Attack Of The Breast Monsters

(Originally written May 13, 2006)

The past couple of days around here have been really warm. And guess what! The breasts are already out in full force.

I worked 3rd shift on both Friday and Saturday night and I swear, I saw more breasts coming into my store on those two nights than Hugh Hefner probably does in a good week. The people were all out clubbing and celebrating the weekend and warm weather. And of course, that means putting on the sluttiest outfitss they can find, leaving nothing to the imagination and going out to get their groove on.

I don't mind bare skin - I love to see a shirtless guy with a little six-pack kicking and a hairy trail leading down from his belly-button to .... anyhow! No shirts or shoes - no problem. But I just have no great desire to see mammoth boobs of all shapes and sizes crammed into little tops about three sizes too small and they're thrust in my face - pointing at me while I ring my customers up.

I do appreciate a nice looking lady who dresses sexy. That's cool. But when a three-hundred pound woman comes into the store wearing a halter-top (way too small) with the belly exposed and a mini-skirt.. that is just too much to deal with. And the little hoodlinks and thugs all think that's sexy? Geez!

I deal with this stuff every weekend. I guess it's "see how slutty and trashy I can look before going out to find my next baby's daddy"... Who knows!

And (no lie) one of these skankasaruses really went over the line this past Saturday night. She was wearing a little mini-skirt and a white tank-top t-shirt - both too small and her easily 325lbs of flesh crammed into those clothes. She went to the candy aisle to get something and bent over - and the guys in line all went nuts. No panties and everything (AND I DO MEAN "EVERYTHING") was exposed for the world so see.

And she just took her time and gave everyone a show. I was ringing up customers and wishing there was some way to gouge out my eyes right about then.

And this is only March. As the weather gets warmer, it will get worse and worse. The women will get bigger and bigger and the clothes fewer and fewer. I need to get some new glasses, but everytime I think about those "customers" - I think I can hold off just a while longer. After all, when dealing with all that, sight isn't necessarily a wonderful thing.