Retro: AWA On ESPN Classics: April 17, 2008

AWA Championship Wrestling
On ESPN Classics
April 17, 2008
Doug "Spinning The Records" Maynard

Are you ready to rock? It's Doug and I'm back here again with another edition of AWA Championship Wrestling from the vaults of ESPN Classics. It was a good show last night. Lots and lots of stuff! So I've got my computer's jukebox cranked up and I'm ready to do the recap as only I can (or anyone else can who happens to be up at 1:00 in the morning...lol) . I should have done this recap last night when the show ended and I was still hyper. I went to bed instead and now, five hours later, I'm tired and exhausted and I haven't even done anything yet. But I'm still pumped up about the show. So that counts for something. Let's turn up the music and get this done.

It's from May 27, 1986 and the world famous Showboat Sports Pavilion in Vegas. So where's Dan Tanna? Rod "From Coast To Coast" Trongard & "The Happy Hawaiian" Lord James Blears are the men calling the action. And Larry Nelson continues his role as the fuzzy-faced guy who does everything from ring announcing to interviews to getting Verne's coffee.

Alice Cooper and "Is Anyone Home (Live)" is playing on the computer. Let's get to it.

H.D. Hass & "Handsome" Harry Henderson vs. Boris Zhukov & Sheik Adnan El Kassey

What was that show about the Bigfoot who lived with the family? Harry and the Hendersons? Well, this must be a cousin. Funny! He doesn't look like a Bigfoot. The wonders of plastic surgery and Nair. "Who wears short shorts?" Sorry, I just had a 1970's commercial flashback. I picked a helluva week to quit dropping acid.

Zhukov and Sheik attack before the bell rings and drive their opponents to the floor. It takes a second to get the match started and its Henderson against Zhukov. They lock up and Zhukov goes to the corner to get free. Tag to Sheik who quickly takes his opponents measure and takes control with several rips at the eyes, nails raked down the back, some punches and a chop. Hass tags in and Sheik rips at the eyes and kicks and stomps away. A "Shades of Kevin Sullivan" double-stomp to the stomach. Zhukov tags in and after a big kick, throws Hass to the floor. Zhukov follows and slams Hass hard on the concrete floor. A big "USA" chant fills the arena.

"Love Heals" from the Rent soundtrack just came on the jukebox! I love this song.

Sheik comes in and goes to the leg. Hass throws some punches, but Sheik just dominates with rakes of the eyes, chops, stomps and a few slams. Henderson tags in and Sheik immediately bites him on the face. He won't be "handsome" for long at this rate. Sheik moves to the arm and bites the arm. I guess he missed lunch and was getting hungry.

Sheik tags out to Zhukov who comes in with kicks and a suplex. Elbows and a tag to Sheik who hits Harry with the double-sledgehammer shot to the chest. Sheik with slams and kicks and some ripping at the face. Neck vice by Sheik. Harry tries to fight back with some punches. Zhukov is in with kicks and a hard slam into the corner. It's the "Shades of Nikita Koloff" Russian Sickle. We call it a clothesline here in the States. Zhukov gets a two-count.
"Creep" by Radiohead comes on the jukebox. And Shiek tags in to the match. How appropriate. Punches and a slam by the Sheik. A tag to Zhukov who hits a big headbutt from the second rope. Another headbutt and Zhukov covers for the easy pin.

Winners: Boris Zhukov & Sheik Adnan El Kassey

Larry Nelson has come to the ring and is talking to Zhukov & Sheik. Next week, they face the Midnight Rockers? Their thoughts? Sheik wants to know who the Rockers are? Who have they beaten? Nobody! And they won't beat Sheik and Zhukov. Sheik then moves on to how the Commissioners and Promoters suspended King Kong Brody. Sheik says that he will use his money and do everything in his power to get Brody back in the AWA & in the ring. He's the only man who can manage and control Brody and they have their eyes on the tag team titles. Zhukov chimes in that the Rockers can't stop him and Sheik and they want the tag team titles to come to the Army.

Oh, snap! The theme from "He-Man And The Masters Of The Universe" just popped up. I had forgotten I had this on my computer. "By the Power of Greyskull! - I have the power!" That was so awesome, when I was a kid. Now, it just seems all very gay! So that's what happened? Hmmmmm! Go figure! And now "Wave on Wave" by Bucky Covington just came up. The local guy kicks ass!

We go now to Greg Gagne & Larry Nelson in the studio with a preview of the rest of the show. We'll see a six-man tag in the main event with Larry Zbyszko teaming up with Rose & Somers to take on Steve Pardee, Mike Rotundo & Jimmy Snuka. Plus in the feature match, it's Col. DeBeers vs. Jake Milliman. And Nelson tells us to watch closely at the end. And next week, we'll have Scott Hall & Curt Hennig defending the tag titles against Rose & Somers as well as The Midnight Rockers taking on Sheik Adnan & Boris Zhukov. This week sounds good. Next week - not so shabby either.

"Date Rape" by Sublime just kicked in...

And now, to the feature match of the evening...

Col. DeBeers vs. Jake "The Milkman" Milliman

Jake rolls away as DeBeers attempts to lock up. The fans are happy and chant "USA" to support their favorite mini-milkman. Jake locks up the arm of DeBeers. DeBeers fights back with the knees and elbows in the corner. Stomps by DeBeers. Jake fights back with forearm shots and a power-slam for two. Jake climbs to the second rope, but misses a flying forearm drop. DeBeers with a kick and an elbow-smash for two. He pulls Jake up. Stomps, slams and knees by DeBeers for another two-count, but he puts Jake's foot on the ropes to break the count. DeBeers with more stomps and punches and it's the "Shades of Randy Orton" Chinlock of Doom! DeBeers with a knee for a two-count, but as is his method, he pulls Jake up at two. Facedriver by DeBeers for the easy pin.

Winner: Col. DeBeers

"Young Country" by Hank Williams Jr. is on the jukebox right now. I've always liked this song.

DeBeers decides that it's not over and continues the assault on Milliman. It's to the top rope for a clubbing shot with the fists. A few stomps and DeBeers is back up on the top rope again. Here comes Scott Hall and he shoves DeBeers from the top rope, causing him to tumble to the floor. Scott goes to check on Jake while DeBeers pulls himself up on the outside.

DeBeers is in the ring and Hall puts a whooping on him with punches, elbows, an elbow smash, a leg drop, a big airplane spin and finally a Cuban-styled Samoan Drop. A big elbow and DeBeers tumbles to the floor. Scott turns his back and goes to check on Jake Milliman. And here comes DeBeers, striking like a snake with his big stick that he liked to carry. He levels Hall with the stick and tosses Scott out of the ring to the floor. DeBeers follows Hall to the floor and Scott gets pancaked by a facedriver on to the concrete by DeBeers.

Here comes Curt Hennig out to save his partner. As Hennig and Milliman check on Hall, DeBeers is walking along the apron and in the ring twisting his mustache and gloating.

DeBeers is on the mic and says that Hall deserves that for meddling in South African affairs. He sees Scott's eyes trying to open, but they can't because a South African put his mark on Hall. DeBeers continues that Hall claims to be proud to be an American, but if the American legend is all that they say, he'd get up and get into the ring right now.

Curt Hennig has had enough and jumps up into the ring. He chases DeBeers around the ring and out of the ringside area. Meanwhile, back at the ranch, Larry Nelson is nearly in tears as he pleads for someone to get a stretcher out there for Hall. Hennig gets on the mic and demands a stretcher. A man is unconscious. Hennig has a moment of denial as he says, "This is not going on!".

We go to a commercial break. And a remake of "Gambler" by Kenny Rogers & Wyclef Jean comes up on the jukebox.

And now it's time for the main event.

"Paradise by the Dashboard Light" by Meatloaf just kicked in.

"The Living Legend" Larry Zbyszko, "Pretty Boy" Doug Somers, "Playboy" Buddy Rose (with Sherri Martel) vs. "Superfly" Jimmy Snuka, Mike Rotundo & Steve Pardee.

The special referee is Scott LeDoux. Remember that. It figures in later. As Nelson makes the introductions, Larry Zbyszko interrupts and says that last week, Rotundo wanted five more minutes with him. Well, here he is. Sherri Martel is arguing and in the face of the referee as LeDoux calls for the bell.

Pardee & Rose start off and Buddy immediately does his "one armed push-ups" shtick. Sherri applauds her man and his impressive feat of strength. Buddy grabs Pardee by the leg and then does a cartwheel. Sherri loves it and Buddy does the "Shades of Ric Flair - Wooo!" strut for his manageress. Pardee trips up Buddy by grabbing the legs and then wiggles his butt at Buddy. Hey, you can't make this stuff up, folks! Buddy gets disgusted that Pardee's butt-wiggle gets more cheers than his does and tags out to Somers.

"Still Gonna Die" by The Old Dogs (Waylon, Jerry Reed, Bobby Bare, Mel Tillis) has come up on the jukebox.

Somers tags in and goes after the arm of Pardee. Steve rolls out with a reversal. Somers and Rose go over to talk to their manager for advice as Pardee waits in the middle of the ring. Steve locks Somers in a headlock. Somers whips Pardee into the ropes and we see what looks like screw-up as Somers looked like he was going for a suplex, but Pardee was trying for a leap-frog. Anyhow, it ended up as a "Shades of Batista (cause it was flubbed)" Spinebuster. Pardee gets two.

Tag out to Jimmy Snuka. Snuka with a headlock and chop before tagging out to Rotundo. Rotundo throws some elbow shots and Somers escapes to his corner where he tags out to Larry Zbyszko. And we take a commercial break.

"That's My Job" by Conway is playing now.

Larry is slow to lock up with Rotundo. He's too busy arguing and stalling. Mike hits some punches and tags in Snuka. Larry Z. doesn't want any part of the "Superfly" and tags in Rose. Rose with some kicks and he slams Snuka's head into the corner. Snuka no-sells as Buddy begs off. Zbyszko has come over to complain to the announcers about Snuka. He doesn't trust Scott LeDoux in there. Snuka is in the ring cleaning house on Somers and Rose with headbutt after headbutt.

"Nobody Likes Me" by Alice Cooper is up on the jukebox.

Rose climbs back into the ring as Snuka tags out to Steve Pardee. Rose goes after the legs and flips Pardee into his corner. Zbyszko quickly tags in with stomps and a suplex. Somers tags in pounds away at Pardee. Somers gets some shots in from the outside as well. Pardee fights back on Somers, but Doug rips at the eyes before tagging out to Rose. Buddy in with chops and stomps. Snuka is in illegally and the referee makes him go back out of the ring. Rose, Somers and Zbyszko triple-team Pardee in their corner. Rose tags in and levels Pardee with a flying elbow and a big knee. He tries for a suplex, but Pardee blocks and drops Rose with a big suplex of his own. Both men are down, but manage to tag out to Somers & Rotundo.

Rotundo is in to clean house with punches and a big atomic drop on Somers. Snuka tags in with some big chops on Somers. Dropkick by Snuka and a tag out to Pardee. Scott hits an elbow to Somers, who quickly tags out to Zbyszko. Pardee throws some elbows, but misses a dropkick. Larry stomps away at Pardee and moves him into the corner where it's triple-team time. Larry chokes away at Pardee. Rotundo and Snuka are in and it's OINGO BOINGO time. Referee Scott LeDoux pulls Larry out of the corner and shoves him across the ring to get him off of Pardee. Zbyszko is rightfully incensed and charges LeDoux, who backdrops Zbyszko to the floor. Everyone is brawling with everyone as LeDoux calls for the bell.

Winners by DQ: Scott Pardee, Jimmy Snuka & Mike Rotundo

I don't know if I agree with this call. LeDoux is obviously biased and it seems to me that he just DQ'ed Zbyszko for no real reason. LeDoux laid his hands on Zbyszko first. Even Lord Blears questions the call by LeDoux, but then he quickly corrects himself to say it was the right call. I still don't agree, but it doesn't matter. The good guys win.

"Love's A Loaded Gun" by Alice Cooper is playing right now.

After the commercial break, Larry Nelson is back with "The Living Legend" Larry Zbyszko. He quickly gets in a shot at the fans, saying they get off on shouting obscenities because of their mentality. And then he rags on Scott LeDoux. LeDoux disqualified his team for no reason. Larry complains about how Snuka and Rotundo were ripping at eyes and cheating, but LeDoux didn't care about that. But he disqualified Zbyszko. Larry calls LeDoux a liar, a cheat, a loser, etc and says that LeDoux has manhandled him for the last time. Zbyszko says that he can't make LeDoux any uglier, but he can make him wiser. LeDoux wants to be a big shot, but he'll never make it. He's jealous of Zbyszko. Larry wants LeDoux any time and any place. He wants him right there!

And it ends there.

It was a fun show. "People Are Strange" by The Doors is playing right now. Two kind of blah matches, but the main event made up for it. I like seeing Zbyszko in these six-man matches. It's an odd assortment of wrestlers in the AWA and it's interesting to watch them mix in the ring. I still don't know who Steve Pardee is supposed to be, but Lord Blears obviously had a man-crush on him big time so that has to count for something. All in all, it was just a good show. I liked it.

"I'm Over You" by Keith Whitley just came up and I guess that's a good way to call it a day. Thanks for reading. Questions and comments can be sent to Doug28352@yahoo. com. Come visit me at MySpace at www.myspace. com/salt_ palace. Add me as a friend too. You know you want to.

And on that, I'm gone. See you tomorrow. Have a great day and always be a fan.

Ubuntu!