Tossing Salt - Worldwide News: January 11, 2012

Tossing Salt - Worldwide News
January 11, 2012
Doug Maynard

Have you ever had just one of those days? No, not those days but the other ones. THOSE days. Yeah, you know what I'm talking about. This is one of THOSE days. Where the mind and body are both baffled, dazed and confused. I don't know which way is up, which way is down and who actually does the hokey-pokey and what it really is all about. I need to quit watching the political news on TV. It's some creepy and whacky stuff.

Kind of like RAW this past Monday night. (See how I transitioned that opening remark into a wrestling-themed comment? Pretty good, right?) Yeppers, I watched WWE Monday Night RAW Supershow and well... it was a show. Not sure how "super" it was though. It was... different. It was so different that I have had images of Brodus Clay getting funky, Ryder playing "Mr. Goodwrench" and Santino yelling "Cobra!" circling in my mind for the past day and 1/2. Actually, that's not all that unusual and kind of par for the course. Ooops!

But I've decided that since RAW touched on so many different topics, both good and bad, it's only fair that I do the same... here... now! So here you go. I'm Doug and this is Pro Wrestling's Most Eclectic Column since 2003, the one and only, often duplicated and sometimes even regurgitated, "Tossing Salt - Worldwide News!". Let's do this...

Happy 21rst Birthday to my favorite nigga, Kenneth Wayne McDonald. Got a cute girlfriend, an awesome young'un and now you're legal too. What more can you ask for? Have a great day, my friend! HAPPY BIRTHDAY!

Brodus Clay - Super Freak

For weeks and weeks and weeks, the WWE has been promoting the re-debut of the man who once served as Alberto Del Rio's bodyguard, the unstoppable monster, Brodus Clay. And this past Monday, it finally happens and we expect to see this huge monster of a monster (so monsterous, you have to say it twice) come out and decimate his opponent. Well, we see Curt Hawkins waiting in the ring and we see hear the announcer make the introduction and do we get the merciless, marauding monsterous killing machine? Nope! We get a trip through Mr. Peabody's "Way Back Machine" and end up with the love child of PN News meets Grand Master Sexay meets... okay, I just went blank and can't think of anyone else, but still... DAMN! 1983 called and they want their character back. What the hell is WWE and their so-called "Creative Team" thinking? This is terrible! This is awful! This is so stupid!

And then I realized something. Yes, this new gimmick is all of those things, but it's also unique (for today's WWE), it stands out and it's memorable. And if they did as I was expecting, having Brodus debut, kill Hawkins dead and leave, we wouldn't be giving it another thought. Brodus Clay would be just another big man monster in the WWE. But now, he's the "Funkasaurus" who dances with two hot ladies and excites the fans by blowing the roof off the arena's even before he gets into the ring and wrestles.

"Dude Love!"... That's who I was thinking of earlier when I went blank. We get a trip through Mr. Peabody's "Way Back Machine" and end up with the love child of PN News meets Grand Master Sexay meets Dude Love! There you go. I don't care you are. That's funny right there... lol. Okay, maybe not. Now where was I? Oh yeah, as stupid as the gimmick might be (and it's pretty damn dumb), it makes Brodus stand out from the crowd and will give him a chance to really establish himself and become an attraction. At some point in the future, he can trash the dancing and girls and be a pissed-off monster, but for the time being, I'm willing to give this new gimmick a chance. After all, look what all the dancing did for Tank Abbott in WCW? Ooops! Brodus is doomed!

Break The Walls Down... With Tears?

Another great Chris Jericho segment. He comes to the ring to cut a promo. And instead of talking, he cries? What the... ??? Okay, I admit it. I am officially intrigued. And the really bad thing about it is that this was the best part of RAW apart from the Hall of Fame announcements. Jericho is de' man!!

The WWE Hall of Fame - Part 1...

And the first name announced as part of the WWE Hall of Fame Class of 2012 is Adam Copeland, aka "Edge". And I'm kind of conflicted on this one. While I have absolutely no doubt that Edge is a great performer and belongs in the WWE Hall of Fame at some point, it just seems to me that WWE is rushing things a bit by inducting him this year. He retired one year ago after a great match at Wrestlemania 27, due to injuries and has remained a part of the WWE Universe since then. He still a young man and there are many, many others (Wahoo McDaniel, Tommy Rich, Mr. Wrestling II, Bob Caudle, Madusa, Lex Luger, Bob Backlund, Bruno Sammartino,etc) that deserve their spot in the sun first.

But then again, that's just my opinion. Edge has always been loyal to the WWE since day one of his career and when others walked, he (and HBK) were the ones who always stayed. If it was up to me, I would hold off on Edge for a few more years as being part of the WWE Hall of Fame. But it's not up to me. It's up to Vince McMahon and the rest of the WWE powers-that-be and they want Edge. So be it. If they're looking for a stacked roster of Inductees for this year's HOF Class, then Edge is a good way to start.

The WWE Hall of Fame - Part 2...

And then we have the second announcement for the WWE Hall of Fame Class of 2012, the very well deserving "Four Horsemen". I literally got chills up and down my arms as they showed that great video package. I've been a fan of The Horsemen since Day 1 (one of the big advantages of being a native Mid-Atlantic resident) and they were the first legitimate "Super Group" of pro-wrestling. But two things stand out from the video announcing the Induction that really disturb me.

The first thing is that the men announced as being inducted as part of "The Horsemen" are Ric Flair, Tully Blanchard, Arn Anderson, Barry Windham and J.J. Dillon. And that's all well and good, but where the hell is Ole Anderson? He was one of the original Horsemen and was part of the original package. To be totally honest, he was the rock among whom the original package (Horsemen) were based around. Would there have ever been a "Four Horsemen" team without first having the legendary Minnesota Wrecking Crew, Ole and Gene, dominate wrestling for the prior fifteen years? Not hardly. Ole was there first and Ric was brought in as his cousin. Then Arn was brought in as the other cousin after Gene retired from the business. The Andersons became Flair's bodyguards to protect that NWA World Championship. And then Tully and J.J. came along later on. But Ole was first and without him as part of the Horseman induction, it's just not right.

The reason for this is that quite simply, Vince McMahon doesn't like Ole and Ole doesn't like anyone, but especially if their name is McMahon. McMahon stole Georgia Championship Wrestling away from Ole through devious means (even for a wrestling promoter) and Ole holds a grudge. It's not right and it sucks! But I'm going to look at it like this. With "The Four Horsemen" being inducted into the HOF, I'm going to consider that every single wrestler who was a legitimate Horseman (sorry Jeff Jarrett - that doesn't include you... Paul Roma neither cause he sucks) is a Hall of Fame member. That means Ric Flair, Arn, Tully, Windham and J.J. Dillon PLUS Ole, Lex Luger, Baby Doll, Sid Vicious, Flyin' Brian Pillman, Chris Benoit, Woman, Elizabeth, Dean Malenko, Steve "Mongo" McMichael and Curt Hennig.

I'm sure that either Arn or one of the other Horsemen will mention Ole. They can't have a Horsemen induction without him and I expect that there will be a shout-out to the other former Horsemen as well. Maybe we'll see the rest of the group I mentioned above (Luger, Sid, Malenko and Mongo) sitting in the front row of the audience at the ceremony. I expect that we'll see Horsemen past and present popping up all over the place over the next few months to cash in.

Let's go on to the other big question about the induction of The Horsemen. In the video package, heavily featured is "The Nature Boy" Ric Flair. Will Ric be at the HOF event? Can Ric even be at the HOF event? Ric is currently a member of the TNA roster and is under contract to TNA and I can't see that company letting one of their top names attend an event and work for their biggest rival.

It might happen because this is a special situation and I can see where they may allow Ric to attend the HOF ceremony, but not be at Wrestlemania the next evening. It's going to be interesting to see how all of this works out in the end. I hope Ric is there.

And for that matter, I hope that Barry Windham is healthy enough to be at the ceremony. He lives in Florida so it wouldn't be rough traveling time, but the last I heard about Barry is that while he's recovering from the stroke he had a few months ago and has returned home, he's still got a long ways to go for a recovery. Maybe he'll surprise us all. Let's hope so.

TRIVIA FACT: With Barry Windham being inducted as part of the Four Horsemen this year, that makes him and his father, Blackjack Mulligan, who was inducted in 2006 as part of The Blackjacks, the only father-son set of Inductees in the Hall of Fame.

Woo Woo What?

What the hell was the deal with Zack Ryder on RAW? He's gone from being funny and fresh and exciting to being an idiot. The "rub" from John Cena is wearing thin and now he's getting stalked by Kane? What? And when he and Eve are fleeing, they have a flat tire? And Zack decides to change it... on camera... while being stalked by a monster. Leave the car and call a cab, you idiot!

It looks to me, and I may be wrong, that the WWE Creative team is trying to kill off Ryder's character. Everything that he did that got him over with the fans and made him popular is now forgotten and he's become John Cena's "Jason Todd" version of Robin. How long before The Joker (Kane) beats Ryder to death with a crowbar? WWE has a diamond in the rough and future piece of big money with Ryder, but they'd rather just flush it down the toliet like a nasty little nugget. And that's a shame because Ryder deserves better. 'Nuff said!

I guess I'm going to close this up now. I've got a few more things I wanted to add, but they can wait. I still have a political blog to go write now and it's getting late.

Questions and comments can be sent to Doug28352@yahoo.com. To go read all of my columns, wrestling, political and otherwise, go visit my blog-site at www.tsfiction.blogspot.com. And keep your eyes open for "Tossing Salt Presents Wrestling Fact Or Fiction" by myself and "The Loose Cannon" Russell Jackson. It'll be up here at Wrestle-Zone.UK within the next day or so.

Thank you for reading. I'm Doug and dat' is all de people need to know! Have a great week.

Ubuntu!