Tossing Salt Is RAW: April 18, 2011

Tossing Salt Is RAW
April 18, 2011
London, England

I'm Doug and it's time to do the recap thing one more time. The WWE is in London, England tonight and I'm here in my living room, watching the TV. And my computer is right in front of me. And this is Monday Night Raw. It's Michael Cole, Jim Ross and Jerry "The King" Lawler calling the action.

I wonder if Jerry will be attending the Royal Wedding that's coming up? After all, he is a "King". And J.R. can send some BBQ sauce as a gift. Give that whole affair some WWE attitude and class, just like all those other great wrestling wedding's we've seen over the years. I'd like to see it. And now, there ain't nothing to it but to do it. The action starts right now...

Here comes R-Truth to crank it up and open the show. He wants to know what's up? Cole is such a pinhead. I really hate rap music and R-Truth doesn't do it for me either. He wants some time to talk. He's happy. He's had problems, but now he's got a shot at the WWE Championship. He's going to win the triple-threat match and become the WWE Champion. And for the WWE Universe, he's going to fight anyone and everyone when he defends the title. And that's the truth.

And here comes John Morrison to the ring. I guess Melina let him off the ball and chain for a little while. J-Mo and Truth are happy to see each other. J-Mo is happy for Truth, but he says that Truth was lucky. Morrison said that Truth is not in the best of shape. We see video of Truth taking a water break during the match last week where he qualified. Truth says he's in great shape. Morrison starts to talking about how Truth smokes, but it doesn't make him a bad guy.

Truth says that John wants to take his opportunity. Morrison says that Truth is wrong and it's all about the draft next week and having a great match for the spot at the pay per view against Miz and Cena. Just some friendly trash talking back and forth. The fans want to see a fight between Morrison and Truth. Truth says that he needs two things. A bottle of water and a cigarette. Morrison says that Truth needs luck and calls for a ref. We've got a match.

Winner Goes To Triple Threat Match At Extreme Rules
R-Truth versus John Morrison

Truth stalls for a bit at the start and gets a bottle of water as we go to commerical. Paying the bills - that's what's up! We come back and Truth is trading arm-drags with Morrison. Truth with the headlock and a roll for two. Several near falls by Truth. Morrison with clotheslines, but Truth snags him for another two-count. Jawbreaker by J-Mo for a two count. Truth with jaw-breaker for two. Both men miss their moves and J-Mo goes to the top for the Starship Pain for the pin.

Winner: John Morrison

J-Mo celebrates, but offers Truth a hand in a show of sportsmanship. Truth pulls J-Mo from the turnbuckles and slams him to the mat. Truth with a big knee that knocks Morrison to the floor. Ouch! That hurt and that's the truth. Truth with another big knee on the outside of the ring. Truth talks trash to Morrison and shoves him to the ground. Truth drinks some water and then nails Morrison upside the head with the bottle. A chant of "R-Truth sucks" is going on. Truth pulls up Morrison and tells him that "you did this, John" before slamming hm down hard to the floor. The fans are booing and getting on Truth's case. He gets some cigs from a fan and lights up. Smoke 'em if you got 'em! Truth stands over Morrison and blows smoke on him before breaking out with a big smile. He flicks his cig onto John before walking to the back.

Man, that was a long segment and ran about five minutes longer than it needed to be. It just seemed like it took forever. But Truth is now a heel, I guess. And Morrison is going to wrestle in the main event at Extreme Rules against John Cena and The Miz. Makes for a better match than the original one scheduled, so no complaints.

Just a note here. The last two wrestlers I saw smoking in the ring were The Giant (Big Show) in WCW and The Sandman in ECW. And now R-Truth. Guess that puts him in pretty elite company. Nah, both Big Show and Sandman are much better performers. At least they were exciting. Truth? What's up?

Next week is the WWE 2011 Draft - it's time to shake things up. Should be fun.

We get to see a replay of R-Truth beating up John Morrison, as if making us suffer through that one time already wasn't enough. Jim Ross and Jerry Lawler analyze R-Truth. Next match. Here comes Vickie. "Excuse me!"

Evan Bourne versus Dolph Ziggler w/ Vickie Guerrero

Dolph has a new haircut and hair color and allegedly a new attitude as well. Vickie is all smiles as she talks junk to Evan Bourne. We get some fast action to start and both these guys can really move. Dolph catches Evan with a dropkick off the ropes for two before tying Evan up with a version of the surfboard and some elbow drops for good measure. Dolph misses an elbow and Evan starts to fly for two. Big kick by Evan and he goes to the top. Evan misses Air-Bourne and Ziggler hits the Zig-Zag to get the pin.

Winner: Dolph Ziggler w/ Vickie Guerrero

Dolph looks like a whole different person. We see some advertising for the All-Stars video game. Michael Cole says that he's getting knighted by the Queen of England and will join the ranks of Sir Elton John and Sir Paul McCartney. What? He's a washed up rock and roller now? Cole reminds me more of Sir William (obscure WCW reference). I can't wait to see what kind of stupidity that this involves and how the London crowd reacts. Should be interesting.

WWE Rewind: SIn Cara had a run in with Sheamus and made an impact. He also showed up Jack Swagger and had a great match with Primo.

Lawler and Jim Ross introduce a video package in honor of the 11-time WWE / World Champion Edge. Great package for one of the WWE's greatest superstars. You will be missed, Edge. And thank you, Adam Copeland, for all of your sacrifices over the past eighteen years. Good luck and God bless. This is a great video package. Alberto Del Rio is throwing Edge a retirement party this Friday on Smackdown. That should be interesting.

Here comes The Miz and Alex Riley. And the "Awesome One" is going to talk. He's been preparing to wrestle R-Truth and John Cena. But R-Truth made a bad decision and his actions affect the Miz. Now, Miz has to face Cena and Morrison... in a steel cage. Miz describes different scenarios for the match and points out that he doesn't have to lose to lose the title. He wants the Raw GM to make things right and gets a chair to hold a sit-down protest in the ring. He vows to sit there all night until the GM changes the stipulations and protects him and his title. We go to commercial.

We come back and Miz is still in the ring and he's talking and holding a filibuster. At the end of the match at Extreme Rules, Miz vows he will still be the WWE Champion because he's awesome. Here comes Sin Cara.

He actually cleared the top rope this time with his jump. Good job by the masked luchadore. And here comes John Cena to the ring. The crowd goes nuts. Is this a tag match now? And the GM finally chimes in. It's a tag match. And it starts now.

Alex Riley & The Miz versus John Cena & Sin Cara

Cena pounds away at Riley to start. Alex flees to the floor. And we go to a commerical. Figures! We come back from the break and Cena is still beating up on Riley. Miz catches Cena with a clothesline and some kicks, leading to a suplex for two. Riley in and it's fist city for John Cena. Riley with a clothesline and it's time to tak some junk. Miz with kicks to Cena as he stomps a mudhole in the former champ. Alex back in and Cena with a huge slam. Cena with hot tag to Sin Cara. Cara goes after Miz with fists and a back elbow. It's all Sin Cara who takes on both men. Riley pulls Cara off the apron and to the floor. It's the Miz in control now as he uses knees and gives Sin Cara a beatdown. Cara with a roll-up for two. Miz tags Riley in for the double-team. Riley with a clothesline for two and some one-man clubbering. Miz tags in and we see the double-team again. Miz with the beatdown, but misses the corner clothesline. Riley and Cena are both tagged in and it's Super-Cena time. Five knuckle and the A.A. by Cena. Cara tags in with the moonsault for the pin.

Winners: John Cena and Sin Cara

Later tonight, Michael Cole gets knighted and Randy Orton takes on CM Punk in a Wrestlemania rematch. The New Nexus is banned from ringside. Next week is the 2011 WWE Draft, live on USA on RAW from Raleigh, NC. Maybe we'll get rid of Cole and have Jim Ross back full time on RAW. One can only hope.

We see the promo air for the former Awesome Kong. And she's still playing with dolls. Awesome!

Diva Match
Eve Torres versus Nikki Bella (with Brie)

Brie Bella has the mic and says that she's looking forward to their return match, but it might not happen if Eve goes to Smackdown. Eve just takes over and dominates on Nikki from the start. Eve misses a baseball slide and Brie interferes from the outside. Nikki takes over and goes for the chinlock, followed by a slam to the mat. Eve with an elbow and kick. A roll-up by Eve for the pin.

Winner: Eve Torres

Michael Cole comes out of his cage and talks junk. The draft is next week. In two weeks, it's the Royal Wedding. And in a few minutes, he will be knighted "Sir Michael Cole". We see a commercial for the new DX 3-Disc DVD set (available at WWEshop.com and stores near you) and then it's commercial time. You know what I miss? The old "Booker T" commercials for "Hungry Man" dinners. Those were funny.

WWE Slam Of The Week: Jerry Lawler beats Jack Swagger last week on RAW. Michael Cole slaps Jack Swagger. We see Cole protect Swagger in the Battle Royal at Smackdown.

Michael Cole is in the ring and he brings out Jack Swagger. Swagger comes out wearing a suit. Jack and Cole shake hands and hug. Swagger drapes a royal style cape around Cole's shoulders and reads a proclamation, complete with the "Hear ye, Hear ye!". Tonight, Cole becomes "Sir Michael Cole". Tonight, we get a knighting ceremony. And Jack Swagger introduces a Queen Elizabeth look-a-like who comes to the ring. Cole kneels and the fake-Queen starts to talk, but the crowd isn't buying it. Queen Fake-Is-Beth "knights" Cole with a sword tap on the shoulders. The psuedo-Queen gets kissed on the mouth by Cole and she likes it. The "Queen" leaves and Cole wants some applause, trying to get a chant from the crowd of "Sir Michael Cole". We get a lot of "What?" Cole calls the crowd "peasants". Cole wants Jim Ross and Jerry Lawler to show respect and kiss his feet. Cole bares his foot.

Swagger attacks Jerry Lawler as he gets into the ring and gives Jerry a royal beatdown before tossing him into the ringside barrier. Jim Ross is alone with Cole and Swagger. Swagger grabs Ross. Ross tells Cole to go to hell. Swagger with the ankle lock on Ross and Jim Ross's face is forced down on to Cole's bare feet. Cole and Swagger celebrate his newfound royal status as we go to commercals.

WWE supports the Make-A-Wish Foundation and brags about it with a video package. Many kudos to the WWE.

Did you know that a lot of people watched the premiere of Tough Enough.

Josh Matthews is out to help Cole with the commentary.

Santino Marella versus United States Champion Sheamus

Last time they were in England, Santino embarassed Sheamus. Now, Sheamus wants revenge. Sheamus with knees and stomps. More kicks by the pale one, followed by a clothesline. It's all White Bread with Mayo. Elbows by Sheamus before locking up the arm and then a "Shades of Randy Orton" chinlock. Sheamus with some clubbering. Santino escapes, but Sheamus continues to dominate. Sheamus misses a dive into the corner. Santino goes for the Cobra, but Sheamus plants a big kick into Santino's face for the pin.

Winner: Sheamus

We take another look at the R-Truth / John Morrison fiasco from the start of the show. We see CM Punk and Randy Orton in the back and they're walking to the ring. Their match is up next.

CM Punk versus Randy Orton

Punk starts off with the headlock. Randy with fists and forearm shots, followed by some stomps. Randy does some clubbering, but Punk comes back with the fists and some knees. Randy with the clothesline and a powerslam. It's RKO time, but Punk counters by tossing Randy away. And we go to a commercial.

We're back and Punk hits a slam before locking Orton in a front facelock and then some stomps for a two count. Punk with a suplex for another two. It's chinlock time. Punk with a big knee to the gut and some stomps. Randy goes to the floor and Punk follows with a clothesline off the ring apron. It's all CM Punk at this point. Punk gets a two count. Randy with a quick roll up for two. Punk with the snapmares and he locks Randy up, hoping for the submission. Randy screams and struggles to break free. It's fist city by Orton and it's comeback time. But Punk hits a knee and resumes control Randy counters and gets a two-count. Punk with a bulldog for a two count. followed by some kicks. Randy with the backbreaker and a slam for two. Punk snares Randy on the top rope. Punk flies with a clothesline for two. Punk to the top, but Randy catches him. Super-plex time by Orton. Randy covers for a two. Randy with kicks and the middle-rope DDT, but Punk escapes and goes for the GTS to get a two count. Punk is frustrated. Punk goes for GTS again, but Randy counters and uses a school-boy roll-up to get the pinfall and win.

Winner: Randy Orton

The New Nexus is out and it's OINGO BOINGO tie as they all attack Randy Orton. It's Nexus beatdown time by Mason Ryan, David Otunga and Michael McGillicutty. Ryan plants Orton into the mat and Punk talks junk to Orton's fallen body. Ryan winds up and looks like he's going to punt Orton, but Punk stops him. Punk talks to Ryan and gives him direction. Punk decides that he wants to give Randy a punt to the head. Punk charges, but then runs into a RKO by Orton, who then escapes to the floor.

And we go to credits.

Damn, that was a long show. For the past two months or so, RAW has been on a roll and the shows just flew by, but tonight, there was something missing and it just seemed to take forever for the show to end. It wasn't a bad show, but it definitely wasn't one of the better shows either.

Anyhow, that's the RAW recap for tonight. I hope you enjoyed it. Questions and comments can be sent to Doug28352@yahoo.com. Come visit me at Facebook at www.facebook.com/saltpalace.

I'm Doug and on that note, I am out of here. Until the next time, "dat is all de' people need to know!" Have a great night.

Ubuntu!