Tossing Salt - Worldwide News: February 10, 2012

Tossing Salt - Worldwide News
February 10, 2012
Doug Maynard

Greetings, my faithful few. It's that time again to wander into the kitchen of life, rip open the spice cabinet and start slinging condiments everywhere and anywhere. Translated, that means it's time for a little "Tossing Salt - Worldwide News". But you already knew that, didn't you?

As John Laurinaitis is my witness, this is going to be a good column with quite a bit of ground to cover. I've got thoughts and opinion on several recent news items involving such luminaries as Hulk Hogan, Madusa, Glacier and Fit Finlay. Wait a second... is this 1996 all over again? Nope, it's all current stuff. Whew! I was getting worried there for a moment.

And after I do my pundit routine, I've also got a brand new "Casting Call", as well as predictions and thoughts about the upcoming TNA "Against All Odds" pay per view. Does that sound like a plan or what?

And I'm sure that I'll probably think of a thing or two more as the column progresses... because that's how I roll. So go grab a drink from the fridge and sit up close to your computer because I'm Doug (pleased to meet you) and I'm ready to do this...

Bits & Pieces...

Ray "Lloyd" Glacier has started a wrestling advice blog at www.livingthedreamwithglacier.tumblr.com.

This is great news for all wrestling fans because I can't think of a better ex-wrestler to ask for advice about how to be a big star in the world of profesional wrestling. What's next? Dancing tips from Tank Abbott and fashion tips from Ralphus. Maybe Ric Flair can give tips advice on how to manage money as well.

Nothing against Glacier, but he was a mid-card flop at best who wouldn't have lasted more than a few weeks if he had been anywhere else, but WCW. I don't think he's the right person to be dishing out advice about how to make it and be a star, but then again, maybe his lack of success makes him the perfect person, as an example of what not to do. Hmmm!

Zack Ryder wrote the following on Twitter regarding WWE’s new “Are You Serious?” YouTube show: “There is a show called Are You Serious? on WWE’s YouTube channel? Um…#areyouseriousbro?!”

And the burial by the WWE and punishment for daring to get himself over without the blessing of the WWE Powers-That-Be for Ryder continues. They book him like a total idiot, take away his title almost immediately, do an injury-angle so he misses two of the biggest paydays of the year (Royal Rumble & Wrestlemania), totally destroy any credibility Zack has by having Kane destroy him and making him play third fiddle to both John Cena and Eve and now take his catch-phrase and use it for a WWE show that Zack has absolutely no involvement in. But the WWE still insists that they want their "stars" to take the initiative and work hard to make themselves into stars. Yeah, right!

Madusa revealed last week that she remains in possession of the WWF Women’s Championship she unceremoniously trashed during a 1995 episode of WCW Monday Nitro and that she’d like to defend it against Beth Phoenix. The legendary women’s wrestler tweeted an image of herself wearing the belt with a challenge to Phoenix reading “Are u woman enough?”

Madusa has continued taunting the WWE Divas Champion via Twitter. She wrote again to “The Glamazon,” “You will be the only one with mud on your face… And everyone laughing!”

Phoenix responded, “Bring the hate. It fuels me. #divaschampionforever.”

Madusa than vowed to take her Divas Championship. She wrote, “No hate…only love when I stomp that ass and take the diva title too! Let the schooling begin!”

I'm not sure what kind of shape Madusa is in or if she's even been inside a gym or wrestling ring in the past decade, but if she's in good enough shape, this could be a fun little feud for the WWE to use as filler once the hopefully upcoming Beth - Kharma feud is over with. Madusa was a good worker back in the day and while I doubt that she'd be any match for the likes of "The Glamazon" today, it could be a fun situation to watch and add some credibility and interest to the Divas Championship.

It looks as if Madusa is trying to get that "one last run" in and given the love of nostalgia acts by the WWE (Cody Rhodes versus Booker T anyone?), why not give it a shot and see what happens? It would have to be better than watching Natayla fart all over the place or yet another Kelly Kelly title shot.

Or, thinking outside the box here, how about a Trish Stratus versus Madusa mini-feud with the winner taking on Beth at a pay per view. Both Trish and Madusa have been making noise about Beth and that's the best way, to me anyhow, to settle it all. So how about it? Book it, Vince!

Hulk Hogan was recently interviewed by the UK Sun and had some interesting comments. My comments are in parenthesis...

On the topic of what he actually does for TNA:

“I don’t know what I do!” Hogan said. “I really don’t know! Everybody always asks me that! They’ve got a bunch of people there. They’ve got Dixie (Carter), of course. They’ve got Vince Russo who is the head writer, they’ve got Bruce Pritchard is the head of creative. Eric Bischoff is the executive producer. To me he’s between the network and the company, a middle man.

(So Hogan doesn't even know what his job is? That's a great gig to have. He just shows up, hogs the spotlight and changes storylines and cuts boring promos, but has no real reason to be there. I think someone from TNA needs to sit down with the "Hulkster" and get a little more specific with the man as to why he's there... or just can his leathery, old wrinkled ass. Whatever!)

I contribute, I’ll throw stuff out there creatively and every once in a while if I need to hit the ring I’ll slide on out there and do whatever, but I don’t really have a job description. I just try to be there, listen and contribute. If there is anything I can do to help or guide the direction, I’m there.”

(Translated, that means he listens to the storylines and uses that "stroke" of his to change things to a way that best suits Hulk Hogan. He has that "creative control" in his contract and as part of his "job", which he has no idea of what it is, he gets to influence and screw around with everyone... Brutha!)

On Bobby Roode winning the TNA Title at Bound For Glory, Hogan had the following to say:

“They were setting him up for failure. They had his parents and everybody saying what a great guy he was. You put the belt on him and he’s a good guy but he’s plain white milk toast and who is he going to work with? When I was sitting at home and I watched the interviews of his parents and his kids and his wife saying what a great guy he was I thought ‘You’ve got one of thegreatest wrestling angles set up here that I have ever seen and you don’t even know it!’

Don’t let him win the belt, have him screw everybody, turn heel, put some heat on him, keep him heel for a long time, get him red hot, and then when you turn him babyface he’s got a chance to be a Rock or a Stone Cold or a Hogan. (I thought before Bound For Glory) the way you guys have him set up now he’s just ‘one of those TNA originals that has five-star matches that don’t mean nothing’. Give the guy a chance!”

(Translated: Let's don't talk about where I used my stroke to change the match finish and keep him from winning the World Championship from Kurt Angle because that's not important. Now Hogan sees a rising star and wants to take credit for Roode and success he might enjoy, because that's just how Hogan rolls... Brutha!)

As seen on Friday’s SmackDown, Sheamus defeated WWE Intercontinental Champion Cody Rhodes in a non-title match. WWE’s website pointed out that Sheamus “pulled a new move out of his powerful arsenal” to get the win. That move was the Celtic Cross back-to-belly piledriver that Fit Finlay used.

First Sheamus started hanging out with the munchkin, Hornswoggle and now he's stealing Finlay's finishing move. All we need now is to have Sheamus carry a shileleigh and start busting people in the head and the transformation will be complete.

Doesn't matter though. Finlay is a tough SOB and even though the WWE "Creative" team is totally stealing his schtick, we all know who the original is. Fit Finlay > Sheamus! 'Nuff said!

CASTING CALL: The Big Bang Theory...

So here's the scenario. One of my current favorite syndicated shows is "The Big Bang Theory", starring Johnny Galecki and Jim Parsons. What I'm going to do here is re-cast the show as the WWE might if they were creating their own version of the show. Yeah, a little fun and goofing off as I try to decide which WWE Superstar would best fit in each role. Let's do this...

Dr. Leonard Hofstadter (Johnny Galecki): The geeky nerdy "straight man" of the show. I'm not really sure which WWE superstar would fit this role. He'd have to be short and whiney and kind of annoying, but in a lovable way. Hmmmm! How about Josh Matthews? He's short and whiney and kind of annoying, but totally unoffensive. He'd fit this role quite well actually.

Dr. Sheldon Cooper (Jim Parsons): Sheldon and Randy Orton share the same haircut. That's about the only thing I can see that they might have in common, but in the world of the WWE, that would be enough. So Randy gets the nod here.

Penny (Kaley Cuoco): A talentless actress with big boobs. What WWE Diva can play this role? Just reach into the pile and pull one out. They're pretty interchangable anyhow. I'll go with Kelly Kelly... just because.

Howard Wolowitz (Simon Helberg): The nerdy little whine-ass that lives with his overbearing Mom and thinks that he's a stud, even though we all actually know better. That sounds like a Daniel Bryan spot to me. And A.J. looks a twee bit like the nerdy little mouse-girl that plays Howard's girlfriend on the show. Works for me.

Rajesh Koothrappali (Kunal Nayyar): A nerdy brain who can't talk to women unless he's hammered. Damn, I know that feeling. I know he's an Indian in the show, but the only people of Indian descent in the WWE are Jinder Mahal or Khali and I just can't see either of them in this role. Justin Gabriel has the right look though, so unless the WWE gets Shawn Daivari (who would be perfect), my second choice would be the South African high-flyer instead. And his best friend, Heath Slater, can play the comic book shop dude. Sounds good to me.

And now, let's move on. Coming up on Sunday is the most recent TNA pay per view offering, "Against All Odds!" So that means it's time to break out the "Sister Cleo" outfit and gaze into the crystal ball. Yeppers, it's prediction time.

TNA Against All Odds Pay Per View Predictions...

TNA World Championship Match
Robert Roode (c) versus Jeff Hardy versus James Storm versus Bully Ray

If I remember right, I believe that Sting said on Thursday night that he would be the "special enforcer" for this match. That should make it pretty interesting and less likely for any major shenanigans between Roode and Bully Ray.

I don't think Jeff Hardy will be the Champ anytime soon. It's too soon in his return and in my eyes, he hasn't earned that right yet. And Storm just doesn't do it for me as of late. He started off as a singles guy strong and then kind of faltered out. So that leaves Roode and Bully Ray. Hmmmm! Ray has been looking great as of late and deserves his first World title, but I can't see them taking the belt off of Roode just yet. Look for Roode to pull a double-cross and pin Bully Ray to win the match and keep the title.

Winner and STILL TNA Impact World Champion: Robert Roode

TNA Tag Team Championship Match
Crimson & Matt Morgan (c) versus Samoa Joe & Magnus

I like both teams and I like this feud. Morgan and Crimson belong in the WWE. They just have that look about them that screams "WWE Superstar!". Joe and Magnus aren't quite as pretty, but they're a good team and tough as hell. Look for a title switch... possibly the first of many... as Joe pins Morgan in a moment of confusion and walks out, along with Magnus, as the new champs.

Winners and NEW TNA Tag Team Champions: Samoa Joe & Magnus

TNA X-Division Championship Match
Austin Aries (c) versus Alex Shelley

Where did Alex Shelley come from? He's been MIA for quite a while and now, all of a sudden, he's the # 1 Contender for the X-Division Championship? What happened to Kid Kash? The Kash - Aries feud still had quite a bit of life left to go and now, out of the blue, Alex Shelley is here and Kash is MIA. I don't get it! Glad to see Alex back in the TNA ring, but I just don't see him walking out as the Champion anytime soon.

Winner and STILL TNA X-Division Champion: Austin Aries

#1 X-Division Contenders Match
Jesse Sorenson versus Zema Ion

I like Zema Ion. He's a sexy dude, even if he does share the name of one of the nastiest alcoholic beverages ever created. Zima, the malt beverage, was nasty. Zema, the TNA high-flyer, is HOTT! And Zema > Sorenson. 'Nuff said! Ion wins.

Winner: Zema Ion

TNA Knockouts Championship Match
Gail Kim (c) versus Tara

Finally, we get to see Victoria (Tara) back in the main event of the Knockouts Division. She's awesome. She's always been awesome. Has Tara ever been the TNA Knockouts Champion? I don't think so and even if she has, it hasn't been recent. It's time for her to get some gold and glory.

Winner and NEW TNA Knockouts Champion: Tara

AJ Styles versus Kazarian (w/ Christopher Daniels)

Daniels interferes and Kazarian gets disqualified. And this weird feud that makes no sense continues.

Winner by DQ: AJ Styles

Garrett Bischoff (w/ Hulk Hogan) versus Gunner (w/ Eric Bischoff)

How much do you want to bet that this will be the semi-main event match. With the presence (and egos) of the two men at ringside, how can it go anywhere else on the card? Gunner will do his job and carry Garrett to a decent match. Eric will play the sleaze-ball and try to "screw" his son. And Hogan will find a way to make the spotlight and be all about him. And young Garrett will walk out the winner at the end of the match. Hogan's ego would allow no less.

Winner: Garrett Bischoff (w/ Hulk Hogan)

And there you go. My predictions for the TNA pay per view "Against All Odds". Woo Woo Woo - you know it!

Before I head out and call it a day, I want to compliment Sting for the way he conducts "business" as the resident TNA Authority Figure. I noticed this during Impact on Thursday night. Sting comes to the ring, says what he has to say and leaves... quick, simple and to the point. I wish that other certain men of power, especially one certain "Ace" of a guy from the WWE, would take notice of and learn from. No need for arguments or long, drawn out (scripted) promos. Just say what you have to say and leave. Sting "gets it!". I wish others would as well.

And on that note, I'm going to close this up for now. Questions and comments can be sent to Doug28352@yahoo.com. Also, go check out my blog-site at www.tsfiction.blogspot.com for all things Dougie.

I hope that everyone has a good weekend and a Happy Valentine's Day on Tuesday as well. I'm Doug and I guess that's all folks. Got places to go and people to do (or something like that!) Until the next time, I'll steal Sting's line and say, "Ta Ta for now!". I'll catch you on the flip side.

Ubuntu!