(Retro) My Life According To Google: April 27, 2009

**My life according to Google.** -

1. Type in "[your name] needs" in the Google search:

Doug needs to cool down! (They must have seen me yesterday - I was extremely hot and ready to kill...)

2: Type in "[your name] looks like" in Google search:

Doug looks like the lead singer from Jet on Flickr. (Hmmmm! I don't know who that is, but he must be one extremely sexy beast....lol)

3: Type in "[your name] does" in Google search:

Doug does Decaydance (That must be some perverted vesion of shaking the booty? How did they find that out?)

4: Type in "[your name] hates" in Google search:

Doug hates girls and Spencer hates just about everyone. (LMAO! They do know me too well, don't they....lol. But I don't "hate" girls - some of my best friends are female.)

5: Type in "[your name] goes" or "..has gone" in Google search:

Doug goes to brunch in the West Village. (Is that where the Chinse place is at?)

Doug has gone 11 crazy on Flickr. (Is that the semi-final stage of a 12-step program to totally flipping out and going insane? If so, I'm waaayyy past that!)

6: Type in "[your name] loves" in Google search

Doug loves Sarah. (Who is Sarah and what has she done to make me love her? I must know. Who is this woman?)

7: Type in "[your name] eats" in Google search:

Doug eats White Castle burger. (I must have been hanging with Harold, Kumar & Neil Patrick Harris that day.... but they are pretty good, so it's OK!)

8: Type in "[your name] has" in Google Search:

Doug has to have a colonospy soon and he's nervous about it. (There's a joke here somewhere, but I'm just not tasteless enough this morning to go there, so make your own punchline. I'll just put my thoughts on this subject in one final word - "OUCH!" - 'Nuff said!)

9: Type in "[your name] wants" in Google search:

Doug wants some wine! (Actually, I'd prefer about a liter or so of cheap vodka right now - the past 24 hours have been major hell - and I could use a good shit-faced drunk. Too bad I have to be the responsible one and handle things. ; ( Blah!)

And that's all folks! Later!