I'll probably ramble quite a bit too. And make plenty of dick and fart jokes because I'm a guy and that's what guys do. Let's take a look at the questions that Mr. Norris puts forth and each one is followed by my thoughts and ponderings about each question.
By the way, this is Part One. Mr. Norris only posted five of his ten questions with the rest to be posted at a later date. If I remember to read the next blog (and if this blog gets plenty of views, comments and kudos), I'll follow up with Part Two just as soon as I can. Or I might just go get drunk and forget all about it. Who knows? Let's get on with this. Here are the questions that "The Baddest Man On The Planet" says that we should consider when picking which Presidential candidiate to support.
10) Who is most committed to follow and lead by the U.S. Constitution?
Of the six remaining contenders for the Republican nomination, the answer to this question is pretty simple and that's Congressman Ron Paul. Every question he's asked in answered by referring to the U.S. Constitution. But let's be honest here. I like Ron Paul and on economic and fiscal matters, he's definitely the man with the best ideas. But with that being said, he's not going to be the next President or even the Republican nominee. His foreign policies are just too freakin' crazy! It's that simple. So if not Paul, then who?
Former Speaker of the House Newt Gingrich comes to mind as the best possible answer. He's a historian and teaches about the Constitution and U.S. History and has a knowledge of constitutional law second to none. Maybe Newt isn't the most popular guy in the room, but he's easily the smartest and knows what he's talking about. He's a leader (as proven by his time as Speaker) and he knows how to get things done, according to the laws allowed by our Constitution. And of the current field, of the candidiates who one can actually see as having a chance to be the next President, Newt is the one who's views, opinions and actions best answer this very important question.
9) Who has the greatest ability to rally, unify and mobilize citizens across political and societal spectrums?
Again, the easiest answer to this question is Ron Paul. Nobody has the ground work and organization that can match Paul's and his supporters run all across all genres, races, ages, religions, genders and orientations. BUT as I said before, I don't think Paul has a Smurf's chance in a cat house of winning the nomination and facing President Obama in November. After him, my pick would be Jon Huntsman. Mitt Romney has a great base built up, but it's not growing because of love or support for Mitt, but because the Republican's are settling for the most likely candidiate instead of the best one. I really don't see any of that fanatical support out there for any candidiate currently in the running, but Huntsman just strikes me as the one with the most mainstream appeal. He's got appeal for Republicans, Democrats and Independents and matched up against Obama, is easily, at least in my eyes, the most appealing candidiate with the best chance of winning. He needs more money and to get his name out there more to stand any kind of chance, but he's my pick for answering this question.
8) Who has the best working comprehension of America?
This one is very hard to answer because I don't think that any of the politicians or persons currently running for President live in the real world. I think that as power accumulates and their "celebrity" grows, the world that most politicians live in becomes a land of pixies, unicorns and Fraggle Rock. They're all rich and have money and "yes-men" and the world we live in, of juggling bills, eating Raman noodles and trying to decide if you should get $10 worth of gas and be safe or get $6 worth of gas and a pack of cigs instead. I'm not saying that they're not smart or knowledgable or have the best interests of others in mind, but do they even know what the "common man" thinks about and has to deal with? I doubt it.
To figure out who would best know what America is all about and how the "real people" live and what effects them most, I think it would have to be the person or people who are closest to being "real people" themselves and translated, that means "poor". Hell if I really know who would best answer this question and which person running for the GOP Nomination really does have the best comprehension of what life as a working-class American is all about so I'll just go with Santorum. He's a bigot and a homophobe, but he grew up in PA and that has to count for something.
7) Who has the best ability to influence a volatile world away from the brink of destruction?
In other words, who has the best idea of the world picture and the best comprehension of where America needs to be with their foreign policy. This one is easy for me. My answer is Governor Jon Huntman, who has served as an Ambassador on four seperate occasions, most recently in China. He knows the world and while his record on economic and fiscal matters in very impressive (garnered while he was the Governor of Utah), it's dealing with foreign nations and matters of foreign policies where he really seems to shine. If he's not the Republican nominee for President, I can very easily see whoever does become the next President, if it is a Republican, appointing Huntsman as the next Secretary of State. The man knows his stuff, pure and simple. I just hope that we eventually get the chance to benefit from his knowledge and experience.
6) Who has clear and present moral fortitude?
Morals? We're talking about politicians here and despite the morality that they attempt to force upon all of us, very few of them actually are what one would call outstanding members of the community in real life. I know what you're thinking. How do I know this and do I have any proof? I know this because I had a dream and the face of Ronald Reagan on a hamster spoke to me. And I don't need proof because people tend to be screw-ups and people with money and power (like politicians) are the most screwed-up and whacked out of all.
So with all of that in mind, which politician and GOP Presidential hopeful is probably the most honest and morally decent of the bunch? Newt with his three wives, two affairs and money from Fannie and Freddie? Nope! Mitt and his Romneycare? Nope! Perry and his "nigger" rock ranch? Nah! How about Little Ricky and his ideas to repeal any and all same-sex marriages and make contraception illegal? Can't see it. I guess I'll go with Jon Huntsman here too. He's a Morman and we all know that Morman's don't lie. If they do, they have to answer to Donny and Marie. Yeah, he's the most honest of the group, which is like saying that poop stinks. It's still crap regardless.
So there you go. My answers to what Chuck Norris has asked that I look for in a political candidiate before I offer my support. And what do we learn from all of this, my Peeps? That I need to either lay off the drugs or else do more drugs because we don't really have much to choose from. I choose JIF! The remaining five questions from "Walker, Texas Ranger" in a few days (if I remember).
I love doing political blogs. They're so fun! Oh vey!
Ubuntu!
Iowa: The Day After - January 4, 2012
So Iowa is now over and the field of Republican contenders now move to New Hampshire and South Carolina for the next round of knock down, drag out politics as they battle it out to see who will go on to face President Barack Obama in November. Let's take a quick look at the "Super Seven" and see, after last night's Caucus. where each candidiate goes from here.
Governor Mitt Romney: Well, he won so it's extremely obvious that for the former MA Governor and front-runner of the pack, that the race continues his quest and heads towards New Hampshire, South Carolina and Florida to continue to present his case as to why he should be the man to challenge the President. His victory, with 30, 015 votes, just eight more than the number two guy and twenty-five percent of the vote, wasn't quite the ringing endorsement from the Republican voters in Iowa that he had hoped for and runs roughly about in the same area where he's polled for the past several months. The people are starting to realize Mitt is probably the most electable candidiate against Obama, but they just don't really have any love or passion for him. With Romney, the Republican's are settling and it's obvious. He's not what they want, but he's the best option available and they're realizing that. Mitt lucked out and squeaked out a win last night in Iowa, but he's got a long ways to go to win the majority of the Republican voters and Independents. And while he should win in New Hampshire, South Carolina and Florida will not go over quite as easy and I suspect that we'll see Governor Romney take some heavy shots and be inflicted with some major wounds. He won last night, but for Romney, the fighting has just really started.
Rick Santorum: For the former PA Senator, last night was a big, big moment. He may have (eventually) lost the caucusm, but only by eight votes and that's not definitely nothing to be ashamed at. But he'd better enjoy the moment in the sun and the glory because it's not going to last long. Let's be honest here. Santorum is a good looking guy who knows how to work people and do the hands-on person to person politics. He visited every county in Iowa and worked an impressive one on one with the people campaign and it paid off for him in spades with 25% of the vote and 30, 007 votes, only eight less than the winner, Mitt Romney. Santorum's approach worked for Iowa, but how will it play out in the rest of the country? While he might be able to do well in South Carolina, he doesn't have the money or resources to compete in what will be the ad-driven and knock-down, drag out matches in New Hampshire and Florida. Santorum talks a good game, but once he gets exposed to the deep scrutiny and vetting process, his record as a Senator, as well as his extremely bigoted and homophobic views will end up biting him in the butt. He's a good regional candidiate, especially for a place like Iowa, but for a national campaign, he doesn't stand a chance. He's just the latest "anti-Romney" candidiate to have his moment in the sun, but it can't last and the only thing that last night's second place finish did was just add a few more weeks to the flame before it eventually fizzles out.
Ron Paul: Like Santorum, the Ron Paul campaign did very well, coming in third with twenty-two percent of the votes, but for the Republican Congressman, the peak has been hit and there is no where to go, but down. Ron Paul is a very likable man and on economic issues, he's a very smart and knowledgable man, but ever since he's come under the spotlight and more scrutiny, his support has been waning a little bit. He still has the best on the ground workers and system in play and he's not going away. That being said, he peaked last night and as the race continues, and the scrutiny continues, the fact that as a legitimate candidiate for President, he's unelectable and can't win a national election against President Obama, will take root in more and more people's heads and I suspect that his support will fizzle away to just the loyal base. Paul has some valid and strong points, but he's not the man to our leader and I think last night will end up as his shining moment. But it can't and won't last. Too bad for the Congressman.
Newt Gingrich: Don't count the former Speaker of the House out. If history is any indication, Newt is going to recover from the wounds inflicted by this race and regroup. By the way, today (January 4) is the 17th Anniversary of Newt's swearing in as the Speaker of the House in 1995. It's obvious that Newt was percieved as the threat by both the Romney and Paul campaigns and they pulled out all the stops to make sure that every single piece of dirty laundry in Newt's life was prominently exposed for the world to see. And it worked. Newt went from leading the polls to only coming in with 4th place and 13% of the vote. But what I'm seeing is that with this defeat, the sleeping dragon may have woken up. So far, Newt had played nice and had assumed the role of statesman for the Republican party. But being Mr. Nice Guy is not the way Newt is most effective. It wasn't by playing nice that allowed Newt ro become the Speaker, get welfare reform passed in the Congress, get a balanced budget with President Clinton for several years straight or pass the "Contract With America". The gloves are off and now, we're getting the real Newt who not only can fight dirty with the best of them, but could probably give the Barack Obama Chicago crew a few lessons as well Newt has baggage and lots of it. He's not a nice person. BUT he knows how to get things done. And I think that it's time for the gloves to come off and the monster to be unleashed. I've said it before and I truly believe that in the end, the final two men in this race will be Mitt and Newt. Paul will be there too, but he's not electable. Everyone is writing Newt off and that's a big mistake. As the race progresses, we're going to see what Newt can really do. And it's not going to be pretty, but it may end up taking him to the top.
Rick Perry: After coming into the race with such momentum and energy, the Rick Perry campaign has just sort of sputtered and fizzled ever since. Perry has cancelled all of his upcoming events in South Carolina and has gone back to Texas to evaluate his campaign and ponder his future. In other words, it's over folks! Perry came in and had a good run, but his flubs in the debates hurt his stature and credibility and he never managed to recover. So it's back to Texas and we get to wait for the official announcement. So long, Rick. We barely got a chance to know you.
Michele Bachmann: Talk about delusional. The Congresswoman was born in Iowa, yet barely managed to get just over 1,000 votes (probably from family members) and she still thinks that she has a chance in this election? It's obvious to anyone who pays attention that Bachmann lives in a fantasy world of her own and can't see the writing on the wall. Her campaign has been stumbling from day one and with this crushing defeat and rejection by her home state, it's pretty apparant that her campaign has fallen and it can't get up. She needs to give it up and just go away. Far, far away!
Jon Huntsman: He didn't compete in Iowa so the results of last night have no effect on the former Utah Governor. Huntsman has decided to put all of his efforts and money into New Hampshire and see if he can pull a "Rick Santorum" in the nation's first primary. I don't think he'll win in New Hampshire, but unless something major happens, I think he can successfully pull off a third place finish and make a mark in this campaign. But that'll be about it for Huntsman, which is kind of sad because, in my opinion anyhow, he's probably the most electable man in a national election and matches up extremely well against the President. But he's more moderate than the rest of the GOP pack and in the primaries, dominated by the far right factions of the party, that's the kiss of death. Maybe he (and the voters) will surprise us and we'll see a big Huntsman explosion in popularity and money and he can become a top dog in the pack. That'd be nice, but I don't think it'll happen.
And that's my brief analysis of the Republican pack as it stands now. It's Romney's race to win or lose, but don't count out Newt or Huntsman. Paul has peaked and while he's not going anywhere, he's not going to be a serious factor for any of the other primaries. Bachmann lives in a dream world of fantasy and unicorns, while Perry is proving to be smarter than anyone realized and looks to be headed back towards Texas. And as for the man of the hour, Rick Santorum... enjoy the spotlight, but the bright lights of scrutiny start to really shine, it won't be long before you're back in the bottom of the pack and just a statistic and footnote.
Well, that's it for me and my thoughts on the Iowa Caucuses. The first state has done their thing and we only have forty-nine more to go. Oh vey! This is going to be a long, long year!
Ubuntu!
NOTE: Just as I finshed typing this up, I flipped on the TV and it looks like reality has shown up in Michele Bachmann-land. She's preparing to announce that she's suspending her campaign. So that's two down and four more to go and we get a nominee. It's STILL going to be a long year! Later!
Governor Mitt Romney: Well, he won so it's extremely obvious that for the former MA Governor and front-runner of the pack, that the race continues his quest and heads towards New Hampshire, South Carolina and Florida to continue to present his case as to why he should be the man to challenge the President. His victory, with 30, 015 votes, just eight more than the number two guy and twenty-five percent of the vote, wasn't quite the ringing endorsement from the Republican voters in Iowa that he had hoped for and runs roughly about in the same area where he's polled for the past several months. The people are starting to realize Mitt is probably the most electable candidiate against Obama, but they just don't really have any love or passion for him. With Romney, the Republican's are settling and it's obvious. He's not what they want, but he's the best option available and they're realizing that. Mitt lucked out and squeaked out a win last night in Iowa, but he's got a long ways to go to win the majority of the Republican voters and Independents. And while he should win in New Hampshire, South Carolina and Florida will not go over quite as easy and I suspect that we'll see Governor Romney take some heavy shots and be inflicted with some major wounds. He won last night, but for Romney, the fighting has just really started.
Rick Santorum: For the former PA Senator, last night was a big, big moment. He may have (eventually) lost the caucusm, but only by eight votes and that's not definitely nothing to be ashamed at. But he'd better enjoy the moment in the sun and the glory because it's not going to last long. Let's be honest here. Santorum is a good looking guy who knows how to work people and do the hands-on person to person politics. He visited every county in Iowa and worked an impressive one on one with the people campaign and it paid off for him in spades with 25% of the vote and 30, 007 votes, only eight less than the winner, Mitt Romney. Santorum's approach worked for Iowa, but how will it play out in the rest of the country? While he might be able to do well in South Carolina, he doesn't have the money or resources to compete in what will be the ad-driven and knock-down, drag out matches in New Hampshire and Florida. Santorum talks a good game, but once he gets exposed to the deep scrutiny and vetting process, his record as a Senator, as well as his extremely bigoted and homophobic views will end up biting him in the butt. He's a good regional candidiate, especially for a place like Iowa, but for a national campaign, he doesn't stand a chance. He's just the latest "anti-Romney" candidiate to have his moment in the sun, but it can't last and the only thing that last night's second place finish did was just add a few more weeks to the flame before it eventually fizzles out.
Ron Paul: Like Santorum, the Ron Paul campaign did very well, coming in third with twenty-two percent of the votes, but for the Republican Congressman, the peak has been hit and there is no where to go, but down. Ron Paul is a very likable man and on economic issues, he's a very smart and knowledgable man, but ever since he's come under the spotlight and more scrutiny, his support has been waning a little bit. He still has the best on the ground workers and system in play and he's not going away. That being said, he peaked last night and as the race continues, and the scrutiny continues, the fact that as a legitimate candidiate for President, he's unelectable and can't win a national election against President Obama, will take root in more and more people's heads and I suspect that his support will fizzle away to just the loyal base. Paul has some valid and strong points, but he's not the man to our leader and I think last night will end up as his shining moment. But it can't and won't last. Too bad for the Congressman.
Newt Gingrich: Don't count the former Speaker of the House out. If history is any indication, Newt is going to recover from the wounds inflicted by this race and regroup. By the way, today (January 4) is the 17th Anniversary of Newt's swearing in as the Speaker of the House in 1995. It's obvious that Newt was percieved as the threat by both the Romney and Paul campaigns and they pulled out all the stops to make sure that every single piece of dirty laundry in Newt's life was prominently exposed for the world to see. And it worked. Newt went from leading the polls to only coming in with 4th place and 13% of the vote. But what I'm seeing is that with this defeat, the sleeping dragon may have woken up. So far, Newt had played nice and had assumed the role of statesman for the Republican party. But being Mr. Nice Guy is not the way Newt is most effective. It wasn't by playing nice that allowed Newt ro become the Speaker, get welfare reform passed in the Congress, get a balanced budget with President Clinton for several years straight or pass the "Contract With America". The gloves are off and now, we're getting the real Newt who not only can fight dirty with the best of them, but could probably give the Barack Obama Chicago crew a few lessons as well Newt has baggage and lots of it. He's not a nice person. BUT he knows how to get things done. And I think that it's time for the gloves to come off and the monster to be unleashed. I've said it before and I truly believe that in the end, the final two men in this race will be Mitt and Newt. Paul will be there too, but he's not electable. Everyone is writing Newt off and that's a big mistake. As the race progresses, we're going to see what Newt can really do. And it's not going to be pretty, but it may end up taking him to the top.
Rick Perry: After coming into the race with such momentum and energy, the Rick Perry campaign has just sort of sputtered and fizzled ever since. Perry has cancelled all of his upcoming events in South Carolina and has gone back to Texas to evaluate his campaign and ponder his future. In other words, it's over folks! Perry came in and had a good run, but his flubs in the debates hurt his stature and credibility and he never managed to recover. So it's back to Texas and we get to wait for the official announcement. So long, Rick. We barely got a chance to know you.
Michele Bachmann: Talk about delusional. The Congresswoman was born in Iowa, yet barely managed to get just over 1,000 votes (probably from family members) and she still thinks that she has a chance in this election? It's obvious to anyone who pays attention that Bachmann lives in a fantasy world of her own and can't see the writing on the wall. Her campaign has been stumbling from day one and with this crushing defeat and rejection by her home state, it's pretty apparant that her campaign has fallen and it can't get up. She needs to give it up and just go away. Far, far away!
Jon Huntsman: He didn't compete in Iowa so the results of last night have no effect on the former Utah Governor. Huntsman has decided to put all of his efforts and money into New Hampshire and see if he can pull a "Rick Santorum" in the nation's first primary. I don't think he'll win in New Hampshire, but unless something major happens, I think he can successfully pull off a third place finish and make a mark in this campaign. But that'll be about it for Huntsman, which is kind of sad because, in my opinion anyhow, he's probably the most electable man in a national election and matches up extremely well against the President. But he's more moderate than the rest of the GOP pack and in the primaries, dominated by the far right factions of the party, that's the kiss of death. Maybe he (and the voters) will surprise us and we'll see a big Huntsman explosion in popularity and money and he can become a top dog in the pack. That'd be nice, but I don't think it'll happen.
And that's my brief analysis of the Republican pack as it stands now. It's Romney's race to win or lose, but don't count out Newt or Huntsman. Paul has peaked and while he's not going anywhere, he's not going to be a serious factor for any of the other primaries. Bachmann lives in a dream world of fantasy and unicorns, while Perry is proving to be smarter than anyone realized and looks to be headed back towards Texas. And as for the man of the hour, Rick Santorum... enjoy the spotlight, but the bright lights of scrutiny start to really shine, it won't be long before you're back in the bottom of the pack and just a statistic and footnote.
Well, that's it for me and my thoughts on the Iowa Caucuses. The first state has done their thing and we only have forty-nine more to go. Oh vey! This is going to be a long, long year!
Ubuntu!
NOTE: Just as I finshed typing this up, I flipped on the TV and it looks like reality has shown up in Michele Bachmann-land. She's preparing to announce that she's suspending her campaign. So that's two down and four more to go and we get a nominee. It's STILL going to be a long year! Later!
Tuesday, January 3, 2012
Dougology Survey - January 3, 2012
Dougology.......
*Let others know a little more about yourself, re-post this as your name followed by "ology" Then tag 20 people of your choice. Once you have been tagged you must do it and then tag the person that tagged you!*
Foodology:
Salad Dressing of Choice: Thousand Island
Favorite Sit-Down Restaurant: Golden Run (love that Chinese food)
Food I.Could Eat for Two Weeks Straight: Chinese - just point me to the buffet table and leave me be.
Pizza Toppings of Choice: MEAT - lots and lots of meat!
Stuff on Toast: butter and strawberry jelly
Technology:
TVs in My House: 2
Color Cell Phone: Silver & Black
First Text Message in Inbox: A message from Brent that I've saved...
Last Person to Call: Brian
Biology:
Lefty or Righty: Lefty
Ever had anything removed from your body? Your boyfriend... lol.
Last Heavy Thing Lifted: Your boyfriend... lol.
Bullcrapology: ???
Would I want to know the day I will die?: Hell no!
Change your name: I'd like to change my pen name to something else besides my real name.
Would you drink an entire bottle of hot sauce for £1,000?: Nope!
How many pairs of flip-flops? None at all...
Last time you had a run-in with the cops? I hit on an ex-cop a few days ago - he's a sexy beast (but he won't let me play with his night-stick, damn it!)
Last Person I Talked to in Person: My mother..
Favorite Month: October
Currentology:
Missing someone?: More than anyone knows...
Mood?: Tired and a bit frustrated.
Listening To: The TV (HGTV "Love It Or List It")
Watching: The computer screen..
Worrying About: How I'm going to get my Blazer up and running and about a job fair I'm headed to tomorrow afternoon after Aberdeen / Food Lion.
Randomology:
Last movie watched: Iron Man (watched it last night)
Do I smile often?: Not really - I'm more of a smirker / scowler (but I'm laughing on the inside)
Do you always answer your phone? Hell no - I hate that damn thing... lol
If you could change your eye color, what would it be? Bright green
What flavor do you add to your drink at Liquid? I have no idea how to answer this one...
Have you ever had a pet fish?: Yeppers - sure 'nuff did!
Favorite Christmas song?: Little Drummer Boy (Bowie / Bing Crosby) and "Merry Christmas From The Family" by Robert Earl Keen
What’s on your wish list for your birthday? Find a job, get my Blazer running and most importantly, have Cal come home where he belongs..
Can you do push ups?: Yeah, but do I really want to??
Does the future make you more nervous or excited?: Nervously excited.... lol
Do you have any saved texts?: Yeppers
Ever been in a car wreck?: Yeppers
Do you have an accent?: Yeppers - I have a major southern accent mixed with country / redneck..
What is the last song to make you cry?: "Me and Little Andy" by Dolly Parton - love that song..
Plans tonight?: Finishing this survey, posting it at the blog and going to bed - the morning will be coming very early..
Have you ever felt like you hit rock bottom?:Yeppers!
Name 3 things you bought yesterday?: A newspaper, some drinks and a pack of smokes..
Have you ever been given roses?: Yeppers! : - )
Current worry?: So much to do and so little time to do it..
Current hate right now?: I hate being alone!
Met someone who changed your life?: I met him about fifteen years ago - fell in love with him about three years ago and my life has never been the same since - I love you, Cal!
What song represents you?: "I've Gotta Be Me" - Sammy Davis Jr.
Name three people who might complete this: If I decide to tag as I'm supposed to (and won't) - Niki, Chris L. and Elicia (she already did it!)
What were you doing 12AM last night?: Playing on the computer and watching TV
What was the first thing you thought of when you woke up?: What time is it? I'm going back to sleep!!!
*Let others know a little more about yourself, re-post this as your name followed by "ology" Then tag 20 people of your choice. Once you have been tagged you must do it and then tag the person that tagged you!*
Foodology:
Salad Dressing of Choice: Thousand Island
Favorite Sit-Down Restaurant: Golden Run (love that Chinese food)
Food I.Could Eat for Two Weeks Straight: Chinese - just point me to the buffet table and leave me be.
Pizza Toppings of Choice: MEAT - lots and lots of meat!
Stuff on Toast: butter and strawberry jelly
Technology:
TVs in My House: 2
Color Cell Phone: Silver & Black
First Text Message in Inbox: A message from Brent that I've saved...
Last Person to Call: Brian
Biology:
Lefty or Righty: Lefty
Ever had anything removed from your body? Your boyfriend... lol.
Last Heavy Thing Lifted: Your boyfriend... lol.
Bullcrapology: ???
Would I want to know the day I will die?: Hell no!
Change your name: I'd like to change my pen name to something else besides my real name.
Would you drink an entire bottle of hot sauce for £1,000?: Nope!
How many pairs of flip-flops? None at all...
Last time you had a run-in with the cops? I hit on an ex-cop a few days ago - he's a sexy beast (but he won't let me play with his night-stick, damn it!)
Last Person I Talked to in Person: My mother..
Favorite Month: October
Currentology:
Missing someone?: More than anyone knows...
Mood?: Tired and a bit frustrated.
Listening To: The TV (HGTV "Love It Or List It")
Watching: The computer screen..
Worrying About: How I'm going to get my Blazer up and running and about a job fair I'm headed to tomorrow afternoon after Aberdeen / Food Lion.
Randomology:
Last movie watched: Iron Man (watched it last night)
Do I smile often?: Not really - I'm more of a smirker / scowler (but I'm laughing on the inside)
Do you always answer your phone? Hell no - I hate that damn thing... lol
If you could change your eye color, what would it be? Bright green
What flavor do you add to your drink at Liquid? I have no idea how to answer this one...
Have you ever had a pet fish?: Yeppers - sure 'nuff did!
Favorite Christmas song?: Little Drummer Boy (Bowie / Bing Crosby) and "Merry Christmas From The Family" by Robert Earl Keen
What’s on your wish list for your birthday? Find a job, get my Blazer running and most importantly, have Cal come home where he belongs..
Can you do push ups?: Yeah, but do I really want to??
Does the future make you more nervous or excited?: Nervously excited.... lol
Do you have any saved texts?: Yeppers
Ever been in a car wreck?: Yeppers
Do you have an accent?: Yeppers - I have a major southern accent mixed with country / redneck..
What is the last song to make you cry?: "Me and Little Andy" by Dolly Parton - love that song..
Plans tonight?: Finishing this survey, posting it at the blog and going to bed - the morning will be coming very early..
Have you ever felt like you hit rock bottom?:Yeppers!
Name 3 things you bought yesterday?: A newspaper, some drinks and a pack of smokes..
Have you ever been given roses?: Yeppers! : - )
Current worry?: So much to do and so little time to do it..
Current hate right now?: I hate being alone!
Met someone who changed your life?: I met him about fifteen years ago - fell in love with him about three years ago and my life has never been the same since - I love you, Cal!
What song represents you?: "I've Gotta Be Me" - Sammy Davis Jr.
Name three people who might complete this: If I decide to tag as I'm supposed to (and won't) - Niki, Chris L. and Elicia (she already did it!)
What were you doing 12AM last night?: Playing on the computer and watching TV
What was the first thing you thought of when you woke up?: What time is it? I'm going back to sleep!!!
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