(Retro) Six Minutes - February 14, 2009

Six Minutes
February 14, 2009
Doug Maynard

Happy Valentine's Day!

And what better way to celebrate the day of romance, love and passion than to talk for a few minutes about guys who bash in each other's head for a living. No, it's not a red light special at the Wal-Mart. It's professional wrestling, the true "King of Sports". My passion and first true love, and from what I've been able to gather, the true love and passion of many of you as well.

Of course, I still like the snuggling and getting funky like a monkey with my significant other, but the wrestling, or "sports entertainment" as Vinnie Mac and family might call it, that's the long-time affair that keeps the mind active and the juices flowing. Lord, I need a life.

But be that as it may, it's what I like to talk about and what I'm here to talk about for a small bit of your time, for roughly about "Six Minutes" worth, hence the name. So without any more delays, hit the intro...

"Six minutes, six minutes, six minutes Dougie Fresh and you're on...!!"

So what's on the agenda? How about predictions for "No Way Out", the WWE spectacular coming up on Sunday night? Some quick talk about a return to the WWE rings by a major name. And a couple of quick questions from the old mailbag. Does that sound like a plan or what?

By the way, I saw a guy the other day at my store that could easily pass for a mini-me version of Dave Batista. He had the short hair, the shades, the physique, and the whole look down pat, even to jeans and wife-beater t-shirt. The only problem is this guy was probably only about 5' 6 and about 160lbs at the absolute max. So now we know. Batista isn't really out injured or hurt. He was just left in the dryer too long and shrunk up and was then shipped here to NC.

Let's move on.

Jay Reso, aka "Christian Cage", aka "Christian", is back in the WWE.... sort of. He popped up on ECW this past Tuesday and immediately established himself as the top contender for Jack Swagger and his ECW Championship. So much for being the mystery man in the Hardy Brothers feud, right?

Actually, I like this. ECW needs some "star power" since Matt Hardy decided to move over to Smackdown. This allows the WWE to re-introduce Christian to the fans that may not have been around three years ago when Christian was last performing in the WWE rings and it gives Swagger a seasoned vet, besides Finlay, to work with and just get all that much better.

When the time comes for others to be injected into the Matt / Jeff feuds, Christian will have already been established again on WWE television at that point and can easily move into whatever role the company decides that they want to use him in. I'm still pushing for a "TLC" match with Matt & Edge taking on Jeff & Christian. I was hoping for Wrestlemania 25, but I'm suspecting that we'll see Edge in the WWE title picture, while Matt and Jeff are facing off in their first singles match. And Mr. Cage will either be challenging for or defending the ECW Championship, depending on how things turn out Sunday night.

I'm not sure if this is the way I would have brought Christian back into the WWE scene, but it makes sense and a three-way feud with Christian, Finlay and Swagger might be extremely interesting to watch develop. Swagger is the cocky young heel. Finlay is the veteran who loves to fight. And Christian is the unknown at this point. He seems to be a face, but he's capable of anything, as he's shown time and time again in the past. This should be mighty fun.

But on a related note, it must totally suck to be Tommy Dreamer right now. His plans to "Be ECW Champion by June or retire" have just gotten that much more complicated with the addition of Cage. I have a strong feeling that we might be seeing the last few months of the in-ring career of Tommy Dreamer. He might get a 24-hour run or maybe a week, but if the WWE is looking to put the title on someone right now in the ECW roster, Dreamer falls way behind Finlay, Christian, Mark Henry and Jamie Noble in my book. Might not be a popular sentiment, but that's just how I see it.

But have no fear. I still think that Dreamer stands a better chance of becoming ECW Champion than Ricky Ortiz or The Boogeyman.

Another big return this past week to the WWE was "Nature Boy" Ric Flair to the land of RAW. He hasn't signed back with the company (yet), but will be a part of WWE TV from now leading up until Wrestlemania 25.

One word about "Naitch". Wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo!!

'Nuff said!

I had a thought the other night about the whole Chris Jericho - Mickey Rourke - Ric Flair angle that seems to be playing out before our eyes. I think we'll see Mickey and Jericho face off at Wrestlemania. I don't think it will be a wrestling match, since Mickey would basically get his ass handed to him. Playing a wrestler in a movie and competing in the ring in front of 60,000 screaming fans are two totally different animals. I think it will end up a "boxing match", since Rourke has a legit boxing background and that could be be booked to make Jericho and Rourke more on equal terms in the ring.

But if by some chance Mickey doesn't do the match, or common sense prevails and he is there, but not as an active participant in the ring, I have found the solution. Have Ric Flair and Mickey Rourke act as the "managers" for the biggest wrestling whore in the business, against Jericho. The whole movie, "The Wrestler" is about a man who doesn't know when to give it up and call it a career. That description can be used to describe many wrestlers, both positively or negatively. But when I think of wrestlers who's ego won't let them "pass the torch" or give it up to the younger wrestlers, the next generation, one name comes to mind more than any.

And his name is one that is synonymous with the WWE and Wrestlemania. Can you guess who I'm speaking of?

Think of this. Jericho continues his weekly trash talk of "legends" who don't know when to say when and let their egos take precedence over their common sense. And he name-drops a certain former WCW / WWF Champion by the name of "Hogan".

I hate Hogan as much as anyone, but we all know how badly he wants to be a part of Wrestlemania (and get that pay-day so Linda can keep up her teenage boyfriend). And it's Hogan. The name still has value to it and draws attention.

So picture this. If Mickey Rourke decides to bail on the WWE and Wrestlemania, or is unable for whatever reason to "wrestle" on the show, just book Hogan. Think about it. "Hollywood" Hulk Hogan w/ Ric Flair and Mickey Rourke in his corner, versus Chris Jericho.

Jericho is good enough to work around Hogan's shortcomings and make a match out of it. Flair and Rourke at ringside would help in this as well. And in the end, Hogan does the J-O-B to Chris, possibly as a result of a Flair swerve where he turns on Hogan, or even a Rourke swerve where he and Jericho are revealed to be working together.

Regardless, we get a marquee match at Wrestlemania. Hogan gets a big payday so he's happy. Jericho gets a big win over one of the biggest names in the business, so he's happy. Flair gets to style and profile, but keeps his word that he won't return to the ring as an active wrestler. And Rourke gets more publicity for his movie. Everyone wins.

But that's all just a thought that went through my head. As I mentioned earlier, I really do need a life.

Look! We Have Mail!

Let's open up the old mailbag now and answer a couple of quick questions.

Jack C. asked, "Have you ever watched the Legends Round-table show on WWE 24-7? What four guys would you like to see on that show?"

Well, I don't have WWE 24-7 or access to it. I have DirecTV and they pretty much suck. But I have read about the whole "Round-table" discussions and would love to be able to see some of them. I understand that they're being released on DVD by the WWE and if I can ever track some down when I have a few extra dollars, I'll certainly snap 'em up.
As for who I'd like to see, or more specifically, the four man grouping I'd love to see take part - how about this: Jim Cornette, Ole Anderson, Paul Heyman and Eric Bischoff.

Have Jim Ross be the poor soul to moderate and attempt to control these four men who are all outspoken and have an opinion on anything and everything. Four of the most colorful and diverse minds in the history of this business. It'd have to be censored for language, especially with Cornette and Ole, but it would never, ever be boring. And it would be great insight and a learning tool for any true wrestling fan. Those would be my picks.

Another question from Jack C. "In your opinion, what combination of members was the best in each faction - The Horsemen, DX and The Midnight Express."

For the Horsemen, it's pretty simple. As good as some of the later factions were, especially when they had Benoit and Malenko as part of the team, in my opinion, the strongest and most talented grouping was that of Ric Flair, Tully Blancard, Arn Anderson and Barry Windham, with JJ Dillon as the manager. There was no weak link in this team as all four men could work singles or tag action and were truly at the top of their games.

DX - This would have to be, for me, when it was Triple H, Chyna and The New Age Outlaws. Nothing against X-Pac, but I didn't really see him adding anything to the team when he was there. As for Shawn Michaels, I think his presence took away from the whole "team" image. Hunter & Chyna, at that time, just meshed really well with Road Dogg and Billy Gunn and they all complemented each other. With Shawn there, he just came across as "the star" with everyone else as his supporting cast.

The Midnight Express. I've been fortunate enough to see four versions of this team wrestle.Forget all about Bart and Bob in the WWF. That was an insult to the name and legacy. Randy Rose and Dennis Condrey in the AWA with Paul E. Dangerously (aka Paul Heyman) was a good team, but I couldn't get into them very well. For me, the Midnight Express has to have Jim Cornette and has to have Bobby Eaton.

So that leaves either Bobby & Dennis or Bobby & Stan. Hmmm! Tough call, but Bobby & Stan Lane just seemed to have their act together more and were just the perfect wrestling unit in my eyes. Cornette did most of the talking, but Stan could talk as well. And Eaton was (is) a wrestling machine. So for the best faction of "The Midnight Express", there can be no doubt that "Beautiful" Bobby Eaton & "Sweet" Stan Lane were, and are "the men".

And finally...

Sister Cleo In De' House - Predictions for "WWE No Way Out!"

Elimination Chamber Match - WWE Championship
Edge (c) vs. Undertaker vs. Triple H vs. Jeff Hardy vs. The Big Show vs. Vladimir Kozlov

This is the match that holds the most intrigue. While I don't think Kozlov stands a chance of being the WWE Champ right now, any of the other five guys in this match could get the title and it would work. I've got a feeling that the plans for Undertaker in the near future involve two other men who use their initials more than their names, so I don't think he'll be winning. Big Show would make sense, given all the bickering and what-not's between him and Edge lately, and if we weren't heading into Wrestlemania so soon, he'd be my pick.

But I don't see him as the man they'd want as WWE Champ at Wrestlemania. Jeff has a story with Matt to move on to. So that leaves HHH. And I think it'll be his night. Look for HHH to come out last and win the title. Edge gets screwed as the "Cerebral Assassin" adds to his belt count. And there you go.

Winner and NEW WWE Champion: Triple H

Elimination Chamber Match - World Championship
John Cena (c) vs. Chris Jericho vs. Rey Mysterio vs. Kane vs. Mike Knox vs. Kofi Kingston

Let's see. Jericho has this thing going with Mickey and Flair. So he's not winning. Rey is just a shadow of what he was and sucks. So he's not winning. Kane is a possibility, but if he did win, he'd lose it back the next night on RAW. So forget about that? Mike Knox? Maybe in a few years, but as for now, I can't see it. And Kofi? It just isn't happening. So by process of elimination, it's a cakewalk as Cena retains the title and heads to Wrestlemania.

Winner and STILL World Champion: John Cena

ECW Championship Match
Jack Swagger (c) vs. Fit Finlay w/ Hornswoggle

This match could be pretty good, but I'm just not thinking it's time to pull the trigger on Swagger's title run yet. I'm definitely expecting Christian to get involved and cause a slight bit of disturbance. And Horny will be there too, so that is also a sign of shenanigans. Why does the little guy growl? I watched part of the Finlay promo on tape from ECW on Tuesday night and it is just disturbing. So Christian gets involved and we have madness and a DQ on the part of Finlay, leading to a fantastic three-way at Wrestlemania. And with the DQ, Swagger retains.

Winner by DQ and STILL ECW Champion: Jack Swagger

** OK, I changed my mind. I can't see two DQ finishes on one PPV card, and after I did my prediction for the HBK - JBL match, I decided to change the prediction for this one. So look for Christian to get involved and Swagger to get nailed by Finlay and pinned, thus still leading to a great three-way match at Wrestlemania with Finlay defending the title against Swagger and Christian. So instead of the original prediction listed above, it is now...**

Winner via Outside Interference and NEW ECW Champion: Fit Finlay w/ Hornswoggle

No Holds Barred Match
Randy Orton vs. Shane McMahon

Look for Shane to be crazy and take a lot of stupid bumps. Look for the Kendo stick to be used repeatedly. And look for Legacy to get involved. If Shane wins, we riot!

Winner: Randy Orton

Contract Match: If HBK wins, he's free of JBL's control and gets paid in full - if JBL wins, he wins the likeness rights and control of HBK name forever.
John Bradshaw Layfield (JBL) versus "The Heartbreak Kid" Shawn Michaels

HBK dominates the match and is on the verge of winning, getting the money owed him by JBL and his dignity and self-respect back. But JBL makes the move on Mrs. HBK, aka "Rebecca" at ringside and HBK snaps, losing control and getting disqualified in the process. HBK wins the battle but loses the war as JBL gains control of all things "Michaels". And the feud continues for a few more weeks until, on a classic episode of RAW, just before Wrestlemania, HBK breaks free of JBL's control, only to be faced with something bigger, badder and far more dangerous. (Don't you just love these teasers?)

Winner by DQ: JBL

And I guess that's enough for me as we bring this edition of "Six Minutes" to a close. A new "Tossing Salt - Worldwide News" will be up Monday or Tuesday, so look for that. And I guess that's all.

Comments and questions can be sent to Doug28352@yahoo.com. Come visit me at MySpace at www.myspace.com/salt_palace. Add me as a friend. You know you want to.

And now, my "six minutes" are up. Have a great week and always be a fan. Happy Valentine's Day! I love you, Chris.

Ubuntu!