SMACKDOWN FROM TULSA OKLAHOMA
Doug Maynard 09/10/2004
It's Thursday night so this must be the WWE Smackdown recap. The best damn reason to watch TV on a Thursday night. What else are you going to watch? Joey? I'm the Salt Tossin' Sensei of the Wrestling Informer, but you can call me Doug. Smackdown is coming from Tulsa, OK. The men at ringside... well, the man at ringside is Tazz. Michael Cole is there too. Now let's smack this sucka down.
The GM of Smackdown, Theodore R. Long opens the show. Holla! Holla! Holla! Since Luther Reigns interfered in the main event last week between Kurt Angle and Eddie Guerrero, we don't know who's better. So tonight, it's bring out the lumberjacks as Kurt and Eddie wrestle in a "Lumberjack Match". Holla!
Here comes the WWE Champion John Bradshaw Layfield accompanied by Orlando "Don't call me Virgil" Jordon. JBL works the crowd and shakes the hands. We see some tape from last week as JBL introduces Charlie Haas to the "clothesline from Hell!"
John Bradshaw Layfield (with Orlando Jordon) versus Charlie Haas (with Miss Jackie)
JBL tries to be friendly and offers Haas a handshake. Charlie's not in a handshaking mood tonight. Haas hits a drop toehold. JBL counters to the arm. Haas goes for the leg. JBL responds with a kick. JBL just clubs away and nails a suplex for two. Neckbreaker for two by JBL. Haas fights back and throws punches and a sunset flip for two. JBL uses punches and a headbutt. Dropkick and flying forearm by Haas. Ax handle by Haas and he catches JBL with a stiff dropkick. Orlando threatens Jackie on the outside and Haas is distracted. JBL nails the clothesline from Hell to get the pin.
Winner: JBL (with Orlando Jordon)
JBL gets the mic and starts talking. And talking. And talking. He claims responsibility for everything good in America and trashes the Undertaker a bit. He's having a funeral for the Undertaker in two weeks. No more title shots either. Here's Teddy. JBL can have his funeral, but at "No Mercy" JBL defends the gold against The Undertaker in a "Last Ride Match" where the winner puts his opponent into a hearst. JBL needs to recognize. Teddy says "belee' dat playa!" JBL complains to Orlando as they go to commercial.
Later tonight, it's Kurt versus Eddie in the "Lumberjack Match" plus Kidman & Paul London defend the WWE Tag Team Title against Kenzo Suzuki & Rene Dupree... and that's next!
Tough Enough returns to Smackdown this fall. The deadline for entries has been extended to September 22nd. Go to WWE.com for details.
Carlito Caribbean Cool is coming to the WWE... and he's cool!
We see video from two weeks ago as Kidman nails Chavito in the head with a knee and knocks him out in a fumbled Shooting Star Press. Then to last week as Kidman prepares for the "S.S.P." but chickens out. Kidman walks off and London gets pinned by Nunzio. And then here comes Heidenreich to beat the crap out of London for a bit.
WWE Tag Team Championship: Paul London & Billy Kidman (c) versus Kenzo Suzuki (w/ Hiroko) & Rene Dupree (w/ Fifi)
London looks like a half-wrapped mummy. London starts off with Rene. Kicks and headscissors by London. Tag to Kidman who nails the legdrop. "Shades of Rock & Roll Express" double dropkick by Kidman & London on Kenzo. Kidman rolls up Rene for two. Rene hits the hotshot on Kidman and Kenzo comes in. Chops by Kenzo and he goes after the arm. Bulldog by Kidman. Dupree gets in a kick. London gets tagged in and lands some elbows and kicks. Kidman sends Dupree to the floor. Enziguri by London to Kenzo. Kidman sets up for S.S.P., but can't do it. Tag to London and Kidman walks off. London nails Kenzo with some fists and a dropkick and pleads to Kidman to return. Kidman walks on to the back. (Commercial time!) Rene is working on the bandaged arm of Paul London. Elbows and jawbreaker by London. Kenzo pulls down the rope and London flies to the floor. Kenzo attacks and posts London hard on his shoulder. Rene stomps away at London and hits a "Juvi-Driver". Kenzo comes in and uses the Face Claw-Slam to get the pin.
Winners and New Champions: Kenzo Suzuki & Rene Dupree (with Hiroko)
Video Promo time. The Big Show returns in two weeks!
WWE Fantasy Salary Cap Game. To pay to do what millions do for free every day, go to WWE.com for details.
The EMT's are helping Paul London in the back. He goes to confront Kidman. London goes on a long rant towards Kidman. Kidman just keeps packing his bag. London asks Kidman what he has to say for himself. Kidman just says "Nothing!". Booker T is walking around the back and ready to leave. Here's Teddy. Booker is a lumberjack tonight so he needs to go get ready. Holla! Holla! Holla! Playa!
We see a commercial for "Unforgiven" - live this Sunday on PPV. Kane versus HBK. You know you want to see this one! Buy the PPV. (or just read the results on the Internet. Guess which one I plan to do?)
WWE SMACK OF THE NIGHT: From last month, Spike Dudley turns on Rey Mysterio and stomps him through a table.
Spike Dudley (with Bubba & D-Von) versus Rey Mysterio
Spike attacks almost immediately and starts clubbing away at Rey. Rey hits some kicks and a gut buster. Hotshot by Rey. Bubba trips Rey up and makes him sing the high notes. The Dudley's are in. Here's Bob Holly in for the save. RVD comes out as well. The faces clear the ring.
This match: NO CONTEST
Charles Robinson comes over to the mic and says the match is now a six-man tag. Restart the match.
The Dudley's (Bubba, D-Von & Spike) versus Rob Van Dam, Hardcore Holly & Rey Mysterio
RVD and D-Von exchange punches. RVD nails a kick. Crossbody by RVD for two. D-Von with a neckbreaker and a tag to Bubba. Bubba hits the neckbreaker on RVD and tags in Spike who nails the "stomp". Spike rolls up RVD for two. D-Von nails an elbow for two. Camel clutch by D-Von. RVD with the jawbreaker. D-Von with another elbow and a tag to Spike. Spike goes for the eyes. RVD hits a dropkick. Bob Holly tagged in. Fists an backdrop by Hardcore Holly. The dropkicks are flying. Rey in with a springboard for two. The Dudley's regroup and put Holly and Rey on the floor. RVD nails some kicks and gets the 5-star on Bubba. RVD nails D-Von on the floor. Holly gives Spike the Alabama Slam. Spike's chiropractor is watching at home and sets up an appointment for the morning. Rey hits the "drop of a dime" to get the pin.
Winners: Rob Van Dam, "Hardcore" Bob Holly & Rey Mysterio Jr.
Josh Matthews is in the back with Kurt Angle. Josh is annoying. He asks Kurt about the controversy. Kurt says there is no controversy because he beat Eddie last week. Kurt rags on Josh and Teddy Long. It's not fair. Kurt walks off.
"Day of Reckoning" is now available on Nintendo Gamecube. I don't know how good the game is, but the John Cena rap in the commercial is awesome. And I don't even like rap so that's saying something.
Next week on Smackdown - it's match 4 of the "Best of 5" series between U.S. Champion Booker T and challenger John Cena. Booker leads the series 2 - 1.
Here's comes John Cena. I'll just start calling him the human yo-yo because he says "yo!" about a hundred and seventeen times before cutting a funny rap on Booker T. Lots of gay references and a nice bit of nostalgia as Cena mentions Booker's brother and former tag partner Stevie Ray. Nice bit.
Tazz and Michael "Metro sexual" Cole plug "Tough Enough" again. The deadline has been extended to 9/22. Go to WWE.com for details.
We see highlights from last week as Eddie and Kurt went two out of three falls. Kurt won the first fall when Eddie got DQ'ed for a low kick. Eddie won the second fall with a roll-up. Kurt got the third and deciding fall when Luther Reigns nailed Eddie from the outside with a chair in the leg. Kurt locks in the ankle-lock and Eddie is forced to tap. Then Luther decided to beat on Eddie a bit as Kurt exited up the ramp.
We see Carlito Caribbean Cool at the beach. Kid's aren't cool. He kicks in the sand castle of a little girl. I don't blame him. I don't like kids either (except for the "Demon Spawn" I call a niece). Carlito is cool and he's coming to the WWE.
We see Paul Heyman in the back and watching the promo. Here's Teddy again. He wants to see Heidenreich. Funny! No one else does. Paul says he gave "Big Johnny" the night off. Teddy says Paul E. is in match tonight. It's Heyman versus a TV announcer. Heyman says "No Tazz!" It's not Tazz. Heyman assumes it's Michael Cole and starts talking trash. Cole responds from ringside and says he can take Heyman. (Take him out dancing and to a movie, maybe, but that's about it!) Teddy says it's not Cole, but Heyman isn't listening. He's headed to the ring to get him some. H
Paul Heyman versus Funaki.
It's Smackdown's # 1 Announcer and he quickly attacks Heyman. Just lots and lots of fists. And here's Heidenreich. A big kick to Funaki and a backbreaker. Heyman covers and counts his own pin.
Winner: Paul Heyman (by counting his own pin)
Heidenreich locks a cobra-clutch on Funaki. Heyman goes after Michael Cole. Heyman slaps Cole. Cole goes after Heyman, but here's Heidenreich. Cole screams out "feet...do your thing!" and disappears over the barrier and up into the audience. I believe he left a cloud of dust at ringside by running so fast. Big "you suck" chant for Heidenreich as he threatens Cole who's out in the audience.
Coming up Sunday at "Unforgiven", it's Randy Orton defending the World Championship against Triple H.
SMACKDOWN THROWBACK: We go back to December 6, 2001 as Vince McMahon gets a face full of stinkface and Rikishi's big ass, courtesy of the Rock.
RAW REBOUND: From Monday night, HHH decimates Eugene in the cage and takes out the shoulder of everyone's favorite goof. Randy Orton fights Kane and gets a little low for the DQ. The match is restarted in the cage and Orton manages to nail Kane with a chair and RKO for the win. Evolution attacks, but Randy manages to escape to the floor and get away from HHH's evil clutches.
Tony Chimel introduces some of the Lumberjacks for the main events:
Booker T, The Dudley's, Rene Dupree, Kenzo Suzuki, Luther Reigns, The Basham Brothers, Rob Van Dam, Charlie Haas, Rey Mysterio Jr., Hardcore Holly & John Cena. Time to go to commercial as the rest of the Lumberjacks come out. The remaining Lumberjacks were The FBI, Scotty 2 Hotty & Akio. No sign of Jamie Noble, Billy Gunn or Shannon Moore. Whassup wit dat??
LUMBERJACK MATCH: Kurt Angle versus Eddie Guerrro
Eddie starts off strong with fists and kicks. A dropkick sends Kurt to the floor. His buddies console him and the Dudley's help Kurt back in the ring. Eddie back on the attack. Kurt hits a knee and sends Eddie to the floor. The Basham's & Luther roughly help Eddie back to the ring. Eddie attacks with chops and kicks and a dropkick. Kurt goes to the floor and decides to walk. Hardcore Holly and others put Kurt back in the ring. Eddie locks in a half-crab. Kurt flips Eddie out to the floor. Eddie goes after Luther. Akio nails Eddie and they put Eddie back in the ring as Kurt gets two. (Commercial) Kurt is laying in the shoulders as we return. Backbreaker and abominable stretch by Kurt. Eddie flips out and throws some punches. Kurt locks in a chinlock. Suplex by Eddie. Kurt sends Eddie to the floor. Rey & friends check on Eddie and put him back in the match. Suplex by Kurt for two. Eddie starts to "hulk"... I mean "Latino heeeaaaatttt" up and lands some fists, kicks and a suplex. Ankle lock by Kurt. Dropkick by Eddie for two. Three Amigos in de' house! Eddie goes to the top and Luther grabs the leg. Eddie sings the high notes. Kurt hits the superplex and goes for the ankle lock. Eddie with a roll for two. Ankle lock by Eddie. Luther and Cena hit the ring and everyone comes in.
Match Result: No Contest...
Everyone is fighting everyone and here comes the Big Show. Didn't he see the promo? He's two weeks early! Damn him! Show just nails everyone. Chokeslam for Bob Holly. A headbutt for D-Von and Bubba gets sent to the floor. Show tosses Spike to the floor and Chokeslams Cena. Rey gets tossed and Haas gets slammed. RVD gets nailed hard. Dupree gets french-fried by the Big Show. A swat and a Chokeslam for Nunzio. He's special. Chokeslam for Eddie Guerrero. Big Show stands alone. Wait! Here's Kurt Angle. Kurt begs off. Splat! Kurt gets chokeslamed. Here's Luther Reigns and he attacks the Big Show. Punches and kicks by Luther. Splat! Luther goes down hard. And the Show stands tall.
That's it. A lot of screwy endings to the matches tonight. Was Dusty Rhodes booking these matches? But it was still a good show. The return of the Big Show. New tag team champions. And the biggest feud in the history of Smackdown - Michael Cole & Josh Matthews versus Paul Heyman & Heidenreich. Can you smell the ratings? Well, three of them might be entertaining. Too bad the big blond freakizoid is involved. It was a decent show. Teddy is doing a great job as the GM. Holla! Holla! I expect we'll see Kidman & Paul London feuding after tonight as well. That should make for some fantastic matches. Both of these guys can really put on a great show given the chance. The opportunity is here and I'm looking forward to it. Let's recap the matches.
John Bradshaw Layfield (with Orlando Jordon) beat Charlie Haas (with Miss. Jackie)
Rene Dupree & Kenzo Suzuki (with Hiroko & Fifi) beat Paul London & Billy Kidman to win the WWE Tag Team Titles.
Spike Dudley versus Rey Mysterio was a no-contest.
RVD, Rey Mysterio & Hardcore Holly beat The Dudley's
Paul Heyman (with Heidenreich) beat Funaki by counting his own pin.
Lumberjack Match: Kurt Angle versus Eddie Guerrero was a no-contest.
And that'll do it for me tonight. Any comments or questions, just drop me a line at either Doug28352@yahoo.com or DougMaynard@wrestlinginformer.net. I'll see you next week with the Smackdown recap and I'll be back on Monday as well with the Raw recap. Until the next time, take it light! See ya!