(Retro) Vengeance Predictions - July 24, 2003

Vengeance Predictions - July 24, 2003

Sunday will be the WWE PPV, Vengence. - Smackdown's first solo PPV. It's 4:30 in the AM and I'm up and awake (even though I don't have to be- have the day off), so I figured I'd run down the card and make my predictions.

Main Event - WWE Title - 3 Way Dance
Brock Lesnar versus Kurt Angle versus Big Show

You know they gotta save the Kurt/Brock solo rematch for Summerslam, so that pretty much rules out the Big Slow getting the belt. Gotta keep the title on one of the big two. Just because, I'm giving Brock the win in this, via a DQ or count-out. He'll keep the title, and have a five-star rematch with Kurt at Summerslam. And just to make it interesting, after the match, Kurt turns on Brock and turns heel (this buddy/buddy stuff is funny, but getting corny fast) - and he and the Slow will beat the hell out of Brock - Kurt will bring back Paul Heyman as his agent and be the "you suck" role model and practicioner of the 3 "I"'s (why hasn't he used that bit lately?) that we've all grown to know and love..

Winner: Brock Lesnar

US Title Match
Chris Benoit versus Eddy Guerrero

Benoit has been busting his ass lately and really deserves some gold. Eddie - well, he lies, cheats,and steals, and despite all efforts by the WWE to make him a heel, he gets more cheers than almost anyone. This will probably be the best match of the night (although the Kidman/Mysterio tag match with WGTT will be damn good too!) It's too close to call on this one, so I'll just say give it to Chris Benoit - then Eddie will win the rematch. And Chris will get the belt back. And for the rest of the year, they'll just trade the title back and forth.

Winner: Chris Benoit

Undertaker versus John Cena

In their first match, Taker won. Now it's time for him to do the right thing. Cena is the "new" next big thing and he'll steal a win come Sunday night.

Winner: John Cena

Stephanie McMahon versus Sable

Steph and Sable will put on a wrestling clinic (ala Steamboat/Flair) and go 90 minutes in a match of sure pure science and brilliance, all the fans will be standing and giving them an ovation. Bwah-ha-ha-ha! Sorry! This will be short and ugly. Sable actually knew a couple of moves back in 1999 when she last wrestled - Steph saves all her good moves for Triple H behind the scenes - so I'll give this one to Sable. Then they can drag this storyline out for several more months as the evil Stephanie returns and plots her revenge.

Winner: Sable

Vince McMahon versus Zach Gowen

Why is this even a match? Vince has manhandled Zach every time they've met. So, of course, Zach will score a fluke win via interferance by someone, and McMahon will be disgusted and this will drag on for several more months as well as they try and figure out what to do with Zach now that the novelty of his routine is quickly wearing off.

Winner: Zach Gowen

Mr. Ass Billy Gunn w/Torrie versus Jamie Noble w/ Nidia
If Mr. Ass loses, Torrie has to spend the night with Noble.

I don't even know if Noble can carry Billy Gunn to a good match, but I'll give him the benefit of a doubt. Since Mr. Ass is Vince's boy, I should probably go with him - but.... since sex = ratings and I want to see how this goes - it'll be something like Mr. Ass sets up Jamie for the pin - Nidia interferes and Torrie interferes to cut her off. - Mr. Ass is distracted by all this and Jamie gets in a low blow or otherwise just as sneaky cheap shot and steals the win. The next week or so will lead up to their "night of passion" - Nidia will be po'd at Jamie and try to ruin things. Torrie will decide she likes it, and turn heel, alligning herself with Noble - while Nidia will break up with Jamie and allign herself with Spanky or Kanyon to help try and get them over like she has helped (?) with Jamie..

Winner: Jamie Noble

WWE Tag Team Championship
The World's Greatest Tag Team (Shelton Benjamin and Charlie Haas)
versus
Rey Mysterio and Kidman

Kidman and Rey should be wrestling each other in a cruiserweight title match, and not doing the tag team thing. That being said, this is gonna be a hell of a match - very close and very fast paced - and wide open. The WGTT will keep the belts - Rey and Kidman will have heat, and wrestle on SD next week, because of their misunderstanding.

Winners: Charlie Haas and Shelton Benjamin

The APA Barroom Brawl

Let's see - the APA, Spanky, Rhyno, Sean O'Haire, Kanyon, Matt and John (from Tough Enough 3), Doink the Clown, and Brother Love. Yeah - all righty then. WTF is Brother Love doing in there? He's not a wrestler and for sure, not a brawler? This is going to be nothing but one big clusterf*ck. Who's gonna come out on top - I have no idea. I'll pick Sean O'Haire just because the WWE was so high on him a few months ago. If he's not the winner, it'll just show that he's still feeling the fallout from the Piper firing, and they've given up on him. I hope that doesn't happen and he needs a big win to get his career back on track.

Winner: Sean O'Haire

And then next month at the joint PPV - he needs to allign himself with Evolution and jump ship to RAW - but then again, I'm not telling ya'll anything you didn't already know.

This could turn out to be a decent card.(But where the hell are Matt Hardy, Ultimo Dragon, and Shannon Moore?) I'll know Monday or Tuesday when I borrow the tape of the show from my friends. (Ya'll sure as hell didn't think I was gonna pay to see it, did ya?) But those are my predictions. Some of ya need to post your predictions as well, so we can see how we do on Sunday.

I'm going back to bed now..

Later all ..

-Doug