(This is a repost from my MySpace blog from February 7, 2006)
Ever since I was sixteen years old, I've been working in convenient stores. To say I've seen quite a few strange things is an understatement, as any person who has dealt with the public on a regular basis can tell you. From now on, every so often, I'm going to spill the beans on what really goes on behind the scenes at your local convenient store. Every story is true. This all really happened. These are "Real Life Stories From Convenient Store Hell!". Only the names have been changed to protect the not-so innocent.
THE CANING INCIDENT!
This happened a few years ago at a c-store that I worked at. It gives you a good idea of both the people I worked with and our customers. It was right around Christmas time and I was working the third shift, as usual. It was Friday night so the store was actually busy (as opposed to most nights when the only people out were newspaper carriers and police officers.)
Around 1:00am, a young man we'll call Danny came into the store. Danny was a regular customer and he was drunk. Very drunk. He was on his way home (he didn't live far from the store) and stopped in to get something to eat. He also wanted to use the restroom.
Our store did not have public restrooms. All we had was a bathroom for employees only that was in the back of the store, off the stock room. Danny asked to use the bathroom. He could barely walk and looked like he was ready to get sick, so I just told him to go on to the restroom. No problem.
Well, it got really busy immediately after that and I totally forgot that Danny had gone into the back of the store. Around thirty minutes or so later, a fellow employee of mine, who we'll call "P", came bursting into the store. She had been out drinking and had to use the bathroom. With a very quick nod to me, she went on to the back room and towards the restroom. That's when I remembered that Danny was back there. I started to go back there, but customers started coming in so I ended up going to wait on them first.
"P" came out a few minutes later and was laughing. "Why is Danny passed out in the bathroom?" I told her that he had come in drunk and went to use the bathroom and I had forgotten about him when things had gotten busy. Well, "P" told me that he was laying on the floor, totally passed out in the bathroom. She tried to wake him up, but he just mumbled something and rolled over. "P" told me to give her a candy cane off our store's Christmas tree and she'd be right back. I went to go wait on a customer while she went back to the back again. About a minute later, she came out laughing and told me that when Danny wakes up, tell him that "P" said "thanks for the show". She also mentions that she left him a present. Then "P" said goodbye to me and headed on out of the store.
Well, it was 2:00am now and since alcohol sales ended at 2:00, things died in the store. I decided to lock the door and go check on Danny and also, see what "P" had done. I went to the restroom and opened the door. Danny was laying passed out on the bathroom floor with his pants down around his ankles.
And there, hanging on his manhood, was the candy cane that "P" had gotten moments earlier. Danny had been "caned".
I just broke up laughing. About this time, Danny started to stir, so I went back up to the front and re-opened the store, and tried to act like I didn't know anything.
I heard some noise in the back and here comes Danny, staggering out of the back. He mumbled something about "passing out" and was looking at me mighty strange. He asked if anyone had been back in the back while he was there. I mentioned "P" had gone back there, but I then played dumb and tried to get him to tell me what was up. He just mumbled something about "candy" and gave me another one of those looks like he wanted to say something, but wouldn't. I asked him if he "wanted a candy cane" and he just kind of got a sick look on his face and walked out, mumbling something about how he'll "see me tomorrow!". And then I lost it. I just broke up laughing. I haven't laughed that much in a while.
"P" told me that Danny came in the next afternoon while she was working and asked her about the night before. She told him she had left the "present" for him. He was sure that I had done it. That's why he was looking at me so weird.
To this day, I have never let him forget about being caned in the bathroom of our store. One little note to all this. Danny quit drinking for a long time after that night. And I think he still gets a little jumpy when someone mentions candy canes.
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