Saturday, November 12, 2011

Short & Sweet Survey Tyme: November 12, 2011

Short But Sweet Survey

Do you believe in unicorns?

I believe in magic and I believe in love and I even believe in happiness so I may as well give unicorns the benefit of a doubt too, right? *Sighs* I wish I could, but unfortunately, unicorns are only as real as one might imagine them to be, like Santa Claus, The Great Pumpkin and honest politicians. I wish they were real, but I just don't see it.

How many of you does it take to screw in a light bulb?

I don't do "lightbulbs"... they're a communist plot by aliens to rule the world and they look funny. If a bulb burns out, I just ignore it or tell somebody to "fix that".

Are you single?

Technically, yes. There is a person that I love more than anything and want to be with and he seems to feel the same way (either that or he's one helluva liar / actor), but for reasons that are beyond our control, I can't be with him nor he with me. So I keep my options open and do what I do. My heart is spoken for, but the rest of me is open for business. (Damn, that sounds bad, doesn't it?)

Do you like pickles?

Well, I'm sure that they do have their uses, but I've never had a taste or fondness for them. I think they're a bit on the nasty side.

How do you feel about meadows?

I like to run through them, the wind flowing through my hair while I move in slow motion, just enjoying the part of being one with nature.... until I see the bull. And then I cry out, "Oh shit!". Meadows are cool!

Have you heard of Flarp!?

Nope, but I'm sure it's something very important that I can't live without. Can you get it at Wal-Mart?

Ever flipped a turtle over?

I have many times, but not in the way that most people would think. I've turned many a turtle that has been flipped over upside down and put them in the correct, upright position so they can go on their way to live long and be prosperous and do whatever it is that turtles do.

Do you like to doodle?

Is that what the kids call it now? I've always just called it "getting funky like a monkey" or "making the love!"... lol. Oh wait - doodle as in small, random drawings. Oops! My bad - I had a "Rick Perry" moment. If I'm bored and actually have access to a pencil and paper, I will find myself often just doodling around.

How do you feel about long socks and chucks?

Had to think for a moment to remember what "chucks" are, but it finally came to me. And I don't like long socks and anything. Ankle socks are cool, but anything any higher than that annoys the hell out of me and looks goofy. Maybe it's just me, but I think long socks should be banned and outlawed and crushed like disco albums in 1982... lol.

Would you rather find a four leaf clover or a heads up penny?

A head-up penny because pennies are money and I like money.

Ever squirted orange juice in your eye?

Yes, and it burns. So does corn juice from corn on the cob. And shampoo. And sperm. Liquids and eyeballs are not a good combination and putting them in contact with one another is never a good idea.

Do you keep a journal/diary?

I used to, but then I realized that in the wrong hands, these things could be dangerous. Just think about it and the things I say and write in these surveys and in my blogs? That is me being highly censored. Now, just imagine what journals, totally uncensored, from me, would be like? Scary thought, isn't it? So I gave up on the journals and diaries. Now I just do blogs and surveys and what you see is what you get. I still talk about my life, but you have to read between the lines to get the good stuff.

Do you play an instrument?

I have no musical skills at all. I used to play one of those cheap Casio keyboards when I was younger and I had a harmonica I could toot-toot out a little bit on, but I was never really any good at it. I've been told that I'm damn good with the skin-flute, but that's just speculation based on the experiences of a few good men.

What is your favorite sound?

The purr of a small cat or the coo of a small, happy child.

How many kisses on the lips have you given?

I'm not sure. I've never bothered to count them.

What's your favorite ride at the amusement park?

The Roller Coaster - I love the speed and the excitement and energy of the ride, which is kind of crazy because I'm scared of heights and ride like the Ferris Wheel terrify me, but if it's going fast, the height doensn't bother me at all. Go figure.

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