(Retro) Smackdown Recap - 10/09/03

Smackdown Recap 10/09/03

What up, degenerates? It's time for the Smackdown Recap for 10/9/03. It's from Hartford, CT this week - the hosts are Michael Cole and Tazz.. Let's do this..

We see Vince and Sable tell Steph to resign from last week. She says no. Vince feels the need to strike down defiance. A cat fight erupts and Vinnie does the slam on Steph.

The opening montage and some fireworks. (Why is Rock still in the SD opening montage? Somebody please tell me!)

And break out the black beautys. Snoozer alert as the music hits and Linda McMahon comes to the ring. She just can't believe what's going on with her family. (I can't believe she keeps a straight face saying all this!) Here comes Steph with some dramatic acting - wait till the Emmy people see this. Here comes Vince and the soap opera is almost complete. He talks some junk and blames everything on Steph. Linda intercedes and says the match is unfair, so Vince puts his WWE chairmanship up against Steph's GM job.

And to cap everything off - here comes the Skank. Sable is in the ring. Vince cops a feel and introduces Sable to Linda. Sable talks some trash and offers Vince her "services". Linda with the big diss and tells Sable she's pretty generous with her services. A kick by Sable to Linda's belly-welly and Steph jumps on Sable. Catfight! Vince lands a clothesline on Steph and he and Sable leave while Linda plays the caring mother figure role.

Tajiri versus Ultimo Dragon

Rey Mysterio is on commentary. This looked to be a good match, but wouldn't you know it -the telephone rang and I had to turn the sound down and watch it out of the corner of my eye while talking to my sister, Lynn. She's doing good, by the way and was telling me about her neighbor who walks around outside in his underwear. Exciting stuff! (This dude is in his seventies, by the way so she says it's not any kind of thrill!) So, I missed what was probably the best part (wrestling wise) of the show. But Tajiri won with a kick to the Dragon's head. Afterwards, Rey came in and scuffled with Tajiri a bit and ended up giving Tajiri the 619.

Steph tells Josh that Linda will be in here corner at No Mercy. (Didn't they already do this McMahon family thing at a Wrestlemania with Shane versus Vince and Linda and Steph were in the corners? They're big time repeating themselves!)

Undertaker versus Chuck Palumbo (with Nunzio & Johnny Stambolli)

Taker brings a chain with him to the ring and wraps it in a corner. The FBI comes out. All UT tostart as he works on the arm and hits the "old school". Palumbo lands a big right and goes to work. Misses a dive and Taker is back in control.A snake-eyes for Palumbo and here comes the FBI. And there goes the FBI. A chokeslam and UT gets the win.

Winner: Undertaker

FBI in for 3 on 1 attack. Here comes Brock in as well, They work over UT for a bit, but he fights back - gets the chain and cleans house. Busts open Stamboli & Nunzio and Brock flees up the ramp.

Skank and Vince are in the back. Here's Paul London who introduces himself to Vince. He wants an opportunity. Vince gives him a match against Brock -and it's for the title.

A stage hand is eating burritos, so Big Show beats him up.

Channel surfing time - as over on Teen Nick - Sabrina the Teenage Witch is engaged to a troll.

From earlier today - Zach Gowen arrived at the arena and everyone is glad to see him.

Big Show versus Orlando Jordon

Can you say squash. It's all Big Show. On a couple of occasions, Jordon managed to get in a little offense, but nothing is as offensive as the Big Show and he just decimated Jordon with a big boot and the choke slam. Jordon better go back to making those Tai-Bo videos.
Winner: Big Show

Josh talks to Eddie Guerrero in the back. Eddie's not worried about Big Show cause he has "la familia". He's a little nervous, but he has faith in himself. Big Show attacks and slams Eddie against the backdrop - leaving him laying and coughing.

Coming Tuesday night on "Rock Me Baby" on UPN - the Violent Femmes guest star and sing Johnny Cash songs. It's definitely can't miss TV.

Battle Rap with Tazz
John Cena versus Kurt Angle

Both men come out and cut their raps. Cena is on fire and funny - Kurt grabs his hand and stops him at the end. Kurt tells a little story culminating in beating Cena's ass. Then Kurt clotheslines Cena and a brawl ensues. First Kurt in control. Cena hits him with the mic and takes over - choking him with the sweatshirt. Goes for an F-U, but Kurt hits the tri-plex and goes for an ankle lock --Cena hauls ass.

On Will and Grace - Karen and Grace are playing tennis.

Replay of the history of Zach Gowen, culminating in the big fall down the stairs (courtesy of Brock!)

MATT FACTS:
Matt is not afraid to eat alone in public.
Matt likes portabella mushrooms.

Shannon Moore w/ Matt Hardy versus Zach Gowen

Actually an OK match, all things considered. Zach starts off with advantage - and Shannon takes over. A suplex and he flips Zach into the corner. Shannon dives in and Zach moves. A knee and the big splat by Zach. A neckbreaker by Zach and Matt goes to the ring. Zach lands a dropkick - sending Matt to the floor. Shannon does a roll-up for 2. Sets Zach on the top, but Zach lands a sloppy DDT. He goes to the top for a moonsault & misses. Shannon with a neckbreaker for the win.

Winner: Shannon Moore

On Will & Grace - Will & Jack deal with Will's drunk mother, while Karen hates Grace's new husband.

A replay of the McMahon Days Of Our Lives from earlier is shown.

Chris Benoit & The APA versus The Basham Brothers and A-Train

The Bashams do an ambush on The APA, and Ron Simmons is injured -making this a 3 on 2. Just a messy clusterf*ck of a match - The Bashams dominate Bradshaw - he gets a tag to Benoit - and the craziness continues.A-Train nails Benoit with the trainwreck for the pin.

Winners; The Bashams and A-Train

After the match - the Bashams and Train continue to work over Bradshaw and Benoit and leave them laid out in the ring.

WWE Championship Match
Brock Lesnar versus Paul London

Total squash as Brock starts off with a cheap shot and take sit from there. Some backbreakers and a slam - Brock hits the F-5 and gets the pin.
Winner and still champ: Brock Lesnar

After the match - Brock continues to beat on London and sets him up for an F-5 to the ring post. Here comes the Undertaker. Their match is now a Biker Chain Match at Unforgiven.

Josh checks on Eddie Guerrero and talks to Chavo - who says the SHow won't get away with this.

On South Park - they deal with relationship issues and meteor showers. Oh crap. It's a "Butter" episode and not Kenny! This sucks.

Chavo to the ring and calls out the Big Show. Show comes out and is dressed in street clothes and says he won't be wrestling anymore tonite. Chavo taunts him and Show comes to the ring.

Big Show versus Chavo Guerrero
No match as Chavo bails and is counted out. Winner: Big Show

Chavo waves to the back and Eddie comes out atop a sewage truck. Eddie talks junk and threatens Show with a hose of RAW sewage (and I don't mean Monday night's Goldberg - Mark Henry match). Show says no and bails - heading to the back. Chavo from behind, trips him up. Eddie starts spraying and covers Big Show in sewage. Big Show is pissed. So Eddie sprays him again. Fans shout "Holy Shit!" Big Show lays there for a bit - gets up and busts his ass. Nasty as Big SHow makes some faces and looks like he's ready to cry as the show goes off the air.

A fitting end to a crappy show. It had some good points like the Angle-Cena stuff, but entirely way too much MaMahon stuff. And looking back now - it's not as bad as I gave it credit for. It's still pretty awful, but not totally nauseating. A few dramimine and I got through it fine. Well, that's the recap. Hope you enjoyed. Later all. Love ya - mean it!

-Doug