(Flashback) Sunday Night Heat - 1/04/04

Sunday Night Heat - 1/04/04

What up all? It's Doug M. coming at you with the Wrestling Informer Sunday Night Heat recap. It's from San Antonio, Texas - the crowd is jakked. I'm jakked. The men calling the action are Al Snow and the Coach. It's the first HEAT! of 2004. Enough talk - time for action:

We open to the GM of Stevie Night Heat playing around on his Stevie-Corp. executive golf cart. Here's Test. He wants Victoria. He's going to get Victoria. And he wants a rematch with Stevie tonite. Stevie offers him a ride on the golf cart, and Test kicks the cart, hurting his foot. Funny.

The whole opening montage bit airs and we're headed to the ring for action.

'I'LL SHOW YOU! YOU'LL SEE!"
Test versus Stevie Richards (with Victoria)

Test attacks Stevie from behind as Stevie is watching his "flower" come to the ring. Test throws Stevie in the ring and puts the boots to him. A Bruno-wannabe backbreaker by Test. Stevie flips out and lands some knees, fists, and a big Stevie-plex. Stevie lands a neckbreaker and some Stevie-faction for a big 2 count. Test comes back with the big knee and nails a big side-slam. He ties Stevie up in the ropes. Victoria is in the ring and Test tries to put the moves on her. Big slap by Victoria, and Test gives her the "liplock of lust!". She likes it - not! Big kick to the testicles. Here's Stevie with a roll up and he grabs the ropes for added effect to get the pin.

Winner: Stevie Richards (with Victoria)

We see the Dudley Boyz plugging their song, "We've Had Enough!" on the new "WWE Originals" album.

Rico (with Miss Jackie) versus Brandon Gunn (?)

Rico gets ass-slappy, but Brandon takes an amatuer ride on the flamboyant one. A grind by Rico and he slaps Brandon. A big knee and some clubbering. Brandon comes back with a big hiptoss and a big slam. A big dropkick and here's Jackie with the distraction. Rico sends Brandon to the floor and puts the boots to him. A big kick and Rico gets 2. Rico lands some fists, elbow, and a huge kneelift.

The grinding elbow by Rico and he gets another 2 count. The chops fly and Rico goes to the eyes. Rico to the top, but jumps into some "knees into the belly-welly, if you will". (Dusty Rhodes - 1991) Brandon does a roll-up, and another, and a third, but can't get more than 2. Brandon with a big slam and goes to the top, but misses a cross-body press. Rico scores with the neckbreaker and gets the pin.

Winner: Rico

WWE REWIND: From RAW on Monday night, Booker T challenges the IC champ, Randy Orton. The big wookie, Mark Henry comes and lays Booker out. As for the challenge, Orton accepts.

From RAW on Monday night: Randy Orton versus Booker T - Intercontinential Championship

Booker with the spineroonie. A kick and a "shades of Arn Anderson" spinebuster by "Mr. 5-Time". Another kick. Time for the scissors-kick and here comes Kane. Booker is distracted, and Orton comes in from behind and nails the RKO for the win.

Winner: Randy Orton

Kane comes into the ring and just decimates Booker with some slams, some fist, and the grand finale - the "chokeslam from hell!". Kane summons the fire as Booker is laid out in the middle of the ring.

Tommy Dreamer versus Matt Hardy Version 1.

MATT FACTS: Matt's first job was at a car wash.
Matt is more extreme than Tommy Dreamer

Matt starts off with a little condescending attitude towards the "innovater of violence", but Dreamer responds by slapping the taste out of his mouth. Tommy lands a big slam and a legdrop. Matt sends Tommy to the floor, but Tommy feels lonely and brings Matt out to join him. Some punches are exchanged and Matt runs Dreamer into the ring apron. Back in the ring, a big slam by the "Sensei of Mattitude" and he puts the boots to Tommy. Matt lands an elbow and goes to the top. Dreamer up, and Matt sings soprano as he gets a big nutbuster on his little "MF'ers".

An elbow by Matt and he goes for a moonsault, but misses as Tommy moves out of the way. Tommy lands some punches and a couple of neckbreakers and goes for a DVD. Matt responds with a VCR - I mean a side-effect and Tommy is down. Matt goes for the kendo stick, but misses the swing and Dreamer plants Matt for a big 2 count. Tommy has the stick, but the ref is in the way. Matt lands a modified TOF from the second rope, and picks up the win.

Winner: Matt Hardy Version 1.

WWE STING OF THE NIGHT: Stone Cold turns down the RAW GM job, and tells the WWE it's his terms or nothing. Take the job and shove it!

From last Monday night on RAW - World Championship Match
Triple H versus Shawn Michaels

Some chops by HBK and he nails Hunter with an inverted atomic drop and then the flying elbow. Time to tune up the band, but HBK decides to nail Ric Flair instead. The ref gets bumped. HHH moves in and lands a big DDT on the "show-stoppa". Both men are down. Flair slides the World title belt to HHH. He nails Shawn with the title, and gets a long 2. HHH and HBK both up and Earl Hebner gets knocked to the floor.

Eric Bischoff comes out to check on referee Hebner. HHH removes the padding from the corner turnbuckle, but falls victim as HBK makes HHH eat steel. HBK covers. Eric in to be the referee and HBK gets 2. (cut to) Chops and a superkick by HBK. The cover and Eric makes the count. The music starts. Eric gets the mic and declares the winner - Triple H. HBK is crushed.

Eric shows the replay - both men's shoulders were down and in the case of a tie, the champion retains the title. Eric then starts being Eric, and HBK backs him into a corner. Here comes Ric Flair to attack HBK, but to no avail as nothing can stop a heartbroken heartbreaker. HBK gives Flair some "sweet chin music" and nails Bischoff as well. Eric pulls a "Vince" and tells HBK "you're fired!"

Cue the broken glass as here comes Stone Cold Steve Austin. He says the WWE accepted his terms and there's a "new sheriff in town". HBK is rehired and deserves a rematch. Eric is stunned and gets a stunner as the crowd goes nuts. And that's the bottom line - cause I just said so. (heh - heh!)

Val Venis and Lance Storm versus La Resistance (Rob Conway & Rene Dupree)

Our tag team main event is on the move as Lance Storm does some classic "old school" wrestling and works on the arm of Rob Conway. Conway responds with an "old school fist to the head!". Lance fights back, but Dupree is tagged in. Lance takes him down with some armlocks and tags in Val. Val gives a slam and some elbows and the fists start to fly. Rene gets in a chop and tags Rob who puts the boots to Val. Val lands a slam and a huge "Harley Race" knee to the face. Val goes to the top , but Dupree makes the Big Valbosky shiver and wilt with a big splat. Double team on Val by La Resistance. Rene remains in control with the snapmare and chinlock.

Val comes back with some kicks and a slam and the hot tag to Lance. "Mr. Personality" is on fire as the fists and clotheslines are flying and he takes it to La Resistance. He scores with a leg lariat, a couple of dropkicks, and the redhead in Row three. Conway nails a cheap shot from the outside and it all breaks loose. In the chaos, Conway nails Lance with a huge "Jake 'the Snake' Roberts" DDT and gets the cover and pin.

Winners: La Resistance

The show was on fire tonite with some really good matches. Rico and Stevie are looking better than ever. So is Victoria ( but she's still no Ivory - ha!) The crowd in San Antonio was jakked as ever and the guys and girls responded by really putting forth a great effort.

Tommorow night on RAW - we find out just what Stone Cold means by being the new "sheriff in town". Mark Henry and Teddy Long get their "Survivor Series favor" from GM Eric Bischoff. Plus more Trish and Chris Jericho. And what the hell is up with Kane? That's tommorow on RAW on Spike TV. I can't wait!

Until then, I'm the resident Salt-Tosser and all around degenerate, Doug M. This has been the HEAT! recap. I'll see you tommorow night on RAW. Until then, my friends - take it light!