(Retro) Tossing Salt - Worldwide News: 2008 Achievement Awards (Part 1)

Tossing Salt - Worldwide News
The 2008 Achievement Awards - Part 1
January 9, 2008
Doug Maynard

Sorry for the long delay since the last column. Things have been crazier than usual and between the holidays, my monkey-job, and my volunteer work at the church (no, that's not a typo - it's a long story), there just hasn't been much time to play "Internet wrestling journalist" (whatever that is) or devote much time to the "King of Sports".

But I'm back again (for now) and it's time to take a look back at the movers and shakers that rock and rolled in the year 2008. Yep, you heard that right. This is my "end of year / year in review" column. Yep, it's time for "The Tossing Salt Worldwide News 2008 Achievement Awards", or as I like to refer to them, "The Saltys".

It's a "Year in Review" type deal that pays homage in it's own way to the Slammys, The Grammys, The Oscars and the People's Choice Awards all at the same time. And it's just as fair and legit as Vince McMahon and his Slammy Awards. So there you go.

I gathered up the entire staff of "Tossing Salt Media, Inc." and we had a big group discussion, which is kind of easy when most of them are just voices from inside my head in the first place. Who says schizophrenia is a bad thing?

And we (I) came up with 25 different categories, a list of nominees for each category, and an eventual winner.. all in the matter of just a just moments. (Crazy and time efficient - yeah, I am that good!) And I'll go down the list of categories, mention the nominees and tell you why each person or persons deserve to win the biggest non-prize in Internet wrestling history, "The Salty". Does this sound like a plan or what?

So get put on your tie if you're a dude or your best dress if you're a female reader (or a gentleman with kinky tastes) and get ready. Hell, I'm even wearing a tie as I write this. True, I'm also only wearing boxers and a t-shirt as well, but I do have on the tie. So you know this is big.

I'm Doug and these are the "Tossing Salt - Worldwide News 2008 Achievement Awards". Yep, it's time for...

THE SALTYS...

Let's get started, shall we.

WWE Superstar Of The Year: And the nominees are: Batista, Edge, John Cena and The Undertaker. And the winner is...

Edge.

Cena spent some time out on the shelf with an injury. Batista just never has really appealed much to me, although he's been better recently than he was in the past. And Undertaker has really only been in two feuds this year, against Edge and Big Show. He had a fantastic match with Jeff Hardy a few weeks ago, but Taker just isn't really a full time player these days.

And then there is Edge. Even though he took some time off earlier this year, when Undertaker sent him to "hell", Edge had been, by far among the best and most consistent characters in the WWE for quite some time. When he came back from his "sabbatical", he picked up right where he left off and his reign of greatness continued. It took him a while, but the former "Sexton Hardcastle" has really become one of the true "top dogs" in the business and I don't see him letting off or slowing down anytime soon. That's why he's the Salty WWE Superstar of the Year. And he definitely deserves this honor.

TNA Superstar Of The Year: And the nominees are: Kurt Angle, Samoa Joe, AJ Styles, and Jeff Jarrett. And the winner is...

AJ Styles.

Double J is only a part time performer at best. Kurt dominated the TNA picture for so long, it was pretty was Total-Nonstop-Angle for a while there. And he got on my nerves. Samoa Joe won his first TNA World Championship, but was presented as a whiny, bitchy ass-clown by the booking rather than as the bad-ass, kitten eating, S.O.B. he should have been.

So that leaves the man himself, the TNA Original, AJ Styles. Whether doing his comedy bit with the crown while part of "Team Angle", teaming with Tomko as part of what was a totally dominate and awesome team, or now, as leader of the "Front Line" in the battles against the "Main Event Mafia" (I really do hate these names that TNA seems to pick for their factions), AJ has really stood out as one of the best and most consistent things about TNA. And he's truly deserving to be named the Salty TNA Superstar of the Year.

WWE Tag Team Of The Year: And the nominees are: Hawkins & Ryder - The Edgeheads, Primo & Carlito Colon, Simply Priceless (DiBiase & Rhodes), CM Punk & Kofi Kingston, The Miz & John Morrison. And the winners are...

The Miz & John Morrison.

It's well known that the WWE is not really big on tag team wrestling, despite the facts that they have numerous established teams in their ranks and several make-shift tag teams as well that work together like a fine tuned piece of machinery and can really perform in that ring.

But as good as all of these teams are, one team, it seems, stood head and tails above the rest in the WWE. Though they're officially listed as "ECW Superstars", The Miz and John Morrison regularly appear on both RAW and SmackDown as well, to stir the pot and create controversy. They're great heels and the current WWE Tag Team Champions as well. And look at Miz and how much he's improved from just a year ago to now. It's like night and day for this young man.

These guys are the future of the WWE and are well on their way to establishing their legacy the best way possible - by getting in the ring, putting on great matches, busting their asses and being damn good at what they do. And they are. That's why Miz & Morrison are the Salty WWE Tag Team Of The Year.

TNA Tag Team Of The Year: And the nominees are: Robert Roode & James Storm aka Beer Money, Inc., AJ Styles and Tyson Tomko, Team 3D, The Motor City Machineguns, Homicide & Hernandez aka "LAX". And the winners are...

Beer Money, Inc. (James Storm & Robert Roode)

This was a tough call. LAX have had a great year and Tomko / Styles were pretty awesome all during the start of the year as well. Team 3D is always at the top of any tag team division. And then you have the Motor City Machine Guns. I hate their name, but they're a damn good team in that ring.

But when two singles wrestlers such as James Storm and Robert Roode are thrown together simply because management didn't have anything else for them and gel so well, it's an impressive feat. Roode and Storm are both good talkers, both good workers and the chemistry is just there. When Beer Money goes to the ring, you know the match will be entertaining and fun to watch. They're arguably the best team in TNA right now and could easily go head to head with any team from the WWE as well. And just for naming themselves after two of my favorite things, beer and money, that gets a big nod too. They might not be the Champs right now, but James Storm and Robert Roode are definitely the Salty TNA Tag Team Of The Year.

Comeback Of The Year: And the nominees are: John Cena, Jeff Hardy, Mick Foley, Jeff Jarrett. And the winner is...

Jeff Hardy

This wasn't even close. Cena was injured and came back sooner than everyone expected and was immediately given the World Championship. Big whoo! Foley came back to the WWE, worked as an announcer and then moved on to TNA where he's preparing to come out of retirement (again). Been there and done that already. Jarrett left active competition to deal with personal issues, including the death of his wife and to take a more active role behind the scenes at TNA, and while I have a lot of respect for Jeff, his return has been somewhat anti-climatic and he's only a part-time performer with TNA at best.

And then there's Jeff Hardy. He started the year on a roll and then had that big screw up with the Wellness violation (Strike 2) and ended up missing both the Royal Rumble and Wrestlemania as a result. And also, during this time, he lost his home (and dog) to a fire as well. But since he made his return, he's performed at the top of his game with some amazing matches against Triple H, Edge and The Undertaker and has really been phenomenal. And in the course of just a few months, has gone from being a guy on the fringe of being terminated to being the WWE Champion.

It shows just how much faith Vince McMahon and the WWE have in this guy and how he's really done a complete turnaround in his professionalism and work. He's surprised a lot of people, myself included. I never expected this year to end with Jeff in the WWE's "top spot". He deserves much credit and commendation for this and that's why he's getting the Salty for 'Comeback Of The Year'.

WWE Diva Of The Year: And the nominees are: Michelle McCool, Melina, Mickie James, Beth Phoenix & Victoria. And the winner is...

Beth Phoenix

This was a hard choice. I was going to give the award to Victoria simply because I think she's legitimately the best female performer in the WWE today. But Victoria spends more time putting others over and being the heart and soul of the WWE Diva's division than actually getting any wins or any kind of sustained push.

Melina had a good year, but she was out for part of the year due to an ankle injury and also, to be honest, I hate this new "baby-face role" that she's currently doing. It's just wrong and takes away all of the qualities that made Melina stand out and really shine. Mickie James is always good to watch perform, but she's kind of ended up as Raw's version of Victoria in that she can always be counted on to put on a good match and get a big pop from the fans, but isn't getting any kind of push. Michelle McCool is OK, but she wouldn't be anywhere near where she is if it wasn't for who she was dating backstage.

2008 was definitely the year of Beth Phoenix, aka "The Glamazon". She's been dominating in the ring as the WWE Women's Champion and has been actively involved in several other story-lines with the WWE as the "girlfriend" of Santino Marella as well. She gets far more TV time on RAW than any other female and has been fantastic in whatever role she portrays, be it the Champ or the "bossy girlfriend". 2008 was her year and that's why she wins the Salty Award for WWE Diva Of The Year.

TNA Knockout Of The Year: And the nominees are: Taylor Wilde, Christy Hemme, Awesome Kong, Gail Kim and ODB. And the winner is...

Awesome Kong

Taylor Wilde made a great impact coming in, but she's somewhat blah as a performer. Gail Kim is great in the ring, but left the company already to go back to the WWE (and allegedly into the arms of Bret Hart as well). ODB gives me the creeps with her constant feeling herself up of those massive fake boobs that she constantly thrusts out into everyone's face. Christy Hemme still reminds me of a living and breathing muppet.

And then we have Awesome Kong. She's definitely not the conventional "beauty queen" type of Diva that you'd expect to see in TNA or the WWE, but she's actually one heck of a wrestler. She's big and brutal and knows how to dominate and lead the TNA Knockout Division. She was an awesome (no pun intended) champ for most of the year and I don't see her stepping back for anyone in 2009 either. She's definitely deserving of the honors as the TNA top female performer and the Salty Award Winner for TNA Knockout Of The Year.

Couple Of The Year: And the nominees are: Beth Phoenix & Santino Marella, Edge & Vickie Guerrero, Booker T & Sharmell, Kurt & Karen Angle, Finlay & Hornswoggle. And the winners are...

Edge & Vickie Guerrero

This one was tough. Karen and Kurt Angle have split, both on TV and in real life so that kind of killed their chances. I haven't really cared much about Booker and Sharmell since they left WWE and to be honest, I just put Finlay and Horny as a lark. Their gimmick is getting kind of stale to me. But trying to decide between Glamorella and the Edge / Vickie teams was definitely like choosing between steak and fish - sometimes you just have to go with the lasagna. Santino and Beth have been awesome and are, more often than not, the best parts of most episodes of RAW.

But when push comes to shove and when you see the legit heat that Vickie and Edge manage to pull off, it's hard to put that in the backseat behind anyone. Vickie has really learned how to turn on the heat and be the "bitch heel" in her role as the SmackDown GM and when combined with her "husband", Edge... no one else can even come close.

I don't care who is paired up against Edge & Vickie, the heels will be Vickie and Edge and they'll steal the show. Their chemistry is amazing and they're great in their roles. And they deserve much credit, in the form of this award, the Salty for Couple Of The Year.

Comedy Act Of The Year: And the nominees are: Shark Boy, Curry Man, Eric Young, Jillian Hall, Jamie Noble, Hornswoggle & Santino Marella. And the winner is...

Santino Marella

Shark Boy, Eric Young and Curry Man are all great in their roles over in TNA. Hornswoggle, Jillian and Jamie can always be counted on for a smile or chuckle in WWE. But this award clearly belongs to one man and one man only. And that has to be Santino Marella.

No matter what the situation, no matter how stupid it may seem, Santino gets on the mic and turns crap into comedy gold. His delivery and facial expressions are always just subtle enough that even if you hate the storyline or hate Santino, you can't help but laugh or smile. Many times, Santino has been the only thing on RAW worth watching week in and week out, but often, that's been more than enough. He's a fair in-ring performer, but give this man a mic and the magic happens. He's truly a rare gem anong gems and truly deserving of the honor of the Salty for Comedy Act Of The Year.

Manager Of The Year: And the nominees are: Sharmell, Matt Striker, Tony Atlas, Joey Nuggs, Karen Angle and Christy Hemme. And the winner is...

Tony Atlas

Managers and valets in professional wresting are a dying breed, it seems. Matt Striker managed Big Daddy V for a while, but eventually decided there was more job security as a commentator. Sharmell was the "Queen" for King Booker in the WWE, but is just somewhat oblivious in her role in TNA. Nuggs is a great "old-school" manager, but no one knows who he is outside of the south-east. Karen Angle? Don't even get me started. And does anyone truly give a damn about Hemme and her "Rock & Rave Connection"? No, me neither.

And then there is Tony Atlas. I was never a fan of his work as a wrestler, but his role as the mentor / manager of Mark Henry has been really good and has added new dimensions to both men and their characters. I've always liked the idea of the older wrestlers "mentoring" the younger guys and giving them that extra rub. It's a proven system that works and works well and watching Atlas and Henry together just proves this. Thus, Tony wins the Salty Award for Manager Of The Year.

Wrestler Of The Year: And the nominees are: Kurt Angle, Sting, The Undertaker, Jeff Hardy, Chris Jericho, Matt Hardy, Shawn Michaels, and CM Punk. And the winner is...

Jeff Hardy

This is for the wrestler, regardless of company, who transcended all expectations and really took his career to the next level.

Kurt Angle has been the focal point for TNA for so long and he's truly a legit superstar in every form of the word. Sting came back from wresting limbo to once again become the TNA World Champion. Matt Hardy finally won that elusive "World" title when he captured the ECW Championship. The Undertaker - he's the Undertaker. No more needs to be said. CM Punk broke all the glass ceilings when he cashed in the "Money In The Bank" contract to capture the World Championship. And the Shawn Michaels - Chris Jericho feud and storyline was off the charts and far better than anything in recent memory. So there are many wrestlers who deserve this honor.

But in the end, did anyone truly ever expect to see Jeff Hardy as the WWE Champion? Especially in a year where he spent three months on the shelf for a "Wellness Violation" and missed both the Royal Rumble and Wrestlemania 24?

As popular as Hardy is, I never expected to see it happen. But it did at WWE Armageddon. History was made and Jeff Hardy defeated HHH and Edge to capture the WWE World Heavyweight Championship. Thus he gets the nod of nods as the Salty Award Winning 2008 Wrestler Of The Year.

Independent Wrestler Of The Year: And the nominees are: Necro Butcher, Low Ki, Jerry Lynn, Bryan Danielson and The Stro'. And the winner is...

Jerry Lynn

Necro Butcher is an awesome performer, but he rarely leaves the North-East. Low-Ki is damn good, but he seems to spend more time in Japan than traveling around the U.S. and gaining exposure. Danielson is a true superstar in the making for sure. And no one can go toe to toe with The Stro'. But no one wears the badge of "Indy Superstar" better than former ECW, WWF, WCW and TNA standout Jerry Lynn.

During the week, he stays home and plays husband and father, but every weekend, he travels the country from coast to coast and puts in performance after performance and does it bigger and better than almost anyone. There has been speculation that Lynn is a real life version of "The Wrestler" (the much praised movie currently showing in theaters across the nation) - and he won't argue the point.

He's a true pioneer of the business who still has the love, the passion, the desire to get in there and perform for the fans. And he does so with respect, honor and dignity each and every time. Lynn is a phenomenal performer and a truly great guy in every way, shape and form. And he's also the 2008 Salty Award Winning Independent Wrestler Of The Year.

And that's it for Part 1. I'll be back tomorrow with the second part of this column.

Who Am I?

Let me quickly hit on something else too. The "Who Am I?" The last "Who Am I?" (way back on December 13th) read as follows...

I made my wrestling debut in 1955 at the tender age of 15 years old as the protege of "Whipper" Billy Watson and worked as an under-card guy for the next several years in the Toronto region before moving to California and re-establishing myself as "The Butcher". My career really began to take off in 1965 when I put on a mask and went to Texas, where I feuded with the likes of Fritz Von Erich and Billy Red Lyons. It's here that I perfected my trademark move of "walking the top rope", a move that was duplicated years later by a WWE star named "The Undertaker".

I worked regularly in Japan during the seventies and changed my masked identity for a run in the Carolinas and the AWA for a few years in the late seventies as well. In the early 80's, I was, along with the Road Warriors and King Kong Bundy, part of a Georgia based group of heels founded and led by Paul Ellering. And during my WWF run, my "Iron Claw" was one of the first moves to ever be censored by the WWF as being too gruesome and vicious to show on TV.

I retired from active wrestling in 1994 and moved back to Canada with my wife and family before passing away in 2005 due to complications from a heart attack and leukemia.

Answer with either my masked name or my real name, but answer please.

Who Am I?

And the answer was... Don Jardine aka "The Spoiler".

As for the people who got it correct.. I know Harold Schwan did.. and there were two other names... but the index card that I had written the names on.. it's vanished. (I cleaned out my desk on New Years Eve and unfortunately, a lot of things got tossed that I should have held on to...lol). So if you answered correctly, give me a shout out telling me to get my act together and I'll give you a holler in the next column (should be tomorrow or Saturday at the latest.)

And a newbie.. Have I ever mentioned how much I hate those things. But they're always been popular, so I kept doing them. Here's you go...

Although I'm very well known and popular in WWE today, my first piece of major exposure to the spotlight came when a hot-headed, former manager and then-promoter made headlines for slapping me repeatedly in the face at a television taping for a developmental territory when I made the bone-headed mistake of laughing, on camera, when I was supposed to be acting frightened or scared. But I didn't know and it pissed the old-school guy off and he decided to slap some sense in me, which ended up causing repercussions that are still felt in the WWE today.

Not many details, I know.. but this incident made major headlines several years ago and I think everyone should know who this wrestler is. And extra bonus points if you can name the "hot-headed manager / promoter" as well.
So there you go. Who Am I?

And I'll be back tomorrow with the rest of the chapter - Part 2 of "The Saltys". You can go to my MySpace at www.myspace.com/salt_palace and in the photo section, in the album labeled "2008 Salty Awards", see pictures of all the "winners" and their "Salty Awards". While you're there, add me as a friend. You know you want to.

Comments, questions, and the answer to the "Who Am I?" can be sent to Doug28352@yahoo.com.

And I'm outta here, my friends. I'll be back tomorrow with Part 2. Be sure to check it out. And we may even have punch and pie. Who knows? Until then, I'm Doug and "dat is all de' people need to know".

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