Tossing Salt - Worldwide News
Let The Bodies Hit The Floor Series - Part 5
October 3, 2011
Doug Maynard
I'm Doug and here with you with Part 5 of my series of columns totally redefining the WWE roster and landscape. What I've done for the past four days is take a look at every single WWE Superstar listed on the rosters for WWE Raw and Friday Night Smackdown, performed a quick evaluation and made a snapshot decision on whether or not, if I was making the call, they would be a part of the WWE in days to come. I cleaned house for the WWE to make them into a lean, mean, fighting machine for the days ahead. Or as the one-time theme song for Smackdown used to say, I "ler the bodies hit the floor".
Per my recommendations, the following people would remain employed by the WWE: The Miz, R-Truth, Alberto Del Rio, Beth Phoenix, CM Punk, Drew McIntyre, Dolph Ziggler, Evan Bourne, Eve, Goldust, Jack Swagger, Jim Ross, John Cena, Justin Roberts, Kharma, Mason Ryan, Michael Cole, Michael McGillicutty, Mr. McMahon, Primo, Ricardo Rodriguez, Skip Shefield, Santino, Triple H, Vickie Guerrero,Zack Ryder, Alicia Fox, Booker T, Brodus Clay, Christian, Cody Rhodes, Daniel Bryan, Ezekiel Jackson, Jey Uso, Jimmy Uso, Johnny Curtis, Josh Matthews, Justin Gabriel, Kane, Layla, Mark Henry, Matt Striker, Natayla, Randy Orton, Rosa Mendez, Sheamus, Sin Cara II, Tamina, Ted DiBiase, Tony Chimel, Tyson Kidd, The Undertaker, Wade Barrett, and William Regal.
And the following people would be updating their resumes: Kevin Nash, Alex Riley, The Big Show, Brie Bella, Curt Hawkins, David Otunga, Gail Kim, Jerry Lawler, John Laurinaitis, John Morrison, JTG, Kelly Kelly, Maryse, Niki Bella, Rey Mysterio, Scott Stanford, A.J., Askana, Heath Slater, Hornswoggle, Jack Korpela, Jinder Mahal, Kaitlyn, Ranjin Singh, Sin Cara I (Mistico), Great Khali, Teddy Long, Todd Grisham, Trent Baretta and Yoshi Tatsu.
Only thirty people getting canned. I must be getting soft in my old age. The last time I did this kind of column, back in December of 2009, I handed out pink slips to over forty-five stars. Being unemployed myself for the past two years has mellowed me out far too much. I need to work on that.
But with that many names removed from the WWE roster, I'd have to find names and talent to take their place, right? Of course I would. And now, for the 5th and final column of this series, I'm going to take a look at 33 names that could be hired and brought in by the WWE to fill the void and refresh the product, giving in new life and energy to sustain the company for the next generation.
I've pulled name from former WWE Superstars who are no longer with the company, some names that I know personally from the NC Indy circuit who are ready for prime time and that trip to the big show, and a few prominent players who are currently with a wrestling company based in Orlando, but deserve far more money and exposure than said company can or will provide for them. Yeppers, my friends. So let's jump right to it.
Tossing Salt - Worldwide News: Let The Bodies Hit The Floor Series (Part 5 of 5) - The Replacements.
Chris Steele: This guy, one half of the tag team "The Main Attraction", is so good on so many levels. He can work magic in the ring, he's a fantastic talker and he is definitely as good as it gets. His size might be a bit of a problem since Mr. Steele is not the biggest of men, but his heart is twenty times bigger than any other wrestler I know and that makes all the difference. He could definitely hold his own in the WWE and would be put on the fast track to strong upper mid-card status. Mr. Steele is the type of guy every company needs to have. The fans always react and he can have a match with a broomstick and make it exciting. He's a walking, breathing treasure that's been buried in the NC Indy scene for far too long and I'd love to see him take his well deserved place within the ranks of the WWE.
Derk Douglas & Brad Branson (BD Productions): Brad and Derk are 2009 Salty Award Winners. They're the hosts of one of MySpace's hottest shows, "BD TV". They are great faces, but better heels. And they're getting better and better each and every week. If the WWE is serious about attempting to rebuild their tag team division, this is a pairing that needs to be looked at. They're still young men, but they have a presence and talent to spare and with the proper supervision and training, could easily be a solid and top tier tag team for the WWE. This is the future and with men like Brad and Derk in the picture, their hearts and passion for the business that is professional wrestling, it's looking rather good. They remind me a bit of Buddy Rose and Doug Somers for some reason. Don't know why, but they do. So give them a manager or valet, like Sherri Martel was for the Rose / Somers team (and Derk's wife, Chloe, would be awesome in this capacity) and the sky is the limit.
Dylan Kage: Talk about energy and excitement and you're talking about Dylan Kage. The man is talent and entertainment personified and to the extreme. He's got a great, unique look (although those eyes are a bit creepy, in my opinion anyhow), a ton of talent and charisma pouring out every inch of his body. Kage has already made a big name for himself on the Indy scene up all through the south-east, headlining cards each and every weekend. I'm surprised that TNA or the WWE hasn't already snatched him up, but like Chris Steele earlier, he's a hidden treasure waiting to be discovered. He's lightning in a bottle waiting to be unleashed upon the mainstream wrestling world. Can't wait until the day it happens.
Ethan Storm: Mr. Storm is classic, old school, tough as they come, bad-ass wrestler. He's not flashy or overly hyper. He's just damn solid in the ring, solid on the mic, and business waiting to happen. If this was twenty or so years ago, in the territory days, Ethan would be the top dog and just terrorizing everyone in sight. He reminds me so much of an Ole or Arn Anderson, who just gets into the ring, grabs a body part, works and breaks the opponent down, and gets the job done. Simple as that. The man has all the tools and skills anyone can ask for and a heart and love for this business that few can match. This guy, most likely, would never be your world champion. But he would be a solid top contender who takes on anyone and everyone and takes them to the limit, making stars and making an impact. A truly strong and top tier talent.
Luke Gallows: And now, with Luke Gallows, we move to the guys who already worked in the WWE, but were let go for the most ubsurd of reasons, usually that "creative has nothing for you" excuse. Gallows is a solid wrestler who was really starting to come into his own as a member of CM Punk's S.E.S. He works hard and gives a thousand percent in that ring each and every night. Let's give him another chance to strut his stuff in the WWE. He's got so much potential and talent, it's a crime to do anything else.
Colt Cabana: What was the deal with the "Scotty Goldman" crap? This is Colt Cabana, or if you need a generic masked guy, Matt Classic. He's a great wrestler, a great talker, extremely good worker and the fans connect with him in a way that they do with few others. In his last run with the company, fans were really starting to get behind the guy, despite little TV time and no push whatsoever by the company. Then he was canned, more for his relationship with CM Punk and jealousy by the WWE old school who saw this guy as a threat than any real reason. Bring him back and let Colt Cabana do what he's been doing all over the world for so long - entertain people. It really does need to be done.
Rob Conway: A solid performer who could easily be a top guy for the WWE, much like he's currently doing in OVW. Forget the stupid gimmicks of feuding with the legends (a pre-Randy Orton legend killer), or "The Con-Man doing things the Con-Way". He can keep the theme music (Just Look At Me), but just repackage him as a no nonsense, tough guy and let him do his thing. He's got the talent and skills to take it to the limit and beyond. Just let him do it.
Rene Dupree: Still relatively young and very under-rated. this guy was okay during his first run with the company, but despite him limitations, he managed to be over with the people. He's more experienced now. He's better now. He has just enough name recognition that some old school fans might be curious enough to tune in and see him perform. And he's got the skill set to keep them coming back again and again.
Sylvian Grenier: He was what, like 19 or so, when he first came and worked for the WWE. He's still very young, but now he's got experience and has grown as a performer and a person. He wasn't really ready for the big time during his first run with the company, but he did very well anyhow. Now let's try Round 2 and see what the former member of La Resistance can do.
Kenny Doane (Dykstra): This guy has so much talent and charisma that even a stupid gimmick like the Spirit Squad couldn't hold him back. Unfortunately, a trumped up assault charge by an over-zealous fan did derail his career for a bit. He was predicted, time and time again, to be the one who would end up as the breakout star from the Spirit Squad debacle. It's time for him to fufill those predictions.
Chris Masters: Only recently released from the WWE, Masters was having some really good matches. He busted his ass every day and the extra efforts and results were showing. He was on the verge of breaking out. And then he was released. And no one can understand why. Right this wrong and bring the man back to the company. Let the "Masterpiece" live once more.
Charlie Haas & Shelton Benjamin: Although both of these men are accomplished and talented singles stars, it's as a tag team that they really shine, as evidenced in ROH. These two men do one thing better than almost any other team. They wrestle! Simple as that. And they're both good enough to be used as singles guys too. They have name recognition, great reputations as talented wrestlers who could immediately be placed in main events and draw fans, and the right attitudes and respect for the business. Haas and Benjamin are everything that is good about wrestling and they prove it each and every time they step into a ring.
Paul Burchill: Despite stupid gimmicks like being a pirate and a possible freakizoid incestious dude, the man was getting over with crowds in his earlier WWE run. The fans realized that this guy has talent and ability and skills, despite the lame characters he was forced to play. He has the skills and needs to be able to showcase the skills. And the WWE is the right place for this to happen.
Mike Knox: The WWE had their own version of Bruiser Brody, complete with the size and looks to put terror in the heart of fans and wrestlers alike. And they dropped it like Linda McMahon drops money when she wants to buy her way into a political office. Yeah, that quickly. There was so much that could be done with Knox and the WWE never pursued it. They should. I would.
Brent Albright (Gunner Scott): The man was well on his way to becoming the next Chris Benoit when Benoit did what he did. And then the WWE decided that they didn't want anyone who reminded the fans of Benoit and Albright got the boot. Well, enough time has passed and Albright needs to be given another chance. Just imagine the matches he could have with Daniel Bryan or CM Punk. Fans are ready and it's Albright's time. The WWE needs to do this.
And let's head down now to Orlando and see who we can take away from Hulk Hogan's circus and give the recognition and superstardom they're due.
AJ Styles: AJ Styles deserves a chance to be a big, big star. TNA hasn't done the job and despite being a multi-time former World Champion, the average Joe on the street would still shrug and say "AJ who?". That's not good! He deserves better. After so many years of carrying TNA on his shoulders, it's time for the "Phenomenal One" to break the ties and look out for himself for a change. And that means the WWE.
James Storm: Who doesn't like a beer-swilling Cowboy? The TNA fans do and the WWE fans would. James Storm is a perfect example of someone who can wrestle, talk, be a face, be a heel, work the announce table if needed, etc. He's is that good and the WWE would give him the chance to really showcase his skills to a whole new, larger audience. That's where he needs to be. As for TNA, well... "Sorry about your damn luck!".
Kid Kash: Kash's problem is his mouth. He doesn't play politics very well. But he's a great worker, great talker and a helluva talent no matter how you look at it. He beongs on the big stage. And TNA just isn't it. WWE is.
Robert Roode: Another great talent that just deserves far more than TNA can offer right now. He's on the verge of making it to the top level of TNA, but that's still not the WWE, no matter what Hogan & Bischoff might tell us. The WWE is Broadway. TNA is a high school gym play in Des Moines, Iowa. Roode is ready for the big show.
The Pope (Elijah Burke): He was one of the highlights of the WWE version of ECW, but like the rest of everyone ECW, when that experiment failed, he was released due to the infamous "creative has nothing for you" excuse. But he's can talk and he can perform like few others. He'd be a great guy to help supplement the talent roster in the WWE and could easily pick right back up where he left off when ECW folded. He deserves the chance and opportunity to do so.
Matt Morgan: The WWE had him and didn't know what to do with him. TNA got him and have done a great job in buildng Morgan and making him a valuable commodity. And now that WWE has a path to follow in what direction to take Morgan, they could really get behind him and push him to the moon. He's a big guy with a lot of talent and a great heart. All he needed was a direction to follow. And now, he's got it.
Austin Aries: A great old school heel that you can't help but love to hate. Aries has long been ready to make that move to the big stage. He's almost there. When he works WWE, then he's completed the journey.
Alex Shelley: Alex Shelly is a money player with talent, a good look and extra charisma to spare. He'd make a solid and valuable addition to any roster or company. 'Nuff said!
Homicide: With Rey Mysterio out, the WWE needs a strong Latino star to help draw and attract the Latino audience and fans. And who better than Homicide? He can wrestle, he can talk, and he's solid as either a single or tag team wrestler. He's got a strong fan base already out there that would follow him to WWE and I'm sure he could, with the right push behind him, sell a helluva lot of merchandise. And who wouldn't like to see a series of matches with Homicide and CM Punk? I know I would.
Shawn Daivari: Daivari belongs in the WWE. Use him as a wrestler. Use him as a manager. Use him as a commentator. Use him just to instigate and stir the pot with everyone. It doesn't matter. Daivari is money. Just use him!
Trevor Murdoch: Trevor is a flashback to old school wrestling with a unique look, a unique mat-based skill set and a strange charisma that's hard to identify and classify, but it is there. He's a solid performer who can have a decent match with anyone and work either the opening match or the main event with equal ease. He's a diamond in the rough that you don't want to polish up too much. Just an old school, smash-mouth brawler and the WWE needs far more of guys like this.
Mark Jindrak: Since his early days as a part of WCW and the WWE, Jindrak has really made a name for himself, not only in Japan, but also for the past five years, as a major star in Mexico, both under his own name and under the identity of Marco Corleone. He is currently working on the MTV series, Lucha USA. This guy has grown and developed his star so much, a return to the WWE ranks seems a natural move and progression.
Dafney: I gave several of the Divas the boot, so we need some new ones. And with what this amazing woman showed everyone during her run in TNA, Dafney is definitely a potential Diva to look at and bring in. She's come a helluva long way since her screaming days in WCW... that's for sure. She might not be the best wrestler in the world, but she's hard working and willing to do almost anything and that makes all the difference.
Katie Lea (Winter): The WWE was stupid to let her go the first time and as she's proven in her role as "Winter", their mistake was TNA's gain. Bring her home to the land of Titan and let the woman strut her stuff on the big stage.
Mick Foley: Mick might have one or two matches left in him, but he'd be far more valuable to the WWE as an announcer and a talent scout for the WWE. And his presence in the WWE locker room would provide a steady hand and leadership role, which with a new, largely untested roster, such as I'm proposing, would be much needed. And if they need a solid promo guy for an on-air authority role, Mick would definitely, along with William Regal, be the one to turn to.
Tommy Dreamer: I've got Tommy here to take over the role of "Vice President Of Talent Relations" from Johnny Ace. Dreamer was up for the job a few years ago, but decided that he would rather wrestle than work in the office. Well, how's that working for you, Tommy? Take the office job, make the deals, find new stars and save the body, helping to get the WWE ready for the next generation, as it should be.
And guess what? That's it. I've gone through the ranks of the entire WWE roster, listed who needs to stay, who needs to go, and who would replace those who are shown the exit. And if I had my way, this is exactly how things would be. Well, this and a whole new creative team that's not named McMahon or Helmsley that actually cares about wrestling and giving the fans what they really want. The WWE would be a much, much better place.
And on that note, I'm out of here. Got things to do and people to see. Or is it people to do and thing to see? Don't I wish! But regardless, the five-part series is over. Comments and questions can be sent to my e-mail at Doug28352@yahoo.com.
Thanks for reading. I'm Doug and "dat is all de' people need to know!". See you next time.
Ubuntu!
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