(Retro) A Typical Day Of Programming At WWE TV - July 17, 2003

A Typical Day Of Programming At WWE TV - July 17, 2003

Every so often, talk comes up of an all-wrestling network. It'll happen soon enough, I guess. With all the cable access out there now, it's pretty much a sure thing one day. Well, I started wondering what would it be like to have a all WWE network, run by Vinnie-Mac and family and what kind of programming would it show. And I think I've got it figured out. Here are the program listings for a typical day of WWE-TV.

5:30am - Sign on - the Dudleys and Nikolia Volkoff take turns singing the national anthem.

5:35am - "Wake Up With Trish" - Open your etes as Trish Stratus leads you through an invigorating early morning workout!

6:00am - WWE Early Edition - Zach Gowen reads the news and happening around the world of Sports Entertainment. Coach does the sports and the Hurricane on weather.

6:30am - "From the Vault" - a classic match from the archives of the WWE - hosted by Mean Gene Okerlund

7:00am "Cooking With J.R." - Good old J.R. and Molly Holly in the kitchen to help you learn to prepare your favorite meals.

7:30am - "Bradshaw's 'Brawl from Wallstreet'" - WWE Superstar Bradshaw and former wrestler Michael Wallstreet (IRS) talk about the happenings and events in the stock market and on Wall Street.

8:00am - "Dudleys Playhouse" - Join Spike, Bubba, and D-Von as they and all their friends explore the magical kingdom and put the bad guys through tables. Special guests: Spanky and Mr. Ass.

9:00am - "Coffee Talk" - Sable sits and has one on one discussions with various WWE personalities over coffee and a donut. Guests this week include: Howard Finkel, the Big Show,and Mr. Socko.

10:00am - "Piper's Pit" - Hot Rod is back and this time, he's taking no prisoners. Topics this week include: "I sued Vince - and won", "Overblown Egos Out of Control", "Backstage Whores", and "Your Wife Was A Rat".

11:00am - WWE Smackdown - a replay of the show from UPN on Thursday nights.

1:00pm - "Diva View" - Ivory, Moolah, Gail Kim, and Stacy Keibler discuss the events of the day. Special reporter Mae Young goes on assignment and always gets the scoop!

2:00pm - WWE RAW - a replay of the shows from Monday Nights on TNN.

4:00pm - "WWE Recap" - Bobby Heenan, Jim Ross, Paul Heyman, and Eric Bischoff have a roundtable discussion and talk over RAW, Smackdown, and all the WWE affairs.

5:00pm - "Tough Enough" - The MTV series returns with Al Snow, Big, Jacqueline, and Ron Simmons as they attempt to mold a new group of youngsters into the WWE superstars of the future.

5:30pm - "Yo! Cena Raps" - Join host John Cena and sidekick P.N. News as they interview and chill with the stars of rap, rock, R & B, and hip-hop!

6:00pm - "Storm Warnings - Evening Edition" - Lance Storm reads from cue cards and delivers the news - Scott Steiner and Test debate the issues - Shaniquia with the weather - Chris Nowinski with the daily editorial and Chris Beniot with the farm report.

6:30pm - "What the...?" - Join the bizarre one, Golddust,as he takes a look at the strange and unusual events and people from around the world. THings that just make you scratch your head and go "what the..?".

7:00pm - "Just Friends" - Wild and wacky sitcom about 6 friends in NYC who live in two apartments and constantly meddle in each others lives. Starring: Billy Kidman, Torrie Wilson, Nidia, Jamie Noble, Tommy Dreamer, and Dawn Marie.

7:30pm - "Jazz and Rico" - A tough lady from the streets - an ex-cop turned gay fashion coordinator. And now they're roommates. You know this is going to be crazy. Add Rico's assistant (Miss Jackie) and Jazz's associates (Rodney Mack and Teddy Long) to the mix and the fun never stops.

8:00pm - "WWE Bloopers and Jokes" - Join Steve Blackman and Scotty 2 Hotty as they look at all those moments from the WWE the superstars would rather forget - uncensored. See Edge and Christian de-pants Al Snow. See Vince hit a fan with a cane. See Mae Young make out with Jerry Lawler. From the people who brought you GTV - you'll never look at your favorite WWE superstars the same again.

9:00pm - "The McMahons" - they're creepy and they're spooky - mysterious and ooky! They're altogether kooky. Those damn McMahon's. See Vince as the billioniare. Linda is the long-suffering wife. Stephanie plays the slutty little "daddy's princess", and Shane as the sneaky son out to steal Dad's empire. Also starring: Triple H as 'Cousin Game', Albert as 'Albert', and Luna Vachon as herself. Special guest: Al Snow as the 'Head Doctor'.

10:00pm - "Jericho Highlight Reel" - Chris Jericho sits and talks with his guests about why he is a legend, an icon, and King of the world - and everyone else is an assclown or just a jackass. His guest: Christian (Author of the best selling book "1001 Uses For Ass Cream".

11;00pm - "Dead Man Talking" - The Undertaker with the night news. Brock Lesnar with sports and Stevie Richards with the weather.

11:30PM - "Late Night Regal" - William Regal and his guest discuss the finer things in life over a spot of tea and some crumpets. Guests this week include: Eddy Guerrero, Tajiri, and the FBI. Plus Rhyno and RVD with tips on wine tasting and selecting the finest cigars.

12:30AM - "The Best of WCW" - A show highlighting some of the finest moments of WCW. Hosts are Tony Schiavone and Larry Zbyszko

1:30AM - "The Best of ECW" - A show showing the most extreme of ECW. Hosts are Joey Styles and Joel "the Quinessential Stud-Muffin" Gertner.

2:30AM - Sunday Night Heat - replay of the program from Sunday on TNN

3:30AM - Velocity - Replay of the Saturday night program from TNN

4:30AM Sign off - Steve Austin sings the Nationial Anthem

So, what do ya think? I'd watch it - some of it anyhow. It sure beats the hell out of some of the major networks.

-Doug