Tossing Salt Is Smackdown: June 3, 2011

Tossing Salt Is Smackdown
June 3, 2011
Doug Maynard

And just when you thought it was safe to come back to the computer, here we go again. It's the WWE and it's Friday Night Smackdown on the SyFy Network. Summer is here and things are getting hot, hot, hot and I'm not just talking about in the world of professional wrestling and WWE. Friday nights used to mean drinking with the friends, fishing all night long and partying like it was 1999 (even when it was really 1999). But now, Friday night means Randy Orton, Christian, Sheamus, Cody Rhodes and the rest of the WWE Superstars. I really need to get a life again. Let's get right to it and it's time to take that trip to the pay window, to the land of Pier Six Brawls, Crimson Masks and getting funky like a monkey. Wait, that was WCW Saturday Night. I miss that show. Gordon Solie was the master and Ole Anderson was pure evil at it's best. And now, we get Josh Matthews, Michael Cole and Booker T. Oh vey!

This is the WWE. This is Friday night. It's taped from Des Moines, Iowa and airing on SyFy. I am Doug and this is "Tossing Salt Is Smackdown!" Let's do it!

Tonight on Smackdown,Randy Orton defends the World Championship against The Celtic Warrior, Sheamus. And Wade Barrett defends the Intercontinental Championship. We start off with action.

Christian versus Mark Henry

Christian has a new t-shirt. Finally! Let the Peeps rejoice. We finally get to change our clothes. Mark uses the power for the early advantage,but Christian throws the fists. Mark to the arms and with some kicks. Christian dives to the outside and Henry catches him on the outside before tossing him back in the ring. Wow! Shades of the original "World's Strongest Man, Ken Patera". He's strong. It's all Mark Henry in control and just kicks away at the Peeple's Champ. Henry clamps in a "Shades of Muta" nervelock on the nech before missing a splash. Christian fights back with kicks and elbows. Henry uses a clothesline to send Christian to the floor. Christian moves and Henry hits the announce table. Christian with a splash, but Henry catches him and goes for slam. Christian escapes and hits Unprettier for the pin.

Winner: Christian

Later tonight, Big Zeke takes on Wade Barrett to go after the Intercontinental title. Christian has a microphone and he'll talk after the commercial break.

Christian has the mic. He just beat Mark Henry and that's not easy. He wanted a different victory tonight. Sheamus is facing Orton and he feels it should be him. We see footage from last week. Ref was distracted when Christian had Shemaus pinned. Video doesn't lie. He had Sheamus beat. Christian isn't blaming anyone. He wants one more chance to become the champ. And here is Teddy Long.

Teddy saw the footage. He agrees that Christian was a victim of circumstance. Christian wants to be Number One Contender. The fans agree. The don't particularly care for Sheamus. Teddy feels the pain, but he can't change things. Christian suggests a triple threat match. Teddy has been deliberating this situation. Sheamus won and gets to face Orton. But to make sure that there are no circumstances tonight, Christian is the special guest referee. Holla Holla Holla! Christian doesn't seem very happy about that. We cut to the anouncers who talk about Sheamus and we get a video highlight reel of the pale man known as the Celtic Warrior. Later tonight, it's Orton versus Sheamus and Christian is the special guest referee.

Last time we had a guest referee in the WWE, it was Bret Hart on RAW a few weeks ago. Bret cheated to help Cena and Rey beat Punk and Truth. Will Christian cheat? And if so, who will he cheat for? I guess we'll find out later. Why doesn't Teddy be the guest referee? He's got plenty of experience in that role. Holla Holla Holla! Can you hear me, playa?

Alicia Fox & Tamina (w/ Rosa Mendez) versus Kaitlyn & A.J. (w/ Natayla)

Tamina is a bully with shoves and kicks, but misses a splash. Alicia tags in and she fights A.J. Alicia with a knee and Tamina tags back in with kicks and a slam. She knocks Kaitlyn to the floor and Tamina plants A.J. for the win.

Winners: Tamina & Alicia Fox w/Rosa Mendez

Randy Orton is in the back looking all serious and wicked. No one in the WWE likes a bully, unless it's for a good storyline... or a good laugh. They make sure we know that and can learn more at WWE.com or by checking out their "Be A Star" site. I remember when Heidenreich bullied Michael Cole. That was a great WWE moment, although Cole might not agree. The Rock was a bully too, but he was electrifying, so that was cool too. The Horsemen were bullies and proud of it. But they weren't WWE. They were just the very best in the business. And that's all that really mattered.

A Sin Cara video airs. And no one cares. Just another short guy in a mask. Here comes Cody Rhodes and his "bag men". We see video from last week where Daniel Bryan made Cody tap out, but got "bagged" for his trouble. Cody says that winning isn't everything. Losers say that. Stats may say that Bryan won that match, but they're wrong. Bryan was humiliated and lost. Bryan is so dull, he looks like a member of the audience, he's a loser. He tells the baggers to get busy and distribute the bags to the fans. He continues to trash Daniel Bryan with his monologue. Up later, Ted DiBiase takes on Daniel Bryan.

Great Khali is in the back. We see film from last week as Kane beats Khali. Jinder Mahal comes out and beats on Khali's brother. Khali puts his little brother in the vice and lays him out. Matt Striker asks Khali what made him so abusive to his brother last week. Jinder is here and takes over the interview. He's taking his first step towards immortality. Jinder and Khali leave.

This Monday, it's the live season finale of Tough Enough, hosted by Stone Cold Steve Austin. It's "Cool Hand" Luke versus "Silent Rage". And all the other Tough Enough contestants are back as well. Should be good. Watch it. I wonder if any former TE folks will be there? How about Nidia? How about Daniel Puder? I want to see Linda Miles and see if she's still nuts.

Did you know that a lot of people watch Smackdown on the SyFy network.

Jinder Mahal w/ The Great Khali versus Yoshi Tatsu

Yoshi gets a good pop coming out. Jinder with kicks and punches. It's fist city as he just dominates Yoshi. Neckbreaker by Jinder for a two count. It's clubbering time. And a cover for three after a full nelson suplex slam. Total squash. Poor Yoshi. We barely knew you...

Winner: Jinder Mahal

Khali puts Tatsu in the vice grip and puts him out on the mat after the match as Jinder gives orders. Khali raises Jinder's hand in victory. Coming up next, Wade Barrett defends the IC title against Ezekiel Jackson. We see a commerical for "That's What I Am", starring "The Viper" Randy Orton. It's on DVD and BluRay at the Wal-Mart. And incidentially, finally did break down and see it a few days ago. It's actually a really good and entertaining movie. Check it out.

Josh and the others plus Capital Punishment and we get the stupid dream sequence plugging the pay per view. It's not funny anymore. Give it up already! The PPV is on June 19th. Get it over with already. Let's go to the ring.

Intercontinental Championship
Wade Barrett (c) versus Ezekial Jackson

Wade is alone tonight with no Corre members at ringside. Wade with kicks and punches in the corner. Zeke reverses and does the beatdown on Wade. Zeke with the elbow for two. It's all Zeke, but Wade with a knee to the face. Wade with a side-slam for a two count. Wade locks in a reverse chinlock. "Shades of Bob Backlund" atomic drop by Wade. Zeke fights back and takes over with clotheslines. A big splash in the corner and Zeke starts with the multi-slams. Zeke with the torture rack, but Wade goes to the eyes and ropes to escape. Wade goes to the floor. Here comes Gabriel and Slater to the ring and they surround the ring. The ref counts Wade out.

Winner by Count Out: "Big Zeke" Jackson (Barrett retains the IC title!)

Justin and Heath charge the ring and attack Big Zeke. Wade just walks away to the back while Zeke cleans house and sends the Corre guys back up the ramp. Matt Striker asks Sheamus about having Christian as the special referee. Christian walks by and Sheamus chases him down to talk to him. Sheamus tells Christian that he was robbed and that Sheamus would have had a triple threat match. Christian calls Sheamus a liar. Sheamus threatens Christian. Christian tells Sheamus that he'll be calling the match down the middle and tells Sheamus to quit worrying about him as the referee and to start worrying about Randy Orton instead.

There's an interview with Eve at WWE.com. Here comes Daniel Bryan as we go to a match.

Daniel Bryan versus Ted DiBiase

It looks like Teddy is alone. I was expecting to see Cody out with him. Some amateur back and forth and Daniel scores with a dropkick for two. Lots of great wrestling and Ted gets a two count. Ted with the fists and some "Shades of Wahoo" chops. Ted with a kick, but misses a dropkick. Daniel with a kick to the chest for two. And here comes Cody Rhodes and the "Baggers". And we go to a commercial.

Ted with a surfboard on Bryan. We see a replay and during the break, Teddy hit a "Shades of Double A" spinebuster to take the advantage. Teddy takes Bryan and wraps him around the steel ringpost. Fist city and it's all DiBiase with the hard whip to the corner. Ted with the shoulders in the corner. Daniel with a backflip off the top and a clothesline to take the advantage. Daniel with kicksand a hurracurrana. But Teddy holds on and gets two. Teddy comes back for another two count. Ted DiBiase gets knocked to the floor and Bryan scores with a suicide dive which connects. Daniel and Cody eyeball each other. Bryan to the top and Cody catches him with a dropkick for a two count. Ted goes for the Million Dollar Dream, but Bryan escapes and locks in the LaBelle lock for the submission.

Winner: Daniel Bryan

Cody goes into the room and does the beatdown on Daniel Bryan. Teddy joins in the fun. And here comes Sin Cara and he clears the ring for the save. Bryan and Sin Cara stand tall in the ring and challenge Ted DiBiase and Cody to return to the ring. Why does Sin Cara's music have to hit before he comes out to make the save? I hate that when it happens. It almost makes it seem like it was pre-planned or something. Sin Cara is a high flying little guy, but I've got news for him. He's no Super Crazy. He's not super... or crazy. Just saying. Too bad that he (legit) hurt Chavo because I was looking forward to seeing that feud continue. Chavito is de' man!

Did you know that the WWE has a lot of friends on Facebook. So do I and I want more. It's www.facebook.com/saltpalace. Add me. Be happy!

WWE Raw Rebound: R-Truth talks trash and destroys some John Cena merchandise. Truth doesn't like John Cena or "Little Jimmy". Truth beats Cena by a count-out and gives "The Jimmy's" a drink bath. I love it! And that's the truth.

Johnny Curtis is in the back and he talks about winning NXT Season 4. He's upset because he's not getting to wrestle his mentor, R-Truth, so Curtis does what anyone would do. He pours some milk in a pan and pours it over himself. I guess he's "crying over spilled milk". Lame ass way to get the point across. Michael Cole spills the news that because of his victory over Cena on RAW, Truth will face Cena at the PPV in two weeks for the WWE Championship, but only if R-Truth apologizes for his behavior in soaking the "Jimmy's". And it's time for the main event.

World Heavyweight Championship Match
Special Referee: Christian
Randy Orton (c) versus Sheamus

Long lock up and Sheamus takes control with the headlock. Sheamus with the knee and shoulders. Forearms by Randy. Randy with the clothesline and some fists. Stomps by Randy and Sheamus to the floor. Randy follows for some brawling on the outside. Randy gets a two. Sheamus with fists and an elbow for two. Back to the outside and Sheamus rams Orton into the ringpost. Sheamus gets a two count. And we go to a commercial.

We come back and Sheamus is working over Orton's neck. Big knee by Sheamus for a two count. Sheamus does some clubbering and pounds on Orton's chest for two. Front facelock by the Celtic Warrior. Randy with a suplex to come back. Orton with a kick to the face and a clothesline. Vintage Orton for a two count. Sheamus with a kick to the leg and up to the top. Orton with fists and a "Shades of the Super Destroyer" superplex for a two count. Orton goes for a DDT, but Sheamus hits a shoulder for a two count. Running power slam by Sheamus for two. Orton grabs the legs and gets a two. Backbreaker by Sheamus for another two. Sheamus misses the kick and Randy hits a DDT. He's ready for it. Randy misses the RKO and Sheamus takes control. Sheamus hits Christian with a shoulder by accident. Christian teases a DQ, but tells Sheamus to continue. Boot by Sheamus and he covers. Christian counts two and stops. He's "injured". Sheamus argues with Christian because he had Randy covered for at least a five or six count. Christian still plays off that he is "injured" from the earlier collision. Randy is up and coming back and hits the RKO for the pin.

Winner and STILL Champion: Randy Orton

And here it comes as Christian lays out Randy Orton with the World Title belt. Christian stands over Randy and raises the title in the air, telling Randy that "I can beat you, Randy. I can beat you!". And Christian walks from the ring with the World Championship Belt on his shoulder. Christian holds up the title as the show ends. Finally,it's the return of the "Age of Awesomeness" as "Captain Charisma" is back.

And that's it. The end of another great show by the WWE. The Diva match sucked and made no sense, but the rest of the show was rather good, with no wasted motion. Every match and every interview and every action had a purpose in either continuing a storyline or else building to the PPV. Well, everything but that Johnny Curtis moment. That was just dumb.

And that's it for my recap as well. I hope you enjoyed. I'm Doug and I am out of here, my friends. Until the next time, take it easy and always be a fan. Ubuntu!