Yanni, Where Art Thou?

The aspiring young writer, Hobbes, sat at his computer, staring at the blank screen in front of him.

"I'm bored. Maybe I should see if I can come up with a creative idea and write a parody or something?", he thought to himself. "Maybe another game show skit. I could do WWE Superstars playing against hardcore rock stars in a game of Family Feud?"

Suddenly, there was a crashing noise and the writer spun around to see The Miz standing behind him.

"Damn it, Miz, what are you doing here and what was the noise", Hobbes said angrily.

Miz glanced down at the stack of pots and pans he had knocked over upon his arrival and got a smirk on his face.

"I didn't do it. Nobody saw me do it! Can't prove anything!", he said quickly.

"This isn't the Simpsons, Champ", Hobbes replied. "Don't worry about it! What do you want?"

"Well, I saw that you were thinking about writing another fiction about the WWE Superstars on a game show."

"Yeah, so what?", Hobbes asked.

"Really? I mean, Really?", Miz asked. "Haven't you played that one out enough times already?"

"I don't think so", Hobbes replied.

"Let's see", Miz said. "So far, in your creative, original little stories, you've have the WWE wrestlers on Match Game, Hollywod Squares, Loveline, Jerry Springer, The Newlywed Game..."

"Don't forget the Muppet Show", Hobbes replied.

"And the Muppet Show. Enough is enough. Be creative for a change. Come up with something original and real."

"Like the WWE Real World?", Hobbes asked. "Already did that parody once."

"Don't mess with me, loser!", Miz scowled. "Don't even go there!"

"So what's your point, Miz", Hobbes asked.

"All you write about is pro wrestling and vampires. And not even good vampires. I mean, who cares about Dark Shadows? That show was over 40 years ago. No one cares!"

"Dark Shadows was good", Hobbes objected. "It's got a charm and made an impact that endures even to this day."

"Boring", Miz replied. "Next thing you know, you'll be writing about the show Dallas, or something corny like that."

"I made fun of Dallas a few weeks ago", Hobbes answered. "It's posted on my site at Blogspot."

Miz just dropped his head and sighed.

"I'm trying to help you here, OK? You're a good kid and you've got some talent. I liked that 35 part story you did with the Avengers."

"You did?", Hobbes asked.

"Except for the vampire parts", Miz replied. "I even liked where you snuck that scene in with Mr. McMahon and his family, even though you rely on that bit far too often and it's a crutch."

"I thought it was funny", Hobbes replied.

"Be glad Mr. McMahon thought it was funny too, or else he'd have sent Vickie here to yell at you instead of me."

"Excuse me!", Hobbes remarked.

"Exactly", Miz laughed.

"As long as he didn't send Stephanie, it's all good", Hobbes laughed.

"Why? What's wrong with Steph?", Miz asked.

"Nothing", Hobbes said quickly, correcting himself.

"Never mind. I understand" Miz said. "She scares me too!"

"So what's your point, Miz", Hobbes asked. "This little parody is getting monotonous and boring, so I really should wrap it up."

"Two things", Miz replied. "No, let's make it three things."

"Three things", Hobbes said. "Got it! What are they?"

"Slack off on the game shows and corny stuff. More adventures and realistic stuff for the wrestlers in your fics! That's number one!"

"And the other points?", Hobbes asked.

""Next Sunday at the Elimination Chamber PPV, I will defeat Jerry Lawler and go to Wrestlemania and the undisputed WWE Champion."

"Gotcha", Hobbes replied. "Get the plug in there for the upcomng show. Good job on that!"

"Thanks", Miz replied.

"And the final point?", Hobbes asked.

"Just that... I'm the Miz.. and I'm AWESOME!", Miz replied.

"Is that all?", Hobbes asked.

"Yeah, I think so", Miz said.

"Can we call in someone for a rebuttal now?", Hobbes asked.

"What kind of rebuttal?", Miz asked. "This isn't a debate!"

"I just like to keep things fair and balanced, like Fox News and Kelly Kelly's implants!"

"Ouch! Good one", Miz said.

"Thanks!", Hobbes replied. "But anyway, since this is my little story, I have someone to repond to what you were saying earlier. Can I bring them in?"

"Do I have a choice?", Miz asked.

"Not really!"

Just then, the sounds of "Boy From New York City" filled the room and Jimmy "The Boogie Woogie Man" Valiant came dancing in the room.

"Whooo, mercy! The boogie-man feel good baby! Time to dance and rock and roll with the boogey man! Miz. baby, give the boogie man a kiss!"

Jimmy Valiant moved over and tried to kiss Miz, but Miz ducked away.

"What the...?? Get this crazy old man away from me!", he yelled out.

"Hey Valiant", Hobbes spoke up. "What are you doing here?

"The Boogie man is ready to go and party all night long", Valiant said. "Have mercy!"

"Wrong fic, Jimmy", Hobbes said. "You're not supposed to be here!"

"But the Boogie Man, Handsome Jimmy is ready to fight Kabuki, where you at, Paul Jones. Do it New York City on the street style, have mercy!"

"Later Jimmy, you gotta go", Hobbes told the gyrating and shaking grappler. "Next fic, I promise!"

Valiant stopped shaking and moving and put his head down as he slowly walked away.

"Nobody love the Boogie Man anymore", he said sadly.

"What the hell was that?", Miz asked.

"Just some of my crossover stuff where I attempt to use stars from the glory days, when wrestling was actually good, to lend humor and credibility to my stories."

"Really? Really?", Miz scowled once more.

"Plus I wanted Valiant to distract you so you wouldn't see who was really coming to see you and talk to you", Hobbes said.

"So who's the next character you're going to add to this fic? Alice Cooper? Kermit the Frog? Maybe it's Joan Rivers and the Iron Sheik. Yeah, I saw that piece you did making fun of Olbermann!"

"How dare you, sir! How dare you!", Keith Olbermann yells from the sidelines.

"Shut up!", Miz and Hobbes yell at the same time.

"Good night... and good luck!", replied Olbermann.

"Ok, so where were we?", Miz asked.

"You were mocking the characters I like to use and wondering who else I would add to this fic?", Hobbes answered.

"Oh yeah! It's hard to keep track sometimes. That's why I have Alex Riley. He's a great assistant and helps me keep things coordinated and straight."

"So can we finish this so I can go get a nap?", Hobbes asked.

"You sleep too much. Did you know that?", Miz said.

"Today, Miz", Hobbes replied.

"OK! Don't be so touchy. You're worse than Melina when Hornswoggle is around.", Miz said.

"We really don't have time for this, but I've got to ask. Melina and Hornswoggle?", Hobbes replied.

"Yeah", Miz said. "Whenever Horny is around, Melina gets all grouchy and figidity and just becomes a royal pain. She says that it's because Horny creeps her out."

"And why does Horny creep her out?", Hobbes asked.

"I don't know", Miz said. "All he does is compliment her. Just last Monday, he walked up to her and told her that her hair smelled teriffic."

"Ouch!", Hobbes said, smiling.

"Yeah, that was a long ways to go for a bad punch line, wasn't it?", Miz said.

"They can't all be awesome, Miz", Hobbes replied.

"Yeah, but I am", Miz smirked.

"Whatever!"

"You ready to finish this?", Miz asked. "I have to get back. I'm going snorkeling with Mark Henry and Khali."

"I don't even want to know", Hobbes said. "So anyhow, Miz, you were complaining about my fics and the characters I use."

"Not complaining so much as pointing out the obvious. No one cares about your old wrestlers and your game shows and especially not your stupid 1960's vampires", Miz ranted. "Twilight is cool. Vampire Diaries is cool. Even Buffy is acceptable. But who the hell cares about Barnabas Collins."

"And now, for a rebuttal", Hobbes said with a smile. "Miz, look behind you."

Miz smirked and turned around and standing there was the vampire from the epic series, Dark Shadows, Barnabas Collins.

"Gulp!", Miz swallowed hard.

"But of course everyone cares about Dark Shadows because it's so awesome and cool", he said as he started to back away slowly.

Barnabas glared hard at the WWE Champion, his eyes burning red and then Barnabas opened his mouth, letting out an evil hiss as he bared his fangs.

"Aaaaaauuughhhh!", Miz screamed as he ran away, fleeing in terror. "Don't kill me! Don't drink my blood! I'm the Miz and I'm.....awwweeeessssssommmmeee!"

Barnabas let out another hiss and took off after the terrified wrestler.

"Well, that's that", Hobbes said. "Maybe next time, I'll be actually able to come up with a real story or parody, but this will do for now. And now, I'm going to take that nap."

Hobbes reached down and clicked Save on his computer and clicked off the computer.

Taking a drink from his Pepsi, he sighed to himself.

"Boredom is a terrible thing!"

THE END!!!