Friday, October 14, 2011

Tossing Salt - Worldwide News: October 13, 2011

Tossing Salt - Worldwide News
October 13, 2011
Doug Maynard

Happy Thursday! Back again, after a long absence of almost a week with yet another edition of professional wrestling's most eclectic column, the one and only, never imitated or duplicated, but often pointed and laughed at, wrestling column for the people, by the people and who are these damn people, "Tossing Salt - Worldwide News".

Over the past two weeks, I've decimated the ranks of both the WWE and TNA, plus provided the names of talents to fill the voids. I've also peeked into my crystal ball and provided the names of the winners and losers for not only WWE Hell In A Cell, but TNA Bound For Glory. I've been a busy guy. Then I took a few days off, but now I'm back. So what do we do for an encore?

How about a little chit-chat about a few topics of discussion currently making news in the world of the "King of Sports". That'll be a good start. And I'll throw some classic wrestling quotes and a "Who Am I?" at the end. Sounds like a wrestling column to me. So let's just jump right to it, shall we? I'm Doug and as they used to say in those classic Scooby Doo cartoons, "And I would've gotten away with it too if it wasn't for those meddling kids!". Let's do this...

Currently watching VH1 and their "100 Greatest Songs Of The OO's" countdown. It's almost at the end. According to the powers-that-be at VH1, the top song of the first ten years of the 21rst Century is... "Crazy In Love" by Beyonce, featuring Jay Z. Really? Really? Really? Really? I demand a recount! Where is Miley Cyrus? Where is Hannah Montana! It's a conspiracy! Someone call Little Jimmy! "Party In The USA" and "Best Of Both Worlds" should have won. Someone call Kanye West so he can jump on stage and protest. It just isn't right.


Lots of changes taking place on the Flagship program of the WWE. Triple H compares the rest of the rosters to brooms and says brooms can provide better matches. Vince McMahon, who HHH replaced as C.O.O. a few weeks ago comes out and tell HHH that he's been stripped of day to day control of RAW. Johnny Ace is the new RAW "Interim" General Manager. Half of the viewers watching turn off their TV sets because Ace has the charisma of a lemon. Ace fires Jim Ross. He rehires Miz and T-Truth. The show goes from interesting in a car wreck sort of way, where you don't want to watch, but don't want to miss anything just in case there's a body or dismemberment to totally unwatchable and insulting to anyone with half a brain's worth of intelligence in less than an hour. What the hell are they thinking?

Less than two months (and two pay per views) ago, WWE was getting interesting. CM Punk was attracting new fans to the WWE. It was getting a buzz. It was interesting. And then Kevin Nash was brought into the storyline to "add" something. Triple H and Vince had to placate their egos and become part of the story. And Mr. "Suck The Life Out Of Any Segment" Johnny Ace Laurinaitis had to get involved as well. It's like they took one step forward and then stepped back three steps and fell off a cliff. And whatever happened to CM Punk, the catalyst of the entire storyline? He's just an after-thought now, languishing in the shadows of Triple H, John Cena and Alberto Del Rio. So much for that push, right?

But I did note one think I liked out of this past week's RAW broadcast. Dolph Ziggler, Jack Swagger, Cody Rhodes and Christian all united and acting as a unit. True, two of the guys are on RAW and two are on Smackdown, but I'd like to see this grouping kept together as a unit, under the guidance of Vickie Guerrero. Two former World Champions along with both the United States and Intercontinental Champion? Sounds like a super-group to me.

And I don't even care if they have David Otunga as part of the group too. But I hope they do stay together as a group and collective unit with a mission to protect Dolph's and Cody's titles, while pushing Swagger and Christian towards the World and WWE Championships. And Vickie leads the way as a real "manager", in the tradition of Sherri Martel, Missy Hyatt or Nancy Benoit aka "Woman". Sounds like a plan to me.

Otunga / Hudson Problems...

Speaking of David Otunga, rumors are abound that his long anticipated marriage to Oscar winning actress / singer Jennifer Hudson may be on hold due to Otunga's reluctance to sign a pre-nuptial agreement with the multi-talented mega-star, Hudson. I can see Hudson's point. She's a big star on the rise and she has to protect her assets.

But Otunga has been there for her when she was fat, when she went through the tragedies of her family members being brutally murdered, and through everything else that Hudson has endured. Otunga has been right there by her side. And they have a beautiful little boy together. I don't think Otunga cares about her money. He's well on his way to making a nice living on his own as a WWE Superstar and although his income isn't nearly what hers is, he's not going to be hurting anytime soon.

Forget about the pre-nuptial agreement. If someone I'm in love with and want to spend the rest of my life with says that we have to have a pre-nup to be together, it makes me think that they don't expect us to stay together and last. Otunga isn't there for the money - he's there for his love of Jennifer Hudson and the love he has for his son. Just get married already.

Khali Gone...

The Great Khali was recently "injured" by Mark Henry a few weeks ago and became a member of Henry's "House of Pain". The reason for this "major storyline moment" is that Khali's contract is almost over with and the WWE has opted not to sign the big man back up. It only took about what...six or seven years? And they finally realized what the fans have been saying since Khali first debuted in the WWE. He sucks!!!

Officially, the excuse is that this gives Khali a chance to spend more time working on his acting career. He was good in "The Longest Yard", so that might be a good move. And he's leaving on good terms so he can come back once or twice a year and stink up the ring. The guy is big and scary looking, but he was and will never be a good "wrestler". So good luck to Khali and much success in Hollyweird. You should fit right in with that crowd. Tell Charlie Sheen hello for us.

Hogan & Bischoff Resign With TNA...

More big news from Orlando, FL as reports have come out saying that Hulk Hogan, after much thought and saying prayers and taking vitamins, and most likely after much looking at his bank accounts and wondering how much more money his "loving family" is going to cost him this year, has decided to sign a new deal with TNA for the next two years. All together now. Yay!
Two more years of the "Immortal One" coming out and cutting promos to drive the fans away. Two more years of "The Pythons" coming out each and every week and making all sorts of promises and threats he is physically unable to get into the ring and back up those words. This does not bode well for the future of TNA Impact Wrestling.

Maybe it's just me, but if a wrestler can not wrestle, why keep him. If it's Flair, who never needs to step into the ring as an active wrestler again - please - he can at least be used as a manager. But Hogan can't be used in that way. He's too used to being "the star" to ever take a backseat and use his "rub" to get other wrestlers over. Look at Immortal? Those are some big names and talents, but they all still get overshadowed by the power of Hulkamania. So if managing is out and he's not the "Boss" of TNA anymore, why is Hogan even there? Bleh! I guess this just means two more years of watching TNA and using the Hogan segments as bathroom breaks.

As for Eric Bischoff, I could see him being used in a role as a manager for Immortal or being used behind the scenes in a television producer capacity. If nothing else, Bischoff is good at producing TV. By the way Eric, how about a reality-TV show where it's like "The Real World" or "The Surreal Life", but have seven or eight former wrestling stars living together in a house. It'd make great TV. That's just a suggestion.

But anyhow, I don't want to see Hulk and Eric on my TV each and every week doing the same old crap they've been doing for the past two years. I'm not a fan of The Hulk. I am a fan of Eric, but enough is enough. This new deal and two more years is NOT good news for me, unless both men and their characters can be repackaged and morphed into something with a purpose and entertainment value. I'll keep hoping, but I won't hold my breath.

TNA Bound For Glory (Thoughts and Predictions)

I know that I already did a prediction column for TNA Bound For Glory, which is coming up on Sunday. I got my dates wrong. I marked it on my calendar and I didn't double-check when I wrote the column with my predictions. AND NOBODY CALLED ME ON IT!! So I goofed, but since nobody noticed, it doesn't count. But here are my predictions for this upcoming TNA event...

Bobby Roode over Kurt Angle to capture the TNA Impact World Championship.
Sting over Hulk Hogan when Jeff Hardy interferes. Dixie Carter regains control of TNA.
RVD over Jerry Lynn in the Full Metal Mayhem Match.
Bully Ray pins Mr. Anderson in the Falls Count Anywhere Match.
Austin Aries pins Brian Kendrick to retain the X-Division Championship.
Mexican America defeats Ink Inc. to retain the TNA Tag Team Titles.
Velvet Sky over TNA Knockouts Champion Winter, Mickie James and Madison Rayne to capture the Knockout's Title.
Crimson over Samoa Joe & Matt Morgan
AJ Styles over Christopher Daniels

And there you go. That's TNA Impact Wrestling's biggest PPV of the year and it looks great on paper, with the exception of the Hogan - Sting match which is going to require a ton of smoke and mirrors, not to mention shenanigans to pull off. Hopefully, they'll get that one out of the way early and then move on to let the other stars of Impact shine, as they should.

So what's left? Oh yeah, here we go...

Wrestle-Zone.UK Celebrates 10th Anniversary...

It's the UK's # 1 professional wrestling and MMA website. It started with a dream and a lot of hard work way back on December 1, 2001 and here we are, ten years later, still going stronger and better than ever. Gary (the owner) and Paps (the webmaster) have done so much to make this site rock and stay strong and significant and deserve much applause and praise.

I didn't come aboard until 2003 when the site I was writing for at the time, went down, but Paps and Gary offered me and my column, "Tossing Salt - Worldwide News", a home. Eventually, that invitation would grow to include T.S.'s sister columns, "Six Minutes" and "Tiger Tales". This site has meant so much to me personally for the past years and I can honestly say that of all of the people I've written for, this site and these people (Paps and Gary) are among the very best. I owe them so much and though I rarely say it enough, thank you.

Here's to at least ten more years and many more to go. Thank you Gary and thank you Paps. And thank you to everyone who's ever visited the site, clicked on a link or story at the site or read one of these columns. It's for you, the wrestling and MMA fans, that we're here and do what we do. Long live Wrestle-Zone.UK. At the top of the mountain and planning to stay here for a long, long time.

Classic Wrestling Quotable Quotes (Just Because I Can)...

Jesse Ventura commenting on Uncle Elmer kissing his wife: "They look like two carp going after the same piece of corn."

Bobby Heenan on some Jobber: "I once asked him what came at the end of the sentence... and he said "parole"."

Paul E. commenting on War Games: "This is more dangerous than double dating with Danny Bonaduce on the Kennedy compound."

"Gene Mean, look at our body. Cameraman, zoom!" -- Iron Sheik

Jim Cornette introducing Stan Lane: "Ladies & Gentleman, the man who taught William Kennedy Smith everything he knows about dating, Sweet Stan Lane!"

Stan Lane introducing Jim Cornette: "Ladies & Gentleman, the man who taught Pee Wee Herman everything he knows, Jim Cornette!"

"Take a one way trip down to Larry Land!" -- Larry Zbyszko

"Missy is really a man. She's a cross dresser. She hangs out with Sammartino. They shave each other's back." -- Paul Heyman

Bobby H & Gorilla on Chico Santana:
Bobby H: Did you know Tito holds a place in Guiness' Book of World Records?
Gorilla: Yeah? For what?
Bobby H: He picked 1,600 heads of lettuce in 1/2 an hour.
Gorilla: Will you stop...

"I can't jump high, so I jump from high places." -- Cactus Jack

"Want a hot dog, McMahon?" -- Jesse Ventura

Bobby Heenan on Kerry Von Erich: "He's the only man I know of who can hide his own easter eggs."

"Jerry Lawler walks in here with his crown - DA DA DUM - Imperial Margarine - and talks about what he's going to do to me. Lawler, if you think you're going to beat me, if you think you can do ANYTHING to me, than you really are the king. King of FOOLS, jack!!" -- Roddy Piper

And now, let's move on to something I haven't done in a long, long time. It's time to bring back everyone's favorite...

Who Am I?...

I started my career in 1970 working for my father in his Alabama-based promotion, where I was a member of a group called "The Stud Stable", as well as part of a tag team called "The Avengers". I followed my cousin, who was doing a manager gimmick, to WCW in 1994 where I enjoyed a degree of success as part of a tag team with a veteran who went by the nickname of "Mr. Unpredictable" when we captured the WCW World Tag Team Championships. Unfortunately, our feud was overshadowed by our manager's love triangle with two of the top female wrestler / managers in WCW at the time. I left WCW and returned to the Indy scene in 1999. In recent years, I've continued to wrestle in the Indy's and have made two appearances in the WWE as the (kayfabe) parent of an All-American superstar, which caused me to be tombstoned by Kane and then later attacked MVP. In August of 2011, I became the new Tennesee Mountain Heavyweight Champion. Who am I?

Think you know the answer? Drop me an e-mail at and let me know who you think this long time former WCW star is. Questions and comments welcome as well.

Happy Birthday to WWE Hall of Famer and wrestling Icon Nikolai Volkoff...

And that will do it for me today. I'll be back tomorrow with a look at the upcoming AWE Night of Legends pay per view and lots more stuff as well. I'm out of here. I'm Doug and this has been "Tossing Salt - Worldwide News". Until the next time, always be a fan. Thanks!


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