Broaden Your Thinking
If you had to choose death by an elephant or a lion, which would you choose?
A lion would involve biting, chewing and probably being clawed mangled to death. The elephant would either smash with the trunk or just sit on and crush - which would probably be quicker and less painful in the long run. Why can't I just go in my sleep like everyone else does? Geez! The elephant death wins.
If you were stranded on an island with the one person you couldn't stand, what would you do?
Either learn to get along, work together and cooperate or else die - I'd prefer to put aside the differences and survive.
The doorbell rings, it's the pizza man. You didn't order pizza. What do you say?
Hey Kenneth, what you doing in my neighborhood? Come on in. You got any pizza with you? Want a beer?
If the President said that grass couldn't be green anymore and everyone needed to vote on a new color, what color would you choose?
I would never vote for anything the current President says. I'd petition and protest and use my First Amendment right to call him a socialist pinko ass-clown. And then I'd suggest purple. I like purple.
You're with your friends at the movies when all of the sudden ninjas fall from the ceiling. What do you do?
Duck and cover and hope they don't see me when I haul ass and get the hell out of dodge.
Is Barney your favorite dinosaur?
Barney sucks!! I like Dino (from the Flintstones) better. Remember the baby in the sitcom "Dinosaurs"? "Not the mama, not the mama!" - he was cool!
Why are baby cats called kittens but baby lions are called cubs?
I don't know - they're all just kittys to me... lol
If you were President for the day, what's one thing you would do?
Make a speech, have a great lunch with the President of Russia and resign. I never did handle responsibily well.
If you could create a new world, what would it consist of?
Lots of pretty colors, rainbows and unicorns and orange spiders. No hatred or prejidice allowed - people would be happy, well fed and content and the air would smell of happiness and cotton candy. And everyone would have a pet cat, except for the dog lovers. We'd give them all hamsters. Water would taste like beer or pepsi (variety) and there would be a Chinese buffet or KFC on every corner. Pitcure a mixture of Gilligan's Island mixed with Oz mixed with paradise, but nothing like that.
If NASA found it to be safe to live on Mars, would you go?
It'd be a nice place to visit, but I wouldn't want to leave there.
It's late. You're home alone. You hear something creepy. You're scared too move, but your phone is next to you. Who do you call?
Who ya gonna call? GHOSTBUSTERS!
If you had to choose between working at a junk yard or a truck stop, which would you choose?
Truck Stop - meet new people every day with stories to tell. It'd be exciting. A junk yard would just be messy and dirty and you'd have to spend all of your time running off Fat Albert and the Gang! Hey Hey Hey!
Is love really a battlefield?
At times, it can be.
Have you ever eaten a rotten apple?
Not that I can recall.
If online dating was the only way to find a date, what website would you choose?
Craigslist - only because I've had so much success there so far... lol.
If Facebook started charging tomorrow, what is the most you would pay per month?
I wouldn't - I'd say thanks but no thanks and head back over to my often neglected, but old reliable profile over at MySpace. And the Yahoo groups are still there too. I'd get by quite well.
Ever made up a crazy story and told it to someone who actually believed it?
Yeppers.
If you could be on any TV show, what would it be?
The Jerry Springer Show... lol. Nah, just kidding. Too old for that now. Maybe a recurring role on NCIS, NCIS LA or Sons Of Anarchy..
If all schooling and salaries were the same, would you rather be a teacher, lawyer, astronaut or actor?
An astronaut - then I could sing "Fly Me To The Moon" and mean it... lol
Would you rather have a pet skunk or pet porcupine?
A skunk - just have the scent glands removed and you've got a cat with a fuzzy tail. They can be litter box trained and are actually very intelligent and lovely animals. A porcupine would just be too dangerous to let sit in your lap - OUCH!!
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